Paddy's Perils / Back- ward Glance page 7 A Sports Review page 8 In the News.,. Thousands of Hindus failed in a new attempt to storm and ancient shrine daimed by Muslims in the Indian town of Ayodha, and at least 24 more people died in violent incidents sparked by the dispute. Th e Center for Defense Information estimates that the cost of maintaining the U.S. military force in the Persian Gulf region is $32 million per day. Th e Russian Federation began imple- menting its own radical 500-day program for a market economy. The republic's parliament also approved a law declaring Russia has full control of its resources. M ichaelandLindy Chamberlain, the Seventh-day Adventist couple who claimed their infant daughter was carried off by a dingo in the Australian outback, are plan- ning to divorce. Custody of their three children has not yet been determined. John F. Kennedy, Jr., who twice flunked the New York bar exam, passed the Connecticut bar exam Friday, allow- ing him to practice law in the state. Number of U. S. states that dispose of hazardous waste in another state: 50. Th e Air Force delayed indefinitely the classified mission of the space shuttle Atlantis, which had been scheduled for this week, because of problems with a military spy satellite aboard the space- craft. During the A SB Bam Party at Byard Parks'house Gabrielle Bailey and Kerri Allenfind an opportunity to express the warm, Union family sparkle. Photo by Garde Monthie. Christianity Out of a Top Hat by Garcie Monthie By using slight-of-hand to illustrate Christian principles, Steve Varro, a Chris- tian illusionist performed, November 2, for vespers at the College View Church. With his effect, he showed the worldly differences between God's love and Sa- tan's deceitfulness, hoping to lead people to a closer walk with Christ. Varro says, "With so many off-shoots in this age that we are livingin, and in our continued on page 3 NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY Editorial 2 Inside UC 3 AIDS Feature 4 And So It Goes 6 The Grapevine 10 2 - The Clocktower Editorial by Leland Krum ARE YOU A PROCRASTINA- TOR? Join the ever increasing club. I'm vice-president of the local chapter and many of my friends have deep loyalties to the organization. The following poems are for club members only. "They were going to be all that they wanted to be-tomorrow. None would be braver, or kinder than they-tomorrow. A friend who was troubled and weary, they knew, would be glad of a lift-and needed it too. On him they would call-see what they could do-tomorrow. Each morning they stacked up the let- THE CLOCKTOWER Editor Leland Krum Copy/Feature Editor Brenda Oickerson News/Layout Editor Amy Baugher Advertising Manager Arlin Blood Photo Editor Garcie Monthie Sponsor Greg Rumsey Printer Graphic Masters THE CLOCKTOWER is a bi-monthly publication of the ASB. It is a forum for student-oriented news and opin- ion. All letters, personals, stories, poems, kingsize Snicker bars, large $ bills, and loose change should be in our mailbox by Thurs. at noon for inclusion the following week. All unsigned editorials are the opin- ion of THE CLOCKTOWER and will be written by the editors. All other opinions expressed are those of the author and must bear his or her name. THE CLOCKTOWER reserves the right to edit and/or paraphrase letters for reasons of clarity and space. ters they'd write-tomorrow. And thought of the folks they would fill with delight-tomorrow. The greatest of people they just might have been, the world would have opened its heart to them. But in fact, they passed on and faded from view and all that they left when their living was through was a mountain of things they intended to do- tomorrow." This next poem doesn't prick the pro- crastinator as much as the preceeding poem but it contains some good questions you should ask yourself. AT DAY'S END Is anybody happier because you passed his way? Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today? The day is almost over and its toiling time is through, Is there anyone to utter now a kindly word of you? Can you say tonight in parting with the day that's slipping fast, That you helped a single brother of the many that you passed? Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said; Does the man whose hopes were fad- ing now with courage look ahead? Did you waste the day or loose it? Was it well or sorely spent? Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent? As you close your eyes in slumber do you think the God will say, "You have earned one more tomor- row by the work you did today?" These were taken from selected au- thors. j, 1 $30 Off Eyeglasses Purchase a Complete Pair of Eyeglasses and Save $30! Buy any frame from our entire stock of the latest eyewear fashions and any lenses including bifocals or trifocals. Add extras like tintings and coatings, then take $30 off the price! Duling Optical "We'll Change The Way You Look At Life" Expirtt Dewmber 31,1990 3923 S. 48th St. East Park Plaza The Atrium 'ZZZ^Z 488-3106 466-1924 476-9652 <£»•*«»» Inside UC The Clocktower - 3 Recital Notes by Deanna Smalling Take note! During the course of the year, Engel Hall is host to six student recitals, three persemester. Music majors and minors and persons on any type of a music scholarship are required to per- form for at least one recital during the semester. The recitals are open to anyone in a music class who may wish to per- form. Since all levels are included, there is a tremendous variety of abilities and styles. The music performed is mostly classical and sacred. However, there are also many contemporary pieces. NOT JUST FOR ENTERTAIN- MENT Dr. Ryan Wells, professor of music, says the purpose of recitals is to refine one's performance. They are "not just for entertainment, but they are a testing ground." Another music professor, Dr. Dan Lynn, feels that recitals provide a LSAT GMAT MCAT GRE The Test Is When? C,Kisses l:onnine Now. 216 N. 11th, Suite 102 Lincoln, NE (402)475-1010 NEXT CLASS GMAT: Nov. 6 GRE: Nov. 15 LSAT: Nov. 28 MCAT: Feb. 3 chance for students to air the music they have been working on in the studio and get feedback. It is also a chance for fresh- men to hear more advanced students. MASTER CLASSES Plans are being made to begin hosting four recitals per month within the next few years. Two of these would be "mas- ter classes" which would allow more criti- cal feedback from peers and teachers. The other two would be formal recital presen- tations. For now, however, the recitals occur on the last Tuesday night of the month. The next one is scheduled for November 27, so take this oppurtunity to attend and support your peers! JfX Recycling Off to a Good Start by David K. Tan Executive Vice-President If you haven't already noticed, dozens of recycling containers have been strategi- cally placed all around campus. In an effort to encourage environmental respon- sibility, the Union College Senate Appro- priations Committee allocated funds specifically targeted for recycling purposes. Senators, officers, editors, and advisors share the weekly responsibility of collect- ing the recyclables. Currently, the deli, cafeteria, Admini- stration Building, and Rees Hall are ac- tive participants in the ASB Recycling Program. The response has been extremely positive as evidenced by the active use of the containers. If you haven't already begun to be environmentally responsible through recycling, I encourage you to do so. It is quick, easy, and a positive habit that could determine the future for generations.^^ Varro has been performing for 15 years with a gospel flair. Photo by Garde Monthie. Top Hat from page 1 denomination, we must keep our goals focused on the same thing. We must learn to walk by faith and not by sight..." INTREST STARTS AT AGE NINE He became interested in performing il- lusions at the age of nine when he saw a slight-of-hand artist perform. From ages 10 to 19 it became a serious hobby for him. He became a Christian in 1975 at the age of 26 and began to use his talents for God. He has been performing slight-of-hand with a gospel flair for 15 years, traveling to 47 states and five Canadian providences. Varro also has had the pleasure of per- forming with world-renowned illusionist David Copperfield and Harry Blackstone. He has written five books dealing with showmanship, comedy and basic illusions. Originally from South Bend, Indiana, Varro currently lives in Nashville, Ten- nessee, with his wife and 17 year old daughter. NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY STANLEY H. KAPLAN lake Kaplan Or Take Your Chances Hermans Hutch 29045 So. 48tn Friendly and Homey Atmosphere Very Affordable Antiques and CollectiblfiS 4 - The Clocktower Feature My Roommate Has AIDS! by Lei and Krum "H ow would you react after find- ing that your roommate had AIDS be- cause of his/her 'extracurricular' activi- ties?" This ethical question was presented to the students of Union College in a campus-wide survey. Of the 60 responses, 15 would move to another room, and 45 would love their roommate the same as before. None of the respondents chose the third option: "Stay in your room but pretend your roommate doesn't exist." The following comments were written anonymously. MOVE TO ANOTHER ROOM • I would understand that I probably couldn't contract the disease, but I wouldn't want to risk it. I would still love and support my roommate, however. • If they were homosexual I would move. Otherwise, I would stay put. • I don't