Records Show Forty Percent of
Lais Stamper 
Students Wi 11 Vot ?
Most students have issues they 
would like to see addressed on 
campus, problems they would like 
resolved, and privileges granted. The 
easiest way to get this done is to vote 
for people who will represent your 
views in student government. But if 
this is the easiest way, then why do so 
many people not vote on campus?
If this year's statistics hold true of 
previous election involvement, only 
four out of every ten eligible students 
will actually vote for ASB officers. To 
be eligible to vote, a student must be 
enrolled in at least six class hours. 
That means that ninety percent of 
Union students are eligible to vote in 
the coming elections. 
So why do 
only forty percent of people actually 
vote? 
Many students said they 
didn't vote because Snoopy, the 
program students use to vote, is hard 
to work with. "Snoopy is okay, but I 
am not thrilled with it," says Andrew 
Jorgenson. 
~
Joe Parmele has seen the voting 
process undergo many changes, from 
paper ballots to setting up computers 
in the lobby of the ad building to our 
current juae of Snoopy. Parmele says 
that ttye percentage of voters has not 
risen 
during 
these 
different 
procedures. So if Snoopy is not the 
problem, what is?
Marie Becker thinks the problem 
boils down to homework. 
"Half of 
the problem is that we are college 
students and we are trying to get our 
homework.^ done." The other half, 
according to‘ Marie is that "the people 
who are running for office also have 
their homework to*do.to, so ASB is^ 
not an important issue her? on 
campus."
But is homework the only issue?
Ben Moore gives his reasons for not 
voting as "I just don't care. It is too 
much effort on my part. In the end it 
is up to the school board what 
changes will be made, and we don't 
really matter."^
Lincoln Racquet Club Closes on Saturdays, 
Stays Open for Over 20 Years
Amanda Sauder
Many 
Union 
students, 
including 
Sophomore 
Ben Murray, are 
taking 
advantage 
of 
the 
Lincoln 
Racquet Club's 
discount 
rate. 
"My experience 
has been really 
good," 
says 
Ben.
K
ids running circles around 
their moms, the smell of
chlorine, phones ringing. At 
first 
glance, 
the 
Lincoln
Racquet Club seems like any other health 
club, but the sign on the front door 
quickly distinguishes it: "Friday closing- 
4:45 p.m. Saturday opening-5:15 p.m."
Marlyn and Sharon Schwartz, owners 
of the Lincoln Racquet Club and Union 
College 
alumni, 
are 
Seventh-day
Adventists. 
As Seventh-day Adventists 
the^v believe that the 
seventh 
day,
Saturday, is a holy day called Sabbath on 
which they do no work. 
The Sabbath 
begins on Friday night at sundown and 
ends on .Saturday night at sundown. 
Because of their beliefs, the Schwartzes 
have chosen to close the Racquet Club 
during Sabbath hours-a half-hour before 
sundown/ Friday and a half-hour after 
sundown Saturday.
Although the Racquet Club is not open 
on Friday nights and Saturdays, which 
some call a disadvantage, it has still been 
.voted "Lincoln's Premier Health Club" 
and hosts approximately 5,000 members. 
Why has the Racquet Club been so 
successful 
under 
the 
Schwartzes' 
ownership?
When Marlyn Schwartz bought the club 
twenty-three years ago, in 1979, it consisted 
of only sue indoor tennis courts and a bar. 
Schwartz purchased the nine-year-old club 
from a partnership of investors because he 
"felt the land and facility were a good 
value" and that it would be a good real 
estate investment. At that time, he had no 
intention of getting involved in the health 
club business.
After 
talking 
with 
several 
"tennis 
people," however, Schwartz decided to 
continue using the building as a health 
club. 
He also decided to remove the bar 
and convert the club into a full-service 
facility that would include indoor and 
outdoor tennis courts, indoor and outdoor 
swimming pools, a gym, aerobic and 
strength equipment, racquetball courts, 
and a children's area. 
Under Schwartz's 
ownership, the club has undergone nine 
expansions, the latest an 8,000 square foot 
addition last summer. The club now holds 
over 87,000 square feet.
When Schwartz purchased the club in 
1979, there were only 175 members. Today 
the 
Racquet 
Club 
hosts 
2,500 
memberships-approximately 
5,000 
members-including 25 members from the
Story continued on pg
Responses to "The Mill Opens on 
by Cassie Milnes 
Issue 9/ January 31
Dear editor:
I found it a bit disappointing that Dan 
Sloan, a Union College alumni and former 
Union 
College 
employee, 
was 
not 
mentioned in the "The Mill Opens on 
Prescott" article by Cassie Milnes in the 
01/31/02 issue of the Clocktower. 
Dan is 
also an owner of The Mill and was a, if not 
THE, driving force in bringing The Mill to 
College View. He should have been given 
some credit also.
I'm hoping that you will print this 
information in the next issue.
Thanks for your time.
-Bruce Griffith 
Senior Accountant 
AdventSource Inc.
Story continued from pg. 1
original 175.
The Schwartzes believe that one reason 
for their success has been because they 
market to families. Family memberships 
have largely supported the club's growth. 
"Many times, we believe that kids bring 
their parents," says Sharon Schwartz.
The Schwartzes believe, however, that 
the main reason for the Racquetball Club's 
success has been God's blessing. "God has 
honored and blessed us," says Marlyn, 
"because we have chosen to honor Him."
The Racquet Club offers discount rates to 
Union College students. 
According to
Prescott"
Dear editor:
As noted in Cassie Milnes' front page 
article, (Issue 9, 01/31/02) the atmosphere 
of The Mill could be a warm place to relax 
as well as "conducive to studying" for some 
students. It's also close by, so that's a plus. 
The Mill isn't a bad place in itself as far as I 
know, but I do have some problems with 
the article written about it.
Caffeine is an unhealthy drug. "Caffeine 
doses in excess of 200 to 500mg (According 
to cnn.com coffee has anywhere from 57.5- 
137.5mg of caffeine per cup.) can produce 
an abnormally rapid heart rate, abnormal 
heart rhythms, higher blood pressure, 
higher body temperature, and increased 
secretion of gastric acids leading to 
stomach problems, as well as birth defects 
in offspring. It also may induce symptoms 
of anxiety, depression, nervousness, and 
dizziness" (from the Concepts of Wellness 
textbook, Lifetime Physical Fitness & 
Wellness, pg. 340).
Publishing an article that seems to 
promote drinking coffee and caffeine is a 
big no-no in my book, especially putting it 
on the front page! I think a good principle 
of life is putting our best foot forward, and
promoting coffee and caffeine is far from 
that. 
Maybe you disagree with me, but 
from what I know of the Bible and Ellen 
White's writngs 
I 1 find 
no 
evidence 
promoting coffee or caffeine.
"Tea and coffee drinking is a sin, an 
injurious indulgence, which, like other 
evils, injures the soul. These darling idols 
create an excitement, a morbid action of 
the nervous system" (Ellen White, Counsels 
on Diet and Foods, pg. 425). 
That is 
something to think about before indulging 
in your next cup of coffee or tea (or 
Mountain Dew).
-Jared Miller, Freshman
Health and Human Performance instructor 
Frank Martinez, the club has been offering 
these rates to Union students since 1986. 
"A lot of students have enjoyed the Racquet 
Club. It is an excellent price; we pay about 
a third of the regular price," says Martinez.
Students can pay either $45 per quarter 
or $90 per semester. Students have access 
to all facilities, including racquetball courts 
and are allowed to sign up for aerobic 
classes. Extra charges are applied only for 
use of indoor tennis courts.
The discount rates do come with certain 
time restrictions, however. Students who
pay the discounted rate are not allowed to 
exercise during the club's prime time hours 
(4:00-9:00 p.m. Monday thru Thursday, 
4:00 p.m.-closing time Friday, and 1:00- 
9:00 p.m. Sunday).
