"We reported 
to you that the 
president had an ingrown pimple. You 
guys are heating a dead horse here." 
-White House spokesman Mike 
McClurry, to reporters who persist in ques-
tioning him about the president's health 
records. 
Newsweek September 23,1996 
Quote dujaur 
4 4 People who don't 
Think don't have 
Brains; rather," they 
have grey fluff that's 
blown into their 
heads by mistake. ) J 
-Wirmie-the-Pooh 
* 
Nebraska 
trails beckon 
bike-a-holics 
Craig Unterseher 
Reporter 
Hi. My 
" 
name is Craig, 
and I'm a bike-
aholic (You say, 
"Hi Craig."). Bicycling, in varying levels of 
intensity, has been part of my life since I 
first screamed at my dad to leave me alone 
because I was going to teach myself to ride. 
Thirteen years and hundreds of contusions, 
lacerations, and bruises later, I still bike. 
Three questions I'm often asked 
are where do you ride in Lincoln, what do I 
need to get into biking, and when are you 
going to cut your hair (one of these days, 
mom, promise)? I'll answer the first two. 
As I hope you've been off campus 
enough to notice, we have a definite lack of 
mountains in eastern Nebraska. Therefore, 
"mountain-"biking is a little hard to come 
by, but Wilderness Park does a decent 
impression. The majority of the trails are 
double-track or wider and offer a great 
Sabbath afternoon ride. 
Find the secret 
entrance to the single-track or the jumps and 
you're in for a treat. Be aware, however, 
that Wilderness really holds moisture after a 
rain, so be ready for muck and dead leaves 
so thick your brakes and derailleurs lock up. 
See Bike on page 6 
Trista Nelson 
Reporter 
Where 
are U at? How 
about 
center 
stage 
of 
the 
Western 
Hemisphere. 
Impressed? We are. If you came looking for 
a college that has it all going, you've came to 
a college which values spirituality, whose 
professors don't mind talking to you after 
class, where students from different countries 
and Americans from both coasts come togeth-
er. Since it seems to be such a happening 
spot, who's making it all happen? Why, it's 
U of course. 
How many interesting people have 
you met? I've met several. I can't do per-
sonal introductions just yet, but I can tell you 
a little bit about who's here this year. There 
are 217 gentlemen enrolled, and all of them 
will be pleased to note that there are 285 
ladies here too. Union is a training ground for 
the real world. 
Much of our student body is made 
up of people from good ole Nebraska, but 
take a look around and you'll soon notice that 
not everyone looks or talks like you. So, 
where are they from? A brief list includes the 
Marshall Islands, Korea, Ukraine, Japan, the 
Philippines, Mexico, and my favorite, the 
Bahamas. 
What are all these people studying 
here at Union? The most popular major is 
Nursing at 13.7 percent, but the P.A. program 
comes in a close second with 9.2 %. 
The most popular months for birthdays are 
September and April and the least popular is 
January, not that you had anything to do with 
it. Just thought maybe you'd have a better 
chance of getting that special someone an E-
mail at least in the right month. Most of the 
student body is 19 years old. So, maybe we 
just have a bunch of old freshman or perhaps 
very young seniors. Hmmm. 
I interviewed people from several 
places in the U.S.A. and one from overseas, 
just to get a taste of who's here this semester. 
Anthony Stroud, a freshman from Auburn, 
Washington came to Union to become a 
physician's assistant. When asked why he 
chose Union, he said it was because they had 
the P.A. program. He also mentioned that he 
has several relatives on the staff. Usually that 
is why people choose a different college, but 
not Anthony. I asked him what he thought of 
the spiritual atmosphere and activities provid-
ed for the students and here's what he had to 
say. "They are fine, but could be more upbeat 
and up to date." He also mentioned that the 
churches he is used to attending are much 
See rtamn on page 2 
Proud to be Unionites in 1912. A few things have changed between then and now. Get 
the scoop on who we are right now. (Story on pages 1 & 2) 
V-balL promises action 
Vanessa Bolejack 
If you've 
Reporter 
observed some 
bruised-kneed, 
sore-armed stu-
dents beaming about getting an awesome set-
up, your first thought may be to search the 
pews next Friday night for the new couple. 
You'll probably have better luck going on 
down to the Thunderdome to be a part of the 
most law-abiding way on campus to witness 
killing, hitting, spiking, digging and, of 
course, set ups. We're talking volleyball! 
That's right, boys and girls...you 
thought Tara Cross-Battle was exciting, but 
wait'11 you see Union College's very own 
volleyball team. And we're not the women's 
volleyball team, we're THE volleyball team. 
Led by the coaching staff of Joe 
(Parmele), Mike, Jim, and Ron, the team is 
ready to go. Some of our games are away so 
if you are a Super-Stud volleyball team 
groupie cheerleader (for club info call 2793) 
don't hesitate to show up. 
check it out! 
Union volleyball line-up and -
schedule on page 9. 
Never underestimate the power of a woman. 
Union's volleyball season is in full swing. 
NEWS 
The Union 
population 
Continued from page I 
more liberal and lively. Well, -we are in 
Nebraska. (Personally I think my grandma 
would pass out if we ever had drums play for 
the church service, but that's just the way it 
goes). 
Hailing 
from 
Marlboro, 
Massachusetts, is the stunning Marcy 
DiProfio who is undecided about her line of 
study, but-says, "It's great so far!" She has 
always been an Adventist and came here 
because it is an Adventist school and because 
Union offered her the best financial package. 
Everybody knows the next victim 
of my interviewing, but we'll just reintro-
duce him to represent the people of Lincoln, 
Nebraska. I figured that you can't get much 
more Nebraskan than Nick Bock, so here it 
is. Nick said, "I came back simply because I 
can't think of a better situation. I live in the 
dorm, but home is just five minutes away. 
The setting is incredible. 
Union is nice 
because of its smalL-college atmosphere so 
you get to know everyone. Lincoln has the 
convenience of a city yet maintains a small-
Still proud to be Unionites in the 90's. Union College's changing demographics never hesitate to take us all by surprise. 
town atmosphere." 
On the other side of the globe is a 
little chain of dots called the Marshall 
Islands, where Georgina Kaious lived until 
she came to Union. 
Her major is 
International Business, and she is just begin-
ning her junior year. She came to Union 
because her teachers at home recommended 
it and she wanted to go to an Adventist 
school. Here's what she likes about Union. 
"I'll tell you one thing I really like about it. 
The students and staff are really friendly. 
The staff take their time to get to know the 
students. We are very fortunate." Union is 
fortunate to have students like Georgina. All 
502 of you. 
S 
© a s o n a 1 
t u d e n t. 
u rv 
ey 
1. What was your very, very first 
impression of Union College? 
22% Excellent ("I gotta come here!) 
68% Good ("Nice place, nice 
people.") 
10% Average ("Not bad for an SDA 
school, but could be better.")7 
0% Not so good ("This is Union 
College??) 
0% Terrible (Aaaw.x^tfie oft 
An honors profile 
Julie Fisher 
Reporter 
Among 
the suggestions 
last 
year 
on 
UCDream, 
a 
survey designed to learn what students want 
for an ideal Union College, several proposed 
creating Union as a school of high acade-* 
:mics. Now part of that wish is 'canting-true-
•*jtn the form of Union Scholars,- a:new pro-
gram emphasizing academics. 
