New Staff Editorial Pg. 2 Events , Pg. 5 Inside UC Pp. 6&7 Vol. 64, No. 2 Union College Student Newspaper September 7, 1989 Campus Ministries Promises Fulfilling Year Jeff Deming Student Writer Wow! A new year has already begun. Can you believe that another school year is here, and for some this is the last year of fun, and then it's off to the real world of 8:00 to5:00 jobs. I have just returned from my experimental exposure to the "real world," and I'm glad that I won't have to do that again for a couple more years. As I look at all the changes here at Union and get reacquainted with the old familiar things, I can tell already that Campus Ministries is the place to be! Union for Christ has a lot of fun and exciting activities planned. I had a chance a couple of days ago to talk with our Union for Christ (UFQ Director Byard Parks, and in listening to him speak about the UFC's plans, I found his enthusiasm contagious. I found myself anticipating the many activities to come. We have already had a good Week of Prayer, presented to us by Richard Tkachuck, and a very success- ful BRUSH day. For any of you who participated in BRUSH day, I'm sure you Richard Tkachuck Fall Week of Prayer Speaker share the good feeling. Some of the current up and coming events are under the under- the-clock to wer musical vespers and C ABL cafe on September 8, a Sabbath adventure to Henry Doorly Zoo on September 30, and an adopt-a-faculty program. If you haven't participated yet in the two previous activities, don't despair. There are many more to come. And why wait for the planned activities in order to get in- volved with an organization? Our Campus Ministries also has Union for Kids, CABL, Student Missions, and others. Union for Christ not only gives you the opportunity to help others and attend special activities, but also to learn more about our friend Jesus and to grow closer to Him and surround ourselves with other Christian believers. Christ is the basis of our educa- tion, and being involved with UFC is just one of the ways we as a college family can get ourselves ready for our homecoming. So if you want to learn more about what UFC has planned, contact Byard Parks, Shelly Gonzales, or Aaron Hatfield, or stop by the Campus Ministries office. We will see you at the next UFC activity. God Bless you. UPS Foundation Provides Scholarships for Nebraska Colleges and Universities Ten independent colleges and universi- ties in Nebraska will receive 420,500 in grants from a $21 million educational endowment fund established in 1979 by The UPS Foundation. The UPS Founda- tion is the main charitable arm of United Parcel Service. The grants, used primarily for scholar- ships and student aid, will be distributed in the state through the Nebraska Independ- ent College Foundation, one of the 39 state and regional associations affiliated with the Stamford, Connecticut-based Founda- tion for Independent Higher Education, administrator of the fund. Union College is one of the area col- leges that will receive UPS Foundation grants. Others include Bellevue College, Bellevue; College of Saint Mary, Omaha; Concordia College, Seward; Dana Col- lege, Blair; Doane College, Crete; Hastings College, Hastings; Midland Luther Col- lege, Fremont; Nebraska Wesleyan Uni- versity, Lincoln; and York College, York. Last year, Union received $1950 from UPS. This year, we will receive $2050. In the past, UPS funds have been used for UPS continued on page 3 Pete Rose...You Decide Page 8 Pages 4& 5 Editorial Sharon &Timm Editors-at-Urge Editorial: What is there to do here? Tell a story? Fill some space? Say nice things about somebody? Change the world? Save the whales? Make you think? Speak our minds? Speak your minds? Maybe you'd like to speak our minds for us! What bugs you? What really gets your goat? What makes your nostrils flair? What irks you to no end? And not just that, what makes your cheeks rosy? What makes you warm inside? What is really keen? How The Clocktower Editor Sharon Bartter Feature Editor Timm Chapman Advertising Manager Angie Beltz Sports Editor Carl Freund Assistant Sports Editor Jenny McCollum Entertainment Editor Peat Luke Photo Editor Garcie Monthie Sponsor Linda Dick Printer Graphic Masters The Clocktower is a bi-monthly publication of the ASB. It is a forum for student-oriented news and opin- ion. All letters, personals, stories, poems, large $ bills, and loose change should be in our mailbox by Friday at 12 noon for inclusion the follow- ing week. All unsigned editorials are the opinion of The Clocktower and will be written by the editors. All other opinions expressed are those of the author and must bear his or her name. The Clocktower reserves the right to edit and/or paraphrase let- ters for reasons of clarity and space. does the gas pump know when your tank is full? How does everyone know what Tim's name is? Why is the third verse the same as the first? There are many things to make