Many students, including Sophomore 
Ben Murray, are already taking advantage of 
the Racquet Club's discount rate. 
"My 
experience has been really good," says 
Murray. 
"There is lots of equipment and 
the club is usually not too busy. 
The 
workers are friendly and helpful. 
I have 
even begun to use the racquetball courts."
Ivhile We Are Still Sinners
Amanda Sauder
Tell Me About It!
The Clocktower is the official student 
newspaper of Union College. The views 
expressed in the Clocktower are those of 
the authors themselves and do not 
necessarily reflect those of the editors, 
Union 
College, 
or the 
Seventh-day 
Adventist Church. The Clocktower does not 
accept 
anonymous 
manuscripts. 
Requests to withhold the author's name 
may be considered.
Contact the editor, Amanda Sauder, with 
your comments at:
Address:
The Clocktower 
3800 S. 48th St.
Lincoln, NE 68506 
Phone:
(402) 488-2331 ext. 2091
E-mail:
AmSauder@ucollege.edu
For advertising information or if you would 
like to place an ad in the Clocktower, 
contact Ben Murray at:
Address:
Ben Murray 
3800 S. 48th St.
Lincoln, NE 68506 
Phone: 
(402) 486-2926
Fax: 
(402)486-2895
E-mail: 
8eMurray@ucollege.edu
Alex. He's my "puppy": a six-year-old 
Great Pyrenees who stands at my waist, 
has fluffy white hair, and drools—a lot.
My favorite e-mail from home during 
my first semester at Union was entitled 
"Bad Dog" and described 
Alexis latest fiasco. 
One 
niglft, Alex had eaten an 
“Entire package of candy 
com, half a bag of Lucky 
Charms, 
two 
wrapped 
popcorn balls and had 
finished off his midnight 
snack with, true-to-form, 
an after-dinner mint. The 
sugarcoated munchies had 
turned 
Alex's 
gleaming 
white coat into a sticky, 
orange-tinted disaster.
This hasn't been Alex's 
only offense. Whenever my 
mom finds Alex reaching 
for the popcorn bowl, she 
scolds him: "Alex! Get out 
of the kitchen! You know 
better than that." Ashamed,
Alex sticks his tail between 
his legs, cowers low to the ground, and 
crawls across the house. He pouts-curled 
up in a comer, refusing to look her in the 
eye-far the next few hours. Then, when 
he can't take the rejection any longer, he 
apologizes by snuggling his large damp 
nose in Mom's lap. She strokes his head 
and asks if he's sorry. He doesn't usually 
reply, but the droop in his big brown eyes 
says that he'll try harder. Mom knows she 
still can't trust him with chocolate in 
sniffing distance, but she wraps her arms 
around his neck anyway. 
She pats his
Alex had eaten an entire 
package of candy com, half a 
bag of Lucky Charms, and 
had finished off his midnight 
snack wth, true-to-form, an 
after dinner mint.
head and says, "Good boy, Alex. You're a 
good dog." 
And all is right in his world 
again.
Alex has taught me a lot about when 
God's forgiveness happens. Like Alex, I also 
make mistakes. 
And when 1 
do, my gleaming, sin-free coat 
turns into a sticky, sin-tinted 
disaster.
"I'm sorry, Jesus I whimper, "I 
messed up again." Cowering in 
His faultless presence, the 
j reality of my sin hits me-and I 
' am ashamed.
But Jesus doesn't say a 
| word; he just wraps me in his 
fatherly arms and bathes me. 
He scrubs away all my filth and 
carefully 
brushes 
out 
my 
tangles. He lifts my chin, stares 
into 
my 
teary 
eyes, 
and 
whispers, "My child, my child. 
You're clean now, and if you let 
me, I will keep you that way. 
Remember, I love you no 
matter what." Jesus, knowing 
He still can't trust me with 
temptation in reach, embraces me anyway. 
And all is right in my world again.
When does Jesus forgive us? While we are 
still sinners.
How often? Every single time.
* * * * *
"Therefore, since we have been justified 
through faith, we have peace with God 
through our Lord Jesus Christ. 
But God 
demonstrates his own love for us in this: 
while we are still sinners, Christ died for us" 
(Romans 5:1, 8). ^
Reporter - Suzanne Current
Reporter - Laura Kelley
Reporter - Carrie Purkeypile
Reporter - Nathaniel Salzman
Arts Editor - Brandon Horniachek
Fashion/Beauty Co-Editor - Stephanie Carlile
Fashion/Beauty Co-Editor - Nicole Onjukka
Health/Wellness Editor - April Nielsen
Living Editor - Cassie Milnes
Religion Editor - Seth Pierce
Sports Editor • Jared Gibson 
USaidlt Editor • Larissa Caskey 
Advice Columnist - Ceri Myers 
Freshman Columnist - Michael Paradise 
Microlab Columnist - Israel Knight 
Worldview Columnist - Gina Wahlen 
Not-so-Blonde Review - Heather Kampf 
Not-so-Blonde Review - Jessica Robison 
Sponsor - Andy Nash
And the Contestants Are... Students Run for ASB Office
Suzanne-Current
Jessica Casebolt, Pauline Deeb, Daniel 
Murauskas, 
Nicole 
Onjukka, 
Marsha 
Steiner; Tom Fraga, Stephanie Vercio, and 
Mike Young are running for ASB office. In 
an effort to let the Student body know 
more about the candidates, the Clocktower 
interviewed each one.
Q; What are your qualifications for ASB 
President?
Jessica Casebolt has goals, willpower, 
and the heart to do a good job. She helped 
with her high school publication, and she 
was editor of her grade school yearbook. 
Jessica also was a senior class sponsor and 
planned their class trip and graduation.
Pauline Deeb is Junior Class President, 
Co-President of Communications club, the 
honors committee junior representative, 
and the senator of fourth west. She was 
class president her sophomore and junior 
years of high school
Q; How will you represent the Student Body?
Jessica is responsive to people's needs. 
She will be objective to student views and 
opinions. She is outgoing concerning 
issues that matter.
Pauline talks to a wide variety of 
students with different cultures and 
backgrounds, which helps her to know 
what they want. She wants the student 
body to feel comfortable enough to come 
to ASB officers with problems. "It's all 
about a positive outlook/
Q: What are your plans for ASB?
Jessica hopes to lead the way in making 
the campus more people friendly and 
open for everyone. She wants the campus 
to have 'a strong Christian environment, * 
strong enough so even the community will 
know. The students will be able to 'smile 
and make eye contact/ When they 
graduate, students will be prepared 'to go 
out into the world and make it a better 
place/ She wants to give the campus a 
home environment, a home away from
home that welcomes everybody.
Pauline 
plans 
to 
build 
a 
safe 
community within the school and to have 
a reputation in the outside community. 
She wants 'a safe community where fun 
and love are incorporated. One to help 
others and that isn't exclusive/
Q: What are your qualifications for ASB 
Executive VP?
Daniel Murauskas has been on the 
Senate for three semesters. 
He has 
experience working with committees. He 
is 
also 
familiar with 
parliamentary 
procedures.
Q: What are your plans for Senate?
Daniel doesn't have plans to push 
through the Senate. He will let the 
Senators decide what needs to be pushed. 
He is looking forward to the possibility of 
working with the ASB officers.
Q: What are your qualifications for Financial 
VP?
Stephanie Vercio is a junior accounting 
and finance major. She has worked with 
ASB this year and has talked to Mike 
Mewhirter about how things are run. She 
also had an internship with a Florida 
Hospital Heartland Division this summer.
Mike Young is a sophomore accounting 
major. When he balances his checkbook, 
he has found places where the bank was 
wrong.
Q: What are your qualifications for Social VP?
Tom Fraga was a band secretary and 
helped set up for concerts in high school. 
He was a peer leader. He also planned and 
organized Sabbath School to help the 
youth pastor.