" 
Minear went on. The extrinsic benefits to 
Honors Program students will include specif-
ic recognition at graduation and special 
diplomas and transcripts signifying a Union 
Scholarship. There will also be job connec-
tions and a per-semester $150 scholarship on 
books purchased at the campus bookstore. 
The. intrinsic benefits .are that; with their 
gained knowledge, students of the Honors 
2. What is your current feeling 
about UC? ' 
34% Excellent (Gung-ho / die hard 
fan) 
46% Good (Patriot) 
14% Average (Citizen) 
2% Not so good (This is Union 
College??) 
2% Terrible (Saboteur- "Mom I'm 
coming home!") 
3. What is your favorite style of 
music? 
8% Classical 
12% Country 
30% Christian 
26% Alternative 
8% Pop Rock 
4% Metal 
4. How many meals a week do you 
eat at the Chat? 
Avg = 4.5 
5. How many of the 50 states have 
you been in? 
(Please only American 
states...excluding insanity, depres-
sion, etc..) 
Avg = 21 
survey conducted by Roland LaFrance 
-On th& other 
hand, do we want a pro-
gram at Union v that 
draws a line between 
"gifted" students and 
those of us that struggle 
foraC?". 
To 
evaluate 
this, let's explore the 
goals of this gathering 
of good students. Who 
will it include? 
Who 
will it exclude? After 
careful 
investigating, 
here is the scoop. In an 
interview 
with 
Academic 
Vice-
President Larry Ray, 
and the co-chairs of the 
Honors 
Program, 
Assistant Professor of 
Religion Tony Minear, 
and Professor of Chemistry David Nowak, I 
caught the answers to these questions. 
"The Honors Program is a program 
designed to stimulate students, by providing 
a broader, deeper educational experience," 
explained Dr. Nowak. Students involved in 
the program are required to participate in 
three dimensions: regular classes pertaining 
to their individual majors, core classes, and 
community service."The benefits are extrin-
sic (outer) and intrinsic (inner)," Professor 
On the other hand, 
do we want a program at 
Union that draws a line 
between "gifted" students 
and those of us that 
struggle for a C? 
Program will, as Nowak remarked, "become 
better thinkers with a 
clearer understanding 
and. a larger viewpoint 
with which to look at 
the world surrounding 
them." 
Future 
benefits 
may also include spe-
cial 
housing 
with 
access to facilities that 
help Honors Program 
students maintain their 
academic goals while 
trying to balance their 
rigorous schedules of 
work, study, and play. 
To officially enter 
the Honors Program, all 
entering students from 
either high school or 
transferring from col-
leges must have a 3.33 
GPA to remain a Union Scholar. But partici-
pation in the honors program will not be lim-
ited to members. "All Union students are 
invited to attend lectures given by special 
speakers and are welcome to sit in on classes 
with permission granted by professors," 
commented Minear. There is also the possi-
bility that an honors club may form which 
will be open to all Union students. This 
would allow students the opportunity to learn 
leadership skills and give them a chance to 
socialize at club events. 
"The future looks bright for Union 
College," says Dr. Ray. Not only will Union 
scholars benefit, but the campus as a whole 
and even the Lincoln community will benefit 
from the Honors Program which Ray states' 
"is not an elite organization but a service 
organization." 
Ray also says the Honors, 
Program will serve the campus by drawing in 
more students with its challenging criteria, 
which only adds to the quality education 
already in place in Union. The volunteer 
service will provide the Lincoln community;' 
with a chance to see Christ at work in Union. 
Finally, students involved in the program 
will have the opportunity to share with other 
students on campus the knowledge and ideas 
they have gained in through their education. 
Why can't all students participate in 
the Honors Program? Nowak answers this 
by saying students entering the Honors 
Program are those who have "shown motiva-
tion, discipline, and the ability to study in 
depth" while maintaining busy, even hectic 
schedules. All students entering and com-
pleting the Honors Program all the way to 
graduation deserve much support, recogni-
tion, and admiration for juggling classes, 
jobs, and volunteer work. 
An elite group? A secret organiza-
tion created to breed intellectuals? A haven 
for the competitive? Union Scholars does 
have high ideals—not only for "gifted" stu-
dents, but also as a motivation for all of 
Union's students. It's a goal for those of us 
on the borderline of okay or fantastic grades. 
This program's desire is for good—for the 
community and for the college. And as a col-
lege, it's high time we had a program like it. 
"Education is not preparation for life, 
education is life itself...." John Dewey 
NEWS 
A summer storybook 
Brian Ruckle 
Reporter 
Summer 
vacation 
of 
1996 is now 
only a memory 
in the minds of 
Union students. 
Many of these memories are summed up 
with single words— "worked," "studied," or 
even worse "nuttin'." 
Brazil 
Ten days living on a boat on the 
Amazon River out of a 14 day trip in Brazil. 
It was hot. Even worse it was humid. The 
boat kept breaking down. The mechanic 
caught malaria. There was a time we ran out 
of water, even with a dozen five-gallon water 
bottles. One of the two boats got stuck. We 
bathed in the Amazon, knowing piranhas 
lurked in the shallow areas of the river. 
Thanks to an irresponsible airline, some peo-
ple didn't even have their luggage and had to 
wear one pair of clothes for five days. 
Then the motor on the boat broke 
down. To arrive at the next village on time 
we should have left that evening; instead we 
stayed the night. 
The next morning the 
motor started without a hiccup. Mystified, 
we made a supply stop at a village we would 
have passed had the boat started the night 
before. A group of nurses who had stopped 
to check out the nearby clinic brought back 
news of a sick baby who would die if it did-
n't receive an antibiotic the jungle clinic 
lacked. Luckily for the infant, we had two 
medical doctors, a dentist, four nurses, and 
several medical and nursing students. We 
also had the antibiotic, and the baby was 
saved. If our medical mission trip had been 
on schedule, we would have been long gone 
from the village by the time the baby arrived. 
Coincidence? 
Despite the inconveniences, most of 
us would do it again. 
The 
Union 
College students who went on the trip were 
Julienne Brauer, Brian Carlson, Luis Colon, 
Trista Nelson, Jennifer Rogers and Margaret 
Thompson. Faculty from Union included 
Rich Carlson, Marilyn McArthur, and Pat 
Parmele. The cultural encounter with the 
Amazonian people was out of a documen-
tary. We saved a life, put smiles on people's 
faces and made the Amazonian people and 
ourselves feel really good. 
Russia 
Wow. Flying with Clyde Peters and 
Ray Johnson in their private planes from 
Lincoln, through Canada, over the mountains 
and lakes of Alaska, past the breaking ice of 
the Bering Strait and landing on another con-
tinent in Providenja, Russia. A couple of 
people in our group became sick the first day. 
Besides that, the view was awesome. 
This was far different from the 
other Unionaires trips we've been on. This 
time, the Unionaires included Steve Long, 
Heidi Hill, Ryan Thomas, Kristine Elliston, 
Marcy Florian, Wendy Dom, Seth Ellis, and 
Alan Recalde. We sang 20 concerts over ten 
See Storybook on page 4 
However secure we feel in our relationships 
with God and with our friends, isn't there 
always room for improvement? The 12-Step 
Spiritual Journey gives any willing partici-
pant a chance to truly connect with his or her 
inner self and with others. Without being a 
run-of-the-mill self-help program, the 
Spiritual Journey is designed to do three 
things: 
1) Give support and encourage-
ment through daily life 
2) Provide emotional healing 
3) Promote spiritual growth. 
