by greg rumsey 
guest writer 
A current staff member 
at Union and a former 
teacher here currently lead 
the list of candidates for the 
college presidency, and the 
less familiar of the two will 
visit the campus this week-
end. 
The names of Dr. Rich 
Carlson, 
director 
of 
C Am pus Ministry at UC, 
and Dr. David Smith, who 
has served the past several 
years 
as chair of the 
English 
Department 
at 
Southern 
Adventlst 
University, were presented 
to the Union College Board 
of Trustees last week as 
candidates. 
The 
Presidential 
Recruitment 
Committee has met fre-
quently since last fall to 
find a person to succeed Dr. 
John 
Kerbs, 
who 
announced at the beginning 
of this school year his and 
Mrs. Kerbs' plans to retire 
t.Mfl summer. 
Dr. Smith, who taught 
English here from 1979 to 
1981, 
and 
his 
wife, 
Cherilyn, who serves on the 
pastoral staff at the 8AU 
church, are expected to be 
at Union College for dia-
logue and get-acquainted 
sessions with our campus 
family this Friday through 
Monday. As the Clocktower 
went to press, the Smiths 
were scheduled to be avail-
able to come-and-go visiting 
with faculty, staff and stu-
dents in the Skyvlew Room 
Friday morning from 10:30 
to 11:30 and again Monday 
during the 
noon 
hour, 
12:00 
to 
1:00 
p.m. 
Additional times may be 
announced after they are 
on campus. 
D 
r 
Carlson, 
who is cur-
r e n t 1 y 
recruiting 
students and 
giving Week 
of 
Prayer 
meetings 
overseas, 
will 
meet 
with the col-
lege family 
about 
the 
second week 
of March for 
interviewing 
and sharing 
his 
visions 
for 
Union 
College as a 
candidate 
for the presidency. A grad-
uate of Union and a campus 
chaplain for the past 15 
years, he recently received 
his doctoral degree in edu-
cational leadership and psy-
chology at the University of 
Nebraska. 
"We are pleased that both 
of these men are Interested 
in being considered as can-
didates for this leadership 
position," said Dr. Lowell 
Hagele, vice president for 
academic 
administration. 
"We encourage all of our 
students, faculty and staff 
to take full advantage of 
these opportunities to get 
acquainted with them in 
light of this prospective role 
at our school." 
"The scheduling of these 
two candidates for meetings 
with our college family," 
Dr. Hagele added, "does not 
preclude the interviewing of 
additional candidates that 
the Recruitment Committee 
might reoommend." 
Coach Dodds celebrates his 100th win aa 
Warriors end season, (story page e> 
photo: Christine rosette 
by ateoar fcwnfias 
news! 
The weekend beginning 
February 
18, 
Union 
College hosted the second 
annual MAU basketball 
clinic. 
The clinic was 
accompanied by all the 
spills, thrills and chills 
which accompany a sport-
ing event of this magni-
tude. 
Total, the clinic 
included 24 games, three 
per team, with eight men's 
and eight women's teams 
and 205 individual partic-
ipants. 
While a sporting 
event demands some skill-
ful planning, and the fact 
that most everything went 
according to plan and 
schedule is important, the 
success of this past week-
end's tournament cannot 
be solely measured by 
Sportsmanship 
these factors. 
Perhaps 
more important is the atti-
tude 
which 
prevailed 
throughout the weekend. 
With so many different 
backgrounds, 
tempera-
ments, and referee theolo-
gies, it would seem that all 
one could do is hope that 
sportsmanship would pre-
vail. However, during this 
MAU basketball clinic, stu-
dents from ail academies 
displayed marked sports-
manship, which is the best 
argument against those 
who would say that com-
petitive sports have no 
place 
in 
our 
schools. 
When 
asked 
for 
his 
thoughts on the weekend 
activities, Ric Spauldlng 
(We "clinic" page 8) 
Digging for a New 
We May Have Hit Gold 
UC President 
editorial 
poensi epiphanies-i visions-. and other randomness 
by ed mejia 
I used to live in ghetto-halli I mean Culver-, and 
it was wonderful* 
I used to write love letters 
and poems to the warm glow of the full moon- Then 
I would 
shower 
in the 
partition-less 
showers-, 
come back and write more poems in my roach-motel 
of a room* 
Then I realized that they glowing 
full moon was just the clocktower* 
Disappointed-* 
I 
quit 
writing-* 
quit 
showering 
and 
moved 
to 
Prescott- 
Now I find inspiration in my flores-
cent desk light and I write one-lined poems* 
I 
still do not shower-i but I wash my hair out-
word of the week: syntholightspiration 
the three-coin mn line-up 
py Christine rosette 
I'm. sure that I'm the only 
one who's noticed that 
school'is stressful at times, 
even if it's one of those 
good days when there are 
no blank messages on the 
answering machines 8c only 
seven people have attacked 
me because their pictures 
weren't in the paper, col-
lege life produces a strain i 
find incomparable. 
there sire certain things 
which i find wonderful 
whenever i come across 
them in something i read or 
a lecture 1 listen to. 8c in 
order that we all might 
appear more competent 8c 
insightful, I'm going to give 
you all some real confi-
dence boosters, 
i'm going 
to list some words that will 
shock 8c astound 
your 
friends, perhaps you can 
use them to pick up dates 
while driving down 'o' or 
chatting at vespers. 