Nicole Onjukka was the Vice President of 
her Senior class and President of the Girls 
Dorm Club in high school. She planned the 
class trip and all the social events for the girls 
club. She is the sophomore representative of 
the honors committee and treasurer of the 
Education Club.
Marsha Steiner was Social VP at Platte Valley 
Academy. She has 'soul/ She is school spirit 
in a nutshell and we should 'crack her 
open.'
Q: Do you have a theme you will emphasize next 
year? (Like 'It's all about U")
Tom doesn't want to be bored on Saturday 
night. He doesn't want students to wonder 
'what do we do now?' He always wants 
'somethin' goin' on.'
Nicole doesn't have a slogan, she just 
wants to emphasize 'creativity, togetherness, 
and love.'
Marsha cited Zechariah 8:5—'The city 
streets will be filled with boys and girls 
playing in its streets.'
Q; What Saturday night activities are you 
planning on doing?
Tom wants to keep ice skating. He doesn't 
know what everybody wants, so he will try a 
poll to see what activities the students want 
to do.
Nicole wants to add a Mega Marathon 
between the classes, which is an outdoor 
activities challenge that will help a class get 
to know each other. She also wants to add 
The Fugitive--a game where ASB officers and 
faculty hide and teams have to find them 
(winners would be based on points). Nicole 
is also planning the Golden Squirrel, an 
implement 
she would only call a new 
tradition that she wants to start. Nicole wants 
to keep ice skating, but she also wants to 
explore new opportunities: roller skating and 
rhythmical movements.
Marsha wants to have the Hillbilly 
Olympics, Power Ball 2000, and Junk 
Scramble. And she said there's more where 
that came from,
Statistics Show Binge Drinking at Union Lower
than Area Colleges
Specific 
professional 
statistics 
for 
alcohol consumption at Union College 
have been reported. The average alcohol 
consumption level at Union is much lower 
than 
other 
area 
colleges. 
But 
administration remains concerned for 
those who are involved.
Research was done last spring on all five 
college campuses in Lincoln, Concordia, 
UNL, Lincoln School of Commerce, 
Wesleyan, and Union. The Buffalo Beach 
Research Company polled 213 Union 
students of different ethnic backgrounds 
to find what they knew about the extent of 
alcohol usage in Union ranks. 
One 
question asked the participants if, during 
the last ninety days they had consumed 4- 
5 drinks of alcohol in one sitting. This 
constitutes 
as 
binge 
drinking. 
Apporoximately 
85.9% 
of 
Union 
participants said they had not binged in 
the past ninety days, compared to the 
57.1% no-binge response from other
Lincoln campuses. 
However, 4.9% of 
Unionites had binged nine or more times 
in the past 90 days.
Dr. Linda Wysong, Vice President for 
Student Services, expresses concern about 
the two major health risks of alcohol: 
binge drinking and driving under the 
influence. 
While 186 students reported 
never having ridden with a driver under 
the influence within the past 90 days, 27 
Unionites had done so. "This is the part 
that scares me," says Dr. Wysong. "That's 
27 too many."
Union College scored considerably 
lower than other Lincoln schools in the 
percentages of alcohol usage, and students 
generally 
agree 
that 
the 
campus 
atmosphere does not promote drinking. 
But for the few that thought differently, 
Union is concerned. 
Union's policy 
on alcohol or drug use is redemptive. If 
drug use is detected Union refers students 
to the Independence Center for rehab.
Following the treatment prescribed there, 
students are welcome to stay at Union. "We 
want to see students succeed in school and 
in life," says Dr. Wysong.
Student Services is currently planning a 
special assembly to inform students of the 
campus statistics. They also plan to institute 
an educational program to show how 
concerned students can talk to friends about 
drugs or alcohol.
Editor's Note: This is a follow up article to one 
published in Issue 6 (December 5) about 
substance abuse at Union. This article showed 
that Union students believed 18% of their 
classmates had used drugs and alcohol within 
the past year. The Clocktower has published this 
information in an effort to raise awareness about 
the problem and be a forum for solutions. ^
Who Will U Vote For?
Word from the Religion Editor
Word from the
Religion
o
 
i— 
| •
Editor
By Seth Pierce
Discoveries From 
The Campus Ministries Office
\Seth Pierce__________________________
1. There is now a fund for Lorilee 
Ross's wedding in the CM office. 
Come on down, give a quarter.
2. Jonas is bored and needs to get 
involved with an exercise program.
3. Daisy works only two hours a 
week. We miss Daisy!
4. March 25-28 will be Student Week 
of Prayer ... Stay tuned
"If you do not stand firm in your faith, 
you will not stand at all" (Isaiah 7:9, 
NIV).
When 
I was little trying (and 
I 
emphasize trying) to learn karate from my 
dad, we always spent considerable time 
on stance. It seemed like hours of just 
standing there, trying to get my feet the 
right space apart, my feet facing the right 
direction, my knees bent—but not too 
much or too little. It was boring. I wanted 
to kick and punch and fly around; but no, 
we always had to work on stance. It was 
interesting, however, because even though 
my stance looked correct, my dad could 
come and sweep my feet gently and I 
would fall. I wasn't planted. I wasn't firm. 
As a result I fell every time, until I got it 
right.
In our Christian walk it is so important 
to be firmly planted in Jesus Christ. And 
by this I mean we need to know why we
are different from the world. It isn't enough 
to say, "Because my parents, church, or Ellen 
White says so, "we need to have reasons and 
be rooted. And roots go deep. I encourage 
you to study your beliefs and to develop 
arguments for why you think the way you 
do. There will be times in your life when the 
world will try to sweep you off your feet. It 
won't matter if you look like a Christian; 
unless you are a Christian and know why 
you are one, you will fall every time.
This 
world 
doesn't 
need 
anymore 
answerless Christians who can't explain 
what they do, or worse yet, can't explain why 
they love Jesus. This world needs testifying 
Christians full of the Holy Spirit and 
wisdom. So open your Bibles every day, pray 
for grace every day, and be ready to stand 
every day. Anything worth doing is worth 
doing well. And anything worth standing for 
is worth standing for firmly. ^
Parables and Stories
I ^om Signs of the Times, June, 1993, pg. 11
Tennessee Williams tells a story of 
someone who forgot the story of Jacob 
Brodzky, a shy Russian Jew whose father 
owned a bookstore. The older Brodzky 
wanted his son to go to college. The boy, 
on the other hand, desired nothing but to 
marry Lila, his childhood sweetheart a 
French girl as effusive, vital, and ambitious 
as he was contemplative and retiring.
A couple of months after young 
Brodzky went to college, his father fell ill 
and died. The son returned home, buried 
his father, and married his love. Then the 
couple moved into the apartment above 
the bookstore, and Brodzky took over its 
management.
The life of books fit him perfectly, but it 
cramped her. She wanted more adventure 
and she found it, she thought, when she 
met an agent who praised her beautiful 
singing voice and enticed her to tour 
Europe with 
a vaudeville company. 
Brodzky was devastated. At their parting, 
he reached into his pocket and handed her 
the key to the front door of the bookstore.
"You had better keep this," he told her,
"because you will want it some day. Your 
love is not so much less than mine that 
you can get away from it. You will come 
back sometime, and I will be waiting." She 
kissed him and left. To escape the pain he 
felt, Brodzky withdrew deep into his 
bookstore and took to reading as someone 
else might have taken to drink. He spoke 
little, did little, and could most times be 
found at the large desk near the rear of the 
shop, immersed in his books while he 
waited for his love to return.
Nearly 15 years after they parted, at 
Christmastime, she did return. But when 
Brodzky rose from the reading desk that 
had been his place of escape for all that 
time, he did not take the love of his life for 
more than an ordinary customer. "Do you 
want a book?" he asked.
That he didn't recognize her startled her. 