The people involved in the Spiritual 
Joumey are divided into eight smaller 
groups. Each group then meets for an hour 
once a week for 23 weeks, starting in the 
week of September 9. By using the book, A 
Hunger For Healing, by Keith Miller, Stan 
and Angie Hardt facilitate the discussions, 
with Stan leading the men and Angie the 
women. During each hour, the members 
share quality time with each other when they 
can step back from their regular stressful 
activities of life and get to know God and 
themselves a little better. 
Angie Hardt 
explained that the groups "give us a safe 
place to explore who we really are—with our 
strengths and our weaknesses." 
The 12-Step Spiritual Journey was 
started at Union College through the support 
of Dr. Ron Jensen, a Union College alumnus, 
and his wife, Dr. Alexa Jensen. After going 
through this program in California, Dr. Ron 
Jensen benefitted so much from it, he want-
ed others to have similar experiences. He 
immediately remembered Union College as a 
place that would enjoy having the availabili-
ty and advantages of this program. With that 
thought in mind, Dr. Jensen chose to fund the 
Spiritual Journey at Union for five years. 
Having already been successful last 
year, with 50 people completing the program, Stan 
and Angie are eager to get underway with it again 
this year. So far, over 100 students have signed up 
to partake in this relatively new adventure, and 
more are welcome in this coming week. After 
that, it is difficult for new students to join because 
each group viill have established an atmosphere of 
familiarity and comfort. For now, anyone interest-
ed is welcome to sign up in the Campus Ministries 
office. If, after attending a few sessions, someone 
decides this program doesn't fit with their sched-
ules, they can simply quit going. It is impossible 
to structure die meetings perfectly for everybody 
so a few minds might change after a couple of get-
togethers. Yet many people have thoroughly 
enjoyed and benefitted from being involved in the 
Spiritual Journey. 
For instance, Margaret Thompson 
acknowledges how her relationship with God 
has changed since she went through the pro-
gram. She would enjoy being close to God 
for a time and seriously believe she had all 
she needed with Him. But then life would get 
too hectic, and she wasn't able to maintain 
that high feeling of spirituality. After being a 
member of one of the groups last year, 
Margaret fully realized that God is constant-
ly with her. He knows and understands what 
she needs in every detail of her life. Now she 
believes, "12-Step isn't a miracle cure or a 
quick fix for your spiritual life, but it gives 
valuable insight and support for those of you 
who are searching for something better." 
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Are there steps to God? 
Joa Johnson 
Reporter 
NEWS & VIEWS 
September 25,1996 
Page 4 
world 
beat 
Malachi McNeilus 
News commentator 
UFOs 
For those whose world extends 
only from sea to shining sea, let me put a 
few words in your ear about everyone's 
favorite argument—presidential politics. 
Contrary to the Clinton/Gore '96 sign in 
my window I really don't care who wins 
this election. If I knew what my vote was 
supporting then I might take some interest 
in our increasingly fictionalized democra-
cy. Today, sadly, no one except the candi-
dates know what they truly stand for. So 
whom do we support? 
Thankfully, there are some 
issues which the candidates still feel free 
to share their real opinions on. One of 
these is UFOs. I've'found no better con-
trast between Clinton and Dole than in 
their feelings about the possibility of 
the existence of alien life. 
Clinton's comments 
regarding alien life came 
shortly after NASA 
researchers (in an effort to 
secure more funding) 
claimed to have found evi-
dence of life on Mars. Eagerly 
Mr. Clinton stated his determination 
that the American space program would 
put its full intellectual power and techno-
logical prowess behind a search for fur-
ther evidence of life on Mars. The 
President then said that, if the discovery 
was confirmed, it would be one of the 
most stunning insights into our universe 
that science has ever uncovered. It 
sounds to me like the President is really 
big into alien life. You could almost see 
him welcoming aliens to the White 
House, or setting up an interplanetary 
free trade zone (which would exclude 
Iraq, Iran, and China). The point is Mr. 
Clinton is optimistic. 
He's excited 
about new 
ideas and 
possibilities 
and this 
says a lot 
about his per-
sonality and 
leadership style. 
Bob Dole has said less about 
aliens than Mr. Clinton, but what he has 
said is enlightening. 
Having earlier 
rebuked the Hollywood film industry for 
producing morally questionable material, 
Mr. Dole still managed to wander into a 
showing of Independence Day. After see-
ing this aliens vs. earthlings flick Mr. 
Dole had some insightful opinions to 
share. "I like it," he said. "We won, the 
end. Leadership. America. Good over 
evil." Apparently Mr. Dole sees aliens as 
evil and one can imagine that under a 
Dole presidency aliens would not be wel-
comed in America. To me, this not only 
indicates a reluctance toward new beings 
from other planets, but a reluctance 
toward new ideas, perspectives, and 
opportunities. While the presidential can-
didates' views on UFOs will not inspire 
me to vote, it is an interesting illumination 
into their characters. 
sources: 
—International Herald-Tribune 
—Newsweek 
IRAQ 
The U.S. wasted a lot of money 
last week when it spent $50 million dol-
lars to destroy fourteen Iraqi military 
installations. 
Immediately the Iraqis 
began rebuilding them. Not only was this 
an incredible waste of money, but it was 
also a useless mission which accom-
plished nothing. All Iraq did was respond 
to a request for military aid from one of 
the several factions of Kurds who have 
been uselessly fighting amongst them-
selves for quite a few years now. C.I.A. 
officers stationed in the area to promote 
our interests fled when Kurdish 
and Iraqi troops took the city of 
Irbil in northern Iraq, effec-
tively destroying all the 
C.I.A. had worked to accom-
plish. Perhaps the most iron-
ic thing about all this was that 
the C.I.A. sided against Iraq in 
favor of another Kurdish faction 
normally supported by Iran (some things 
never change). In the end what did $50 
million get us? 
Absolutely nothing. 
Saddam Hussein remains in power. Iraq 
withdrew its troops but still controls the 
city, and the world community is becom-
ing increasingly tired of the U.S. brutaliz-
ing Iraq for no good reason. We spent 
money, supported our worst enemies' 
interests (Iran), and further risked our 
relationship with many other nations. 
—Chicago Tribune 
—New York Times 
Summer adventure 
Continued from page 3 
days, and three of those days were in Russia. 
We stayed with local families who knew little 
to no English. Because of the scarcity of veg-
etables, the basic diet in Providenja consists 
of meat, seafood and bread. The vegetarians 
in the group weren't vegetarians on this trip. 
The people in Russia treated us like 
royalty. They went beyond their means to 
feed us, put us in their beds, and faithfully 
brought us to our destinations on time. 
Spoiled by American life, we brought food 
for them that is common to us. Yet it put tears 
in the eyes of the lady who was our hostess. 
She said she hadn't eaten a vegetable for 
years. Then in a marvelous move of gen-
erosity, she cooked our gift for us to eat. 
Our interpreter was a local, Natasha 
Monino. 
Guess what? 
She is now here 
studying music and English as a Second 
Language. 
They were gracious hosts, and they 
looked like they -were enjoying our music. 
"Heavenly," was one description we heard. 