feel we know all there is to know about AIDS, so it would be foolish to stay with the roommate. Not only that, but the lifestyle is not one I would want to adopt. I could still show love, but from another room. I probably should have moved before now. • I'd move but still love-a Christian love. LOVE YOUR ROOMMATE THE SAME AS BEFORE • Is having AIDS because of "extra- curricular activities" any bigger a sin than...say...your roommate lying about his whereabouts during break? NO Un- fortunately, the consequences are differ- ent. • Just because they have AIDS doesn't make them awful...they are still people needing love and understanding. It is a very real possibility that you are living with or know someone with AIDS now. It might not have shown up yet. What is going to change if you know it won't stop him/her from having AIDS. • Everyone has sinned. Why would his/her sin be worse than any of mine? • I would help him/her out even more because they would need people more than ever during this time. • People with AIDS need love, sup- port, and friendship just like everyone else does. Different types of sins shouldn't be a factor in whether or not we should love others. Jesus loved prostitutes, cheat- ers, and saints alike. We should follow his example. • I would try also to learn how to help others to accept him/her as a person. • Just because people make mistakes doesn't mean it's the end of the world. We're only human and you don't get AIDS by showing you love someone. • AIDS is no reason to change your mind about someone. We don't change our mind about cancer patients do we? • They aren't any different. It's okay as long as you aren't intimate with them. • A disease shouldn't change the way one feels towards a friend. If it does then maybe your friendship wasn't what it should have been! • Still be careful and try to be their friend. • The roommate would probably leave college anyway, so there won't be much to worry about. • AIDS today is what leprosy used to be. I believe that God wants us to love our neighbor no matter what. • I wouldn't love him quite the same as before. Actually, since my roommate is my brother, I'd go tell my mother. How would you react after finding that your roommate has AIDS? • I'm married. I have to answer that I would love my spouse the same as be- fore. • AIDS is only contagious through "extracurricular activities" or through blood transfusion with an infected per- son. I don't participate in "extracurricu- lar activities" and blood that is used for transfusion is checked for the HIV virus before it is transfused. My roommate would actually be in more danger from me than I would be from him/her. Treating my roommate kindly and with understanding doesn't mean that I condone his/her behavior, but it does give my roommate the support s/he needs. • I would love my roommate the same as before and go for a quick check up. • It isn't my duty to judge others. By changingmy actions because of what he's done. I would be judging him. That's God's job. I would probably quit using his toothbrush though. • I hope that I would be able to love him the way I always have, but you never really know until you are faced with the situation. In all likelihood, I would be quite uncomfortable. • I would try to understand, and give help and courage. A Love your roommate the same as before Move to another room NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY Feature The Clocktower - 5 AIDS Not Fatal? Allergies Not Chronic? by Beatrice S. Neall AIDS does not have to be fatal; aller- gies, asthma, and arthritis don't have to be chronic, asserts Dr. Sang Lee of the NEWSTART MEDICAL CLINIC in Weimar, California. Of the million and a half people who have tested positive for the HIV virus in the U.S., less than 150,000 have died-under 15% of the totals Many have lived with virus for 7 to 10 years without succumbing. Five out of a thou- sand cases followed in a Florida test actu- ally revert from positive to negative- their bodies overcame the disease. (All of the five made changes in their lifestyle.) Numerous medical workers have acci- dentally stuck themselves with infected needles without getting the disease. Why are so many immune or resistant to the AIDS virus? STRONG IMMUNE SYSTEM The secret is that they have a strong immune system. Asthma, allergies, ar- thritis, and cancer are also reversible, Lee insists. These, in common with AIDS, are caused by a compromised immune sys- tem. The standard medical approach is to spend billions in research to locate and identify the enemy (virus, fungus, bacte- rium) and develop weapons to destroy it. Often the body's own immune system is destroyed in the process. Lee's approach is radically different. He believes in going back to