A Night to Remember
Laura Kelleu
Klaralyn Gatz, Amy 
& Angela 
Barber 
struttin- their stuff 
at the ASB 
30’s 
Banquet.
The Wall brothers
enjoyed the evening
60 To College FREE,
Collect $200 
Carrie Purkeypile
A local Ji6spital has decided to 
pay the senior year tuition of two 
nursing/Students 
from 
Union. 
Their tuition is paid in full, along 
with a monthly stipend, on the 
condition that they work at Saint 
Elizabeth's Hospital for a minimum 
of three years after graduation, 
i 
Sairif 
Elizabeth 
selected 
applicants from several universities 
in the Lincoln area to receive the 
their 
available 
_ 
Criteria for 
the 
scholarships 
included 
experience 
in'v*s*^-4^adership^ 
community service, and heaTth care" 
Students 
submitted 
an 
essay
$125,000\of 
Scholarship Rinding.
describing personal motivation and 
professional goals in the nursing 
field.
On September 30, the ASB fall 
banquet occupied the convention room 
at the Embassy Suites Hotel, with twenty- 
nine tables full of Union College 
students. The theme was "Strangers in the 
NightX and nobody wanted to miss it.
^Strangers in the Night" started out as 
an idea for a party so people could get to 
know each other. It soon developed into 
an evenina banquet to remember. Tasha 
Reynolds, ASB Social Vice, started making 
the hotel reservations about two weeks 
before the I event. Embassy Suites did 
everything/from decorations to food 
service to the cleanup.
A lot of work was put into the event
includii 
that wej 
for
the creation of small booklets 
propped at each place setting 
ers to browse through. The 
entitled "1930's A Decade in 
tew, 
contained a broad range of 
topics from sports and comics to 
advertising.
The live jazz music was performed by 
faculty from 
UNL. The performers 
included Rusty White on bass, Tom 
Larson on the keyboard, and Darryl 
White on the trumpet. The trio played for
boo.
the majority of the evening.
Also among the entertainment was 
Jonathan Lucas who sang his rendition of 
Frank Sinatra's song, "Strangers, in the 
Night." Not far into the song, he forgot the 
words and began substituting his own. The 
song was appreciated by the audience and 
he received a warm applause.
Talking and laughing was rich in the air 
as people mingled together. According to 
Scott Cushman, "The only thing better than 
my date was both of them together." He 
was accompanied by Angela Matthews and 
Pauline Deeb, who sat on either side of 
him.
Toward the end of the meal, Mikey 
Larson announced his recent engagement 
to Daniela Prieto. The news resulted in wild 
applause and tinkling of silverware on 
glasses.
Finally the food was eaten, the 
entertainment was over, and the room was 
emptied as the guests went their ways. 
Flowers would be placed in water, formal 
wear put away, and life would return back 
to its normal routine. The first ASB banquet 
of the year was over.
Spiritual Gifts, Bluegrass,
And Driftwood
IT ,a lira Rum spy
Union students opened the 
Word & opened their hearts.
G
ood nutrition for body, mind, 
and spirit/ That is how Jari 
Szkutova, 
Ministerial 
Club 
member, described this year's 
annual retreat at Broken Arrow 
Ranch in Olsburg, Kansas. Out of 190 
Ministerial Club members, 132 students 
attended the September 28-30 retreat and 
enjoyed good weather, good food, and 
good fellowship.
The retreat began Friday evening with 
supper and vespers and lasted through 
Sunday morning. 
The weekend was a 
spiritually 
uplifting 
and 
inspiring 
experience for many. The atmosphere was 
"very warm and friendly," Seth Pierce said. 
"Everybody seemed glad to be there. It was 
also an atmosphere that encouraged 
spiritual fellowship."
Featured speaker of the weekend was 
Pastor Ron Carlson, brother to Rich 
Carlson and father to Jeff and Steve. His 
simple, straightforward style was received 
warmly by students and faculty. Pastor 
Fetrick, Ministerial Club sponsor, said, "He 
spoke from his experience, had good 
content, humor, and he communicated 
well. Each presentation was a positive 
focus on Christ."
"The Holy Spirit moved through [Pastor 
Carlson] to give us fresh insights about 
love, joy, and living as Christians," Pierce 
said.
Another student, Krissy Ball, said that
his challenges "made me decide to change 
a few things in my life."
Sabbath 
School 
and 
the Sabbath 
evening service focused on recognizing 
and 
utilizing 
spiritual 
gifts. 
After 
completing a test that named individual 
spiritual strengths, people divided into 
groups based on categories such as 
leadership, 
service, 
teaching, 
and 
hospitality. The goal was to brainstorm 
about different ministry opportunities that 
could be created as a result of the different 
spiritual gifts in the Ministerial Club and 
at Union. Strangely, the speaking in 
tongues group was left unattended.
Aside from spiritual refreshment and 
inspiration, the retreat was also a great 
time to relax, take a walk in nature, get 
better acquainted with people, and even 
sleep outside on the beach. Friday night 
found only a handful of people on the 
beach huddled around fires for warmth. 
By Saturday night, however, there was a 
small community of over 15 people by the 
lake in sleeping bags, tents, and even 
mattresses. "The beach was wonderful," 
Szkutova said. "What a blessing to fall 
asleep with the peaceful sound of waves 
and a cozy campfire."
Those cozy campfires did not come 
without 
a 
little 
work. 
"I 
enjoyed 
pretending to be strong with Tim Jordan 
by breaking huge pieces 
of fragile 
driftwood on the beach," Pierce said.
Sabbath afternoon allowed time to 
sleep, walk, play piano and guitar in the 
lodge, or join a question/answer session 
with religion professors. After a group 
picture with matching blue t-shirts, supper, 
and the evening service, Saturday night 
activities began. An impromptu talent 
show featured the hidden and bizarre 
talents of many students. Although the 
competition was stiff, a first prize of $25 
was awarded to Lindsay Hanson's group 
for a skit entitled "Doctor's Office." Jeff 
and Steve Carlson, along with Katie 
Lechler, snatched second place with a 
rousing bluegrass number, and Lauren
Carrico took third place with a song in sign 
language.
Food was provided in part by wives of 
religion professors. 
But this was not a 
standard cafeteria experience. Jennifer 
Dickerson described the food as "totally 
awesome." Breakfast plates were heaped 
high with pancakes, scrambled eggs, and 
Prosage. 
Other meals included haystacks, 
soup, freshly baked cookies, popcorn, 
watermelon, and apple cider.
Who was behind the planning of this 
Ministerial Club retreat? Melissa Palmer, 
President; 
Jonathan 
Schwarz, 
Vice- 
President; Amanda McGuire, Treasurer; 
Jose Medina, Social Vice; and Greg Howell, 
Secretary/Public Relations.
There were a few things that could be 
changed for next year. Krissy Ball said, 
"marking the vegan food" would be a good 
improvement, and Jennifer Dickerson 
noticed 
one 
missing 
element 
from 
previous years. "They used to have huge 
bonfires and an afterglow. I missed that."
Overall, the retreat was a success and a 
rich blessing to many people. Pastor Fetrick 
described his favorite part as "watching the 
Holy Spirit work as everything comes 
together for a blessing upon the retreat."
"It was something that I will never forget 
and hope to attend every year," Ball said.
"I was really thankful I went," Szkutova 
said. "Next year, count me definitely in!"<**
•The Mary Poppins in Me
Tell Me About It!
The Clocktower is the official student 
newspaper of Union College. Contact 
the editor with your comments at:
I Address:
The Clocktower 
3800 S. 48th St.
Lincoln, NE 68506
Phone:
(402)486-2091
Email:
AmSauder@ucollege.edu
"But, Mom, I've got to drop this class!" 
I groaned. "The quizzes are awful. I'm so 
busy already, and I don't know when I'm 
going to find the time for all this out-of­
class work and the labs."
-^"Amanda, don't think of it as something 
you have to do; think of it as something 
you get to do."
*2 *Well, yeah, okay. But I just don't know. 
I thought this was going to be a fun class."
"It will be a fun class if you make it fun."
"Okay, okay. I'll think about it."
I was annoyed. I had made up my mind 
to drop this class and now 
Mother's sage advice had infiltrated my 
determination, as mothers' sage advice 
often does. Make it fun, huh? I sighed.
So I stuck with it. And I paid attention 
in class, asked questions, and tried to 
enjoy my assignments and labs. And you 
know what? It worked!
Maybe it's just the Mary Poppins in me, 
but this experience reminded me of the 
value of good ol' determination and a 
positive attitude. You know, "In every job 
that must be done, there is an element of 
fun." And for everything else, swallow it 
with a spoonful of sugar.
I'm sitting in my room above Kiddie 
Kollege and I can hear the kids at recess. 