But she gained possession of herself and 
replied, "I want a book, but I've forgotten 
the name of it." Then she told him a story 
of childhood sweethearts. A story of a 
newly married couple who lived in an 
apartment above a bookstore. A story of a 
young, ambitious wife who left to seek a 
career, who enjoyed great success but 
could 
never relinquish the key her
husband gave her when they parted. She 
told him the story she thought would bring 
him to himself.
But his face showed no recognition. 
Gradually she realized that he had lost 
touch with his heart's desire, that he no 
longer knew the purpose of his waiting and 
grieving, that now all he remembered was 
the waiting and grieving itself. 
"You 
remember it; you must remember it the 
story of Lila and Jacob?"
After a long, bewildered pause, he said, 
"There is something familiar about the 
story, I think I have read it somewhere. It 
comes to me that it is something by Tolstoi." 
Dropping the key, she fled the shop. And 
Brodzky returned to his desk, to his reading, 
unaware that the love he waited for had 
come and gone.
Tennessee 
Williams's 
1931 
story 
"Something by Tolstoi" reminds me how 
easy it is to miss love when it comes. Either 
something so distracts us or we have so 
completely lost who we are and what we 
care about that we cannot recognize our 
heart's desire. ^
Memories of a PK (Preacher’s Kid): Gray Patties
Seth Pierce_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Yes, welcome to my new column where 
I reflect on many of the spastic and 
untimely adventures I brought upon my 
church, my parents, and myself. This 
issue's episode is called "The Truth Will Set 
You Free."
My father (the pastor) and his family 
(my mom and I) had been invited to a 
church members' house for dinner. They 
were people who had experience with 
pastoral families. They were people who 
were solidly planted in the Lord after years 
of experience. They were people who the 
church respected. In other words, they 
were old people.
I was roughly six years old, 3 ft. 7 
inches, 60 pounds, and had a great love for 
Showbiz pizza. I would find no such 
victuals at this meeting place of the elderly. 
It was bad enough having to "amuse 
myself" while my parents visited with their 
parishioners. How was I supposed to 
"amuse myself'' in a strange house that 
had no toys? It was dire agony for two 
hours while my parents sprightly chatted 
the late afternoon away. I wandered
aimlessly, my stomach growling because 
of my imaginations exertion while I 
searched for something to do. Finally it 
was suppertime.
I sat impatiently on my yellow pages 
phone book which kept me at chin level 
with the adults at the dining table. All the 
side dishes looked wonderfully and 
amazingly subnormal and I prayed that 
the main course would offer a better 
prospect of feeding my little gullet.
Well . . . Well . . . Well, here's what 
happened.
A hot pan full of vegetarian gray patties 
was set before us. In reality they were 
oatmeal patties, but I called them gray 
because that was their color and these 
particular patties at this particular house 
tasted gray. Is that possible? In short, yes. 
If gray had a taste it would definitely taste 
like these foul patties.
My father popped one into his mouth 
and chewed . . . and chewed . . . and 
chewed. I think his eyes were tearing, but 
yet he blessed the marvelous patties. My 
mother was next to follow suit and
gingerly placed a piece of patty in her mouth 
after seeing my dad's delight. The look on my 
mom's face? Joy unspeakable. Truly, because 
she had a large grin on her face, but couldn't 
speak, or make sound for that matter. Now it 
was my turn.
People love little children for their 
honesty, but apparently my parents weren't 
people at the time because the punishment I 
got for what came out of my mouth hurt my 
backside for weeks. I took a bite out of my 
gray patty. Two things came out of my 
mouth.
The first thing that came out of my mouth 
was mushed up vegetarian gray patty, and the 
second was a glorious declaration of the 
truth that now burned within me: "THIS 
TASTES LIKE COW PIE!" Amen. I actually 
declared it, aloud. Deep down I think my 
parents appreciated my truth telling because 
they could now leave the table to punish me, 
and rinse their mouths out in the bathroom 
at the same time. Ah yes, such a fond 
memory, iL
Diary of a Homesick Girl:
On A Snowy Evening
I'm playing in the snow. I romp, 
frolic, and cavort with childish 
abandon. Tackling and chasing my 
friends, I shout and sing. I flop 
down to create a snow angel. 
Bounding 
up, 
I 
race 
around, 
howling and hooting. My friends 
hurl snow boulders at me as I 
crouch behind a tree. Raising my 
head to stick out my tongue, I taste 
the air. Snow is fun.
I'm walking in the snow. My 
senses awash with crystal beauty, I 
notice every lacy branch and laden 
bough. Grey mounded shadows 
form in hollows and behind ridges, 
startling in their clarity. Snow 
hushes sound as it drifts about me. 
A breeze rushes by. The flakes waltz 
on the wind. Shimmering as they 
catch 
and reflect light, the flakes
bathe 
the 
landscape 
in 
an 
otherworldly glow, like cathedral 
windows stained with light. Snow is 
holy.
As I peel myself out of my sticky 
snowsuit, I think about what I just 
did. I want to always live like that. I 
want to live with riotous joy and 
quiet wonder. I want to savor the 
moments of fun, participating and 
encouraging them, dancing to the 
music of the blood in my ears. I 
want to hallow the moments of 
wonder, observing and delighting in 
them, singing with the music of the 
stars above.
College Life Is Like a Donut
Michael Paradise________________________________________
I stepped outside to face a cold and 
abrasive wind. I had a perilous walk ahead 
of me, but it gave me comfort to know that 
there were scores of pilgrims progressing 
with me. As I marched into a headwind of 
choices and responsibility, 
my pace 
slowed. But I was determined to make it 
through the weather and reach my goals. 
Next, an opaque cloud of fog settled over 
my path, bringing with it doubt and 
separation from my comrades. Where was 
this troupe that had started the voyage 
with me? I put it out of my mind and cut 
my way through the doubt. Things started 
to get easier as I got further down the road. 
The sun stretched over the hills, crevasses, 
boulders, and hedges, and I could see the 
obstacles in my way.
I hope that the freshmen are catching 
my symbolism, because I'm laying it on 
pretty thick! It is about time that you 
started evaluating your year, whether 
you're "Fresh meat" or a "Senior citizen."
What kind of analogies would you attach 
to your experience at Union College?
Aaron Purkeypile, freshman, put it this 
way: "I feel like a minnow in a sea full of 
sharks—a.k.a. WOMEN!" Ouch, sounds 
like he's been bitten before.
Another student (who wishes to remain 
anonymous 
due 
to 
his 
comment's 
triviality) wrapped it up like this: "My year 
can be likened to a jelly-filled donut I 
don't remember the rest, but I wish it was 
custard." This statement may appear to be 
dumb, useless, or even shallow, but maybe 
someone can find some sense in it. (By the 
way, any useless comments made in this 
segment are not necessarily opinions 
supported by the Clocktower staff.)
But why would someone take the time 
to analyze what has happened in the past? 
Well, when someone earnestly tries to find 
their faults in the past, they are less likely 
to commit them in the future. For instance, 
I have vowed to stay away from several
harmful activities due to 
the atrocious results of my 
brush with them in the 
past.
A few examples: I will never again refer 
to Ron Dodds' dog as "chubby." I will 
never again cower behind a Rees Hall 
couch to dodge Mrs. Carr's wrath at 11:02. 
I will never again challenge the authority 
of Andrew, the "Cafe Nazi." (Cafe Nazi 
refers to the "Soup Nazi" shown in TV's 
Seinfeld).
I have evaluated past mistakes in order 
to correct them. I am left with one more 
analogy. This one is more powerful than 
you can imagine. This one speaks truth. 
This one grants wisdom. (This one may be 
overrated.)
"My college existence is most similar to 
an episode of Survivor: I get very little 
sleep, and all they feed me is rice!"
MP *
*New Donors....
Earn$70 
ThisWeek And Up To $280 TtusMonth
By Donating Plasma
*Must have legal identification along with proof of local residency
No Appointment Necessary... 