the cause of the disease-faulty lifestyle-and correcting it so that the body can rebuild it own defenses and destroy the enemy. Lee knows from experience what he is talking about. A Korean, born during the terrors of war with Japan, he began life as a sickly child. His health deteriorated further when he became a U.S. citizen and adopted the rich American diet and sedentary, high-stress lifestyle of a South- em California doctor. He soon came down with a host of illnesses-asthma, allergies, arthritis, and alopecia (falling hair). His marriage suffered from his increasingly irritable personality. An internist and allergist, he was able to heal himself. His life dramatically changed when he met Jesus Christ and discovered the health message-that disease is causal, not casual, and can be healed by faith in God and obedience to the laws of nature. He expe- rienced a remarkable recovery, even grow- ing back lustrous black hair. He has helped numerous patients experience dramatic recoveries by teaching them what causes disease and how to live a balanced life of spiritual, physical, and mental health. NATIONAL SENSATION Dr. Lee created a national sensation in Korea when ten of his lectures were aired on prime-time TV in January and Febru- ary of 1989. He told the nation that the wave of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer they were experiencing for the first time in their history was due to their new- found prosperity and adoption of the western diet and lifestyle. Immediately the nation-wide consumption of meat and dairy products dropped 20-30%, bringing him under attack by the meat industry. A poll taken by the Korean Broadcasting Service showed that 81% of those polled supported Lee. Lee has made an extensive study of immune system and the genetic cause of disease. His advocacy of the NEWSTART program for heal- ing-trust in God, combined with exercise in the fresh air and sunshine, generous use of water, and a diet based on fruits, whole grains, and vege- tables, is supported by research from UCLA, Harvard, Stanford, and the National Institutes of Health. The CLOCKTOWER and the WELL- NESS NEWSLETTER will explore some of Lee's insights on the causes of diseases and the God- given way to overcome them. AUDIO TAPES AVAILABLE Lee's revolutionary ideas on healing are obtainable through tapes of his seminars for his patients. One called "Health, Mind, and Lifestyle," deals with the immune system, diabetes, depression, and obesity (10 tapes, $35). Two other seminars are available, "Allergies," and "Nutri- tion and Disease" they convey his warm personality, infectious sense of humor, and information worth a fortune. To obtain the tapes, call Weimar Institute toll-free [1 (800) 525-9191]. Lee's tapes will soon be available at Campus Ministries in the Dick Building for those who would like to borrow them. Calendar of Events November 8 - Basketball Witness Team (BTM): Ankeny, IA November 9 - Vespers: Ron Whitehead VI Alternative: CABLE Cafe November 10 - CVC: Global Mission Video (1st service), Celebration of Thanksgiving (2nd service), BTM: UC, ASB Late Night Escape November 12 - Men's and Women's volleyball begins November 13 - ASB Convovation, BTM: UC November 15 - BTM: Haviland, KS November 16 - CVC: Bob Bretsch, SOS: SM Adventure November 19 - ASB Sentate 6th ses- sion, NEXT CLOCKTOWER tfncolf 61 TV Music Videos Over 18 Hours a Day No Cable Required! Now Broadcasting With 5400 Watts % Estimated by the Center for Disease Control ft NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY 6 - The Clocktower And So It Goes by Kelly V. Schmitt I never went to camp as a child. The hot, humid summer days of my child- hood were spent at home, on four acres of southern Missouri farmland. No one farmed those acres, unless you count the biggest garden in the world located at the bottom of our hill. As a child I wrote back-to-school es- says on "What I Did Last Summer" con- sisting of a single sentence: "I worked in the garden." Not that garden labor ended with the first day of school in August: one year our family ate the last fresh tomato on Christmas Eve. That meant an entire semester working in the garden after school digging potatoes, searching for zucchini, cutting okra, and finding box turtles and black snakes in the toma- toes. FRIED GREEN TOMATOES AND MASHED TURNIPS My grandmother, who lived next door, subscribed to the "Waste not, want not" theory and forced us to eat fried green tomatoes, mashed turnips, and beet greens (I don't even like beets), because good children eat everything put in front of them without complaining. I didn't want to be a good child. I wanted to be decid- edly bad and sneak the weird vegetables onto my brother's plate, an impossible feat