Feet padding on the sidewalk. Scraggly
shouts of glee. Wheezing. When did we 
stop having fun at school? (Probably when 
they took away nap time . .. and recess.)
Here's my challenge: Make it fun! 
Homework. Classes. Work. Don't make life 
a chore. Find some way to enjoy everything 
you do, even if it means scribbling notes in 
class or humming the "Spoonful of Sugar" 
song while you work. (This probably is not 
a good idea for those of you participating 
in the Phonathon.)
Life is all about vision. Our vision can 
deeply affect our spiritual walk, as well. If 
we see our devotions or prayer time with 
God as something we have to do rather 
than something we are privileged to do, 
our Christian journey becomes sluggish. I 
wonder how it makes God feel when we 
think of time with Him as an obligation. 
(Gotta get those worship credits . . .) The 
heavenly race can be tiring and we will fall, 
but that's where determination comes in. 
Jesus sweeps us off our feet and gives us the 
strength to keep running.
I'm really glad I didn't drop the class. I 
am actually really enjoying it now and 
even look to it as a break from stress. So, 
thanks Mom. You were right (again).
But you'll have to excuse me, I'm going 
to go fly a kite ....
All in Fsmot. Senate Discusses 
Fkriiamentarij Procedure
Josh Leeker______
The Union College Senate began 
operations on Monday, the 24th of 
September, at 7:00 p.m. with an overview 
of parliamentary procedure. One reason 
the 
procedure is being instituted is to 
maintain order in the meetings. Another 
reason is because many of the other 
Adventist colleges have been and are using 
the procedure. During last year's AIA 
(Adventist Intercollegiate Association) 
convention, Union's officers felt inept 
during meetings because they were not 
familiar enough with the procedure.
After the overview, four committees were 
discussed and named by the members 
present at the meeting. The standing 
committees are as follows:
Academic Committee—works to 
inform students of academic information.
Rules 
Committee—works 
to 
formulate the Senate's agenda.
Appropriations 
Committee—
deal with money and the budget.
Writing Committee—once a bill has 
been passed, this committee will make 
sure it makes sense.
Next on the agenda, Tasha Reynolds 
requested a budget increase of $4,000 for 
the Fall Banquet. Because of a $14,000 
surplus, the request was granted which 
brought the total for the fall banquet up to 
$6,500. ^
Standing Academic Committee 
Chain Daniel Murauskas 
Pauline Deeb
David Flaiz 
Tim Kuntz 
Mike Wall
Chair: David Flaiz 
Tim Kuntz 
Daniel Murauskas
Appropriations Committee 
Chair: Chip Owens
Brandon Bowles 
Ryan Christianen 
April Nielsen 
Mindy Swaningson
Chain Pauline Deeb
Daniel Murauskas 
Daisy Ornopia 
Mike Wall
Doe Flow Low?: How Union Students get Money
: by AnitiaReynolds__
Money. Everyone needs it, and nobody 
seems to have it. 
So how do you get 
money for bills, clothes, entertainment? In 
a recent survey done on the Union College 
campus, randomly selected students were 
asked what they did to earn extra cash and 
these are the results:
Happy money hunting!
* 75% work on campus
* 43% get a little extra from the parents
* 37% work off campus
* 34% want to, or have donated
plasma
* 25% want to, or have done MDS
Pharmaservices lab studies
* 12% are still looking for a job
* 6% have their own personal business*
Get Your Fitness On: CABL 
Encouraged to Exercize
Heather Kampf
September 10 started the six-week 
CABL Fitness Week for health-eager Uni< 
College students. Students are encouraged 
walk, run, or perform any type of physi 
activity, and record their achievements 
sheets of paper distributed by Camp 
Ministries. The sheets are to be returned at t 
end of every week to various boxes local 
around campus, including Rees, Prescott a 
Culver dorms. They are then recorded a 
charted on a regular basis. At the end of 
sixth week, the charts will be tallied an< 
"cool prize" will be given to the winner, s 
Josh Leeker, this year's CABL Director. 
.
Amnesty International Write 
for Human Rights
UoSleflker
Amnesty International is a world­
wide volunteer movement that works 
prevent some of the gravest violation: 
people's fundamental human rights 
governments. People all over the world 
being imprisoned because of their beliefs 
their religion. Chapters of the association 
located around the world where they "ad 
sp>erific prisoners, contact their families, v 
appeal letters to appropriate authorities, 
attempt to let the prisoners know that pc 
care about their situations.
The Union College chapter, headec 
Amanda McGuire, is in its sixth year of b 
part of the organization and has the bif 
chapter in Nebraska with 50 members, b 
information about Amnesty International 
be given at convocation on October 30. .
Dr. Abbey Becomes Chair of Math and
Science Division
Have you ever 
wanted to play a 
prank on your 
friends? Dr. Don 
Abbey did while 
attending Walla 
Walla 
College 
where he earned 
his B.S. in Mathematics and his M.A. in 
Biology. He and his roommates put their 
scientific knowledge to use by wiring one 
of their chairs so anyone unfortunate 
enough to sit there would get a shock. "It 
was phenomenal," according to Dr. Abbey, 
"It would actually lift them into the air." 
Dr. Abbey went on to earn his Ph.D. from 
the University of Alberta in 1993.
During his first year of graduate school, 
Dr. Abbey decided to become a teacher. 
For five summers, he taught biology
courses at marine stations, which are 
biology stations set up on the coast. 
Students learned about marine organisms 
and Dr. Abbey taught one of his areas of 
specialty: ichthyology, which is the study 
of fish. His other specialty is ecology.
Dr. Abbey has taught at Canadian 
Union College and also at Solusi College 
in Zimbabwe. Dr. Abbey and his wife 
taught in Zimbabwe because they were 
interested 
in the 
opportunities that 
working in a foreign mission had to offer 
and also in learning about a different 
culture.
Dr. Abbey came to Union in 1998, 
attracted by the attitude of the students 
through both their friendliness and also 
the 
Christian 
atmosphere. 
He 
was 
especially impressed when he saw "their 
genuine interest in spiritual values." His
favorite part of teaching is "seeing the joy 
of discovery." This is especially true of 
experiential learning. Dr. Abbey has taken 
students to Central America to study 
biology on four different occasions and is 
planning another trip for the summer of 
2002.
One of Dr. Abbey's major priorities as 
the new chair of the Math and Science 
Division is to work on getting a new 
building. Because the east end of Engel 
Hall was constructed in the 1940's and the 
west end in the early 1960's, many of the 
facilities need to be updated. Dr. Abbey 
believes that the Math and Science 
building is an essential aspect of Union 
College, and it is definitely time for a new 
one. w
Stairwau to Compton: Slow progress on 
Culver’s New Fire Escape
Anitra Reynolds
"Is it done yet? Oh, no!" said Ron Dodds about the new fire escape 
addition to Culver Hall. According to Dodds, the construction crew 
still needs to pour concrete and do a few other minor things here and 
there.
The project began in the latter part of May and is expected to be 
finished by October 15
Dodds said the reason for the improvement is so that the entire 
north wing of Culver can be utilized. Before the addition, the wing 
was not usable because it was considered a fire hazard.
Even though the wing will be opened, it is going to take a long 
time to clean up the mess from the renovations. This has to be done 
before the rooms can be occupied. 'There is much to be done," said 
Dodds,
Making the Connection
Carri£fiu[keypil£__
Union's own brand of telemarketers have taken to the phone 
lines once again this year, requesting donations from alumni. 
Each student signs up for five nights of calling, in shifts of four 
hours each. The callers have said that the alumni are generally 
receptive and nice.
The students are often contested by answering machines, 
hang-ups, or indifferent people. However, they are also 
encouraged by friendly voices who are eager to help. Freshman 
Michelle Corson remembers chatting a half hour with one 
pleasant woman. She felt great after that call and said, "We 
made a connection."
When asked if she plans to participate in the Phon-a-thon 
again, one caller answered, "It depends on how bad I need the 
money next year!" ^
How Well Does Union Score In Three Important Areas: 
Food Service, Campus Security, and Academics?
Results of the Noel-Levitz Survey 
^mondoj;audej
Every spring the flowers blossom, birds 
sing, twitterpated couples laugh and hold 
hands, and Osa Berg and the Records 
Office crew hand out the Noel-Levitz 
survey. 
Also known as the Student 
Satisfaction Inventory, this survey has been 
written by the Noel-Levitz company to 
evaluate students7 views about their 
college. It covers twelve important aspects 
of 
college 
life: 
Academic 
Advising 
Effectiveness, Campus Climate, Campus 
Life, Campus Support Services, Concern 
for 
the 
Individual, 
Instructional 
Effectiveness, Recruitment and Financial 
Aid 
Effectiveness, 
Registration 
Effectiveness, Responsiveness to Diverse 
Populations, Safety and Security, Service 
Excellence, and Student Centeredness.