Walk-in's Welcome
500 DONORS 
NEEDED NOW!
My Quarter Life Crisis
Cassie. Milnes_________________
It was the most tragic day of my life— 
not counting the time I failed my driver's 
test. 
But back to the present. This last 
December I reached an apex in my life, 
one which all of you either have faced or 
will face some time in the near future: I 
turned 20. I know that to many this might 
not sound so old, but to me it seemed 
awful.
Turning 20 was so paralyzing, partly 
because I felt trapped between childhood 
and adulthood. 
Now that I am 20, it 
seems as though the expectations I should 
meet have changed. 
I am not sure I can 
meet these new expectations, however, 
because I feel no different than I did at 19. 
For example, gone are the days of playing 
pranks: leaving flaming bags of manure on 
the guys' staff cabin doorstep at summer 
camp, toilet papering people's cars, and 
dropping water balloons on random
I don't know if anyone has been outside 
lately, but it's cold. I thought I could 
hold back winter by wearing flip flops 
around campus through February, but I've 
finally succumbed to the weather. I had to. 
My toes started to hurt.
I'm not sure how to keep certain parts of 
the body warm, either. No, not those parts 
. . . PERVERTS! My ears are cold all the 
time. I don't know how to fix that. My 
nose shivers now, and I always seem to 
find my teeth chattering. However, I have 
found a way to keep my neck warm that 
many of you may not know about. It's 
called a scarf.
Now, you may be saying to yourself, 
"Self. Scarves are kinda expensive, and I 
can't bring myself to spend that much 
money on a skinny piece of fabric." Well, 
that brings me to the subject of this article.
I go through phases of interest. I get into 
something, and then a few months, weeks, 
or days later my interest fizzles away, and 
all that money I put into my underwater 
basket weaving equipment has gone down 
the drain. Once, I ate honey incessantly. I 
would carry packets of the sweet sticky 
amber liquid around in my pocket and
passersby from the fourth floor of the 
dorm.
Birthdays are memorable when you're 
a kid (even if your birthday does take place 
in the thick of Minnesota's blizzard 
season). My mom's fondest memory is of 
her sixth birthday when her parents 
presented her with a "Roy Rogers" cowboy 
outfit complete with 
pearl 
handled 
"revolvers." When you turn 20, you don't 
get cowboy costumes anymore. 
You 
receive useful gifts like toasters and 
underwear. 
Granted, these are things 
what you need and appreciate, but at the 
same time, these presents are kind of 
depressing because they remind you of 
your involuntary onslaught of maturity.
I finally understand why my mom 
always used to say, "Cass, for goodness 
sakes, must you advertise my age?" I know 
how she feels. To add insult to injury, I
suck on them during class to pass the time. 
When I discovered Harry Potter, I read all 
four books in less than three weeks (one 
book 1 finished in 2 days). And though I've 
never been to a Star Trek convention, I was 
a trekkie once. I owned action figures and 
t-shirts, and I even owned a pin that when 
tapped would say, "One to beam up." I'm 
also sad to admit that yes, once I did own 
83 beanie babies. However, before you 
judge me and think I'm a total dork, let me 
tell you about my next phase. It's a great 
one. It's pretty darn hard-core, and don't 
knock it till you try it. Crocheting.
Now, I know what you're thinking. How 
is crocheting hard core? How can yarn be 
exciting? Well, if you were involved with a 
hobby that is near the verge of solving 
every major world problem, you'd be 
excited about yarn too.
First, crocheting scarves is an amazing 
and inexpensive way to keep your neck 
warm. Why pay $20 for that thin piece of 
fabric, when you can make it yourself for 
$3?
Though this skill may be useless where 
I'm from, it can be very handy when living 
in Nebraska. Crocheting can be interesting
spent my twentieth birthday 
chauffeuring my sister, who 
still has free access to the 
fountain of youth, Christmas 
shopping. 
I was paying for 
our fast food lunch when the fresh faced boy 
behind the cash register asked, "Would you 
like some pop with that, ma'am?" It was like 
he knew that I had suddenly become as old 
as the hills. My eyes welled and my lower lip 
quivered as I asked him, "Do I really look 
that old?" The poor kid apologized profusely 
and assured me that no, I did not look old 
enough to be his mother. 
Somewhat 
consoled, I resumed shopping.
In relation to getting older, though, I like 
something that a good friend of mine once 
told me. He said that to him, each birthday 
is just another anniversary of his nineteenth 
year. Amen to that.
to anyone if it is used in 
the 
right 
context.
Hardened 
criminals, 
terrorists, and the extremely violent can find 
pleasure in crocheting through its use of 
hooks. The pastime is deceptively docile and 
appears harmless, but any hobby that uses 
metal objects and materials that can be used 
to restrain individuals must be hard-core.
Christians, and other pacifists, can also 
find pleasure in crocheting to help curb 
boredom during sermons that make cliched 
September 11 references. Males of all types 
can also discover the benefits of crocheting. 
Jocks and the testosterone-filled can use 
crocheting to show off their sensitive sides, 
and those that are less suave will be 
constantly surrounded by girls if they take up 
the art. I'm convinced that would be 
motivation enough.
Crochet! Get hooked! You too can be 
hard-core and keep those certain parts 
warm. ^
Crochet: A Hard-Core Hobby
[John Rivera________________________________________
I’m Blue, What Do I Do?
Your Winter Blah’s Could be a Sign of Something More Serious
April Nielsen________
Gray. The sky, 
the 
horizon, 
and 
Nebraska's entire prairie landscape are 
colored in that one blasE shade. Buildings, 
cars, and even people begin to take on the 
dull hue of winter. Gray is the color of a 
typical day during the winter months in 
the Midwest. When this time of year 
comes, it seems like the sad color of nature 
crawls inside humans. How can a season 
have such an effect on people?
There are a variety of explanations for 
the reason that people tend to feel worse 
during the winter months. The most 
general reason for the winter blues is the 
lack of sunlight and short days. Some 
doctors say that humans have a tendency 
to act a bit like hibernating animals in the 
winter months. We do not sleep all winter, 
but the tendency to crave extra sleep and to 
eat heavier meals is increased in humans 
during the winter.
A more classified type of blues are the 
"holiday blues." This form of depression 
usually begins with the stress of the 
holiday season. It can begin as early as 
Thanksgiving and extend through New 
Year's and even beyond. With the added 
pressure of holiday get-togethers and 
family interactions, stress levels tend to 
climb. 
Even 
stressors 
like 
the 
commercialism of the holidays and gift­
buying can add to the depression. The 
holiday season can also be a time where 
sad memories from the past are triggered. 
This type of depression can be confused 
with a seasonal disorder, but usually will 
pass with the end of the stressful holiday 
season.
Winter depression can become more 
serious than simply feeling down during 
those dull colorless days; it has been 
classified as a disorder. Seasonal Affective 
Disorder, or SAD, is something that effects 
around 
10 
million 
people 
a 
year. 
Symptoms of SAD include not being able 
to sleep at night and not being able to 
wake up in the morning at a normal time. 
Doctors say that people with SAD do not 
have the natural rhythm that signals the 
body to perform its normal sleeping and 
waking tasks. It is thought that the 
problem is with the pineal gland—the 
body's light-sensing gland.
The pineal gland responds to lessening 
light by secreting the hormone melatonin, 
which tells the body that it is time to rest. 
In the same manner, daylight tells the 
pineal gland to shut off the melatonin and 
to wake up. People who have SAD may 
have trouble concentrating, 
may be 
depressed, and may even contemplate 
suicide.
The solution to this disorder is fairly 
simple. It is to get more sunlight. Studies 
have shown that morning light is the best 
for sufferers of SAD. Doctors say that 
people should try to receive light earlier 
than they are use to. For instance, if you 
normally rise at 8:30, then get up at 7:00 
and take a walk. There are also light 
therapy devices that can be purchased to 
help the body feel like it is receiving 
sunlight. They are usually in the form of a 
light box or light visor. Before purchasing 
something like this it is important to make 
sure that the device has been thoroughly
checked for safety and 
effectiveness. SAD is 
not something that 
should be diagnosed 
independently 
because 
some
treatments, such as 
light therapy can be dangerous if you do 
not have SAD.