under the hawkeyed gaze of my step- mother. My grandfather didn't care. He mixed all his food together and said it didn't matter anyhow because it was all going to the same place. It was hard for a child to disagree with that kind of logic; nonetheless, to this day I have an aversion to one kind of food touching another on my dinner plate. GRANDPA IN THE GARDEN Grandpa worked in the garden with us. Mosdy he rctotilled and pruned grape- vines and helped put the corn back up after a heavy storm. The rest of the time he spent making and repairing things in his shop. On summer afternoons when the presence of my sister and I wasn't required in the garden, we loved to visit Grandpa in the shop he built himself. He might be sawing or hammering or paint- ing or cracking black walnuts while he listened to Paul Harvey on the radio or to an old Voice of Prophecy sermon on his reel-to-reel. Grandpa made a lot ofthings Back in Time around our house. He made the bench that my younger brother stood on as he brushed his teeth in front of the sink. He fixed the toilet. He made our dog's dog- house that was almost as good as a play- house except forthe spiders and the smell. THOSE LOVELY SNAKES Summertime was also a time for snakes. Once I almost stepped on a copperhead covertly lying in a patch of dead leaves, but at the last moment it courteously stirred and allowed me time to retreat. Mostly we had harmless snakes: garter snakes, kingsnakes, bull snakes, and black snakes. They were the kind we caught if we could and put in a mayonnaise jar with a little grass and nail holes in the lid and took to school to show to curious city children and amaze them with the fact that we could hold them without fear. When I was in fifth grade Chris Hansen caught a garter snake and put it in the teacher's desk. The teacher never found it. One summer twilight I encountered a short, thick brown snake on the drive- way. We gazed at one another in silence for a few moments; then slowly it reared up, flattened its head like a cobra, and began hissing and swaying. This display of power effectively froze me until I found my voice and shouted for help. My stepmother dispatched it with the .22, and we discovered it was only a hognose snake. Hognose snakes are supposed to roll over and play dead when threatened; obviously my presence was a challenge, not a threat. SPIDERS, BEAUTIFUL? Spiders were the other bane of our existence in the country. Brown recluses lived in our basement and bit my younger brother. Occasionally we found a black widow, but mostly harmless garden spi- ders gave us frights. They are the kind that spin big beautiful webs that end up in pictures on the front of a church bulletin with a quote from Psalms that says, "How beautiful are thy works, O Lord." I withheld judgement on the beauty of the Lord's works for many yean. The path between our house and my grandparents was infested at nighttime with the webs of these spiders. My sister Jenni and I felt like Bilbo Baggins and his companions as we crept through the trees with a flash- light, fearing that at any moment a spider would jump down in front of us with a full web and attack. The fact that these spiders were not poisonous and performed a valuable predatory function did not influence us one bit. They were evil and meant to be destroyed. Spiders with large egg sacs were the worst and the grossest. Memory prevents me from saying more. NEVER-WRITTEN ESSAY So this is the overdue back-to-school essay that was never written. Recollec- tions of those humid times are not so dominated by the garden theme as they once were. Snakes don't live in my back- yard anymore, and I have to work at camp to see large numbers of spiders. My brother no longer needs to stand on a stool to brush his teeth, and Grandpa doesn't crack black walnuts with his big green-handled nutcracker and listen to Paul Harvey anymore. Those summers were more fraught with danger than any since. And the memory makes me smile. NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY Backward Glance The Clocktower - 7 Paddy's Perils © AIRMAIL from Paul (Paddy) Ford Hi! Things have been really busy around here and I'm a horrible letter writer. Those are my excuses. I'm just starting to get ahead on lesson plans. I teach the first three levels of secondary maths (they call them maths here, not math), the first level secondary science, and the last two levels of physics (they have five years of high school in total). I also help supervise the secondary P.E. It is more like a noon recess because we play a game of soccer every day. It's a nice break because I get to join in the game along with the stu- dents. GORGEOUS IRELAND The country of Ireland is absolutely gorgeous. I now understand why they symbolize their country with green. It is very green here-probably because it rains alot. Most days you can expect some rain. I'm staying, along with another SM and a teacher, with Chuck Stout's parents, Pastor and Mrs. Stout, in their home. We have a beautiful view of Galway Bay here on the Atlantic Ocean. Though they do not have a lot of material possessions, the people here are very content. I have seen their willing- ness to share what they have. They iden- tify with the downtrodden. 