According to USA Group Noel-Levitz, 
Inc., the Student Satisfaction Inventory is 
set up to determine three scores for each 
question. 
First, it determines how 
important that item is to the students. 
Answers are scored from 0-7. In this case, 
the more important the item is to the 
students, the higher its score. Second, the 
survey shows how satisfied the student is 
with each item. The higher the score, the 
more pleased the student is that their 
expectations have been met in that area. 
Finally, the survey takes each question and 
subtracts the satisfaction rating from the 
importance rating to find the performance 
gap score. A high performance gap score 
shows that the students7 expectations are 
not being met; a low performance gap 
score shows that the school is exceeding 
students7 expectations. Any performance 
gap score above 1 indicates this issue needs 
to be addressed by the administration. 
Here is an example of a question and how 
it could be answered and evaluated: 
Question 2 on the survey says, "The 
campus staff are caring and helpful." 
Under "Importance to me ..you mark 6 
for
Important. 
Under 
"My 
level 
of
(P-6 
)
satisfaction ..." you mark 5 for Somewhat 
Satisfied. 
The performance gap for this 
answer would be 1.
Each 
spring 
the 
Records 
Office 
randomly selects approximately 300 
Freshmen and Senior students to fill out 
the survey. They choose Freshmen and 
Senior students because this gives 
them an idea of how students feel 
when they first arrive at Union 
College and how they feel after they 
have spent several years here. Once 
the surveys are filled out and handed 
back to the Records Office, they are sent 
back to the Noel-Levitz company where 
they are recorded and evaluated. Results 
are sent back to Union by the summer. 
The scores are then assessed and passed on 
to the Quality Improvement Council.
So what did you have to say about 
Union? Of the twelve aspects of college 
life surveyed in the 2001 Noel-Levitz 
survey, you are most pleased by the 
Student Centeredness area. 
This area 
involves campus efforts to make students 
feel valued. Union scored a performance 
gap of 0.71 in this category. 
The most 
lacking 
department was 
Safety 
and 
Security. This category, which gauges both 
security personnel and campus facilities, 
had a performance gap of 1.77. Five other 
departments scored a performance gap 
higher than one: Campus Life (1.04), 
Campus Support Services (1.03), Concern 
for the Individual (1.12), Instructional 
Effectiveness (1.18), and Recruitment and 
Financial Aid (1.05).
The Noel-Levitz survey also ranks 
specific concerns within each category. The 
largest performance gap was recorded with 
this statement: there is an adequate 
selection of food in the cafeteria. 
This 
statement had a performance gap of 3.07. 
Other statements with high performance 
gaps include: security staff respond quickly 
in emergencies (2.33), living conditions in 
the residence halls are comfortable (2.05),
Departments Union 
Students Aren't Satisfied With:
Safety and Security 
(1.77)
Instructional
Effectiveness
(1.88)
Concern for the 
Individual 
(1.12)
4. 
Recruitment & 
Financial Aide
(1.05)
5. 
Campus Life
(1.04)
6. 
Campus Support 
Services
(1.03)
Note: 
Wondering what 
the 
numbers mean? 
Read on...
What Union Students 
Are Least Satisfied With:
Food selection in the cafeteria 
(3.07)
2. 
Security staff response time
(2.33)
3. 
Residence hall living conditions
(2.05)
Library Resources and Services 
(1.93)
5. 
Residence Hall regulations
(1.88)
Continued on page 8...
They teach. They promote learning. 
They help their students like any other 
teacher. But they don't have a personal 
office tucked away on the fourth floor of 
the Dick Building. They don't have readers 
to help them with their work. They may 
not even have a Snoopy address or 
personal extension.
And why is this? It is because Rich 
Carlson, Sarah Fairchild, Kathy Goddard, 
Michelle Nash, Ryan Teller and Catherine 
Weber are contract teachers. Some teach 
freshmen and sophomore level-classes 
that 
are 
mandatory 
graduation 
requirements for everyone. Some teach 
specialty classes that full-time teachers 
don't have either the time or the ability to 
teach. 
Whatever 
the 
case, 
Carlson, 
Fairchild, Goddard, Nash, Teller, and 
Weber 
complete 
staffing 
for 
the 
Humanities Division.
But these teachers do more than just 
help the Humanities Division. They have 
lives and jobs beyond the classes they 
teach at Union. Rich Carlson, Union 
College Chaplain, donates his time to 
teach students because he "enjoys" it. 
Michelle Nash teaches at College View 
Academy. Sarah Fairchild runs a small 
literary publishing company called Black 
Star Press. Besides being a published poet 
and a leader of a poetry group, Fairchild
also teaches at the College of St. Mary's 
Weekend 
College 
and 
at Southeast 
Community College. Fairchild has taught 
at Union previously and is back because 
she liked "the people and the spiritual 
environment." Kathy Goddard works part 
time in the Advancement Department. 
Goddard is also finishing her work for 
Global Mission at the General Conference 
and will be speaking in Chapel on 
November 13. She will be writing two 
lesson quarterlies for the GC on baptism 
later this year. In January, Goddard will 
start teaching full time at CVA. For her, 
teaching is "fun." Catherine Weber teaches 
three classes at Wesleyan University. Weber 
spends the rest of her time with her three- 
year-old daughter, Madison.
Rich Carlson 
o 
Public Speaking
I Sarah Fairchild 
o 
College Writing 1
Kathy Goddard 
o 
College Writing I
Michelle Nash 
o 
College Writing It
Ryan Teller
o 
Video Production
Catherine Weber 
o 
Beginning Spanish
Fried Rice: Chris Rice Cancels Concert
ueatbenKampf
The October 7 Chris Rice concert has 
been cancelled due to a contingency 
agreement made months ago at the time of 
booking. Rice has had a "change in focus 
and direction," says Pastor Rich Carlson, 
coordinator of the Union College Concert 
Series. Rice will no longer be performing 
solo concerts as he is now working and 
touring with Michael W. Smith. An attempt 
was made to get the combined group to
perform at Union, but a tightly booked 
schedule and increased costs made this an 
impossible task. Campus Ministries is 
working on a new contact for second 
semester, which they are hoping will be 
added to the already scheduled Fernando 
Ortega and Watermark concerts. Pastor 
Rich further states that the whole ordeal 
"didn't cost us any money, it just cost us a 
concert."**
Cinnamon Roll or
Brownie?
lAnitra Reynolds
Who:
was born in Denver 
claims Midwest 
as home
has lived in Chicago,
Kansas City, Louisiana, 
and now in Lincoln 
^ 
has a wife named 
Cindi, son named 
Mark, and a daughter 
named Amy 
wears glasses 
received a degree in 
Theology from Union, Master of 
Divinity from Andrews, and a Doctor of 
Ministry in Pastoral Counseling and 
Psychotherapy from Garrett-Evangelical 
Theological Seminary 
is an ordained minister 
is a Licensed Professional Counselor 
is a Board Certified Chaplain 
is a Fellow in the American Association 
of Pastoral Counselors 
enjoys photography, learning, collecting 
very fine fountain pens, scuba diving, 
and making cinnamon rolls 
has brown carpet in his office 
loves people, yet still has the time for 
you?
Dr. Kirk Brown, counselor at Union 
College. The first session to visit with Dr. 
Brown is free. After that, sessions are five 
dollars each. To make an appointment, call 
the Teaching Learning Center at ext. 2506 or 
just drop in. Hours are posted on the door.
Say Who?
Kuzanne Current
) A Brier Look at 
Dr. Kirk Brown
library resources and services are adequate 
(1.93), and residencyhall regulations are 
reasonable (1.88).
What, according td the survey, is most 
important to Union students? 
Students 
ranked the content of courses within their 
major as the most valuaDhs^to them. Thi^ 
statement had a performancegap of-fr39. 
Second in importance for Union students 
was having their academic advisor be 
knowledgeable about requirements in 
their major (0.94). 
Excellent quality of 
class 
instruction 
ranked 
third 
in 
importance for students, but had a 
performance gap of 1.15.
Union College students are most 
satisfied by the fact that they are made to 
feel welcome here. 
According to the 
survey, they are also pleased that Union 
College has a good reputation within the 
community and is an SDA college that 
supports the mission of the SDA church. 
Most students feel that nearly all the 
faculty are knowledgeable in their field 
and 
that their academic advisor is 
approachable.
While 
many 
of 
the 
students' 
expectations are beingjpiet, many are not.
rhat is Union College doing to address 
these needs? One area that has scored a 
(gh performance gap over the past several 
:ars has been Food Services. According to 
>avid Smith, Union College president, 
construction is scheduled to begin in 
February for a new cafeteria. 