Is there a solution to the blues? There 
does not seem to be a soild solution to 
SAD, but there are many things that can be 
done 
to 
ease 
SAD 
symptoms 
and 
remember: spring is on its way.
Ways to Ease the Winter Blues
1. 
Exercise. Doctors say that exercise is 
one of the best ways to fight depression. 
Even if your exercise is just a 10 minute 
walk, exercise will make you feel better.
2. 
Get out of town! A road trip is a great 
way to change the scenery and rejuvenate.
3. 
Think Ahead. Mentally prepare in 
advance for times of the year that will be 
stressful, like the holidays or final exams.
4. 
Find the sun. When there are days the 
sun is shining, take advantage. Take extra 
breaks to be out in the sun or turn your 
desk toward a sunny window when you 
can.
5. 
Use color therapy. For some people 
color can make all the difference. Wear 
happy bright colors, redecorate your room 
or work space and add colors that make 
you feel alive. There are no secret colors, 
do what makes you feel snazzy. ^
QUML: My Veggie-Beef with Acronyms
Israel Knight 
w 
w
1/sroe/ Knight
lol, wrrwiwwT? fyi, idk.*
I ask you this: Does that in any way 
resemble anything intelligible? No, it 
doesn't. Does it look like something a cat 
would type as it scampered across the 
keyboard? Yes, it does. Acronyms: The 
Final Frontier. They're slowly but surely 
turning our beautifully twisted illogical 
English language, into beautifully twisted 
illogical strings of capital letters. Is this 
good, or bad? Acronyms do allow one to 
convey entire concepts in a much smaller 
amount of time. Unfortunately, they can
also confuse people who don't ________
know what these strings of capital 
letters mean. Then again, that 
principle can be useful in itself.
For example, have you ever 
heard a conversation between two 
computer techs working on your 
computer? Ever wonder what the 
heck they were saying? Ever have 
the distinct impression that they 
were talking about you? If you keep 
on hearing a word that sounds like "Peb- 
ca"(spelled PEBCAK) . . . Well, yeah, they 
were. The PEBCAK error is actually one of 
the most common problems in the 
computer world. Error: Problem Exists 
Between Chair And Keyboard. This is also 
the case if they mention that there's an "ID 
ten T" on your system. (Write that out on 
paper.) 
In this case, the acronym's 
obscurity is a good thing, unlike our next 
example.
Which happens to be "LOL." Just about 
every online chatter knows that this stands 
for "Laughing out Loud." It's a rather 
simple acronym, right? Apparently not. I 
once chatted to this girl online for about 
an hour, and found out afterwards that she 
thought I had a desperate crush on her. 
She apparently assumed that LOL meant
"Lots of Love." I suppose it would look 
funny if this weird guy you just met was 
sending you "lots of love" every few lines. 
On a positive note, at least she didn't think 
I was a hippy. (Feel the "LOL," man.) And 
on an even more positive note, she started 
talking to me again after a little over two 
years.
On top of all this, we have acronyms we 
don't even know the true meaning to. Such 
as:
IBM = "1 Blame Microsoft."
Imagine walking down the street 
and hearing choruses of “LOL’s” or 
saying “BRB G2G” to your friends.
CD-ROM = "Consumer Device, Rendered 
Obsolete in Months."
WWW = "World Wide Wait."
APPLE = "Arrogance Produces Erroneous 
Numbers 
Through 
Incorrect 
Understanding of Mathematics."
Windows = "Will Install Needless Data On 
Whole System."
And finally, PCMCIA actually means 
"People 
Can't 
Memorize 
Computer 
Industry Acronyms." (For real.)
My main veggie-beef with acronyms is 
that I'm afraid they'll start replacing more 
and more of our language. Imagine 
walking down the street and hearing 
choruses of "LOL's" or saying "BRB G2G" 
to your friends. This would get worse as 
the acronyms started evolving into even
more unrecognizable forms, such as 
ROTFLRH S HIFTID AWBIASGNTRTSTLO D 
A. * * Let's just say it's something that you 
only say when you've seen the most 
hilarious 
thing 
you 
could 
possibly 
imagine. (For example, this would be an 
appropriate response if I showed you my 
paycheck.)
The over usage of acronyms is reaching 
dangerous levels. It's true they can be 
useful for shortening common phrases. It's 
just that the overusage of them 
generally causes chaos (or laughing). 
We definitely need to be very careful 
about acronym exploitation. While 
typing 
this, 
someone 
I 
know 
mentioned to me that there should 
be a foundation created to monitor 
this problem. He suggested it could 
be called "Citizens Against Acronyms 
Exploitation 
Without
Representation"—CAAEWR for short. 
Funny. Real funny. LOL. 
£
* "Laughing out Loud, What in the World 
is Wrong with This? For Your Information, 
I Don't Know."
** "Rolling on the Floor Laughing Really 
Hard, so Hard in Fact that I Died and was 
Buried in a Shallow Grave Never to Return 
to See the Light of Day Again." (Don't 
blame me, I didn't invent it.
A Window On My World6/nolVoWen
The atmosphere in the stadium was 
stunningly electric—never in the history of 
the Olympic Games had the opening 
ceremonies been charged up with so much 
patriotism, so much emotion. Chants of 
"U.SA! U.S.A.!" rocked the stadium as the 
home team made its grand entrance onto 
the Olympic track in Salt Lake City.
Dressed in trendy blue team uniforms, 
with jaunty blue berets, the American team 
smiled and waved at the frenzied crowd. 
While the crowd cheered their all-American 
team, what they didn't realize was that their 
team wasn't really all-American—at least 
what they were wearing wasn't. Stitched in 
red lettering across the right breast of every 
athlete's uniform were the letters: "ROOTS."
ROOTS is a well-established Canadian 
firm that has developed uniforms for the 
Canadian Olympic Team for several games. 
This year ROOTS was proud to also design 
team outfits for the American and British 
Olympic Teams.
While most Americans recognize the 
Maple Leaf as a symbol of Canada, many 
know little more about their nearby 
neighbor to the North.
"It's the most beautiful place on Earth," 
remarks Brenda Heinrich, a freshman pre­
physical therapy major at Union. Brenda 
was bom in Oshawa, Ontario, on January. 
21,1983. She lived in Canada for three years 
before moving to Abidjan, Ivory Coast, with 
her parents, two older sisters, and brother. 
While living in Africa, Brenda remembers 
going on many family outings into the 
various villages where her father would 
preach. "Little kids would run up to me and 
touch my face because they had never seen 
a white person before," recalls Brenda.
When she was 7, Brenda and her family 
moved to Lincoln, Nebraska, where her 
parents took refresher college courses for 
two years at Union College, and Brenda 
attended grades 2 and 3 at the Helen Hyatt
S.D.A. School. "My first real memory of the 
snow was here at Union, and I loved it!" 
Good thing, because after two winters of 
"snow preparation" the Heinrich family 
returned to Canada 
Here Brenda would 
spend the next 9 years of her life in 
Lacombe, Alberta, approximately 100 km 
south of Edmonton—home of the world's 
largest shopping mall.
In addition to occasionally going to the 
West Edmonton Mall, Brenda enjoyed the 
weekly high school hockey games at the 
Lacombe ice arena. And of course she took 
every opportunity possible to go skiing in 
the most beautiful place on Earth—Banff 
and Jasper National Parks.
But what Brenda misses most about 
Canada is the people. "I love the people," 
she says. "They're all really caring and nice 
and most of them will got out of their way 
to do anything for you."