Just 
find a way to work these 
little gems into a hearty 
conversation 8c you're well 
on your way to being 
thought of as "smooth 8c 
knowledgeable." 
i should 
know, this is what i do 8c 
it works for me. here's the 
list. 
list: 
crepuscular 
decussate 
epaulet 
fylfot 
mendicant 
miasma 
oblation 
oppugn 
silvicolous 
witenagemot 
zaminduri 
i should also clue you in 
on one other fact about 
these words, some of them 
are chosen because they 
sound great when you're 
mad. you just put empha-
sis on different syllables in 
times of need 8c they 
become handy anti-swear-
ing tools, as well as making 
people think that you're 
bilingual, 
(example: "de-
cuss-ate. try it after you 
stub your toe. you feel so 
much better.) 
as well as giving you my 
special words today, I'm 
also going to clue you in on 
how to impress certain peo-
ple around our campus, if 
you would like to discuss 
something intelligible with 
those who would be marine 
biologists, simply ramble 
on about your last deep-sea 
diving trip 8c how you spot-
ted some ctenophore (a 
marine animal superficially 
resembling jellyfish but 
having 
decided 
biradial 
symmetry 8c swimming by 
means of eight meridional 
bands of transverse ciliated 
plates), 
to get cozy with 
your girlfriend's father, 
who is a doctor, tell 
you've 
a bad case of 
encephalomyelitis (inflam-
mation of the brain), 
if 
you'd like to snuggle right 
up to a north dakotan, you 
have to know a thing or 
two 
about 
cattle. 
to 
impress them with your 
knowledge of cattle food 
mention that mangelwurzel 
(a 
reddish-orange 
beet 
grown for cattle) is a 
favorite at your grandfa-
ther's farm, if that doesn't 
start the conversation right 
up, nothing will. 
lastly, i feel obligated to 
tell you that none of these 
words necessarily need to 
be used in any context 
whatsoever, just whenever 
you can slip them in will be 
fine, i love trying to dis-
sect a good article when i 
have no idea what the 
author is trying to say. it 
makes it all worthwhile 
when, after hours of care-
ful study, i have looked 
through several dictionar-
ies 8c thesaureses 8c now 
can say that i completely 
comprehend. 
in conclusion, i would 
encourage everyone to use 
wordp that no'one under-
stands. after all, the point 
is to communicate in ways 
that make you seem intelli-
gent 8c smart, you're here 
on this planet to promote 
yourself. 
it's all a big 
advertising campaign for 
you. you've got the politics 
in the bag. 
news 
'Clinic" from cover 
stated, "It was a very good weekend 
tournament. 
The friendly interac-
tion and comraderie between the 
academy students was good to see. 
He said he thought that the reason 
the tournament was such a success 
was because of those "who volun-
teered to help make this' weekend a 
success." While it is true that the 
sportsmanship of the visitors con-
tributed much, it is also important 
to remember the "sportsmanship" of 
their hosts. Union students shared 
rooms, bathrooms, meals and sup-
port of their favorite teams during 
the clinic. "I don't think I've ever 
seen so many high school students I 
sophomore Doug Briggman com-
mented. "I don't think I've seen any 
of my friends for a week, but it was 
cool to have [the academy students] 
here and watch them play." 
It was cool. Particularly in a time 
when a player's net worth is mea-
sured by stats, salary and mar-
ketability. 
UC had a weekend 
marked by hustle, sportsmanship 
and a lack of Spreewell-llke inci-
dents. It was a very cool weekend, 
underscored by the one thing that is 
so lacking everywhere else in 
sports: "the love." 
•I 
God Protects a Union College Student 
Escape from Accident Umarmed 
(A True Story) 
I 
crossed 
the 
Missouri 
River 
leaving Iowa on I-
80 at about 11:30 
a.m., according to 
the watch on my 
wrist that my uncle 
gave me for my 
high school gradua-
tion. 
I confidently 
pondered that 
at 
this rate, I would be 
on time to officiate 
at 
Culler 
Middle 
School in Lincoln 
after 
returning 
from winter break. 
I 
had 
already 
passed Omaha, and 
I set the cruise at 
78 m.p.h. and set-
tled back for the 
last stretch of the 
journey. 
"Oh, bother," I 
thought as my left 
tires slipped over 
the left side of the 
pavement. I let the 
car ride there in 
the mud for a sec-
ond before I pulled 
it back on the road 
like I had a hun-
dred times before 
in my driving expe-
rience. Back up on 
the road, I felt a 
chill as I realized 
something 
wasn't 
right. 
Seconds 
later my back end 
spun around. 
"There's 
NOTH-
ING I can do," I 
thought to myself, 
almost 
out 
loud. 
The 
car 
became 
dark for a second 
as 
I 
bounced 
around 
with 
my 
clothes, and books, 
glass and mud. 
I 
was rolling, and I 
couldn't 
do 
any-
thing. 
When the 
car finally stopped 
rotating, I unbuck-
led my safety belt 
and crawled out the 
broken window of 
my 
upside-down 
car. 
Though my 
car was 
crashed 
and 
caked 
with 
mud, I realized I 
was still perfectly 
safe-even 
my 
watch had survived 
without a scratch. 