This 
renovation will allow for greater variety 
and more choices in food selection; it is 
hoped to be finished in time for the start of 
the 2002-03 school year. Campus Safety 
and Security is another area that scored a 
high performance gap. Over the past 
several years, the college has increased 
lighting in parking lots, landscaped to clear 
paths, put a light on the security mule, and 
activated a phone number students can call 
for an escort. "We recognize we need to do 
more," Smith said. Currently Dr. Smith is 
working with the Vice President of Student 
Services, 
Linda Wysong, 
to 
improve 
security, possibly by implementing more 
training for security personnel. ^
^ 
How can you voice your concerns?
1) 
The 
Noel-Levitz 
survey 
is 
administered to approximately 300 
randomly selected students each spring. 
However, anyone is welcome to take the 
survey. 
The more responses they 
receive, the more accurate the results 
will be. The surveys will be available 
sometime after Spring Break and 
students can pick up their copy on the 
fifth floor of the Dick Building in the 
Records Office.
2) Students can also take complaints to 
the Quality Improvement Council or 
any member of the council. Members 
of the council include: 
David Smith 
(chair), Linda Wysong (secretary), 
Lowell Hagele, Osa Berg, LouAnn 
Davis, Tom Becker, Linda Skinner, Rich 
Carlson, and Gary Bollinger. 
"We are 
just dying for people to come and 
complain," 
said 
Osa 
Berg, 
administrator of the Noel-Levitz survey 
and 
member 
of 
the 
Quality 
Improvement Council.
Teachers Gear Up for Student Assessments
Nikki Larkins
Teachers 
gathered 
to 
discuss 
the 
academic assessment procedure at Union 
College for the first time this year on 
September 20. The meeting consisted of a 
workshop 
conducted 
by 
Osa 
Berg, 
Director 
of Records, 
Research, 
and 
Assessment, that prepared teachers for the 
improved
methods of student learning outcome 
assessments that the school will be 
adopting over the next several years. 
Accrediting 
agencies 
require 
all 
institutions of higher learning to conduct 
these assessments in order to document 
whether or not students actually learn 
what schools claims
they are learning. 
The main questions 
asked are:
What do you want your graduates To
know?
What do you want your graduates to be 
able to do?
How 
can 
you 
tell 
if you 
have 
accomplished your goals?
Though Union received high marks at 
the last accreditation two years ago, it still 
has a long way to go, according to Berg. 
There is still a lack of exact procedures to 
use when assessing students' acquired 
leaming/skills. She wants to ensure that 
the school's assessment program is up to 
par before its next accreditation (which 
will be approximately eight years from 
now).
"Tests/are one way, but they are by no 
means the best way [to measure student 
leajning assessment) ... It can be 
demonstrated in many other ways besides
tests," said Berg.
One of the methods of assessment 
discussed at the meeting is the use of 
j 
portfolios. All students would be req-. 
d 
j 
to keep an individual account of the ma. * 
work they do within tnek majors. Thi^ 
gives an excellent way toTT*emM5e-'Tne 
improvement, or lack of improvement, 
made by students, according to Dr. Hagele 
Director of the Academic Department.
Hagele also said that the results are used 
to improve learning in the classrooms.
"We don't just take these statistics and put 
them in the closet and shut the door," he 
said. On the contrary, these assessments 
are viewed as feedback that the school can 
use to enhance education. "We want 
Union to be a place where... you get what 
you pay for," Hagele said,
Harmonizing Health Care
Hospitol Singing Brings Peace to Patients
Anna Hartfield
My motivation is "knowing that there 
are so many people in the hospital that are 
having a hard time and need Christ in their 
lives," said sophomore Megan Rader. 
Megan 
participates 
in 
the 
hospital 
"Singspiration" that happens twice a 
month at St. Elizabeth's Hospital.
The "Singspiration" 
ministry was 
started last year by Sophomore Megan 
Rader and Senior Loewen Recalde after 
they decided they wanted to use their 
talent for singing as a ministry that would 
touch people on a personal basis. Many 
students take part in this ministry, with a 
diverse group going each time. The group 
began singing on 5th and 6th floor of the 
hospital, but has since been invited to sing 
in critical care, the bum unit, and even the 
children's ward.
The group sings at least three songs per 
room, more if requested by the patient. 
They read the patient a scripture and have 
prayer with them. Many of the patients
have favorite songs and scriptures they 
request to hear. Recently, they have been 
giving the patients a card that tells about 
the ministry and reminds them that they 
are cared about.
There are those that think such a 
ministry cannot possibly help those who 
are sick, but Loewen disagrees. "We have 
noticed that the heart rate of the patient 
sometimes drops by two or three bgats 
when we sing. I think we 
/
bring a joy and peace to their roonre," said 
Loewen.
The patients react in different wa^Ssto 
this ministry, but most of them an 
thankful for the blessing the students bring 
them. "It is nice to see how much people 
appreciate what we are doing, some people 
even start crying," said senior Erin Smith.
Anyone interested in taking part in this 
ministry may call Megan Rader at #2608 or 
Loewen Recalde at 484-8560. a
Piedmont Church Offers Traditional Style Worship
If nn> Fcrnhnr_____________________________________
Situated on the comer of 48th and "A" 
Street, 
Piedmont 
Park 
Seventh-Day- 
Adventist Church boasts a well manicured 
lawn and a sign displaying words of 
encouragement to the many passersby. 
Inside, the sanctuary is spacious and the 
faces are friendly.
Pastor Allen Myers is the head of the 
Piedmont Park church. 
"It is a friendly, 
vibrant church," 
Myers said. "It is very 
family oriented." 
Among Piedmont 
members are many young families and 
children.
Piedmont Park offers a traditional style 
of worship. Sabbath School begins at 9:30 
a.m. every Saturday with classes to target 
every age group. The church service begins 
at 10:50 a.m.
Myers went on to say that the goal of 
their church is to reach out to others in 
friendship. 
He stated that Piedmont is 
constantly seeking out ways to increase 
exposure of the church by friendship and 
special programs that pertain to health 
and evangelism. Also, every third Sabbath 
of the month regular members meet with
each other and guests at a potluck held at 
the church.
Piedmont's mission statement states: 
"We desire, with God's 
guidance, to help prepare every person for 
the second coming of Jesus through a 
warm, loving, Christ-like atmosphere."
P-9 )
Discoveries From 
The Campus Ministries Office
Pierre____________________________
1. Seth's translucent red "UFC Disk" 
has been found!
2. No one even tried to Finish the 
phrase on the Veggie Tales Afterglo 
poster, which would have resulted 
in winning a Veggie Tales video. Tsk, 
tsk.
3. Fires, unless caused by the Holy 
Spirit, are not welcome in the office 
area.
4. The plant by the couch is NOT 
edible.
"But I tell you: Love your enemies and 
pray for those who persecute you" (Matt. 
5:44, NIV).
Do you think that the red tomatoes in a 
garden get angry when a green one shows 
up? Seriously, do you think they have a 
personal crisis when one of those green 
spheres manifests itself among the shiny 
red ones? I can see it now.
It is a beautiful morning in the garden, 
all the red tomatoes are growing, soaking 
up the sun, and talking about the weather. 
All of a sudden, a tomato gasps and 
shrieks, "Will you look at that? "It's green!" 
Sure enough, a green version of the plump 
and ripe tomatoes has entered into the 
garden. And on the same vine nonetheless. 
This is a catastrophe. Right then and there 
the tomatoes begin to shun the green one 
and so much of their focus is on that 
detestable, 
different, 
and 
obnoxious 
specimen that they all decide to stop 
growing and die.
This is probably the dumbest story you 
have heard in a long time. Obviously this 
does not occur in the garden (or at least
not the ones we know of). Everybody 
knows that if the green one is permitted to 
sit peacefully among the red ones, 
growing on the same vine, it too will turn 
red.
So why is it when a sinner, or someone 
with real problems, comes in and invades 
the seemingly perfect Christian harmony 
of our lives; we get uppity and irritated? 
Why is it when someone is a little "green" 
to the faith we shun them because we are 
not to hang out with "those" people? And 
if someone should loop or act differently 
than us; why is it we spend so much time 
talking and focusing on their problems 
that we stop growing as Christians and 
form a lifeless exclusive Christian Club? 
Jesus tells us to pray for those we don't 
like, who are different, and even those 
who are our enemies. Why? Because every 
good Christian should know that when a 
sinner or an enemy is allowed to sit 
peacefully in our church, our experience, 
and our faith, the blood of Jesus will cover 
them, turn them red like us, and we will 
grow together.
Life After Missions:
A Student Missionary Returns
Tracy Faber
So are you thinking about being a 
Student Missionary? You have dreams of 
teaching 30 little darlings, spreading the 
word of God to spiritually hungry people, 
and all the while growing stronger in your 
own personal walk with God? Maybe this 
will happen when you are a Student 
Missionary and maybe it won't. But what 
happens when you come back to school 
where your friends and family are?
How much do you really change? Kari 
Lund, a returned student missionary from 
Pohnpei, said that she has changed 
immensely since she came back to the US. 