My favorite part of the trip was our concert at 
the orphanage for 60 Russian children. After 
our concert, these once timid children latched 
on to the singers and wouldn't let go. One 
tiny girl adopted me and gave me a personal 
tour of the orphanage. She showed me where 
she slept and some of her belongings. She 
also asked me for my autograph. When I told 
her I had to leave, she reached in her pocket 
and pulled out some beads on a wire and gave 
them to me as a gift. 
Bermuda 
Two and a half weeks in Bermuda? 
Sure. Your choices are: a) sitting in a stuffy 
classroom and memorizing periodic tables, or 
b) taking a plane out to an Atlantic paradise, 
where you can go skin diving among 
angelfish and fan coral, take walks into 
through the woods, and get a little bit of cul-
ture hanging out with the locals. 
Brad 
Shauer, Cherie Heinrich, Susie Greer, Brian 
Ruckle, Mitch Scoggins, Johanna McClay, 
and Brad Schaffher chose the latter. 
We were signed up for three hours 
of Field Biology science credit in this class, 
so we did learn something. Most of the learn-
ing was hands-on. We learned to identify 
Spanish 
Bayonet, 
Allspice, 
Darrell's 
Fleabane, Salt Grass, the Bermuda Ceder, 
Blue Chromis, Sea Cucumbers, and more. 
We saw how the introduction of a single plant 
or animal can change the ecological makeup 
of the whole island. 
True, we didn't have a four-star 
hotel, but the tents in Ester Zuill's backyard 
were close. Ester is the sister of Dr. Henry 
Zuill, a Union College professor, and our tour 
guide. By eight in the morning, we would 
have eaten breakfast and be waiting for one 
of the many pink Bermuda busses to take us 
to our destination for the day. Most of the 
morning and early afternoon we spent walk-
ing—along the beach, through forests or wet-
lands, and even some caves. Then we would 
find a spot to put on our flippers, wetsuits, 
masks and snorkels and glide out into a world 
where parrot fish and eagle rays roam. In the 
evening, our journals would easily fill with 
the adventures of the day, then we could lis-
ten to a lecture or watch a film on ocean and 
island in Ester Zuill's living room. 
Next summer, don't do "nuttin'." 
Do "sumthin'." Join the Adventist Colleges 
Abroad language summer program in Spain, 
Austria, France, Brazil, Greece, Italy, 
Taiwan, or Singapore. The Field Biology 
class is offered every other summer, so start 
thinking about going in the summer of 1998. 
There are no definite plans for a mission trip 
in the summer to Brazil or any other destina-
tion. Keep your ears and eyes open second 
semester for possible developments. 
Unionaires take Russia by storm. (L-R): Marcy Florian, Ryan Thomas, Wendy Dom, Alan Recalde, 
Heidi Hill, Kristine Elliston, Seth Ellis. 
GOOD WEEKLY 
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OPINION 
September 25,1996 
Page 5 
Dear Cognizant 
Omniscience Boy, 
Dear COB, • 
HELP! Ever since I got to Union I've been gaining so much weight that my clothes don't fit anymore. I don't know what I'm doing wrong 
and I can't stand the way I look. What should I do? 
-Horizontally Challenged 
Dear Horizontally Challenged, 
Establish the "NO FOOD after 8:00 p.m." rule. Establish the "NO DAIRY QUEEN study breaks" rule. Those cookies in the cafe are 
yummy, but are they worth lugging around under all those baggy sweatshirts? You may need to confirm this with a science major about 
this, but you can't burn off those M & M's you've been unconsciously inhaling by sitting in your dorm room until bedtime. If you don't 
believe the science guys, experiment for yourself. Just get out there and do stuff instead of snarfing Pop Tarts at 11 p.m. And, if you're the 
one who takes the elevator to the second floor, honey, take jhe stairs! Just wait and see. I don't he about this stuff. Good luck. 
-COB 
PS: send your vexing thoughts to COB on any anonymous piece of paper and drop it in the ASB suggestion box in the chat 
clocktower. 
editorial staff 
Editor 
Brian Ruckle 
Copy Editor 
Rebecca Cizmar 
News/Religion Editor 
Bruce Chan 
Current Events Editor 
Maiochi McNeilus 
Living Editor 
Tanya Spiiovoy 
Sports Editor 
Brian Carlson 
Sports Editors 
Brad Seltmann 
Aits and Entertainment Editor 
Tuiya Spilovoy 
Photo Editor 
Heather Hornbacher 
Design/Layout 
PhuFreund 
Beet Schlisner 
Amanda Krehbid 
Ad Manager 
Kristinc EUbton 
Staff Reporters 
JoaJohnson 
Julie Fisher 
Malachl McNeilus 
Jeremy Comforth 
Staff Artist 
Eddie Mejia 
Faculty Advisor 
Greg Rumsey 
Printer 
Oakoeek Printing 
Clocktower is the biweekly pub-
lication 
of 
Union 
College's 
Associated Student Body. The 
views expressed here do not nec-
essarily reflect the view of the 
Seventh-day Adventist Church, 
Union College, ASB, or the edito-
rial staff. The editors reserve the 
right to determine the content of 
the Clocktower. 
Our office is located in the Love 
Building on the Union College 
campus. Our address is 3800 
South 48th Street, Lincoln, NE 
68506. We can be reached by 
phone at (402) 486-2091 or by e-
mail at (cltowerOucollege.edu). 
save 
your 
head 
Bret Schlisner 
Columnist 
Hey ya'll. 
We're 
finally 
back at Union 
again, meeting 
new experiences 
and experienc-
ing new meet-
ings. 
The first days 
of school kinda 
remind me of 
my first ride on 
a cyclone roller-
coaster when I 
was eight, finally ridin' with the big dogs. It 
was the most liberating experience since my 
promotion from personal potty to grown-up 
potty, man. 
Since that rollercoaster, I have promoted 
myself to many bigger and better potties. 
The most significant promotion was from the 
white-American potty to the international 
open-minded potty. From that vast vat of 
discernment I have extracted absolutely 
everything I know to this very day. 
And so it went that a couple Argentine 
guys asked me to attack Mt. Aconcagua with 
them. I had listened in 7th grade geography 
class when Mr. Rosenquist flashed us his 
knowledge of the highest mountain outside 
the Himalayas, at nearly 23,000 feet. So I 
jumped in the bandwagon truckbed and we 
took off. 
Three months of 10-mile-a-day running 
and a two-day bus romp dumped us at the 
border of Chile and Argentina, on December 
25, 1995. We were a measely 36 footpath 
miles from elev. 13,500 ft., basecamp of 
Cerro Aconcagua. No problem. We had 
lightened our packs down to a measely 47 
pounds each. Our bodies' sinew was rip-
pling. No need to try to trim more weight 
from our loads. Just give the mules the 
bulky stuff, we thought... 
After the mules scampered away with that 
bulk, we blasted off hiking. At the first view 
of Aconcagua, we shed our gear and rejoiced 
in photographic praise over the fact that we 
only had 33.3 miles to go. 
Six hours into that day I had hummed El 
Condor Pasa ("Rather be a Hammer than a 
Nail," Simon/Garfunkel) 47 quintillion 
times. The flatiron cliffs to my sides bounced 
slowly by. The sun blazed down, separating 
the fibers of our clothes and skin. Visions of 
sugarplums danced in my head. Whoa. 
Crossing a glacial stream, my legs buck-
led and I plopped down in the water. The liq-
uid ice flowed through my sweaty longjohns, 
and that was reality, baby. And it told me 
that something was wrong with this oil paint-
ing. This is NOT going how we planned, I 
thought. Wait, what plan? 