I had a lot to be 
thankful for that 
by katy klootwyk 
day: 
My habit of 
seatbelt 
wearing, 
about 
twenty 
friendly 
Nebraskans offer-
ing assistance, my 
first 
ambulance 
ride 
with 
cool 
EMTs, 
Klaudis 
Qelumbauskas stop-
ping and offering 
me a ride back to 
school, my 'under-
standing 
work 
supervisor, my sup-
portive family and 
friends. I treasure 
each of these, but 
what 
I'm 
most 
thankful for is how 
I can always trust 
in God. 
Imovie review: 
by nAt.h«>.n blake 
Here's a little plug for the wonderful new 
EAST PARK theaters over on 66th 8c 0. 
Each of the three times I've attended a film 
there, I have enjoyed the luscious theater 
with the high-back super-comfy seats and 
complete visibility for all. 
As predictable as "The Wedding Singer" was, there was enough craziness that I was 
interested throughout most of my time spent at the theater. Adam Sandler was humor-. 
ously entertaining as usual, though in a lead-male-of-a-romantic-comedy sort of way. 
(But sometimes I had a hard time not seeing Happy Oillmore wooing Drew Barrymore-
Mr. Sandler doesn't have an amazingly diverse repertoire of acting capabilities.) And 
Drew, starring as the best-looking actress, seemed to be somewhat out of place, wearing 
relatively normal 90s-style clothing while everyone else sported large hair, tight flo-^ 
rescent pants, skinny ties and two pairs ofi 
socks. Also, the movie was riddled with horri-
ble eighties songs, many of which I thankful- | 
ly did not recognize, for I was born not that 
long ago. Every once in a while there would 
be a really fun frolic-happy out-of-control 
nifty song that made me want to get up and 
break dance, but those moments were few. 
Usually I just suffered through the atrocious 
tunes as Andrea and I enjoyed another 
halfway-enjoyable cookie-cutter 
romantic 
story with an extra helping of comedy. 
Mr. Sandler plays Robbie, the wedding 
singer who gets jilted at the altar. 
Ms. 
Barrymore plays Julia, a rather unhappily 
engaged waitress. I'll leave it up to the read-
er to try and guess what happens. 
Although I have a basic problem with most 
generic romantic comedies, this one was at 
least bearable and actually entertaining and 
probably even worth the $4.60 student-discount admission charge. 
Adam. Sandler plays Robbie 
In the new ooinedy 
"The Wedding Singer" 
photo: klmberly wrlght. © new line clnesia. all rights reserved. 
march 2. 1998 
"So Qod created man in bis own 
image, in the image of Qod He cre-
ated him; male and female He cre-
ated them. Qod blessed them and 
said to them, 'Be fruitful and 
increase in number; fill the earth 
and subdue it. Rule over the fish 
of the sea and the birds of the air 
and over every living creature 
that moves on the ground.9" 
Genesis 1:87-28 
Have you ever wondered what it 
means to be. in ^he, "image ^af. God"?. 
For the next few issues we are going 
to explore the first text in the Bible 
that mentions this concept. However, 
I must add that I am in no way 
attempting to create an entire picture 
of God. I do not Intend to put God into 
a box. What I am trying to do is to 
understand what God wanted us to 
know about us and Him in this one 
passage. 
There are three parts to the Image 
of God In this verse. The first one I 
would like to explore is found in verse 
28, "and subdue it." 
These three 
words are explained In more detail in 
verse 26. Now you might ask, "How 
is this part of the image of God?" The 
answer Is that we are rulers in the 
same way that God is a ruler. 
As human beings, we have complete 
control over our environment. There 
is not one animal that cannot be either 
tamed or killed by human beings. We 
also have the capacity to grow plants 
in any location, no matter what the 
season. 
Even for ourselves we can 
create a suitable environment around 
us. In our homes, even In our cars we 
can either heat or cool the air to a tol-
erable level. 
God is in control of the universe and 
of the earth. But He create us with 
the authority to rule this earth. Let's 
take that responsibility seriously! 
-Eric Hansen 
Religion and Sports: Do They Mix? 
A Union College basketball player of four years lets us know. 
"You better watch 
what you're doing!" 
"What did you say?" 
I asked. 
"Quit hitting me with 
your elbows!" 
"Why don't you say 
that to my face?" 
"Because 
your 
breath stinks and you 
better get out of my 
face." 
"I've 
had 
about 
enough of you. You've 
been hacking me all 
game long." 
"I haven't touched 
you! I can't help that 
you don't have a verti-
cal, so I've been swat-
ting everything that 
comes into the lane." 
"You're such a stu-
pid idiot. 
If the refs 
weren't here I'd take 
you out right now." 
"You wish. 
You 
couldn't even hurt my 
mama." 
•T. 
"Yeah, you may be 
right, but my mom 
could 
spank 
your 
mama." 
This 
conversation 
between two basketball 
players is how a lot of 
people perceive athlet-
ics today. These words 
do go on in the pros, 
college and high school, 
but I"m willing to bet 
that these conversa-
tions don't carry on as 
often as people think. 
I 
think 
the 
Nation 
Basketball Association 
(NBA) has given col-
lege and high school 
basketball programs a 
bad name. 
When I 
watch an NBA game, it 
seems like the players 
talk trash better than 
they 
play 
defense 
(except 
for 
Michael 
Jordan). 