12 OR 13 SIBLINGS I am very surprised to find that the na- tional unemployment rate is 20 percent. What is even more interesting, the num- ber of people employed increased last month, yet the unemployment rate went up. The reason for this is a decrease in by Garry Treft Th e next several columns will show you a little bit of what6 - The Clocktower it was like to date at Union College in the early 1900's. How much has it changed since then? NO COUPLING OFF "According to the first catalog there was to be no coupling off: 'Gentlemen must not escort ladies on the street or to or from public gatherings.' And the fac- ulty seemed to enforce this, outwardly at least. Mae Pines sighed: 'There is an awful gulf between the boys and girls here.' Certainly the faculty was diligent in its attempts to carry out the policy of segregation. SEPARATE TOWN DAYS "Certain 'town days' were set apart. The boys could go on Tuesdays and Thursdays and the girls could go on Mondays and Wednesdays. At the end of the fall and winter terms when a few went home for vacation, the girls could go on Thursday but the boys had to wait until Friday. No couples were allowed to go down town to concerts. They had to get their culture in splendid isolation. The boys went in one group, accompanied by a faculty member, and the ladies went in a separate group similarly chaparoned. Ordinarily the same procedure was fol- lowed when going skating. OBJECTIONABLE BAND MUSIC "As late as 1900 when John Philip Sousa's band came to town, it was voted by the faculty to advise the students not to go, but if any insisted and the president was uncertain, he should take the matter to the board. Perhaps this broke the ice a bit, for in December 1902 the facutly voted to allow those who wished to at- tend four 'unobjectionable' entertainments in Lincoln during the remainder of the year." Lest you think there were never any social opportunities, next time your fears will be put to rest. J^ emigration. Emigration is almost a way of life. The population stays low not because of small families (it's not uncom- mon to find a person with 12 or 13 sib- lings) but rather because of the high emi- gration rate. SMALL SCHOOL The Galway Adventist Church is small. There are about 20 members at church every week including the North Ameri- can staff. The school is smaller than I expected. I have an average of two stu- dents per class which can be challenging sometimes. I'll be going to Belfast in Northern Ireland at the end of this month to accom- pany the youth from our church to an Adventist youth weekend. There have been a lot of killings and bomb threats this past month in Belfast. I'll write and let you know if I survive. I'm really missing HOCKEY. The withdrawal symptoms are horrible. Please write and let me know how the FLOOR HOCKEY is going. A NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY The Rules of Romance, Part 1 8 - The Clocktower Sports A Sports Review by Mark Pfeiffer Since there hasn't been a lot of sports coverage in the paper lately I have much to write about. The World Series took place just a few weeks ago, and although it didn't last long it did offer some excite- ment forthe Reds fans or A's haters in the world. That "little kid" 3rd baseman for the Reds, Chris Sabo, was a nightmare for the A's and a surprise to the rest of the league. He looks like he should play for Cleveland. The Two Jose's were big sto- ries also - Rijo for his pitching excellence and Canseco for zero productivity and benching. (Most of us didn't mind seeing Mr. Ego benched. Maybe there is justice.) BUSTER DOUGLAS The moment of truth for Buster Douglas finally arrived when Evander Holyfield came into the fight in the best shape of his life and Buster came in look- ing much like his wife. As Ferdie Pacheco the "fight doctor" put it Douglas "jiggles every time he moves." Holyfield spent the first two rounds reading the direc- tions; in the middle of the third he figured out how to separate Douglas' head from his shoulders by coming over the top of a Douglas upper-cut with a right hand punch to the jaw that sent Douglas to never- neverland forthe next four minutes. Next up for the new Heavy- weight Champ, Evan- derHolyfieldcould be the "punching preacher" George Foreman. 