I hollered to my homeboy Geeshay, "Yo, 
does any of us know the first thing about a 
two-week mountain-climbing trip?" 
"No way, man. But we'll learn faster with 
our lives on the line!" 
Second day of hiking upward. Animals and 
birds had long since disappeared, leaving the 
loaded paintbrush colors of the boulders and 
cliffs the only sign of life. My pink shoulder-
tissue had smeared into my pack straps, 
forming a bond stronger than shoe-goo. A 
daymare about a fencer puncturing my left 
lung commandeered my oxygen-starved 
brain. I fought to regain consciousness. 
But the sword still gouged me with each 
trudge. 
Our lips cracked into little red canyons. 
Our blisters popped on our heels, pinky-toes 
and backs. Someone heading down signaled 
us, "Basecamp's just ahead over the rise." 
We approached the rise like a steer approach-
ing Sizzler for a good meal. 
Could it be base camp? Over and over, that 
we chanted. For 90 minutes, Could it be base 
camp? 
Our bodies were bent into question marks 
as we finally reached the top of the glacier 
and pitched our tents over the icy dirt of base 
camp. We were instant cadavers, brain-dying 
on our sleeping sacks just as the shadow of 
the Chilean Andes overtook us. 
We couldn't sleep, eat, think, talk, eat 
crackers, whistle, or go potty. We just lay 
lifeless. 
The other groups sprung into camp singing 
and grinning with their 7-pound hip-packs 
and stories of their planned-out 4-day con-
quest of the basecamp trail. Our foolishness 
was a deadly two days. With backpack-fulls 
of anvils. Oops. 
But that's O.K., after that day we learned 
our dumbness and started to plan our next 
expedition. But we weren't quite through 
with that mountain until the next issue of the 
Clocktower came out in the middle of 
October. 
But before I say 'To be Continued..." I 
have a question or three: What mountain do 
you want to climb? Are you prepared for 
expedition? and,. 
How many anvils do you have in your 
backpack? 
Bret Schlisner often dreams of losing his 
teeth. 
LIVING 
Union 
Continued from page I 
While mud caked to your leg hair and bike 
looks impressive, be ready to call Plant 
Services for a hammer and chisel if you want 
to ride your bike again. 
The trails by Tierra Briarhurst Park 
are a minuscule version of Wilderness. The 
steep, deep, criss-crossing dirt ramps are 
great if you BMX or are a psycho table-top-
ping mountain-biker with little respect for 
your body or bike. Tierra is also great if you 
like to watch people injure themselves and 
then try the same trick again. 
For a description of city bike trails, 
they are everywhere. The trail that follows 
Normal Boulevard can get the serious cyclist 
downtown for a latte in under ten minutes. 
Another way to get downtown is the trail 
starting at 27th and Highway 2, which gets 
you there through more park and less street. 
Unfortunately, Prescott Hall is the highest 
point in Lincoln, so coming back is uphill no 
matter where you go. 
A word of advice: 
wear a helmet. Lincoln drivers aren't always 
the most observant and drive out of the most 
curious places (Ryan Royal will back me 
up). Go down to 84th and Elmwood and 
you'll hit the Mopac Trail. A very flat, very 
smooth, 100-foot wide crushed limestone 
path, the Mopac Trail stretches 25 miles east 
of Lincoln through an abundance of wildlife, 
plant life, and bird species. If it sounds like 
your kind of trail, go for it. The Walton Trail 
Company is three miles in if you need a 
sandwich, drink, or the brakes on your Huffy 
adjusted. For a free exhaustive map of the 
trails in Lincoln go to one of the many bike 
shops or see me. 
Now that you know 
where to go, you need a bike. 
The question is whether to 
spend a couple hundred dol-
lars now or save up for a 
really great bike. I sug-
gest shelling out $200-
$300 for a low-end 
Specialized, 
Mongoose, 
GT, 
or 
something like that. 
This way, if you end up 
riding only once a 
month, you won't be 
out much and you can 
still get to work when 
your car breaks down. 
On the other hand, if you 
freak out and ride your bike 
on every trail on the week-
ends, between classes, and 
between the dorm and the Chat 
you'll have a bike to ride the snot out 
of while you save up for your dream bike. 
Accessorizing? Get a helmet. Wear 
it. Don't believe me? Ask the dude I saw 
A word of advice, 
Wear a helmet 
Lincoln drivers aren't 
always the most 
observant and drive 
out of the most 
curious places. 
with the hamburger-for-a-face last year at 
Wilderness. Add a pump and a bike bag with 
a spare tube and you can laugh your way 
through any coniferous forest. To be legal 
after dark get a red battery-operated 
flasher for your back. 
Serious biking is a mind 
set and way of life. It's about 
devotion to exercise and 
understanding the mechanics 
of your bike. And some-
where along the way you 
learn to pull a phat bunny-
hop onto a ten-inch curb 
at 20 miles an hour. If 
you have any questions 
about bikes, parts, what's 
good/bad, 
where 
to 
go/how to get there, e-
mail me. I love to talk 
bike. I might just tell you 
how to get to the secret 
trails at Wilderness. 
Want more info? Want to be 
part of a mountain biking club 
here at UC? E-mail crunters@ucol-
lege.edu. 
Tobias Fike performs a death-defying stunt as he journeys down a muddy, wooden 
stair-case at Indian Caves State Park. 
Brendan Pettijohn and Craig Unterseher pose gallantly with their favorite toys. 
Glossary 
(interpretations of Craig's bike-a-holie Jargon) 
clipless pedals— pedals with a miniature ski-binding that your shoe locks into 
coniferous forest— bike tire tube + pine needle = flat tire 
derailleur— gadget that changes your gears 
double-track— jeep-trail or otherwise wide enough for passing 
hamburger-for-a-face— wear a helmet 
hardtail— bike with no rear suspension 
latte— 2 oz. espresso added to 8 oz. steamed milk with syrup 25o extra 
Shimano— the mother of all bike components 
single-track— trail wide enough for one bike, no passing 
table-top— launching off a jump and laying your bike flat in the air 
XTR— rob a bank and call me 
Biker gangs at 
Union student 
frolicks with pros 
at Olympics 
American, Juliana Furtado, grinds up a hill at the inaugural mountain biking world 
championship, in Atlanta, 1996. Expected to win, she croaked in the 100 degree heat 
and finished 10th. Her teammate, Susan DeMattei, a registered nurse, finished with 
BfT the unexpected bronze. Over 40,000 spectators witnessed the men's and women's 
races on July 31, including Union College student Bret Schlisner and his family, who 
are hiding behind the camera in this photo. 
SPORTS 
NFL predictions AFC predictions 
Brad Seltmann 
Reporter 
Here is 
— 
the official 
word from Brad 
for all of you 
die-hard NFC followers. It's going to be 
exciting in the NFL this year and there's 
one thing you can count on: continued 
NFC dominance in the Super Bowl as the 
AFC is left out in the cold—again. 
Here's a team-by-team breakdown: 
NFC East 
1. Philadelphia Eagles—Solid defensively, 
these guys have a huge chance if Rodney 
Peete delivers. 
2. Dallas Cowboys—Although they're still 
a solid squad, too many defensive free-
agent losses and off-field problems put 
Super Bowl out of reach. Sorry, Bret. 
3. Washington Redskins—Things are look-
ing up; their many nail-biter losses of the 
past will go the 'Skins way this season. 