"It was like I had a smaller view of the 
world before, and now the world seems so 
much bigger to me." Not only did her
outlook on the world change but also her 
outlook on God. Here in our worldly and 
materialistic society, it is easy to forget 
devotionals and not think about how it 
effects you or how your day went. "Down 
there, you can't survive without God very 
long. The people who spent personal time 
with God every day were the people that 
had the energy to teach screaming 10 year 
olds with tantrums and still have the 
strength to do it again the next day."
Kari said that she wants to travel the 
world now and see other cultures. "Now 
when I read about the different countries 
in class, I have the passion to go there and 
actually see for myself how it is, not just 
read about it." ^
Kari 
Lund, 
returned 
Student Missoinary, talks 
about her experience.
Katie Lechler
I'm in the middle of a very trying week. 
Not to sound full of self-pity, but I haven't 
felt so great for a while. I'm just sort of 
unenthused about life. It takes a lot to 
make me crack a genuine smile these days.
Now I only mention this because, just 
about every semi-conscious person in my 
life has noticed. I love Union so much; this 
is the only place I've ever been where if you 
stop smiling for 20 seconds straight, half 
the campus sits up and takes notice. For a 
temporarily disenchanted person like 
myself, it takes a lot of effort to still fit in 
with you people. Of course, I'd say that's a 
pretty good reputation for our college to 
have.
Despite my dysfunctional laughter 
reflex, a few things still bring joy to my 
soul. Union's squirrels haven't lost their 
fascination for me yet. Those little guys 
have to be just about the most intelligent 
rodents west of the Mississippi. Often, I 
have been rushed by one or two squirrels, 
only to watch them scamper away,
Student Missionary Letters
Anita Rocchio
The first thing I thought, and said, when 
I realized that my key was gone was, "jMi 
Have! jDonde esta mi Have?" (My key! 
Where is my key?). It is a weird feeling 
when your initial exclamation to a surprise 
is in a foreign language.
In normal situations, I would not gasp 
at the thought that I had lost my key. I 
would just go back to the last place I set it 
down at and find it lying where had left it. 
But this was different. I was in the middle 
of a soccer field, on a moonless night. I 
had been running up and down the field 
for who knows how long before I realized 
that my key had fallen off of my 
"foolproof" knot. My knot did not work 
and my key was somewhere among the 
dark, damp, mosquito infested weeds.
"Go get you flashlight and we will look 
for it." A friend suggested. That was a great 
idea since my apartment was only a few
chattering, once they've gotten within 3 
inches of my feet. Now and then I chase 
them a few feet before regaining my 
faAade of nonchalance. And as I walk 
away, I smile.
Another thing that makes my heart 
happy is Frank. Sinatra, that is. He is the 
greatest, and his music never fails to lift me 
out of my "blahs." Last year, I had an 
overload of Sinatra during the run of 
"Kindergarten," but I crave it now. As I fold 
clothes in my room and sing along with 
Ol' Blue Eyes, I smile.
And at the risk of sounding moralizing, 
Jesus makes me the most happy. I think 
about how much He's teaching me this 
year, how many blessings I take for 
granted, and how much peace is to be 
found in giving everything up to Him. My 
mind stops racing with small, petty 
dissatisfactions, and I can breathe again. 
When I truly let Him into my heart, He 
brushes away my clouds and shines a little 
sun into my heart. And I smile.
feet away and LOCKED. My roommate 
would not be home for hours and I was 
already 
dreading 
the 
morning- 
methodically pacing back and forth on the 
grass like a crazy person.
My friend had a flashlight in his room 
and he offered to go back and get it. 
Suddenly, I was alone in a green field with 
no one to keep me company but the stars 
and the wind. I walked back and forth 
hoping to catch a twinkle of the key. 10 
minutes, 15 minutes. No flashlight, no 
luck. Something was wrong with my 
search. I felt like I was missing something 
big and I would never find my key until I 
did .. . until I did .. . did what?
Something kept telling me "First things 
first. Anita, first things first." I gave up and 
fell into the grass. I knew I would never 
find the key on my own. "God, please be 
my eyes. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. You
[Sp ritual Top 10
Top 10 Ways To Be A Disturbing Visitor At
A New Church
10. Yell "HI!" when you enter the lobby.
9. 
Hang up your coat, and then put on 
someone else's.
8. 
Sing the songs backwards.
7. 
When people kneel to pray, stand up.
6. 
When people get up from prayer, 
kneel.
5. 
Sit on the floor two inches from the 
pulpit.
4. 
Use the drinking fountain every 10 
minutes and say, "Now that's the Holy 
Water done right."
3. 
Eat your bulletin.
2. 
Instead of the word "amen," 
substitute "I guarantee."
1. 
Stand at the door with the pastor after 
the sermon and thank people you 
don't know for coming out!
know where my key is. I don't know where 
to look and I don't know what I'm missing. 
Help, please."
First things first.
I got up, and I looked down at my feet. 
My key was at the tip of my toes. I learned 
that night that the first thing should always 
be God. In all situations, good and bad, 
lost and found, prayer should be first. We 
are blind without God.
Oh, the first thing I did after I found mi 
Have was thank God for putting it in front 
of me. The second thing I did was a 
cartwheel.
The Injured Envy You
Michael Paradise
Squeak, click. Squeak, click.
Hear that? That is the familiar sound of 
Union's wounded moving about. Several 
young men and women on campus have 
recently been reduced to crutches. They 
mope 
around, 
scarcely 
enjoying 
themselves, and wishing to be fully healthy 
again.
What 
can 
we 
learn 
from 
our 
handicapped?
Many of us are sitting pretty in the pink 
of health. But we take it for granted. If the 
Lord has blessed you with two healthy legs 
of a healthy body, in any case, use them!
I recently sucked down my pride and 
became one of the many injured 
students when I tore a ligament in my 
knee. My injury required surgery, and I'll 
be out of sports for several months, maybe 
a year.
So what does my condition have to do 
with you? Well, as a guy who has 
been involved in sports throughout my 
entire life, I'm going to miss them. L, and
others like me, will not be able to 
experience the excitement of swishing a 
game winning 3-pointer. We will long for 
the 
enjoyment 
of 
running 
for 
a 
touchdown, smacking a base hit, or 
"accidentally" serving a volleyball off the 
head of an inattentive teammate.
Do you see where I'm going with this? 
Perhaps not. But allow me to 
clarify.
Take it from the disabled—be active! If 
your body is capable, you ought to utilize 
it by exercising, and/or playing sports. 
There are those who are able to run around 
the bases, but are not willing. If you are 
one of those, just know, the crippled envy 
you!
Get into sports for fun; sign up for 
intramurals. Even if you're the worst player 
on the team you can still have fun! Talk to 
Scott Wilde about joining the intramurals 
program. Tell him that Michael Paradise 
and the Crutch Bearing-Crew sent you.
^.nswers for the Crossword from pg. 2^^
"She's 
really 
looking sporty 
in this athletic 
inspired 
ensemble."
"Finding a way to 
combine fashion 
and function is 
essential 
for 
accesorizi ng. 
Backpacks can be 
fun 
as 
well 
as 
useful."
'Though not wel 
known to fashion 
experts, this trend 
has been popping 
up 
all 
over 
campus." 
,
Full of Fashion
Wow Union, fantastic fashion is a 
way of life here on campus. This month 
we decided to take a good look at you, 
our fellow students, to get an eye-full or 
your style sense. We were incredibly 
stoked to discover that you all are so 
fashionable. From following trends of 
today to creating new, unique looks,
This girl has 
really 
got 
it 
going on, in an 
elegant, 
yet 
chic skirt/shirt 
duo.*
^Amnesty 
International 
is 
one of the many 
clubs 
strongly 
supported around^ 
^ampus."_______ Lj
"Although 
the^ 
summer season 
is drawing to a 
close, flip-flops 
are still riding 
high 
on 
the 
fashion wave."y
Union students prove to be up and 
running with the world's trends. Look 
out Paris and Milan, Unionites are 
lready 
runway! Some of the
■rei^r*temWe noted, but not pictured 
here, 
nifty thrift store finds,
aqractit^iair clips and styles for the 
I lSies, and a vMety of stylish hats for 
■ mem Wer^iWrat we were unable to 
IcaptAe a lot of fresh fads on camera, 
Aut 
are grateful to those who eagerly 
agreed to be featured. Union, we 
commend you on your savvy and thank 
you for making our job enjoyable.
"these girls look 
ready for a fun 
night on the town 
in 
these 
long 
sweaters."
Morning People and the Rest of Us
By Cassie Milnes_______________________________________________________
There are two kinds of people in this 
world: morning people and the rest of us. 
First, let's discuss those bright-eyed, bushy- 
tailed people who say things like "Good 
morning, sunshine" to the rest of us. How 
do they do it?