one wonder about Union College. There are many things that make one say, "Hmmmmmmmmm." Like Hewlett-Packard, we always ask, "What for," or "How much?" We were walking around the campus the other day and noticed a few strange phenomenons. Why is there a Japanese garden in front of Prescott Hall? Did some student trade it in for a semester of free tuition, or did it just grow there? Or is it a memorial to a former exchange student? Or is it just a way to waste good parking space? Where did the "C" in Prescott go? Or is the name really "Pres ott" Hall? How many convention attendees have searched the cam- pus endlessly for "Prescott" Hall? How many have gone astray? Who caused this terrible calamity? Why are the doors at Culver Hall clear glass? Where did they get glass that thick? How much would some unsuspecting new student have to fork out to replace such a door that is most certainly worth its weight in gold? Does anyone actually live in Culver? Why don't the stairs go straight up to the front doors? How many squirrels have died jump- ing off the precipice in front of Culver? And just how many squirrels are there on campus anyway? Why doesn't anyone ever take down the flag? What would happen if someone bumed it? Some might praise them. At least then we would have to get a spankin' new untat- tered, unbleached, undisgraceful symbol of American freedom (and freedom of speech). Did we actually see more new sidewalks being laid last week? Amazing. These edi- tors are quite impressed. Really. Too bad we didn't get out there quickly enough to write "John + Lilya = True Love" in them. Many happy returns to the Mom and Dad of our campus. What is that green thing behind Rees Hall, in the midst of Rees Hall parking lot? What is that ten-foot grass thing doing there? Is it there to add to the arboretum landscaping effects? Or is it just there to waste good parking space? Why is Marie Smith tall? Why don't we have enough phone lines to cover our growing campus? Why are the ceilings in the student center black? Why are there metal stakes and yellow twine around the flower gardens? Wouldn't hot pink look much better? Why is the most convenient part of Prescott's back parking lot gravel, while the boonies part is nicely paved? Will we lose our Pell Grants if we're caught with that illegal substance, the illicit loft? These are true mysteries of the Union College campus. Do you know the answers to any of these questions? If so, please send them to the editors, c/o The Clocktower. Mailboxes may be found in Rees Hall #267, Prescott Hall #613, or the Bookstore #353. This space contributed as a public service. 2 - The Clocktower September 7,1989 ASB 62,000 Intros at ASB Handshake UPS continued from page 1 student educational purposes such as in- creasing library holdings and scholarships. In addition to the aforementioned col- leges and universities, the more than $1.2 million generated by the fund will be distributed this year to 600 other institu- tions of higher education throughout the country. Since its establishment ten years ago, The UPS Foundation educational fund has provided over $8 million in scholar- ships and student aid. "We are proud to assist deserving students at independent colleges," said Clement E. Hanrahan, Director of The UPS Foundation. "Cor- porate America needs the leadership and motivation these scholars provide in the workforce to sustain competitiveness. The investment for UPS has been worthwhile, and we encourage other companies to es- tablish similar education funds," said Hanrahan. "It is only through the generous philan- thropic support of businesses and chari- table foundations like The UPS Founda- tion that NICF has been able to provide needed operating funds and scholarship grants to our ten, non-tax-supported col- leges since our founding in 1953," said Thomas R. Horman, President of the Nebraska Independent College Founda- tion (NICF). "Businesses increasingly recognize the importance of investing in the future by encouraging quality students to attend the college of their choice, and clearly scholarship funds make that choice possible," added Horgan. Midwest Foun- dation for Higher Education is a fairly new operation whose sole purpose is to provide financial aid for Union College students. Compared to last school year, Union College has seen a 30% increase in schol- arships and grants. In addition to the $96,100 awarded for named scholarships in 1988- 89, $653,077 was also received in institu- tional grants and scholarships. For the current school year, $143,600 has been awarded for named scholarships with more coming. Not all funds have been received; however, Union has until June 30,1990 to receive funds. Reported by Timm Chapman Staff Writer As the sun's last rays sank into dark- ness, a pilgrimage of Union students made its way to the '49ers Field. It was 8:30 p.m., the 26th of August, and the first Saturday night ASB event was about to occur: The ASB Handshake. Soon, nearly 300 Union College stu- dents, faculty, and staff were lined up in a gigantic line of humanity, stretching al- most as far as the eye could see. ASB President Dave R. Johnson got the ball rolling by shaking the hand of Union College President John Wagner, then continuing down the line in order to shake the hand of each and every participant. Before the night was over, this single handshake would burgeon into over 62,000 separate handshakes and introductions. Welcome! The Student Alumni Asso- ciation (S AA) would like to wish all of you a successful and eventful year. We hope to help you do just that We've already started the year out with the Ski Jam. I think we can safely say, everyone who came out to Lake Pawnee had a wet time. If you were one of the few who didn't make it, I would like to remind you there are many more fun-filled events planned for this year. Coming up soon in the month of Sep- tember will be our first annual Tricycle After this exercise in marathon hand- clasping, each well-introduced Unionite was treated to a smiling ASB officer's face, a cold soft drink, and as many doughnuts as one would care to eat. When all of the hand-holding, germ- spreading, and introducing was coming to a delightful end, most of the attendees would have left with smiles on their faces. But the fun wasn't over yet. The stadium lights dropped, and hundreds of soon-to- be-rewarded heads turned towards the skies. As the Lincoln sky was lit by ASB-pro- vided fireworks, choruses of "Oooooohs" and "Aaaaaahs" escaped from the awe- stricken crowd. Both ASB President Dave Johnson and Social Vice-President Machelle Lee ex- pressed pleasure at the turnout for the Handshake. They invite all students and staff to up-coming ASB events, which surely will be as enjoyable as the Hand- shake proved to be. Races. This will prove to be tire-squealing fun for the whole school family. You might want to get out that neglected trike of yours and take a few trial runs around the parking lot so you don't embarrass yourself at the races. Be looking for more information about that and other up-com- ing events, such as the Suitcase Party, the All-Nighter, and the Annual Christmas Tree Lighting. We'll be looking forward to seeing you! by Barbra Rosenthal, SAA President $ DONATE TODAY $ This Coupon is worth $20.00 on your 1st and 2nd donations (within 6 days) Present this coupon—Earn Extra Cash! For more information call the "Friendliest Staff in Town." Lincoln Plasma 126 N. 14th St., Suite #2 • 474-2335 SAA Is Hot, Hip, and Happenin' Nebraska Independent College Foundation and Jennifer McCollum September 7,1989 The Clocktower - 3 Feature Union College Welcomes New Staff Members New Biology Professor for Math/Science Div. Dr. Henry Zuill has joined the Science and Math Division as Professor of Biol- ogy. Although he has taught a wide range of biology and science courses, his spe- cialty is tropical ecology. First semester at Union, he is teaching genetics, microbiol- ogy, and research methods. Bom in Bermuda, Dr. Zuill graduated from Atlantic Union College and earned post-graduate degrees from Loma Linda University. He has had nearly 30 years of teaching experience, at both the academy and college levels. He has taught at Atlan- Dr. Henry Zuill tic Union College, Loma Linda Univer- sity, and Universidad de Montemoralos in NuevoLeon, Mexico. From 1977 to 1987, Dr. Zuill was professor and chairman of the biology department at Antillian Col- lege in Mayaguez, Puerto Rico, and di- rected a Science Improvement Project in that country, funded by the U.S. Depart- ment of Education. Dr. Zuill and his wife Joyce have two sons, Brian and Richard, and one grand- daughter. Linda Dick College Relations Karl* Britain The office of institutional advancement welcomes Rob Moore to the staff as graphic artist in media productions. Bom and raised in Lincoln, Rob graduated from the Uni- versity of Nebraska in May, 1989, with a Bachelor of Fine Arts, emphasizing com- puter graphics and graphic design. At Union, Rob's main responsibility will be overseeing print production from a design standpoint. Newly wed, Rob mar- ried Jeanne Wilson on August 19. Jeanne works as a unit information coordinator at St. Elizabeth's Community Health Center in Lincoln. Keep an eye on the campus bulletin boards and in the publications for Rob's innovative and creative designs. New Associate Librarian Alumnus of UC Karla Britain, Union's newest associate librarian, is also a 1967 Union graduate. Ms. Britain is in charge of technical serv- ices, including acquisitions and catalog- ing. Cataloging on the integrated on-line system is new for her, but she says it's easy to use and greatly simplifies the process. Originally from northeastern Iowa, Ms. Britain earned her masters degree in li- brary science from the University of Maryland. She worked as college librarian at Columbia Union College in Takoma