4. N.Y. Giants—Poor offense and lack of 
defensive speed will haunt the Monsters of 
the Meadowlands. 
5. Arizona Cardinals—New coaching will 
try desperately to clean up Buddy Ryan's 4-
12 mess from the '95-'96 season. 
NFC Central 
1. Green Bay Packers—Offensively unstop-
pable and in need of solid road play to reach 
the Big One. Posse up, Cheeseheads! 
2. Detroit Lions—Dynamite offense and 
decent D will prove to be enough for a play-
off appearance by the Motor City Crew. 
3. Chicago Bears—Only a healthy, dominat-
ing Rashaan Salaam can rescue the Bad 
News Bears from the mire of mediocrity. 
4. Minnesota Vikings—Horrible defense 
will get the Northerners trounced week after 
week. May win 5 or 6 games. 
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers—New coach 
Tony Dungy is a defense-first guy with 
offense a distant second—we're talking 
miles distant. 
NFC West 
1. San Francisco 49ers—The 'Niners are 
Super Bowl-bound with their coach, I mean, 
administrative assistant Bill Walsh back. 
George's lovin' this one!! 
2. Carolina Panthers—Seventh best defense 
in the league for '95-'96 and the continued 
Brian Carlson 
Brian 
steps out boldly 
Sports Editor 
. • ,„ 
~ 
and gives you 
the low down 
on the rivalries in the AFC this year. The 
action will be hot and the games will be 
fierce. However, the AFC will compete for 
the Super Bowl this year, despite predic-
improvement of QB Collins will make the 
Panthers very competitive in the West 
3. Atlanta Falcons—Always fun to watch; 
offense may carry them to the playoffs—but 
that's it. 
4. New Orleans Saints—Increased defensive 
on opposing QB's and persistent offense 
might bring the Saints to .500. 
5. St. Louis Rams—With newly acquired 
ex-Husker Lawrence Phillips, the Rams will 
give the Saints a run for 4th place in the 
West. 
tions from the opposing side. This is the 
year for them to break through and crumble 
the string of wins by San Francisco and 
Dallas. 
The team-by-team breakdown: 
AFC West 
1. Kansas City Chiefs—Strong in the regu-
lar season thanks to a Derrick Thomas led 
defense, but may slip during the playoffs. 
2. Denver Broncos—John Elway leads an 
explosive offense, and they could be a 
threat if the defense shows up. Come on, 
Orange Crush! 
3. Oakland Raiders—The Bad Boys of the 
West look to Jeff Hostetler to keep them 
afloat. 
4. San Diego Chargers—More new players 
+ more non-re turning players = a few more 
losses. 
5. Seattle Seahawks—With absolutely no 
defense and an inexperienced Rick Mirer, 
the 'Hawks will be lucky to win four. 
AFC Central 
1. Pittsburgh Steelers—The Steelers will 
run the ball and play solid defense, and that 
should be enough to win the Central. 
2. Jacksonville Jaguars—A young, exciting 
team that will lose their "expansion" status 
and challenge for the Central title. 
3. Baltimore Ravens—A new name, new 
uniforms, new stadium, and new coach 
means new results (more wins). 
4. Houston Oilers—With Heisman hopeful 
Steve McNair and Heisman winner Eddie 
George, they have a future...but not this 
year. 
5. Cincinnati Bengals—Quarterback Jeff 
Blake is exciting with his core of wide 
receivers, but there is no defense. 
AFC East 
1. Miami Dolphins—Jimmy Johnson will 
bring his immovable hair to Florida and the 
Dolphins will be immovable from the top 
spot. 
2. Indianapolis Colts—This is a good 
team—especially on defense. Look for 
them to make a return trip to the playoffs. 
3. Buffalo Bills—The Bills will make 
another run, but it won't be enough. 
They're too old to hold up down the stretch. 
4. New England Patriots—Parcells won't be 
around after the season and that makes the 
Pats without much hope. Try for a 9-7 
record. 
5. New York Jets—The Jets spent way too 
much money for Neil O'Donnell. He isn't 
the quarterback they desperately need. 
Worst in the NFL for the 2nd straight year. 
If we 
were 
All of us at one time or 
another have wanted to be in 
command. Well, this week 
Brian and Brad get to imagine 
that they rule the world of 
sports. If we were king for a 
day: 
•There would be at least ten all-sports 
TV stations 
•There would be no such thing as free 
agents 
*Greedy professional players like Shaq would make $4.25 per hour 
•NBA Commissioner David Stem would be appointed supreme commissioner over every 
major sport 
•The Bills and the Broncos would learn how to win the Big One 
•Bobby Cox, Warren Moon, a guy named Orenthal, and certain ex-Huskers would learn to 
speak softly and get rid of the stick 
*Mugsy Bogues would play Manute Bol in Taco Bell's one-on-one tournament 
•Cal Ripken would take a day off 
"The Bowl Coalition would be destroyed in favor of a playoff system 
•Colleges would be able to do in public what has been done under the table for years—pay 
their athletes 
•Deion Sanders would play pro basketball and finish second in technical fouls behind Sir 
Charles 
•Mike Tyson would fight someone stronger than the guy who typed this article 
•Reds owner Marge Schott would suck herself into a Pepsi bottle like that kid in the com-
mercial 
•Sports fans would be loyal to teams in their hometown instead of jumping on the band-
wagon with teams like the Bulls, Cowboys, 49ers, Yankees and Braves 
•Professional athletes would realize that the game belongs to the fans 
(This article was adapted from a written work by Mike Meliti and Adam Rivera of Southern College.) 
sports picks 
Brian Carlson 
Sports Editor 
Tbumbs-Up to-
Dolly Dinning, for striking out a batter in her slow-pitch Softball game. 
Thumbs-Down to... 
Greg Steiner, for letting Dolly strike him out on three straight "mighty" swings!! 
Sportswoman of the Week: 
This time we have multiple winners: every lady that is practicing with both the vol-
leyball team and the basketball team. They're putting in lots of work. Way to go! 
Sportsman of the Week: 
Bret Schlisner. He had four interceptions and scored two touchdowns in a city-
league football game. It must have been the socks-over-the-knees look! 
Quote of the Week: 
"The growing gap between the wealth of pro sports and that of 
its fans is an embarrassment for our society." Inside Sports, 
September 1996. 
NFC Playoff Teams 
AFC Playoff Teams 
Carolina Panthers 
Miami Dolphins 
Dallas Cowboys 
Kansas City Chiefs 
Detroit Lions 
Pittsburgh Steelers 
Green Bay Packers 
Denver Broncos 
Philadelphia Eagles 
Indianapolis Colts 
San Francisco 49ers 
Jacksonville Jaguars 
(The teams not listed will be enjoying 
AFC Championship 
the playoffs from die comfort of their 
own home.) 
Denver over Miami 
NFC Championship 
Super Bowl XXXI 
San Francisco over Philadelphia 
Denver over San Francisco 
Super Bowl XXXI 
San Francisco over Denver 
SPORTS 
Football intramurals going again 
Brian Carlson 
Sports Editor 
Ladies and gen-
tleman...fall is 
here... that 
means 
the 
pigskin is flying 
over at 49er Memorial Field. 