I have a group of friends who wake up at 
5:45 every morning so they can make it to 
the pool promptly at 6:00 when it opens. 
What inspires them to keep such odd 
hours? I talked to one of my morning- 
loving friends. 
Apparently, she likes 
working out in the morning because it 
wakes her up and she has the rest of the 
day ahead 
of her to 
worry about 
homework and stuff.. . or something like 
that.
But enough about that. A good rule of 
thumb is "write what you know" and I 
know that I hate the morning. Let's take a 
look at the typical a.m. for someone like 
me. 
I usually hit the good old snooze 
button on the alarm clock three or four 
times. After I finally turn it off and resolve 
to get up, I blindly feel around the area 
surrounding my bed for my glasses and try 
to make it across the room without 
injuring myself.
Once I have successfully dressed myself, 
I shuffle off to 7:30 rhythmical aerobics. In 
my opinion, 7:30 is too early to function 
coherently, much less jump around the 
gym in a semi-orderly fashion. But there I 
am. 
Blankly I stare into space until
someone breaks my 
aimless concentration by 
asking something like, "So just how cold 
do you think it is in Minnesota this 
morning?"
Over the years, I have come to realize 
that mornings are a fact of life and I have 
come up with a few ways to cope with 
them. First of all, Mr. Coffee is a very good 
friend of mine, and sometimes I reward 
myself for getting out of bed on Monday 
morning by enjoying biscuits and gravy in 
the Chat. Ultimately though, going to bed 
earlier would probably inspire me to wake 
up earlier. But until then I will ask myself 
if the sun hasn't risen yet, why should I?
The Blonde Review: 
Paint Your Date
BnrJbizjind Eamhuz______________________
Dating is one of the most stressful 
ordeals for single men today. There are a 
million different things that Lincoln has to 
offer the young Romeo, but some of the 
best ideas are hard to find. That's why 
Bambie and I went hunting for a new and 
fun place to take a date or be taken.
We stumbled upon a small place in the 
Haymarket called The Creamery, kitty- 
corner to Jabrisco's. The building is full of 
interesting and appealing shops, but the 
two that interested us the most were Paint 
Yourself Silly* and Ivonna Cone. To test our 
date theoiy, we took one lucky blonde 
man, Brady (a. k. a. Jeff Carlson), on a date 
with us. "I've been on a date before," Brady 
confessed. "But never with two girls at 
once! This is sweet!"
Our first stop was Ivonna Cone. The 
menu was full of delicious treats, but one 
item in particular worried our friend. 
"Does this Turtle Sunday have real turtle in 
it?" Brady asked the man behind the 
counter, "Because I'm a vegetarian."
After our delicious treats were devoured, 
we walked into the other shop and got 
ready to "paint ourselves silly." The first 
step is to pick out a ceramic item. They've 
got everything from plates to piggy-banks.
Bambie chose a lovely cup, 
Brady, 
ironically, chose a turtle box, and I chose a 
Kleenex box cover.
With 
over 71 
regular paints, 
13 
"speckled" paints, and several puff paints 
the possibilities are endless. "The cost is 
pretty simple," the store manager told us. 
"It's about $6.60 for studio time and 
paints, plus the price of your item. 
Everything's taken care of for you, so sit 
down, paint, and enjoy."
Barbie: Wow. If I had any creative abilities 
past painting my nails and face, this date 
would rock! But luckily for me, once my 
make-up's on in the mornings, my brain 
totally stops. The ice cream was great, but 
now 1 can't eat for a week! (Gotta count 
those calories!) It seemed pretty good 
from the guy's point of view though. 
Great creativity points and it's hard for a 
girl to become an expensive date! (Believe 
me, I tried.) I give it a **♦*!
Bambie: I give it a whopping woo-hoo. 
This place is so much fun. 
Imagine, 
somewhere that allows you to make a 
mess, take home a fun something, and you 
don't even have to clean up after yourself!
Any guy who takes a girl there should get 
some major creativity points. Definitely a 
***** without a doubt. Definitely. For 
sure. Most positively. No question. Yep. 
I'm done now. Oh, and a side note, the 
Ivonna Cone place was good too. 
But 
please, if you order the Turtle Sunday, 
don't mention Brady's/Jeffs name or his 
current vegetarian status.
Brady: That was pimp, totally pimp.
* Paint Yourself Silly 
701 "P"St.
(402)474-1010
Blonde Review: *****
***♦*: Great from the Get Go
****: Thumbs Up
***: If You've Got Extra time
* *: Best of Luck
*: Better off Dead
Who Do You Call?
ApriLNielsen_
Student Health Busters
Who do you call when it is 1:30 in the 
morning and you realize you have food 
poisoning (not that any of the food 
around here would ever cause it)? Who do 
you call when you think you may have 
sprained your wrist playing racquet ball? 
Who do you call? A Student Health 
Assistant 
of course. 
You 
might 
be 
wondering, who are these people? How 
and when can I contact them?
Union 
has 
three 
Student 
Health 
Assistants who are available when Mrs. 
Gibson, our School Nurse, is not in the 
office. They are here to help you with 
minor medical needs. The Student Health 
Assistants are Kelly Dodds, Elysia Forde, 
and Crystal Schauer. Crystal Schauer 
agreed to answer some questions about 
being a Student Health Assistant.
April Nielsen: "Why did you become a 
Student Health Assistant?"
Crystal Schauer: "Mrs. Gibson asked me to 
do it and I think it is good experience."
AN: "What are your responsibilities?"
CS: "Since Mrs. Gibson is only in the office
for a certain amount of time, we are on call 
during the time she is not on campus. We 
can give over-the-counter medications and 
do assessments. We take turns being on 
call."
AN: "Do you have special training to do 
this job?"
CS: "Yes, Mrs. Gibson gave us a short 
orientation."
AN: "Do you have a medical kit?"
CS: "Yes, we have a medical kit with all the 
basics, band-aids and things that we might 
need."
AN: "Do people call you a lot?"
CS: "Yes, I am on call two days a week, and 
every other weekend. During every time I 
am on call, I get a least one call."
AN: "What kind of problems are too 
difficult for you to handle?"
CS: "Well, a compound fracture, where the 
bone is sticking out! We just deal with
basic problems like fevers, vomiting, and 
minor aches and pains."
AN: "Do you get paid?"
CS: "Yes, we get paid, but it is not very 
much. I am doing this job more for the 
experience than for the money."
AN: "What is the weirdest thing someone 
has called you for?"
CS: "No one has really called me with a 
fake or weird problem, everything has 
been pretty legit so far."
The Student Health office is located in 
the southwest corner of the basement of 
the Dick Building, room 006. 
Carol 
Gibson, the School Nurse, is there from 
8:30 to 12:00 noon Monday thru Friday. 
Mrs. Gibson is the person to go to during 
these hours if you have a medical problem. 
The Student Health Assistants can be 
contacted 
by 
phone 
or email, 
but 
remember, the Student Health Assistants 
are all students like us. So do not call them 
during times that you can go to Mrs. 
Gibson.
In Case You Wefe Wondering
Cassie Milnes
Most children stop believing in politicians 
at the age of seven.
* Banging your head against the wall burns 
150 calories per hour.
* 21% of us do not ms e our beds daily.
* 5% of us never make our beds.
* 80% of people sing in cars. (Makes you 
feel kinda sorry for the other 20% 
doesn't it?)
* Source: www.ahg.com
SD
AHS Interns: Spreadin’ their Wings, Doin’ their Things
Heather Kampf _______________________________________________________
Five Union College students spent this past summer working as interns at various Adventist Health Systems hospitals.
It was the second summer working at their locations for Adams and Warren. Christine To of the AHS Corporate Office is 
in charge of this student internship program. She will be on the Union College campus on November 15 for interviews.
Brian Adams 
Management 
Intern
Midwest 
Region, 
Chicago, IL
Stephanie
Vercio
Finance
Intern
Avon Park 
Hospital, 
Avon Park, 
FL
Mike
Mewhirter
Finance
Intern
Florida
Hospital,
Orlando,
FI
Tricia Haugen 
Management Intern
Celebration Health, 
Celebration, FL
Steve Warren 
Finance Intern
Florida Hospital, 
Orlando, FL
Earn $70 This Week And Up To $280 This Month 
By Donating Plasma
'Must have legal identification along with proof of local residency
500 DONORS 
NEEDED NOW!
No Appointment Necessary... 
Walk-in's Wecome
Bring this Ad For $5.00 Bonus on First Donation!
BioMedical Center
Call or stop by: 300 S. 17th Street
402 - 474 - 2335
I Open: Mon. - Thurs. 8:00 to 6:00, fri. 8:Q0 - 4:00; Sat. ,8f00> 12:00
Selective Amnesia
Israel. Knight____________________________
Okay. I'm annoyed. For the fourth 
time this week a terrible thing has 
happened to me. Like, what in the world?! 