I 
admit 
that 
the 
Union College men's 
basketball team Isn't 
perfect. 
But for the 
most part, there isn't a 
lot of extra talking that 
goes on. 
Coach Ron 
Dodds has taught us to 
respect our opponents 
and to represent Union 
in a positive way. 
I 
can honestly say that 
ALL the gays try to fol-
low that theme. 
As 
you can see, this is the 
building of a founda-
tion for ways that reli-
gions and sports can 
mix. 
Throughout my four 
years of playing bas-
ketball for the best col-
lege 
In 
the 
United 
States, I've received 
numerous compliments 
about our basketball 
team. 
Opposing play-
ers and fans have con-
fronted 
my 
after 
games, complimenting 
me on the team's atti-
tude and sportsman-
ship. 
We would talk 
for a while longer and 
then the people would 
want to know more 
about our school and 
religion. 
Because of 
these 
conversations, 
the general public has 
learned more about our 
Seventh-day Adventist 
beliefs and college. 
Secondly, many of 
the players have devel-
oped friendships with 
members of the oppos-
ing teams. Personally, 
I have become fairly 
close with players and 
coaches whenever we 
play. When the game 
is over, there is always 
time to visit and catch 
up with current and 
previous players from 
the different schools. 
Even 
though 
these 
players aren't my best 
friends, 
they 
are 
friends Just the same. 
I wouldn't trade these 
contacts for anything. 
The Union College 
men's 
and 
women's 
basketball teams have 
portrayed religion to 
God's littlest of friends 
as well. 
Members of 
each team have been 
working with the Big 
Brother and Big Sister 
programs for Lincoln. 
The players are provid-
ing a positive experi-
ence for these children, 
by todd essex 
at 
the 
same 
time 
exposing them to our 
religious 
beliefs. 
Furthermore, the two 
teams participate in 
events with children 
who come from homes 
of battered 
spouses. 
We try to swim with 
these children twice a 
year. Just our spend-
ing time with these 
kids and bringing joy to 
their faces Is a way 
athletics can mix with 
religion. 
I hope this article 
has 
given 
several 
examples of how reli-
gion and sports can 
intertwine. 
There are 
some people at ail lev-
els of athletics who 
bring 
a 
negative 
impact to the games. 
At 
the 
same 
time, 
there are people who 
participate in sports 
who bring sports a pos-
itive name. 
I speak 
from experience. It is 
Union College's student 
athletes' goals to be 
witnesses as well as 
players. 
Todd played his last game 
for Union this February. It 
resulted in a win for the UC. 
Warrior team. This was his 
last season with the 
Warriors, as he's graduating 
in May. Congratulations, 
Toddl 
devotionals By uc studentsW&? staff 
Have you ever tried looking at an issue from another's point of view? I did that recently with the 
popular TV show, "The Simpsons." I was astonished to see that there were very strong Christian 
values being advocated! This Is the TV show that caused all Bart Simpson paraphernalia to be 
banned In my public school district. Is it possible that this show has taken everyday life situations 
to an extreme exaggeration in order to reveal to the viewers the Inconsistencies in their lives? 
Pastor Rich once said that God can use the bad things In our lives to bring us good things. Would 
God use something as blatant as Bart Simpson's disrespect to his parents to bring a change for the 
good In someone's life? 
-Contributed by Eric Hansen, senior 
"Shall We Dance?" 
a & e 
My 
interest 
in 
Japan 
(basically 
anything and every-
thing 
Japanese) 
originates from my 
younger 
brother, 
who is a student 
missionary teaching 
English in Tokyo. 
He sends me all 
kinds of cool stuff 
ranging from mqji 
candles to shirts and 
print club pictures 
all 
covered 
with 
kortfi (which looks 
like hieroglyphics to 
me, although I hear 
to some it's actually 
understandable). 
Last summer he 
came 
home 
from 
Japan to visit for a 
few weeks and he 
Insisted that we go 
see 
"Shall 
We 
Dance?" I was excit-
ed 
about 
the 
prospect of seeing a 
Japanese film until I 
heard it was all in 
Japanese 
(English 
subtitles). "How will 
I even erjoy the 
film?" I wondered. 
"I'll waste half the 
time 
reading* and 
miss all the acting." 
Plus, movies in sub-
titles are not usually 
seen with a family 
member. 
But after several 
agonizing, 
minutes 
and a whole lot of 
begging, 
pleading 
and promises of per-
fect translation by 
my almost-fluent-in-
Japanese-if-spoken-
slowly brother, we 
entered the theatre. 
I had expected that 
we would have the 
best seats in the 
house, 
being 
the 
only ones 
sucked 
into seeing a foreign 
film and all. But to 
my 
surprise 
and 
ultimately 
disap-
pointment, the the-
atre wa packed! We 
almost had to sit in 
the front row, an 
advantage of which 
would be that the 
subtitles are larger 
than life. 
Then the film began. 
Sugiyama, a tired 
and 
overworked 
businessman is the 
main character of 
the film. He works 
on salary and has 
Just managed to buy 
a home for his fami-
ly. He must travel 
over an hour by 
train from his new 
home in the suburbs 
to his office each 
day. 