Yes, once 
again, the fierce rivalries built during football 
season are being decided by extraordinary 
athletes sporting cute little red and yellow 
flags. Bravely they'll challenge each other, 
hoping to score more touchdowns than the 
Here are the lineups for the "College" teams: 
Kansas Jayhawks: 
Shawn Sorter—captain 
Bret Schlisner—co-captain 
R. Adams 
J. Buxton 
J. Gibson 
T. Gorton 
S. Henson 
B. Mix 
D. Ritter 
G. Stock 
opponent and eventually win the coveted 
"Intramural Champs" t-shirt. 
This year, due to the tremendous 
number of pigskin participants, there are 
three different divisions of football intramu-
rals. One powerful division for the women, 
and two for the men. This week I am going 
to concentrate on the "College Division" on 
the men's side, and the next issue will feature 
the men's "NFL Division" and the women's 
teams. 
Colorado Buffaloes: 
Brian Carlson—captain 
Brad Seltmann—co-captain 
P. Britain 
C. Brown 
D. Carlson 
E. Hansen 
M. Kendall 
Z. Owen 
R.Spaulding . .. 
M. Teller 
Syracuse Orangemen: 
Chris Wise—captain 
Dave Wade—co-captain 
S. Blood 
L. Bowes 
A. Fritz 
S. Huenergardt 
J. Lund 
K. Rowe 
C. Sargeant 
T. Skinner 
B.Shea 
Nebraska Huskers: 
Mike Diehl—captain 
Nick Bock—co-captain 
S. Becker 
C. Bohl . . 
J. Hoe wing 
T. Minear 
B. Pardeiro 
L. Wade 
M. Wasemiller 
T. Watson 
Michigan Wolverines: 
Todd Essex—captain 
L. Anderson 
R. Chaffee 
B.Gray 
G. Steiner 
Brian Gibson-
D. Briggman 
C. Gorton 
J. Krassin 
C. Turner 
co-captain 
Bret Schlisner slings his elbow at Mike Kendall's nose after a pass interception. 
Volleyball schedule 
Each team has played either three or 
four games (depending on the schedule draft-
ed by Ric Spaulding). One thing is certain: 
defense is desperately important this season 
with the teams so evenly matched. Offenses 
have been stifled with no team scoring more 
than three touchdowns. Most games can be 
won with only two scores. 
The Wolverines, Huskers and 
Jayhawks are off to fast starts while the 
Orangemen and Buffaloes are struggling 
early. One of the first games of the season set 
a standard for close games. The game was 
between the Orangemen and the Jayhawks: 
In the first quarter, Chris Wise 
exploded for a 70-yard touchdown giving his 
team the early lead. The defenses battled 
furiously the next two quarters, and neither 
team was able to push the ball into the end 
zone. However, as the fourth quarter wound 
down, Shawn Sorter found John Buxton in 
the end zone for a score. Bravely, he chose 
to attempt a 2-point conversion. It was good. 
The Jayhawks escaped with an 8-7 victory. 
Look for highlights from the 
Women's and "NFL" leagues in the next 
issue. 
Also, more scores and summaries 
from the "College" division. 
To all football players, have fun and 
stay safe! 
Brian Carlson tangos into the grasp of Brent Mix's paws 
V-ball 
Alicia Fogg 
Amber Doolard 
Jana Kaiser 
Jennifer Card 
Jennifer Flanagan 
Jennifer Hall 
Michelle Reid 
Michelle Miller 
Rebecca High 
Rhonda Purkeypile 
Vanessa Bolejack 
The entire woman-power volleyball team gets psyched to kick some hiney. 
9/10 
Tues. 6p 
Nebraska Christian 
Away 
9/17 
Tues. 7p 
Faith Bible College 
Away 
9/19 
Thur. 7p 
Beatrice JV 
HOME 
9/24 
Tues. 7p 
Nebraska Christian 
HOME 
9/30 
Mon. 7:30p 
Beatrice JV 
Away 
10/1 
Ttoes. 7:30p 
Grace 
HOME 
10/8 
Tues. 7:30p 
Grace 
Away 
10/10 
Thur. 6:15p 
Concordia JV 
Away 
10/14 
Mon.7p 
Concordia JV 
HOME 
line-up 
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 
Welcome to the dollhouse 
tfalachi McNeilus 
leporter 
Score Card. 
for Wtkome to the DoHhouse 
On August 
27, the Mary 
Riepma Ross 
Theater 
opened 
its 
19% 
film 
series 
with 
Welcome to the Dollhouse, a film by Todd 
Solondz. The Dollhouse takes a hard look at 
growing up through the eyes of Dawn 
Wiener (Heather Matarazzo) who is dealing 
with her first year in junior high. To her 
classmates she is known as "wiener dog" and 
everyday at school is miserable as she strug-
gles to gain acceptance. At home things are 
no better. As a middle child, she's obscured 
by her beautiful younger sister and smart 
older brother. Her life is a series of rejections 
and moves from one painful situation to the 
next. 
Todd Solondz has a sharp eye for 
exploiting the ironies and preconceptions of 
average people which gives the movie some 
perceptively funny moments. For the most 
part however, the movie is awkward and 
painfully real. The director's skill in orches-
trating Dawn's character is remarkable, and 
this movie works because you don't feel 
sorry for her. You see her as she is, and you 
hope she won't sit next to you. 
Dawn doesn't discover the secret 
of beauty or popularity in the course of the 
movie. What she does find is much more 
credible—nothing much. 
Nothing much 
except the beginnings of self-reliance and an 
understanding of what might be the really 
important things in life. 
Welcome to the Dollhouse played 
through September 8, but it is not the last 
movie to be shown at the Mary Riepma Ross 
Film Theater. For those of you who are new 
to Lincoln, the Mary Riepma Ross Film 
Theater is located in the Sheldon Art Gallery 
on the UNL campus (right behind the Lied 
Center). The Ross Film Theaters main film 
series is made up entirely of indie films care-
fully selected from the best film festivals 
around the world including the Sundance 
Film Festival in Arizona and the Cannes Film 
Festival in France. 
In addition to its regular film series 
the Ross Theater offers two other film series, 
The UPC International series and a film stud-
ies class series. The UPC film series is a 
series of the best new films from foreign 
countries. I've yet to be disappointed by 
these films since they are usually of excellent 
quality and quite interesting. Naturally those 
films that are not in English are sub-tided. 
The third film series is shown by the films 
studies class every week on Tuesdays and 
Wednesdays—generally at 1:00 p.m. and 
3:15 p.m. The exciting thing about these 
movies is that they are free. Film studies 
movies range from current foreign releases to 
American classics. For a complete schedule 
of the film series offered by the Mary 
Riepma Ross Theater, or if you have any 
questions, contact Brian Ruckle. 
Make an investment this semester and take 
the time to enjoy some real quality films. 
You'll never look at movies the same way 
again! 
) rendon Sexton, Jr. and Heather Matarazzo star in Welcome to the Dollhouse. 
The great outdoors 
Jrian Ruckle 
\&EEditor 
Throughout 
Lincoln, parks 
and plots of land 
;xist for people to escape from the noise and 
forget city life. The Pioneers Park nature 
center is more than just a park. It has one of 
the Lincoln's eleven arboretums and is a 
wildlife sanctuary for buffalo, elk, white-
ailed deer and other native Nebraska ani-
mals. 
The nature center inhabits a corner 
Df the larger Pioneers Park. Approaching the 
:enter, you can see the elk and buffalo fro: 
the road, but to really appreciate the park yoi 
tiave to get out and walk. 