Apparently, much of the world agrees 
with Brenda's love for Canada and its 
people. The 
United 
Nations 
Human 
Development Report (1995-2000), stated 
that "Canada's overall quality of life makes 
it the best country in the world in which to
live." And in the past 150 years, more than 
14 million people have immigrated to 
Canada, with about 16 percent of the 
nearly 30 million people who live there 
today being first-generation immigrants.
Charmaine Guarin, a freshman business 
major at Union, fits into this category. 
Charmaine immigrated to Canada from the 
Philippines with her family when she was 
just nine months old. Moving to Toronto, 
Charmy grew up in a multi-cultural 
environment, where the Filipino language 
was spoken at home and English spoken at 
school and other public places. "Some of 
my earliest memories are being with my 
grandmother," recalls Charmy. "My parents 
didn't want to send me to day care, so I 
went to my grandmother's. I remember 
reading, learning—it was basically a school 
for me, before I went to Canadian school."
Both Brenda and Charmy reflect on the 
differences they have noticed between 
education in the U.S. and in Canada. Both 
agree that school is harder in Canada. "In a 
lot of ways, my freshman year has been a 
review of high school," says Brenda.
C h a r m y 
explains 
that 
students hoping 
to attend university in Ontario first have to 
take OAC (Ontario Academic Credit) courses 
during their final year of high school. "You 
have to have advanced-level courses in a 
number 
of subjects, 
such 
as Algebra, 
Calculus, English, and so on before you are 
allowed into university."
Another aspect of American life that 
Brenda and Charmy have noticed is the 
apparent lack of knowledge or interest that 
Americans carry toward other countries. 
"Americans don't know anything about us, 
but we know everything about them," says 
Brenda. "We had to study American history. 
And we studied a lot about other countries, 
such as Greece, and Russia...."
"Other countries know a lot about 
America," adds Charmy, "but Americans 
don't seem to know much about any other 
country. It's very surprising ... I mean, we're 
just across the border. It's not like we're 
across the sea, and yet most people don't 
know what the capitol of Canada is or how 
many provinces and territories there are."
"Americans are all different," says Brenda. 
"People on the West Coast tend to be more,.
. .well . . . they think highly of themselves. 
The Midwest, they tend to be much nicer 
people, and people from the south are great.
I love people from the South. They have
fantastic accents_____They are all so patriotic.
Americans are so much in love with their 
country .... I mean, some Canadians don't 
even know the words to [our] national 
anthem,
How much do YOU know about Canada? 
Take this quiz to find out.
1. What is the capitol city of the country of 
Canada, and in what province is it located?
2. Describe the Canadian flag.
3. How many provinces and territories are in 
Canada?
4. What is the name of Canada's newest 
territory and where is it located?
5. What are the three largest cities in Canada?
6. In what province is the city of Victoria 
located?
7. Where does Canada rank in a list of the 
world's largest countries (by land mass)?
8. How many national parks are in Canada?
9. What is the "St. Lawrence?"
10. What are the two official languages of 
Canada?
To find out the answers to these and other 
fascinating Canadian facts, just locate your 
nearest friendly Canadian. Or you could log 
on to www.communication.gc.ca/facts.
Ask Answer Girl
Dear Answer Girl,
There's this girl... And she's completely 
amazing, and everything about her is 
beautiful—she's 
brilliant, 
she's 
multitalented, she's genuine and she has a 
Godly heart.
Everything I've said so far is great. Here's 
where it starts to get sticky:
I've got a female friend who has been 
on-and-off interested in me for as long as I 
can remember. Now, as it turns out, this 
longtime friend is the new interest's 
roommate. The friend is, in a word, 
jealous. 
She notices 
and scrutinizes 
anything I do with the girl I'm interested 
in. There's no way I could ever date the 
friend. How blunt do I have to be to help 
her realize that fact? Also, does the "girl 
code" still apply when the guy specifically 
says, "I'm not interested"?
About the other girl, I'm feeling there's 
mutual interest, but I'm not sure she 
realizes I'm interested because of her 
friend's interference.
How do I make this information readily 
available? Or do I steer dear altogether?
—Puzzled
Dear Puzzled,
I think you realize the delicacy of the 
situation you have on your hands. There 
are all sorts of friendships at stake, 
including one between women who have 
to live together. However, your situation is 
not hopeless. On the contrary, it sounds 
very workable. Here is my suggested plan 
of action:
1. Find out if the girl you like is really 
interested in you. Let her know you're 
interested by smiling, making eye contact 
and conversation, and inviting her to do 
things with you and your friends. Positive 
responses are a good sign, and feeling that 
there might be mutual interest is great but 
can only keep a relationship going for so 
long. If the relationship is going to go 
anywhere, a little talking is usually
necessary to make sure you're on the same 
page.
2. Talk to the roommate. Let her know that 
you appreciate her friendship, but that it 
needs to be only that . . . friendship. Be 
sensitive, but be honest. Leaving her with 
false hopes may make you feel like less of 
a bad guy. 
Leaving the situation 
unresolved, however, is ultimately much 
worse. I'm not sure about a so-called "girl 
code" in this situation, but any self- 
respecting 
female 
who 
gets 
a 
straightforward and inarguable "no" will 
take the clue and back off.
It sounds like you've found a wonderful 
girl. With care and tact, this 
situation 
can 
be 
defuseq 
and 
alL 
friendships maintained.
The Gallup Organization
A Great Place to Work
• Do you like to talk on the phone?
• Are you a leader?
• Do you like to take charge and make things 
happen?
• Are you highly disciplined?
• Do you like to know that the work you do makes 
a difference in the world?
You know Lincoln as the home of the Huekers.
But did you know it’s also the operational cooter 
of the world’s most famous survey research 
organization? The thoughts and opinions of 
millions of Americans on everything from politics 
to long distance carriers are collected, compiled 
and analyzed every year right here in Nebraska’s 
capital city. Now you can be a part of that Gallup 
is currently hiring full-time and part-time 
telephone interviewers to conduct market research 
and public opinion surveys. Galhg> win keep its 
two interviewing centers in Lincoln. This b not a 
telemarketing position.
LONDON...
Coming this July, a study tour in speech 
communication to England and Scotland
Take the Walla Walla College London Tour 
•. .History of Theatre (4 qt hrs.)
• • .Rhetoric of Western Thought (3 qt. hrs.)
•. .Churchill: The Man, the Message (1 qt. hr.)
Sights: Oxford, Bath, Coventry, Edinburgh, 
Stonehenge, Newbold, Windsor, plus Parliament, 
plays, concerts, shopping, and tons of fn.
$3,495 plus travel to and in England
Interested? Reach Loren Dickinson, 509-527-2342 
or 509-5290-5955 or dicklo@wwc.edu
Space limited. CALL SOON.
A.G.
Have a question? A rant?/Araye? BrmafiL 
askanswergiri@hotmail.(K)m./ 
I 
Ceri Myers_____
Perseverance: Basketball Intramurals Rolling
I Jared Gibson
The intensity and high action of 
basketball intramurals has picked up. 
With game experience under their belt 
players have been nailing their shots and 
stepping up the level of defense.
Desire and 
dedication have been 
evident from the beginning. No one has 
been dragging in the games, and hustle is 
rampant.
Despite a shortage of games thus far, the 
season has progressed nicely. Teams have 
become more cohesive as teammates learn 
each other's style and moves. More games 
are coming.
Hopefully, everyone has had a good 
season so far. I know I have had a lot of 
fun. I played a total of twelve minutes in 
my first game, thus surpassing my 
combined four year academy total for 
playing time. I was so excited when I first 
touched the ball, I forgot I was supposed 
to dribble and just took off running for the 
basket. I suddenly realized I was playing 
basketball and not football, a sport where 
touching the ball is far less common for 
me.
In one game, I was suddenly reminded 
of why it is impossible for me to play in
the post. 