One evening as he 
is standing crushed 
amongst the many 
people 
on 
the 
express train, 
he 
happens to look up 
and sees a beautiful 
girl gazing out of a 
window 
of 
the 
Klshikawa school of 
dancing. 
He 
is 
immediately drawn 
towards 
her. 
Several days later, 
after much delibera-
tion, 
he 
shyly 
enrolls in the begin-
ners class with sev-
eral 
other 
men, 
entering a 
secret 
world of Japanese 
who hide their love 
of dancing in fear of 
ridicule from rela-
tives and co-work-
ers. The girl seen at 
the window turns 
out to be a champion 
dancer 
who 
has 
recently broken up 
with 
her 
partner 
and Is teaching pri-
vate lessons for her 
father's studio until 
a suitable partner 
can be found for 
her. 
Watching 
the 
three men in the 
beginner class stum-
ble 
awkwardly 
through the steps to. 
the rumba, cha-cha. 
and tango is delight-
ful fun. 
Dance 
becomes an integral 
part of their lives. 
Sugiyama begins to 
practice at home, 
and at night in the 
park. 
His dqjected 
spirit is gone and he 
has a new spring in 
his step. 
Mrs. 
Sugiyama 
begins 
to 
worry 
about her husband's 
late hours and the 
new change in spirit. 
Fearing he is having 
an affair, she hires 
a private detective 
to find out what 
keeps him away so 
much. 
When 
Sugiyama enters the 
Eastern 
Amateur 
Ballroom 
Competition with an 
advanced 
female 
student, 
the 
film 
takes a surprising 
turn of events. 
The style in which 
./ff&ffitjri was i/rrttteh^ 
pi^vides^ niimerous ' 
moments of unex-
pected good-natured 
humor along with a 
thought-provoking 
insight 
to 
the 
Japanese 
culture. 
The cinematography 
is excellent, lending 
an authenticity to 
the picture of life in 
Japan. 
You don't have to 
be a foreign film 
Junkie to appreciate 
the beauty of this 
film. However, you 
might want to brush 
up on your speed 
reading for the sub-
titles. 
(Don't 
miss 
a 
chance to see this 
and 
many 
other 
award-winning films 
at the Mary Riepma 
Ross Film Theatre 
on 
12th 
and 
0. 
Check your ASB dis-
count book for spe-
cial 
2-for-lv rate 
ouapj wsT fxaa ertt '.rc^ 
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by wendy barnea 
Paxil Britain goes for the shot In 
the Warriors last game this season 
photo: Christine rosette 
Coach Dodds looks on from the 
bench as the Warriors play 
1 
photo: Christine rosette 
1 
L 
. 
J 
Lakers 42 
In a rematch of an earlier contest, Eric Fly's 
Lakers came back in style. Going into the second 
half this game was actually somewhat close, with 
the Lakers holding a 5-point lead at the 
half. But Eric Fly was simply too much for the 
Celtics to handle in the second half, scoring 13 of 
his game high 23 points In the decisive second. 
Hawks 49 
Magic 60 
From what I can decipher from the book, the 
Magic won this game as the above score shows, 
but most anything else is sketchy. 
From all 
appearances, Antonio Cano scored 15 or so 
points (not very clear on this point) to lead the 
Magic. Ugh. 
Bulls 66 
Clippers 44 
Wowi Someone actually beat the Clippers I Led 
by the duo of Chad "The Garbage Man" Stuart 
(17 pts) and Brian Snider (20 pts), the Bulls 
were able to pull off a stunning upset of the 
Clippers. Although Mike Kendall finally found 
the range for his jump shot, it wasn't enough to 
keep the Clippers in the game. 
Knlflks 27 
Pacers 63 
In a game where faculty was calling for the 
oxygen masks before it was eveti half time, the 
Pacers never let up on the shorthanded faculty, 
and blew them out of the gym by one of the 
largest margins of victory we've seen so far this 
year. Contributing factors may have been that 
Ron Dodds and Brad Forbes were not at this 
game. 
Greg Steiner led all scorers with 11 
points. 
Celtics 61 
Bulls 62 
This was the beginning of the conference play-
offs. Early on it looked bleak for the Celtics, 
missing their center Jeff Deming. 
But as the 
game wore on, the Celtics were able to hang in 
the game, never giving up. In the second half, 
both Dave Ritter and Brent Page blew up, almost 
single-handedly carrying the Celtics to a victory. 
Dave Ritter exploded to lead all scorers with 29 
points. 
ty nick book 
The Warriors finished their season in style by 
pulling out a tough victory against a scrappy 
Calvary Bible team. The Warriors had a sub-
stantial lead until late in the game, when 
Calvary Bible hit a couple of key three-point 
shots, pulling them back Into the game. But 
Union hit their free throws down the stretch, 
and held on for a season ending victory In what 
was senior Heidi Widicker's last game as a 
Warrior. The game ended with Calvary Bible at 
40, Union at 41. 
sports 
U^warriors end their 
season with victory 
by nick book 
'Coach Ron Dodds got his 100th win 
with a tough season-ending victory 
over Calvary Bible College. 
.The 
Warriors came out hard and never let 
up! All game execution was the key to 
their offense, and everyone was play-
ing hard and hustling. 
Todd Essex, 
playing in his last game as a Warrior, 
scored a game-high 29 points while 
pulling down 21 boards. The Warriors 
also had six piayers in double digits for 
scoring! 