Park, Maryland; and at Walla Walla Col- lege in College Place, Washington. Also an experienced medical librarian, Ms. Britain has directed hospital libraries at Washing- ton Adventist Hospital in Washington, D.C., and at Porter Memorial Hospital in Denver, Colorado, before coming to Un- ion. For fun, Ms. Britain likes to read (a trademark for librarians, she says), travel, and/or work word games and puzzles. Rob Moore Graphic Artist Joins UC Media Productions 4 - The Clocktower September 7,1989 Feature New Full-Time Psychology Professor Gloria Hicinbothom, associate profes- sor of psychology, came to Union College in August from the University of Con- necticut. She attended the university from 1984 through last August, finishing her classwork research for her Ph.D. in child and developmental psychology. Her dis- sertation topic is the contextual sensitivity of duckling vocalizations. Ms. Hicinbothom graduated from Walla Walla College with a B.S. in Elementary Education and later an M.Ed, in counsel- ing and guidance. She received an M.A. Calendar of Events 09/09 ...... Waubonsie State Park 09/10 Business Club Party at Holmes Lake 09/11 Seriate Elections 09/13-17 Biology Field Trip 09/14 The Cloektower deadline! 09/15 Vespers—Michael Pettijohn 09/16 FES—"A Cry in the Dark" 09/18-22 CABL Stress Management Week 09/20 Next exciting Cloektower hits the stands 09/23 ASB Road Rally V L/ Gloria Hicinbothom from the University of Connecticut in child and development psychology. She has taught at Spokane Junior Acad- emy; several schools in Walla Walla, Washington, including Walla Walla Col- lege; the La Sierra Campus of Loma Linda University; and the University of Hart- ford. Before receiving the invitation to teach at Union College, Gloria Hicinbothom had accepted a position with the University of Wisconsin system. "I wanted to share the opportunities that have been provided for me in my Adventist education with the students at UC," says Ms. Hicinbothom. "I am pleased that the people in the Uni- versity of Wisconsin system were under- standing and permitted me to come toUC this fall." by Valerie Wool/brd CPR Classes MED, INC., A non-profit training organization affiliated with Eastern Ambulance Service, is offering CPR classes to the general public. Classes forming NOW! For more information contact Ash Story or Greg Ellsworth MED, INC. - 474-6665 Check our prices! September 7,1989 The Clocktower - 5 Inside (JC Devious Duo Returns with New Fervor Hanz Dude One Dear Hanz and Franz, So far I've had a great summer break, except now two to four hours of my day is to be spent in class, and my friends don't understand why I can't watch Leave It to Beaver and Love Boat reruns with them. What do I do? Signed, Responsible Dear Responsible, That'stough. Believe us. We know a lot of bonding takes place in the television syndicate rerun slots. It's tough to go through bonding withdrawal. We suggest bringing a portable TV to class and your posse. If the teacher says no, bust out and bawl. Dear Hanz and Franz, Yesterday I went to the deli for break- fast and met up with a guy with whom I enjoyed a delicious breakfast. He was very charming. (I think the new pink seats brought out his best and opened my heart to a new dimension for love.) My problem is I'm dating someone back home in Hollindale, Kansas. I like him too, but this guy from Lincoln is so up-town and civi- lized.... He even ate doughnuts with his teeth! What should I do? Signed, Bewildered Dear Bewildered, It's obvious. It's so obvious. Dear John the kid from Kansas, and brush up on your doughnut dunking skills. Dear Hanz and Franz, The other day I was late to school because my hand got stuck to my hair as I perfectly perfected it for forty-five min- utes using that gooey glue gel that they sell for nineteen bucks at Hair Express. Any- way, I raced my red moped to school and parked correctly in the student parking section located somewhere near south Des Moines, and I booked to class...after I studied my profile in my side rear-view mirror for about twenty minutes to make sure my hair was still like...exact...you know, dude? Anyway, my question is, do teachers really care here if you're forty minutes late to class? Signed, Freedomed-Feeling Freshman Dear Freed, No, in your case I think the teachers can relate. However, the other students who drive CARS would appreciate the opportu- nity to park on this side of Des Moines, so please refrain from slotting your moped into a twelve-foot wide AUTOMOBILE stall. Why don't you pack it up in your Brady Bunch lunch box, or Trapper Keeper, or try a bike rack in the future? Dear Miss Etiquette, My teacher invited me over for lunch last Sabbath, and I accepted. I really like his house and his living arrangements. The chalkboard walls in every room were quite bold and new to me, but it was a refreshing touch, I felt. Everything went well. We had a delightful dinner of coleslaw and Franz One Dude