49ERS AND GIANTS In football, the 49ers continue to roll and so do the Giants. Maybe when they play, they will beat each other into oblivion so the rest of the league can win something. The Broncos and the Vikings are display- ing all kinds of new ways to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. The "missing link" Herschel Walker has proved to be just that by helping to send Viking foot^ ball back to the stone age. These two teams play this weekend in Minneapolis; why, we don't know. The biggest event of the football season this year will again be Colorado vs. Nebraska for the Big Eight Championship. This time it's in Lincoln. The 7th ranked Buffs face the 3rd ranked Huskers in what the Nebraska fans hope will be revenge for the loss in Boulder last year. I personally hope that Colorado gives the Big Red the thrashing they deserve, but it should be a good game. IpredictCU24 NU21. Imightbe wrong. (Editor's Note: At press time, the final score was CU 27 NU 12.) PRESCOTT PERSECUTORS Closer to all of us, the Prescott Perse- cutors clinched the city league Softball championship. What a team, and even a cool name! Also, the city league football team once again beat Stacy's Locker (not a cool name). If you haven't seen them play, you should go. . I can't leave with out saying that the Witnessing Warriors are back and will once again be dominate. So all you "Pit Warriors" need to break out the black and gpt ready to rock the "Thunderdome". A COLLEGE VIEW ARDIS & JOHH FULK (EST. 1950) 3835 SOUTH 48TH 488-4171 • 488-6333 Opulence 402/489-1311 Mark Welch attempts to knock dovm a side bullet to Mike Jacquez in the all- famous Friday Afternoon Football. Photo by Garde Monthie. This space contributed as a public service. 4tf35 South 48th Street 'Lincoln, NE 68506 If what happened on your inside happened on your outside, would you still smoke? NOV. 15. THE GREAT AMERICAN SMOKEOUT. NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY H :A I R • SH A; U O N The Clocktower - 9 "Hi, I'm Clieff and I'm a drunk." by Todd Hoyt o n October 24, students flocked to the Amphitheater to hear Clieff Fryda speak on alcoholism. Clieff, a recovering alcoholic, is now a senior Theology stu- dent at Wesleyan University. For years Clieff has suffered from the disease of alcoholism. But by God's grace, said Clieff, he had an amazing turn-around in his life in 1984. He had received a DWI (Driving While Intoxicated); thus, he had to talk to his counselor. While speaking with his counselor, he finally admitted that he was an alcoholic-this is when he started recovering. ATTEMPTED SUICIDE Before the 1984 incident, Clieff at- tempted suicide twice. Alcohol was run- ning his whole life, and he didn't even know it. While talking to his counselor after his attempts, he said, "Screw it! I want out! I want to be dead." "It's O.K. to be sick, to hurt, to have a problem," said Clieff, "You can take your problem to someone." There are a couple things you can do when you find yourself in these situations. You can look in the blue pages of the phone book, or you can find a friend who will listen. If you're at the opposite side of the pendulum, you can help by being understanding and loving that person. In this life we're all given a candle, and we all have a choice to make: curse the darkness or light our candle. Here's Why You're So Tired! T h e next time people ask you why you are so tired, tell them why. No matter how tired you may be, your exhaustion is fully justified, as can be explained by simple arith- metic: The U.S. has a population of200 million. Of these, 72 million are over 65 years of age, leaving 128 million to do the work. When you subtract the 75 million under 21, you get 53 million. There are also 24 million em- ployed by the Federal Government, which leaves 29 million to do the work. The 13 million in the Armed Forces leaves only 16 million to do the work, and, when you subtractfrom this the 15,765,000 who are in state and city offices and the 520,000 in hos- pitals, mental institutions and similar places, the work force is reduced to 715,000. Fine, but - 462,000 are bums and vagrants, leav- ing only 253,000 to do the work. There are 252,998 people in jail, leaving - you guessed it - just two people, you and me. And I'm getting tired! —Anonymous My Education Before I went to school, I will condede, I couldn't read. And then, in the primary grades, I'm ashamed to tell, That I couldn't spell. And when I entered the middle levels, I really must admit, Sometimes it was hard to sit. Then, while I mewed on into upper classes, I suppose I should confess, My handwriting was a mess. However, I have no disclosures about high school. I still don't choose to recog- nize, That I took a