This was the final game for a few 
Union College seniors. Brian Carlson, 
Todd Essex, and Aaron Fritz will sorely 
be missed. As each of those players 
left the game, the crowd gave them a 
standing ovation, honoring their hard 
work over the last 4 years. On getting 
the 100th win of his career, Coach 
Dodds said "It would have never been 
possible without players like we had 
this year!" The game between Calvary 
Bible and Union ended with Calvary at 
90, the Warriors at 113. 
Bawling 
Every Sunday morning, Unionites have 
been prying open their eyes, and heading 
down to the Bowling Alloy for some intra-
mural action. 
That's right! 
Bowling 
Intramurals. 
Joe Parmele headed up a 
new intramural sport at Union College this 
year. 
Teams are made up of four bowlers, each 
established their handicap at the beginning 
of the year with their first three games on 
the first Sunday morning. After that, the 
teams went up against each other head to 
head each week. 
Now we really know why Joe Parmele 
spearheaded bowling intramurals, because 
right now he is dominating the men's aver-
age category with an incredible 160 per 
game. Nancy Petta isn't far behind with 
the high women's average high of 162 per 
game. In the load of the team competition 
is Team #1: The Wrath. This team is com-
prised of Travis Rein, Rochelle Gillham, 
Jenny 
Strieker, 
and 
Eristofer 
Westermeyer. 
But there are still three 
more weeks to go, so it's open territory 
game in both the singles and team compe-
tition! 
Sports Picks 
** 
Ijy nick book 
Co-Sportsman of the Week-Todd Essex, for 
his 29 point/21 rebound effort in Union's 
last 
game of the seasonl 
Co-Sportsman of the Week-Dave Ritter for 
his 29 points in his teams intramural vic-
tory over the Bulls. 
Sportswoman of the Week-Heidi Widlcker 
for her 4 years of work and dedication to 
the 
Warriors Women's Basketball Team. 
"you can't take it with you"' 
The sycamore family leads an 
unconventional life in which 
each family member is encour-
aged to pursue his and her 
individual interest- Penny 
writes playsi Essie dancesi Ed 
printsn Paul manufactures 
fireworks^ Grandpa attends 
graduations and keeps snakes. • 
Daughter Alice wishes to marry 
Tony Kirbyi but the stuffy 
Kirby family must first learn 
to adjust to the Sycamore's 
lifestyle- 
The comedy really 
fires up when the Kirbys show 
up for dinner at the Sycamore 
home at the wrong evening-
play times are as follows: 
inarch 12 a 7 pm — 
UC Staff & student previe 
march 14 a fl:3D pm — 
Opening night 
march lb a 7 pm — 
college days performance 
april 2 a 7:30 pm — 
dinner theatre for alumni 
april 4 a fl pm — 
open performance 
april 5 a 7:00 pm -- final performance 
• 
• 
opinion 
Oh, joy and rapture I 
My Pollyanna-ish mood 
is overl 
To celebrate 
xny return to this love-
ly state of relatively 
stable crankiness, 
I 
will honor pet peeves. 
That is right, I am 
devoting this column to 
things 
that 
really, 
truly irritate us. 
In 
this 
issue 
we 
will 
metaphorically 
link 
arms in support and 
acknowledge the anger-
nay, the hatred we feel 
toward/-^ people ± • that 
•s^tfc&ze the''toothpaste 
tube' in th6Jmiddle, take 
up two parking space, 
chew with their mouths 
open, and wait until 
they get to the counter 
at fast food places to 
figure out what they 
will order. This is the 
issue in which 
our 
mutual dislikes 
will 
draw 
us 
together, 
bonding us for all time. 
Enough with the Intro, 
let's get to business. 
I gotta be me 
I hate it when signif-
Not-So-Favorite Things 
leant others try to rein-
vent me. 
It starts 
innocently 
enough, 
asking me what my 
Interests and hobbies 
are, and leads into the 
high-pressure 
sale. 
Yes, all that Innocent 
chatter 
leads 
into 
demands and relation-
ship ultimatums. "You 
have 
to bike, 
vote 
republican, job, snow-
board, exercise with 
me, 
watch 
scary 
movies, go back-pack-
ing, wakeboard, and be 
fah&tever y li b; thinks I 
want in a woman at 
this fleeting moment." 
These are not fiction-
al or exaggerated, I 
have endured 
every 
single one of them via 
both the straight-for-
ward and implication 
methods. Very seldom 
is the "or else" end of 
the ultimatum actually 
stated, but I end up sin-
gle. 
Ironic? 
What 
peeves me about these 
ultimatums 
is 
the 
Implication that I am 
.not good enough if I 
don't comply with the 
demands. I might not 
mind trying some of 
the things listed, but I 
don't like dealing with 
terrorists. 
Laundry timA 
There is nothing at 
all quite parallel to the 
frustrations of getting 
your clothes washed 
and dried in Rees Hall. 
You toss a sopping load 
of whites into the drier 
and start the cycle, 
only to realize that you 
forgot a dryer sheet. 
Racing to your room to 
get one, you come back 
to find your 
clean 
whites on the laundry 
room floor. 
I think 
that 
this 
irritating 
laundry 
experience 
may 
be 
topped 
by 
another 
all-time 
favorite 
among 
the 
gifted laundry crimi-
nals 
in 
Rees Hall. 