cottage cheese loaf spiced with chive and a side order of vegetarian goldfish fins. It was great, but then came dessert. Suddenly before me was Kool Aid jello with chalk bits inside. I couldn't eat this, and I ran all the way back to school. I feel awful. How do I handle this in the future? Signed, Mannerless Mary Dear Miss Mannerless, Since it is hard to avoid contact with faculty, I suggest that in the future you decline going to their homes and request that they join you for Sabbath lunch in the cafeteria (on their card, of course). How- ever, if you are ever asked to eat anything you don't want again, pretend to acciden- tally throw the plate against the wall and appropriately apologize. This will at worst save your reputation from a rude labeling and reduce it to one of clumsiness. 6 - The Clocktower September 7,1989 Inside UC The Vine: Alive and Plentiful Phoenix R. Nixon Resurrectee We're baaaaack! True to the highest literary standards set by the illustrious new staff, this most exotic of all columns has been preserved in the nature to which it is accustomed. There is nothing more joyous to this reporter than seeing justice served. I think seeing Jason Munsterteiger on foot is a wonderful way to begin the year. Three cheers to Dean Parmele for striking a "Tow" for liberty. Rumor has it that phone service for all will be ahead of schedule this year...somewhere around November25. The Senior Citizens' Center on Culver 3rd would appreciate visits and gifts of food anytime. Those old-timers need cheering up. Apparently the post-handshake aero- bics class was a hoppin' good success. Whitney Schauer claims that his last name is a Muldavian translation for "Swayze." Be sure to compliment Jeff Deming on his upper lip careful grooming, for twenty- seven months has led to his thick mous- tache. Where does Jon Dale get his phone numbers, and who is "we"? It appears that Machelle Lee has taken an additional job as hood ornament. Dear Shelley Peck, this journalist knows who your secret admirer is. Well, kids, watch for a potentially friendly merger between a set of prominent students at Union. This could be a long -and short-term relation- ship. Darin Loewen always carries a coat hanger in his car.. .just in case he locks his keys in it. Fortunately, his better three- quarters has a spare set when he needs rescuing. If you are trying to find better insurance rates, be sure to contact Mark Fen ton, Union's new Dean-for-Life. I hear Tom Leatherman can keep his car now that he's got new insurance rates. Tom's car, by the way, is perhaps the finest set of wheels on campus. Be sure to compliment him on finding a car that is not a Camaro or Mustang. That reminds me...theft is once again on the rise, so lock your cars and take your tapes inside at night. Ask Chip Meekma what his favorite hockey rules are. He prefers real rules, but Carl "Gretsky" Freund straightened Chip out quickly. Hey, Mark Trana, when can we cook your green chicken? Tell me, why does Amy Baugher smile all the time? Union College Master Ser- geant Chloe Foutz has already found a Cheetos bag in her domain. Tread lightly, my fellow students, our library is booby- trapped with old editions of The Clock- tower. Stories are floating about that Myrtle Bowleg has found one of her friends to be very engaging. Should you ever need to know what time it is, don't hesitate to call Denny Sexson. His psychological skills are amazing. The Physics department says that the stress cracks in the clocktower will cause its collapse before Christmas. Friends, here's a little poem: "Mickey and Murray one or the other who's always in a hurry are just as predictable ...as the weather." Need we say more? Penny Roberts bets her Mustang can outrun Brian Horman's Capri anytime, anywhere. Now, my com- rades, here's this week's Hot and Not Hot list: What's Hot: 1. My room (literally) 2. Certain new freshman 3. Certain old-timers 4. Dave Johnson's sandals 5. Mark Smith's tooth 6. And definitely KatyBee What's Not Hot: 1. In-coming cash flow 2. Dull array of moving pictures avail able 3. Food opportunities 4. Richard Britton's home state 5. Tim Chapman's wardrobe 6. Stalag's Prescott Hall Recently, I've been pondering these questions: Is Pete Rose a jerk or what? What class is worth staying up until 11:40 p.m. to begin studying? Only Ryan Ander- son knows. Will a two-hundred-foot an- tenna on Prescott improve TV reception? Will Marilyn Carr really provide satellite dishes for all TV owners? Will Tom "Hindo" Hinde find a woman worthy of his proposed street waltz here at Union? Did Freddy Beranek buy those shades from PlaySkool or Fisher Price? Why can't I find anything to say about Troy Wood? Did Peat Luke turn his hair around this summer? What shape is your life in when "Perry Mason" reruns are its high- light? And where have all the jobs gone? I'm curious...is the Deli a filming set for a new version of "Pollyanna," or is it a center for a