This probably sounds confusing; very 
confusing. Okay, okay; let me start at the 
beginning. We as a society have a problem. 
We have a major problem. This problem is 
a contagious disease that 99% of the 
population unfortunately has. Selective 
Amnesia. Yup, that's what I call it. Doesn't 
sound familiar? Oh, you've probably seen 
it in people all around you. You just didn't 
recognize it.
I notice it all around me. Why, 
for example, I'll loan some money to a 
friend. Yeah, it's all cool with me; I know 
he'll pay it back . . . right. I just love the 
blank look on his face while he says, 
"What fifty dollars?" What fifty dollars my 
foot! Just because he can't remember it, 
and my other friends can't remember it, 
and uh, no one else can remember it. . . 
doesn't mean he didn't... oh shut up. I 
remember loaning him fifty dollars! Git.
Professors have to put up with it 
too. It's funny. They get this really 
"distinctive" look on their face when a 
student walks up and says, "That was due
today?!" I think the look is usually a "Why 
me? This student is going to beg for twenty 
minutes and waste my time. Wonderful." 
kind of look. But then again, professors are 
quite capable of having the same problem. 
"I said that?!", they'll say in shock while 
shuffling rapidly through their syllabus. 
Though according to one professor I know, 
maybe this isn't the professor's fault. This 
might be another strain of Selective 
Amnesia that inverts 
the condition 
amongst a population en masse. The 
students 
collectively 
get 
alternate 
memories of their professor's homework 
assignments generated in their head. Well, 
maybe alternate due dates at least. Right. I 
personally like the first theory better.
I've also been told that Microlab 
Operators have this condition at times. 
One 
CPTR220 
(Microcomputer 
Applications) student said he'd never 
before seen such a sudden mental 
retardation in anyone. It fascinated him 
how someone (A humble Lab Op.) could 
so suddenly become so clueless so often 
on so many things to do with his 
assignment. (Oh a mouse? SoTHATS how 
you move that little arrow thingy around!
Gee whiz.) It's amazing how nice and 
convenient this is. Err, I mean how utterly 
unfortunate that is. Sorry.
Alas, and alack. I'm certain that 
many of you out there have recognized 
these signs. I'd be a little worried if you 
hadn't. I think medical science should 
study this phenomenon and carefully 
analyze possible cures. Maybe set up 
Selective Amnesia clinics or support 
groups. (Hey, I bet that could be a lucrative 
business!) 1 hope it gets fixed. It is so 
annoying. 
Luckily, 
it 
hasn't 
started 
affecting me. Hmm, now where was I? Oh 
yes. Once again, I have utterly no idea what 
I'm talking about. And I have no idea how 
all of this has anything to do with the 
Microlab, really. I seem to have forgotten. 
Oops ....
By Tracy Faber
1. If you could go anywhere for Mid-term break, where would you go?
2. What was the last movie you saw?
3. What is your favorite color?
4. Where were you born?
5. What color are your eyes?
6. What is your favorite Saturday afternoon activity?
?. Who is the last person that you e-mailed?
1. Texas
2. Knight's Tale 
4. Rodgers, AR
6. Sleeping
7. My boyfriend
2. Summer Catch
3. Orange
4. Oshawa, ON 
7. My brother
1. Go find long lost 
relatives in Norway 
4. Grand Forks, ND
6. Visiting my friend, 
L-E-N-O-R-A
7. my friend Kelly P.
1, Amsterdam 
3. Blue
6. 357
7. Snoop Dogg
T
By Daniel Murauskas
' 
| 
■■ \ h \ S-''-Baldendasheru at Its Sufficient
his issue, I bring a plethora of holistic systemic variety. Please opine on the quote if you will:
I ask that you implement these forgotten words into your conversations so that you may love 
better (Blakesian, yes I know). Finally, I bring a veritable example of repeated expostulation, 
or double-speak, from one of your own. The reaction I desire to this third offering is for your 
own examples to be submitted. The example I (and a panel of blue ribbon judges) deem 
most suitable will occupy this space in the future. Quote: "Education at its best can only be 
applied to practical goals. It is not a practical goal in itself. On its own, education is an 
aesthetic goal."-Michael Covarrubias Words: Mawmsey-sleepy; stupid, as from want of rest, 
1879 Cephaleonomancy-divination by a broiled donkey's head, 1713 Exosculate-to kiss 
heartily, 1749 (ask me personally what cataglottism means) Fangast-a marriageable maid, 
1811 Double-speak: (I use my own because I am one of your own, and I know you can do 
better. Prove it.) Religious credit system: Mandatory volunteering of supplication to-^ 
ephemeral institutions administering ethereal retrieval of resolution deficiency 
compounded upon a psychological stasis of institutional conscriptionists.
Ask Answer Girl
\Ceri Myers
n-pressure environment. There's no 
need to stress over reading "signals" when 
you're just friends.
4. Communicate hofrestly. If and when 
you reach a point in yfcur relationship 
when it seemfe that one Jor both of you 
want to moveNbeyond/friendship, don't 
rely on mystical "signals" or telepathy. Use 
words to genuinely share how you're 
feeling. If there's clear communication, it 
will either form a stronger foundation for 
a good relationship, or a stronger bond of 
friendship.
Feelings can be hurt when one partner 
feels differently than the other about the 
relationship, but honesty and openness 
help tremendously. Most importantly get 
to know and appreciate yourself for who 
you are, and don't be preoccupied with 
reading signals. Confidence is attractive! 
Feel good about yourself, form strong 
friendships, pray for guidance. The rest will 
fall into place.
—A.G.
Have 
a 
question? 
E-mail 
askanswergirl@hotmail.com.
correctly by the other party, may be ' 
entirely different the next. *
So, this is one of the great mysteries of 
life. Here, however, are a few suggestions 
1 from my own experience as a girl.. . .
1. Look and listen. TryTtoJjeep your 
■^wn expectations and aJ^mpons out of 
“tne way,and listen as^^ffi®&vely as
possible to the words shes saying. Is she 
smiling? Laughing? Does she look like 
she's really enjoying herself in your 
company? These are positive, if not 
concrete, signs.
2. Don't rush things. In this whole 
relationship game/charade/enigma, there 
is a fine balance between pursuing and 
being 
pursued. 
Although 
both 
are 
certainly possible, in my experience, it's 
easier to scare someone off by moving too 
quickly than to lose someone's interest by 
moving too slowly.
3. Be okay with being just friends. 
Think about this: if you really want this 
relationship to last and be worthwhile, 
shouldn't you have a solid friendship 
base? Appreciate her for the person she is, 
and enjoy spending time with her in a
Dear Answer Girl,
Probably the most troubling thing my 
friends and I have contemplated irpour 
short stints upon this earth is how toyeacL 
a girl's signals! Would you pleaseTnhgQjii^ 
my gender and tell us some of tne'TjjlMQ 
women do to let us know if their^Muipk 
are mutual? 
V]
If we have no idea but we think there 
may be a possibility, when is the 
appropriate time to ask if the feelings are 
returned? How should we do it? Or 
perhaps, should we wait for the girl to say 
something?
—Valentine's Day Early Bird 
Dear Birdie,
I'd tell you to become a mind-reader if 
that would even help. The sad truth is that, 
barring supernatural psychic abilities, and 
perhaps even with them, there is no hard 
and fast way to read a girl's (or guy's, for 
that matter!) signals. And since as human 
we're changing constantly, the signals we 
send at one moment, even if interpreted
Intramurals So Far
dared Hibson
So now we're deep into the opening 
intramurals season. 
What have you 
thought of it so far? Have you experienced 
great thrills or deep disappointment? 
I 
know that for me personally it has been a 
roller coaster season. I greatly respect the 
philosophy my softball and football team 
captains' take: "If we win, that's great. If 
we lose, that's okay too." If you lose, it's 
okay; what a novel concept.
In 
nearly all 
the games 
I 
have 
participated in, I have seen excellent 
sportsmanship. I think that says volumes 
about the type of people we have here at 
Union. 
Everyone still has the ability to 
have fun despite the circumstances. 
Probably the most fun football game I've 
played in this year was a game that my 
team ended up losing. 
It was close the 
entire game and when we finally realized 
we would lose, we ended the game by 
playfully 
tackling 
the 
opposing 
quarterback in the end zone.
Football has been very challenging this 
year. I have managed to open the same cut 
on my elbow twice after it has healed. I 
hope this injury doesn't last for the next
four years. I ended up on one of the better 
teams, although they strangely seem to do 
better when I'm not playing. ("Hey guys, 
why am I on the sideline again? Guys?") 
Opposing players seem to enjoy running 
over me as if I were an errant log in front 
of a steaming locomotive. I like to make a 
lot of jokes during the game so that the 
other team thinks I'm mentally insane. By 
that time, they stop covering me and I'm 
able to make a fe\y decent receptions 
before they figure out I'm not actually that 
bad. I have yet to score a touchdown, but 
hopefully I can experience that nirvana 
before the season ends.