After somehow miraculously 
grabbing 
an 
offensive 
rebound, 
I 
attempted to put the ball back in the hoop 
for the deuce. Instantly, I was jolted back 
to reality as two mean forwards took the 
opportunity to spike both me and the ball 
back to earth. As my diminutive body lay 
lifeless on the court, the overwhelming 
urge to declare myself academically and 
physically ineligible for the rest of the 
season came to mind.
But perseverance is a virtue listed in the 
Bible, so I shall not take the easy way out. 
Strangely, I have made every shot that I 
have taken. Of course, when you only take 
three shots for the whole season that is 
somewhat easier to accomplish. 
I will 
leave the fancy shooting and high scoring 
to people like Mike Wall and Austin 
Purkeypile.
When I see players who sky over me by 
several feet, I feel somewhat inadequate. I 
love my mother, but the Asian short genes 
that 
I 
inherited 
from 
her severely 
hampered my entire basketball career. In 
fact, I was the only person out of the 74 
students in Developmental Psychology to 
be bom less than the average length for
babies. 
And
since I was born 
at 
19 
inches 
nearly 
two
decades ago, my 
growth has been sporadic and fleeting.
So that's basketball intramurals for now. 
Hopefully we can have some stats and 
standings in upcoming issues. Until then, 
happy playing and make sure your games 
don't make you late for class, especially if the 
class is Critiquing Film.j^
Anna Kournikova: Why I Love Floor Hockey
Big Sticks, Cow Bells, and
I Kyle Martsching
Masked padded goalies, big sticks, cow 
bells, masculine men, and cute girls 
running around with chaotic glee is what 
sets floor hockey apart from all the other 
intramural sports at Union College. Who 
wouldn't want to whack a small orange 
donut-like puck at a person dressed like a 
gladiator with a big stick?
That's why I like floor hockey, you 
don't have to have all the right athletic 
chromosomes to play or have the sports 
I.Q. of say, Trey Sharp or Lindy Page. All 
you really have to do is become 
reasonably competent at hitting the puck 
with the stick. Because after that its just 
listening to the people that have methods 
to the madness. These hockey people are 
generally from the north and have the 
skills and knowledge to impart to the rest 
of us who want to learn to be true 
players. Whether its Rich Carlson 
shooting those snap shots or Ryan Willis's
ability to knife through an entire team to 
score a goal, these are the people to keep 
an eye on.
The other class of hockey players 
deserving credit are the defensive players. 
These are the veterans that are either in 
the right position at the right time to pick 
off the puck, or have the speed of a naked 
antelope as they race into the comers, 
fighting for the puck.
Goalies are a huge part of the game, 
but are sometimes hard to find. It's a 
difficult position; it involves putting on a 
whole bunch of stuff other people have 
sweated in and have a hard plastic thingy 
whacked at them for an hour. The ones 
that stick with it are usually die hard and 
love the challenges. I play goalie and I 
think it's the most fun position to play. I 
get to dive around, whack people's sticks 
with a bigger one, and chicks dig goalies. 
Actually chicks dig hockey players period. 
Who is Anna Kournikova engaged to?
Oh yeah, a grizzly hockey player.
Girls, you get to play in a game that by its 
very nature gives everyone a chance to play. 
Even Ryan Willis or a great goalie like Tell 
Suckut can't win a game by themselves. 
Every component of the team is important. 
Basically, you get to impress the guys with 
your skills and get some great exercise at the 
same time.
Hockey intramurals has two leagues 
available: a Men's league and a co-ed league 
(includes both men and women). Sign-ups 
are after Spring Break, so start thinking 
about being a captain. For those of you still 
thinking about whether or not to play—go 
for it, because it's fun and we like having 
more people play. Want to try floor hockey 
and see if you can play before you sign up 
for intramurals? Late night floor hockey is 
starting Wednesday Feburary 27. That's 
right floor hockey people, it's time for floor 
hockey every Wednesday night from 9:30 
p.m. to 11:00 p.m. So come on down to 
the gym and practice your skill,s or acquire 
ones you never thought you had. yL
The Carpenter
JasonDonovan_____
I've sat next to the carpenter 
With my eyes glued to his hands.
Slowly they formed a puzzle,
A puzzling beyond explanation.
Whittling meticulously with slow, tender touch; 
Scratching, pulling, digging;
But with such great care.
I have sat next to a carpenter,
And now fve found my heart.
A Scene in the 
Day in the Life of 
a Cubicle
KaryMeidell__________
^Welcome, once again, to the AMAZINGLY CRAZY Clocktower Art Section! This ^ 
issue showcases a wide selection of art, from poetry to photography to hand 
drawn art. Incredible as it may seem, this issue DOES NOT feature any wild 
fowl or live goats. As much as I tried, the editorial staff kept insisting 
that goats couldn't fit into the disk drive (due to their hooves), and the 
fowl were just too wild and kept flying at my face. So, sadly, I must 
present to you nothing of a live nature, but simply the BEST ART EVER!
SMASH, CRACK, FLAPOW!! Those are the sounds of art smashing into your eyes 
and lodging themselves in your mind with amazing amounts of incredible 
talent. You want your art in the newspaper you say? Well, no problem at 
all! Just give me an e-mail at brhornia@ucollege.edu or call me at 486-2893.
A Real American Hero
\seoff Biake 
Natalie's Cousin
Geoff Blake^
1. Where are you located?
2. What, are you doing?
3. What is the weirdest food you've eaten?
4. What is the most challenging thing you've encountered?
5. What has been your favorite place to visit this year?
6. What is your most embarrassing event this year?
7. When are you coming "home"?
1. Melbourne, Australia
2. Boarding House Dean of both guys and girls 
this year. It is very much like a home and we are 
having a blast
3. Well, Vegimite is certainly the weirdest and 
most unique thing I've eaten, but it is growing 
on me. I also love pumpkin as a vegetable and 
pumpkin soup. Mmm . . .
4. Being estranged from a dear friend and not 
knowing why
5. Sydney/The Great Ocean Road (it's a toss up) 
7. July
Enterprise Academy 
Assistant Dean, Bible teacher, 
Spanish teacher & Chaplain 
Pork rinds (Thank you Teachers' 
Convention at Branson, MO) 
Parents
Not knowing what TSS means. 
You figure it out guys!
In 3 months
1. A task force worker at Miracle 
Meadows School 
in Salem, West 
Virginia
2. I'm working as dorm staff with at- 
risk youth. 
I also help out with the 
music program and tutoring classes.
4.Standing up to the students that have 
a negative attitude
5. 
General 
Conference 
office 
in 
Maryland and the sights in D.C.
6. Just one? 
Blondes have one every 
day. :)
7.1 will be at home for the summer and 
then come back to Union next school 
year.
Phnom Pehn, Cambodia 
I am teaching English and computer classes.
A fried spider—seriously 
Not being able to watch the NFL's greatest team, 
the Vikings, play 
Bangkok
Right after the Oilers win the Stanley Cup
1. Majuro, Marshall Islands
2. I am teaching 26 wild and crazy 7th
graders
3. Peanut butter and pickle 
sandwiches—that's my own creation.:)
4. Being patient when I don't have any 
patience left
5. The big tree that grows on the beach at 
Laura Point. It's my favorite hangout:)
6. Saying something in English that turns 
out to be a bad word in their language. 
They think it's funny!
7. Majuro is my "home" now, but I am 
returning to the States at the end of May.
1. Campion Academy
2. 
I am working with Joe Martin 
doing Literature Evangelism
4. Being able to interact with the
kids on a spiritual level
5. Home:)
7. My "term" ends at graduation 
(end of May)
1. Tokuyama, Japan (the bottom of 
the big, long island)
2. 
Teaching English and Bible in a 
language school and learning the 
language
3. Fermented, stringy, slimy soybeans
5. Okinawa!
6. Breaking a glass vase in a shop, 
watching while it was cleaned up, then 
not being allowed to pay for it.
7. Beginning of August