new flea market? Don't forget to tell Scoot how great his make- over looks. Diem Tran hasn't punched anyone this week. I'm impressed. Your whitewashing attempt didn't work, Cheri Carrick. Joel and Tim will be willing to help you brush up your style, if necessary. Craig Carr is leading the polls for best- dressed officer this year. Sorry, Mark, you're too weird.... Listen folks, this potential Pulitzer winner needs as much information as possible. The year's early yet, but the juice is out there. Let me know what you know. Cordially, Phoenix Nixon September 7,1989 The Clocktower - 7 Sports Pete Rose -- Man, Myth, or Murderer? Cari Freund Sports Editor Pete Rose—man, myth, or murderer? Is baseball the anarchical sport it appears to be? Pete Rose might still get his shot at the Hall of Fame, but first fans, players, and the hierarchy of baseball must decide whether Mr. Rose is man, myth, or murderer. Currently, Mr. Rose is trying to claw his way into the hall of fame. The only prob- lem is that he is starting from the Hall of Shame. First of all, Pete Rose didn't kill any- body, or did he? In 1985, the night he broke Ty Cobb's all-time hit record, there was the look of ultimate fulfillment on his face. All of baseball lay at his feet. But on a rainy Thursday morning in Cincinnati, Ohio, victory was not to be seen or felt as media gathered to hear Rose's side to an agreement that could ban him for life from the game that he loves. Bart Giamatti, the baseball commis- sioner, said of Pete Rose's betting, "It was a sorry episode for the game." During the course of this ordeal, Mr. Rose smoothly stroked lies like singles, claiming that the accusations were "ridiculous." If Rose cared about the game of baseball and its reputation so much, why didn't he admit his fault in the first place? Instead, Mr. Rose ran baseball's reputation into a rainy- day mud that more than sent his following, his teams following, and baseball's fol- lowing home with a raincheck ticket stub. THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON On Friday, the 20th of March, Pete Rose met with then baseball commissioner Pete Ueberoth concerning betting allega- tions. On March 31, Sports Illustrated broke the story to the baseball world of Rose's betting problem. Sports Illustrated backed the story, like a solid catcher, using various associates, bookies, family, and friends to basically tell the story for them. On March 27, Rose threw Sports Illus- trated a serious curve when he said, "I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I never bet on baseball.'' All this did for Rose was diminish the game by making a farce out of its leadership, caus- ing his fans and following to walk out on a dry limb for him, so he could later saw it off behind them and start a five-month mess to murder the game that Rose himself so loved. If you still think Pete Rose is innocent of murder, ask yourself what you think of baseball's authority today. And ask your- self if Pete Rose should be voted in to the sacred Hall of Fame for holding fourteen major league baseball records and for tying five other major league records, or should one allow Rose and all of the accomplish- ments to walk completely away from the game? Secondly, is baseball the anarchial sport it appears to be? According to Giamatti, this ordeal "strengthened the game of baseball." And according to the New York Times, "The five-page agreement, reached after four months of sporadic negotiations, encompasses virtually everything the commissioner wanted to achieve, includ- THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON Peat Lute Guest Sports Writer ing reaffirmation of the authority of his office, andgrantsMr. Rose only theability to continue denying that he bet on baseball games.'' The seams of baseball might have acquired a little legal doctoring, but over- all a thread still seems to hold the game together. Giamatti and his commission are not out of the inning yet because Rose can apply for read mission in one year. The fourteen people previously banned from baseball never returned. Pete Rose, though, will try and will continue to make a mock- ery out of baseball's leaders. Finally, what's next for Mr. Rose? On April 25 in Cincinnati, Mr. Rose said, "When you're not doing nothing, why worry? People who do something worry. People that worry jump off bridges. I can walk across any bridge in the world.'' For Pete's sake—the man who made a mistake and broke a rule, the Myth who set four- teen records in America's game and de- serves to reach the Hall of Fame, the Murderer who broke the bat of baseball in many people's hearts—fans hope that that bridge has not been condemned. And as fans of the game, we sincerely hope that "Charlie Hustle" is worried now and seeking the help he needs. Because if he isn't, his problems have just begun. And you can bet on that safely, Pete. THE FAR SIDE By GARY LARSON 8 - The Clocktower September 7,1989