Softball has been very exciting this year. 
However, I think there need to be a few 
rule changes. The thing where outfielders 
have to stand behind the line when girls 
are up to bat has to go. I may be alone 
here, but I think that most of the girls at 
Union can hit the ball farther than I can. 
Why can't we change the rule to state that 
the outfielders stand behind the line for all 
weak batters? Makes sense to me. At the 
rate I'm going, 1 will set a new school 
record for most balls hit back to the
pitcher. 
How do you like that Barry 
Bonds? 
Speaking of sluggers, what's up 
with the rule that if a ball goes over the 
second fence it's an out? 
I know that's 
nothing for me to
worry about, but if you're a great power 
hitter like Seth Johnson, who is able to hit 
bad pitches over the second fence when 
he's not looking, then it becomes a little 
more personal. Just some things to think 
about for next year. Along with defensive 
ability. 
(Hmm, look who ended up in 
right field again).
The playoffs are beginning and the 
season 
is 
fading 
into 
memories. 
Remember how great everything was, the 
friendships made, the experiences shared, 
the time invested. Remember that whether 
you end up the champion or the last place 
finisher, it's all okay.
Special note: Sign-ups for Co-ed 
Volleyball begin October 8, and sign-ups 
for four person Men's and Women's 
Volleyball start October 24. If you missed 
intramurals the first time, get in on the 
action this time around.
Men's Varsity Basketball
iJosh Miller"' 
N.
Felix Alicea, Jr. (Junior)
Matt Gal (Junior)
Alan Guyton (Junior)
Andrew Larson (Junior)
Brandon Bowles (Sophomore) 
Mark Christensen (Sophomore) 
Carlos Mott (Sophomore)
Travis Ford (Freshman)
Brit Sigh (Freshman)
Matt Spickard (Freshman)
Ron Dodds (Coach)
Women's Varsity Basketbaj
[josh Miller
Kelly Casselman (Senior)
Tricia Haugen (Senior)
Lindy Page (Senit '
Stephanie Vercio (junior)
Erin Hieb (Sophomore)
Genny Pauls (Sophomore) 
Mandi Shissler (Sophomore) 
Codi Davidson (Freshman) 
Krystal Furst (Freshman)
Tara Hauen (Freshman)
Jill Kleven (Freshman)
American Mecca
Suzanne Current
United WE stand, in anger and pain,
In mourning and helping, in disbelief 
and rage.
Together we stand; linked hand in 
hand
Across ythe nation, Native American 
and Blackljew and Asian,
Mexican and White—hand in hand 
with Muslims and Arabs.
Americans United.
Brought together by an act of terror, 
Hand in hand we stand, connected, 
Joined in the American Mecca.
Thousands and thousands—miles of 
steel, of concrete, of glass.
A monument of American, Human, 
success.
A tower of records, business, growth, 
and life.
Heart of America.
Monument of glory, a tale of success,
A victory of people, encompassed by 
steel and concrete 
And glass.
The sprawling market place, a visit to 
the shrine
A luxury, a pillar, a victory, a source 
All symbols, in one, of the freedom 
that is mine.
Terror in the sky, Terror on the street. 
An attack, of Terror, on the American 
Heart.
An attack on the American way, the 
American dream,
American success.
Fire, flames, smoke and screams.
Death stalks the American People. 
Crumbling falling dust, debris, 
lives entombed, buried in the rubble 
of American Safety and Security.
Thousands and hundreds of victims 
declared.
Rubble and ruin descends on the 
square.
Outrage and vengeance pour fourth 
from our lips,
As grimly we seek among piled debris. 
Loved ones and lost ones jfrom 
Tuesday's Tragedy.
When rubble is gone, no dust or
debris, 
-
When lives are accounted or death
decreed,
When life continues—the American 
way, American dream.
When the foundation of Safety has 
fled in the night.
Remember the victims who died on 
their flight.
Remember the victims, the tower, the 
workers.
Your duty is this.
Remember Manhattan.
Remember New York.
Remember it's not about vengeance or 
war or anger or hate.
It's about the American Mecca—the 
American Dream.
A beacon of light on the world's hill. 
Freedom for all, may justice be done. 
American 
Mecca, 
Remember the 
rubble. Remember the fear,
But remember why we hold this land 
dear.
Suzanne Lizabeth 
19 September 2001
In memory of the World Trade Center 
and the Americans who lost their 
lives.
May our Nation be above vengeance 
and hate. For truly we are the leader 
of nations.
Brandon Horniaceck
The Art section is back; Crazier and more out of 
control than ever before! We're on a roll folks, but 
we need your help! 
If anyone has any poetry, 
photography, drawing, graphic design, painting, or 
any other type of art to display in this section of 
the clocktower, then give me a call at 486-2893, or 
email me at Brhornia@ucollege.edu, and I'll be 
more than excited to check out your work. This 
issue is jam-packed full of SUPER-TALENTED 
ARTISTS EXTRAORDINAIRE... And what's more, 
they're fresh!!
Just for me
Cale-Erindle_
Just for me, You took on a multitude 
That wanted to have you crucified.
You let the nail You to a cross 
And it was there that you died.
Just for me, You were flogged repeatedly, 
Your skin pierced by the thorns of the 
crown.
And You thought of me all the while 
As your blood ran to the ground.
Just for me You hung there in agony 
After they had driven all the nails.
They lifted you up next to thieves 
That were the scum of the jails.
Just for me, you watched those that You 
had loved
Laugh mockingly and spit in Your face. 
They were gambling for Your garments. 
You died for me and this race.
Just for me You hung there limp and 
lifeless
Blood and water falling from your side 
All of this You had done for me 
And we simply say "You died."
You speak Your very last words 
While you hang from up high.
All of this was for me 
To have a chance of eternal life.
Distraction
Today i sit,
I live.
Surrounded by the thoughts i breath 
aloud
in this emptiness.
Silence, yet only for a moment,
As i slip once again into the cacauphony 
of my own thought 
Lost in this maze of sound,
Falling endlessly 
towards something never found 
Today i sit,
1 live.
Art & Pictures
The Photograph
AmyJJaLinsky
Question of Authority or the 
Iamy Dolinsky 
Recovering Cynic
Condemnation
Sanctification
Where do I have the say?
I am one of the race
But I don't show my face
No need to come out of seclusion
What authority do I have?
I see violence, anger and shame,
But then I go and do the same.
I stare at the world and shout in its face 
But I seem to be shouting at the wrong 
place.
I cry at society to change their ways 
But maybe its me who needs the changing.
Nobody sees themselves 
It's ah the blame game 
"What did they do?"
"And whom did it screw?"
It's never their fault, but someone else's
What authority do 1 have?
I'm no different than the other 
I can't change the world,
I can only change me.
Trapped in two dimensions 
Are two faces that I see 
Faces that once took part 
In a vivid memory.
But now that time is covered 
In the blanket of the past 
We have changed immensely 
Since we've seen each other last. 
But at least I have this picture 
To remind me of us then 
To keep the memory in my mind 
Till we see each other again
On The Wings of the Storm
\Rrandon Horniachek
p.23 )
ACROSS 
50 Concern 
20 Edge
1 Flaw 
51 Against 
22 Group of rooms
4 Pfebe 
53 Jury 
23 Flower
5 Cap 
55 Beautiful view 
25 Male deer
12 Metal 
58 Medicine for cuts 
27 Flavor
13 Odor 
61 Var. of -a! (suf.) 
28 Knowledgeable
14 $.E. state (abbr.) 
62 Hanging rope 
30 Unhappy
15 Household (Literary) 
64 Watch 
32 Fairy
17 Beetle 
65 Pig pen 
36 Sack
19 Happening 
66 Angi-knock fluid 
38 Clubbed
21 _ Carson 
67 Auricle 
41 Pleasantly
22 Wise 
43 Chart
24 Help 
DOWN 
45 Luggage
26 Tableland 
1 Mother (slang) 
47 Age
29 Utilizers 
2 Form of be 
49 Flower
31 The Raven (Poet) 
3 Back out 
52 Number
33 Green 
4 Close in 
54 Carol
34 Indefinite pronoun 
5 Stadium 
55 Relative (slang)
35 Price 
6 Perform 
56 Feline
37 Tree 
7 Uncle (Prov, Eng.) 
57 Bad
39 Eastern state (abbr.) 
8 State 
59 Edu. Group (abbi
40 Number 
9 Former 
60 Ever (Poetic)
42 Water barrier 
10 Indicating ileum (comb, form) 
63 Exclamation
44 Pro 
11 Daughters of the American Revolution (abbr.)
46 Great lake 
16 Veer
48 Rove 
18 Goal