Once out of the car, you leave thad' 
asphalt for a blanket of wood chips shreddeM, 
from last year's Christmas trees. The lov^f 
hum of the car is replaced by the highest 
pitched chirping of crickets and buzz ol 
:icadas. Next to the Chet Ager Center lie 
:ultivated herb gardens carefully identified 
with name plates. 
Ready to stretch your legs? Six 
miles of hiking trails wind through the 192 
acres. The nature center gained 52 acres 
since last June and added the 2 mile Ben 
Verley Trail. 
Not just a pretty place, the purpose 
of the Chet Ager Center is education and 
preservation of Nebraska's natural heritage. 
During the fall, over 100 school kids visit the 
Center. For the weekend wanderer, every 
Saturday and Sunday at 2:00 p.m., the nature 
center offers free guided hikes. The hikes 
carry a theme decided upon by the group, 
such as insects, nests, or wildflowers.The 
Chet Ager Center also sponsors several sea-
sonal events. On Sept. 27, it will hold the 
utumnal Equinox Hike. 
Constellation 
Walks will be held Sept. 13, Oct. 11, Nov. 8, 
and Dec. 6. 
Holiday themes are the 
{Halloween Spooktacular Oct 24-26 and 
Woodland Holiday Dec. 13-14. 
These 
events do require a small fee between $3-5, 
and the Center asks for pre-payment. For 
Ihnes, prices and meeting place call 441-
7895. 
Hours from September till May are 
Monday through Saturday from 8:30 a.m.-5 
p.m. and Sunday noon till 5 p.m. 
The notebook as an icon, a receptacle for thoughts and ideas, is a prevelant 
symbol of learning, conveying the universality of education. This 22 foot high 
sculpture was created by a husband and wife team, Claes Oldenburg and 
Coosje van Bruggen who together have collaborated 20 + large-scale sculpture 
projects around the world. Torn Notebook is planted in downtown Lincoln. 
Check it out. And while you're there, ask about the symbolism built into the 
pages of Torn Notebook. It'll take you by surprise. For info call 472-2461. 
realism 
A 
profanity 
C 
violence 
A 
moral value 
C 
beauty 
C 
inspiring 
C 
depth BH 
overall A' 
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 
Starlight, starbright 
Jeremy Cornforth 
Reporter 
Long ago when I was a 
Helping Hand in the pseudo-
military Pathfinder club, we 
worked on our astronomy honor. 
My entire upper grade classroom would memorize star charts 
by day, then futilely attempt to find the same stars at night. 
Once a week we were allowed to stay up late to breathe in the 
Tennessee air and get cricks in our necks. The only things 
that I managed to recognize were Orion, the Big Dipper and 
a passing squadron of Apaches. Knoxville was an interesting 
place to look at the stars, but I was an abysmal astronomer. 
Somehow I got my honor, and I'm sure it's sitting in the bot-
tom of one of my mother's dresser drawers right now. 
With the encouragement of the Clocktower staff, I was 
dispatched to look at the stars again, this time at our own 
Hyde Memorial Observatory at Holmes Park. I bet you did-
n't even know it was there, did you? My plan was to bike 
over to Holmes Lake on 
Saturday night, drink in an hour of stargazing, then scurry 
back to tell you all about it. Why a Saturday night? Because 
the observatory is staffed by local volunteers and thus is open-
only on Saturday, nights. I got a hot date, though, and had to 
forgo the trip. Just kidding. The sky was cloudy, so looking 
at things above 2000 feet was out of the question. I never got 
to look at the stars. Kind of anticlimactic, huh? 
Here's the good news, though: you can visit the observa-
tory yourself! The facility is located by Holmes Lake Golf 
Course, off of 70th Street south of Van Dom. There are three 
telescopes, plenty of knowledgeable volunteers, and a special 
program about astronomy, constellations, or space. You can 
visit anytime from sundown until 11 p.m. on Saturday nights 
(7-10 p.m. starting in October), so there's still time to make 
the late movie at the Starship 9. For those obsessed with 
cheap dates, there is no admission charge; bringing a power-
ful calculator to calculate distances is optional. Let me know 
how it goes for you. I hope you see more than a flock of heli-
copters. 
Lee's Groovy Revoovies 
R. Kelly 
R. Kelly 
Artist: R. Kelly 
Album: R. Kelly 
Rating: 3 Razor Bums on a Bald Head 
"Who is R. Kelly?" If I had a dime for every 
time...never mind. For those who aren't familiar with 
R. Kelly and his music; a brief introduction. Please 
allow me to paint a picture of him. Imagine Willie 
Otey on a stage, bathed in light, singing at the top of 
his voice. This is the general appearance of R. Kelly, 
except A LOT nicer. R. Kelly is right now one of the 
hottest R&B artists in America. His third major 
release, the self-titled "R. Kelly" is well on its way to 
becoming his most successful to date; 
• Oh thisrelease, R. transformed his lyrical- ' 
Style radically from the "I Don't See Nuthin'-
Wiong (W^th a Little Pumpkin-Rind)" Of his 
iriulti-platinUm "12 Play" disc. On "R. Kelty,'' ' 
the songs speak against the decaying values' of 
our country, proclaiming our need to love and 
respect one another. 
One thing that has not changed about R. Kelly 
is his musical style. The disk is peppered with a 
few dance songs, but his trademark slow grind is 
in full effect throughout the majority of the disc. 
If you're looking to get your groove on, this is 
what you want. 
This music could put pep in the step of even 
the most pious professors on campus. I keep 
waiting to catch the fourth floor of the Dick 
building booming with R. Kelly cranked to song "11," 
but it hasn't happened yet. 
HOT SPOT: 'Down Low" 
SO-WHATCUT: "As I Look Into 
Life" 
Colored 
Threads: 
Places 
lb 
go, 
things to 
see 
Tanya Spilovoy 
AAE Editor 
Union College is like a quilt made up of hundreds of 
different colored threads. " It is a collage of people 
from different cultural backgrounds. Each person 
with his or her unique qualities enriches our commu-
nity. That is why the goal of Arts and Entertainment 
this year will be to reflect the exciting personalities, 
flavor, and cultural diversity of our campus. You will 
find the latest happenings across a spectrum of inter-
ests featured in this year's Arts and Entertainment. If 
you have something I should know about, have sug-
gestions, or complaints, just e-mail me @ taspilov or 
call 486-2765. 
Free concerts will be given at noon in the Historic 
Haymarket at 14th Ave. and "N" street. On the 25th, 
folksinger Paul Newton will entertain. It should 
prove an inexpensive toe-tapping good time. 
Wallace arid Gomit: The Best of Aardman Animation 
is a seventy-seven minute film featuring the clayma-
tion work of Aardman British artists. The film 
should be packed with crazy fun as you watch the 
clay models in start/stop-motion bend and twist and 
move in the traditional slap-stick humor of the nine-
teen-twenties. Anthony Lane' of the New Yorker 
calls improbably the most fun in town.. This will 
also be showing at the Mary Riepma Ross Film 
Theater. 
Screenings will be held Thursdays, 
Saturdays and Sundays from September 26 through 
October 5. For times caH 4723353. 
On October 4, the Christian music band Newsboys, 
with special guest bands Geoff Moore and the 
Distance and Plankeye, will stop in Lincoln on their 
'Take Me To Your Leader" world tour. For more 
information call 449-2800.