Instead 
of 
merely 
inconveniencing their 
neighbors, these crimi-
nal minds opt to steal 
an entire load of laun-
dry. 
Aside from the 
obvious, 
stealing 
is 
wrong, why would any-
one take the entire 
load? It seems like a 
criminal version of the 
lottery. 
Bad drivers 
To put it mildly, this 
topic set off sparks. 
People had all sorts of 
driving irritations, so I 
will just list the things 
that have been said. 
•People who don't 
use turning signals or 
don't turn them off. 
•Rude drivers. 
•When women put on 
their make-up while 
driving. 
•Crooked 
parking 
and taking up 
two 
spaces. 
•Tailgaters. 
•People that take too 
long to merge onto the 
freeway. 
•Nebraska drlvers-
this one was very pop-
ular. 
Mind your manners 
Rude people irritate 
Don Bush and my sis-
ter, 
Jenelle. 
Let's face it, life f 
has 
enough 
down times with-
out counting all 
the gross, incon-
siderate 
and 
dumb things peo-
ple 
do. 
Whatever could I 
be referring to? 
People 
who 
stare, let doors 
slam 
in 
your I 
face, don't chew I 
with 
their I 
mouths 
closed, I 
treat the. oppo- I 
site gender poor- I 
ly, interrupt and | 
dominate conver- I 
sat ions, don't 
cover 
their coughs, Invade 
your personal space 
(18-inch rule), 
grab 
things 
out of 
your 
hand, and get physical-
ly amorous in publlc-
that is what I'm refer-
ring to. 
The one thing about 
getting amorous in pub-
lic is, from all accounts 
and Roland, a big deal 
right now. 
He was 
pondering whether it Is 
okay to cheer 
and 
applaud while couples 
engage 
in 
public 
exploits. 
A word of 
warning to 
all 
the 
gooey, romantic sorts 
out there-- don't antag-
onize the rest of the 
student body. We are 
stre s sed 
out enough not to care 
what we do. 
Rub-a-dub 
During our last little 
convocation/town 
meeting, a fed-up Rees 
Hall resident made an 
extravagant 
request: 
shower 
drains 
that 
drain. To those who do 
not reside in Rees Hall, 
this request may seem 
odd. To those who do 
live there, it may seem 
overdue. What are we 
complaining 
about? 
Every day Rees Hall 
residents wander into 
the 
bathroom, 
eyes 
barely open, turn on 
the water in the show-
er, shampoo, and, just 
as they aire rinsing 
their hair, something 
furry floats through 
the 
standing 
water, 
brushing 
past 
their 
ankles. 
Luckily, it is 
usually a hairball and 
not a sewer rat. I don't 
think that asking for 
an end to the cesspool 
situation is too much, 
really. 
**** 
I haven't changed 
the world or made a 
positive difference or 
said anything nice, but 
it was fun. Now we 
are bonded for all 
time, made strong by 
our mutual irritations. 
Make a toast and take 
your prozac. 
r 
On thel 
Pet Peeve List: 
Nebraska drivers 
-this one wa« 
very popular, 
humor 
Lecture Light Shine #4 
Union College Survival Guide - Session 2 
by Jeff bpyd a? brian gibson 
Welcome to our con-
tinued series on sur-
viving UC. cjeff and 
I hope that you have 
really 
found 
our 
advice useful in con-
fronting the tremen-
dous problems you 
encounter in your 
dally lives. If this is 
your first time read-
ing our column (we 
hear 
from 
avid, 
rabid fan that inter-
est in our column is 
reaching 
cult-like 
Intensity), 
we 
encourage you to dig 
through old piles of 
Clocktower and cut 
out our articles as 
they may be refer-
enced 
in 
future 
columns. 
Today 
we 
are 
going 
to 
address 
what could be a very 
sensitive, 
complex 
issue. 
LOVE. 
We 
especially want to 
speak to those fresh-
men who are wor-
ried about all the 
dating options here 
at Union. (NOTICE: 
We are not necessar-
ily experts in this 
field. 
When 
we 
related our experi-
enced) 
of 
dating, 
you need to realize 
that this was IT.) 
We hope that our 
description will help 
you as you navigate 
Union's 
tunnel 
of 
love. 
Thanks 
to 
Mrs. 
Wy song's 
College 
Success 
class, 
we 
were not forced to 
asked girls out for 
our first dating expe-
rience. 
Class mem-
bers could get extra 
credit 
if 
they 
planned and carried 
out a creative date. 
Being the 
dashing 
young chumps that 
we were, we simply 
waited for the phone 
to ring. Jeff bought 
an 
answering 
machine to screen 
out all the callers 
that we knew would 
be lighting up our 
lines. 
After four 
days we decided we 
should run to the 
cafeteria 
and 
get 
something 
to 
eat, 
because our stock-
pile in the room was 
getting low. Luckily, 
we lived in Prescott 
Hall so the bathroom 
was 
close 
enough 
that we could still 
hear the phone ring. 
Ring! It was an on-
campus call and I 
dove for the receiv-
er. It was Shawn S. 
apologizing for not 
getting Motoki out of 
bed (that is for our 
avid, rabid fan who 
actually 
read 
our 
last article). 