special notice of guys. Grade twelve did not end my perpetual round of studies, For I don't hesitate to ac- knowledge, Ever since then, off and on, I've been going to college, —by Roberta Clausen NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY The Clocktower Ads by Shan Thayer Well , what's new on the grapevine? I assure you this writer is! So to begin with, I wish to give a simple explanation of the arrangement of this particular grapevine. Following are three paragraphs that have been devoted to spe- cific areas: sports, new words, and an unprecedented section of general gossip. LINCOLN, A PARTY TOWN Our sports section this week boasts the phenomenal, the unruly, and the past predictions of Howie Huntsman, in that order. In a mad dash for glory, the Presscott Pirates climbed to the top of the city Softball league where they now sit ogling over theirtrophy and laughing heartily. Our football team also has an interesting bit of info for us. It seems that they have defeated a monster team of former heavy-weight boxers that has failed to be beaten for the last 10 years. And now, the moment you have been waiting for-the Howie Huntsman predictions of the past. Howie was in the micro-lab comtemplating life and his belly button when I chanced upon him. "Tell me, Howie," I said. "Who would you like to win the up-coming Huskers/CU game? And why?" Howie grimaced, thought awhile, and finally offered the idea that he wished the Cornhuskers to win. Why? "I would like to experience my town, Lincoln, as a party town." UNIONIZED SLANG This edition of the Grapevine strives to educate its readers, so with all due respect to education I have persuaded myself to include this section of useful and colorful words that are running rampant on campus. Muan: \mon\-must. usage: I maun go to the up and coming Acapella concert. Mazzard: \maz-ord\- sweet cherry, usage: mazzard pie. Meaculpa: Way-aw-cul-pawV a formal acknowledgement of personal fault or error, usage: He gave her his meaculpa. Ripsnorter: ip-snore-ter\- humdinger, usage: That was a ripsnorter of a football game. Read: eed\- to take in information or study, usage: Read the next chapter in your textbook. RA: \R-ay\- 1. Egyptian sun god and chief diety. 2. symbol for radium. 3. regular army. 4. right ascension. 5. Royal academician, usage: There is an RA on our hall. (The writer admits he stole definitions from the word Ra, but only because they seemed fitting.) RONALD DISGUIESE OUT LAWED And now, a stockpile of veritable goodies that you would be wise to read up on! An amazing and revealing discovery is that Randy Hanson didn't hyperextend his knee doing backflips. For more information give Randy a call. A ninja in disguise as Ronald Cosignado frequented the neighborhood on Halloween night. Frightened mothers appealed to U.C. administrators, who vouched that Ronald disguises would hereafter be out- lawed. The student recital recently was a smashing success to those who believe that man for woman was made. Talk to Mike Smalling about a membership to this exclusive club. MACARONI JELLO Recent research has shown that Wayne Schaber prefers the refillable salt shakers of Amigo's to the cafeteria's stubborn plastic ones. Hot pots are useful items and a new recipe for macaroni jello can be obtained from Edward Kennedy in room 216 of Culver Hall. A general announcement was made by Mr. Deming to the men of East Culver 2nd floor: "There will be no janitor in your wing until one is hired. Try and keep it clean." Toilet paper is in high demand, and collection bins will be placed at convenient locations around campus. Thanks, Jeff. A hot issue for debate is the new-fangled Stereo War idea. Dormitories are endowed with numerous stereo systems, and we believe we can use them together to accomplish great things. To tune them all to one channel, and crank them would be quite satisfying. A volunteer would record how far away the sound could be heard. Stay posted for approval by faculty members. Well, that's the news, and I'm out of here. A special thanks to Amy Baugher who commissioned me to write this pleasant column. I hope to see you all again someday. Happy Easter! A WANTED; PLASMA DONORS- ( : .Yoii Cari Earri^j^^S.' ! 3s siiado^-ji^s®^ | BONUS PROGFLAM AVAILABLE^* -•-•••• - m •• •••• — Your Plasma is Urgently Needed, DONATE TODAY ASSOCIATED BIOSCIENCE, INC. 1442 'O' Street 475-1358 Open Mon. thru Fri. 7:30-6:00 Sat. 8:004:00 '$26"""$20% , NEW DONORS. bring in this coupon and;receive. $20.00 on your first donation RETURN DONORS .receive $20.00 your first time ~ back m over 2 months Receivgjan e?ctra 55.00 when you bring a friend who donates. University Plasma Center 1442 'O^Street. $5.00 when NOVEMBER SEVEN NINETEEN HUNDRED NINETY The Grapevine