Ring HI This time 
Jeff 
showed 
his 
pure, 
freshman 
speed (also noted in 
our last article), and 
answered the call. It 
was 
Brooke 
and 
Cindy. 
They had 
planned a creative 
date for extra credit 
points and wanted 
us 
to join 
them. 
After a quick review 
of identities, thanks 
to the PG, we gladly 
assented 
to 
this 
adventure. 
The date was set 
for 
a 
September 
Friday evening after 
vespers. Jeff and I 
could hardly contain 
ourselves during the 
service. To this day, 
we remember every 
other vespers that 
year, but that one 
has slipped from our 
minds. 
After ves-
pers, 
Jeff 
and 
I 
changed our clothes 
and met Cindy and 
Brooke in Prescott 
Hall lobby. 
Rain 
drizzled in our hair, 
plummeted down our 
cheeks, and mixed 
with our tears as 
Brooke and Cindy 
explained that they 
did not have a car. 
"Let's just 
take 
these bikes," they 
suggested, as they 
pointed 
to 
some 
bikes in front of the 
Dean's 
apartment. 
Jeff and I glanced at 
each other with that 
I've-never-stolen-
anything-before look 
as we weighted the 
very real possibility 
of spending the night 
at the State Pen. 
"Sure," we finally 
agreed. After all, we 
were merely fresh-
men. 
Our dates led us 
down Normal Blvd. 
to the far end of 
Antelope Park where 
we 
finally 
found 
shelter in a covered 
picnic area. We hud-
dled around a small 
heap of charcoal bri-
quettes that burned 
like asbestos in a tub 
of ice-cold Diet Rice 
Dream. 
Cindy and 
Brooke began pulling 
delicacies 
out 
of 
their 
backpacks-
Martlnelli's, 
Pillsbury 
Instant 
Dough, horseradish 
salad, and blueberry-
sauerkraut pie. Jeff 
and I eagerly fin-
ished 
off 
the 
Martlnelli's and then 
suddenly 
realized 
that supper in the 
cafe 
had 
been 
extremely 
filling. 
Besides, time 
had 
simply flown by and 
we had never been 
late for room check 
before. 
We 
jumped 
on 
those 
dumb 
bikes 
and pedaled -back to 
Union as fast as we 
could. We could hear 
faintly behind us the 
calls of Cindy and 
Brooke, 
yelling, 
tt There's still a little 
more 
horseradish 
saladr 
As we look back 
on 
those 
crazy 
times, Jeff and I 
agree that our first 
date was pretty awe-
some. 
Brooke and 
Cindy were adven-
turous, fun and com-
fortable 
to 
be 
around. 
It turned 
out that the ladies 
had arranged for the 
bikes, so Jeff and I 
didn't end up spend-
ing any time in the 
slammer. 
Everything worked 
out okay, and the 
date is one that we 
look back on with 
fond memories. 
After this success-
ful date, Jeff and I 
were inspired to plan 
a creative date of 
our own (not that we 
needed extra credit). 
We concocted quite 
an 
evening 
that 
included 
croquet, 
paddle boats, 
and 
Hazel 
Abel 
Park. 
The only thing miss-
ing was the women. 
We tried to ask a 
couple . of. girls put, 
,but-. .they ?_didn'<£ 
answer the phone 
the 
one time 
we 
called. 
That pretty much 
sums up our fresh-
man 
year 
dating 
lives. In conclusion, 
that 
pretty 
much 
sums up everything. 
If you were wonder-
ing, 
Brooke 
and 
Cindy are creative 
names we came up 
with to protect those 
actually 
involved. 
To reconclude, we're 
done. 
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Clodktowep staff writers seeded, 
please contact Christine rosette at x2844 or x2091 
for more information, amazing fame 8c fortune 
will follow your career at the school newspaper, 
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11 
iMProMPtu 
Julio Borraroo, amta* 
"I admire Danny (cafeteria cook) 
for enduring third-degree burns 
on his hand so we could have a 
hot plate of beans for dinner." 
Dan Rldkard, Junior 
Erin Wlabey, freshman 
Heidi RlzQs, sophomore 
"Dr. Preidline because he displays 
a Christian attitude and he really 
cares about his students." 
Darrell Schultz, sophomore 
Who do you admire 
on this campus? 
Wliy? 
"Anyone who doesn't have to 
spend their whole day in the 
library studying." 
"Dr. Kerbs because he's the only pres-
ident/principal I've ever known that 
everyone really likes. 
Also my 
favorite human-clone candidate." 
"Jared Still because he can juggled 
with the masters...and he's just 
the man." 
Alblgenslfl Sadat, freshman 
"Joe Parmele because he is cool." 
Beth Johnston, sophomore 
"Dr. Simmons became she is real-
ly patient with students and wants 
to help them." 
Renae Wehling, senior 
"The nursing instructors because 
of their dedication of energy and 
time to the nursing students." 
cinnamon dobbs 
Hey, boys and girls/ The time has come once again for ASB Bowling night It will be Saturday night 
March 7. The theme is green/ Yep, that's right anything green will do. The more green the better 
And of coarse there wil be prizes for the overachievers out there. 
So come on ocit to Fbrkway Lanes this Saturday night but be sure to sign up on the 
sheets that will be in the dorms later this week. Ok_bye. 
— Jill Searies