The Man in the Plaster Mask By Becky Lane What would cause Mr. McClelland to suddenly cancel his Drawing for Everyone class? Why would Lisette Deemer decide to unexpectedly postpone her voice lessons? What kind of emergency would bring a fire truck to Union College in the middle of the day? And what would possess two dentists to suddenly tell all of their waiting patients that their appointments would just have to be delayed? Aside from a half-price Deli special or a nuclear disaster, only one event could cause so much chaos in Lincoln, Nebraska. That's right—we are finally going to set the record straight on Eric Lunde's four-hour Plaster Mask Ordeal. Bizarre news of Lunde's brave battle with the clinging plaster face has spread from the halls of the art building to the far corners of our campus and city. For those wjio spend all of their waking hours playing pool in the Student Center or isolating unknowns in organic chemistry labs, here is a quick synopsis: On Thursday, April 16, in Engel Hall, Union College stu- dent Eric Lunde found his face trapped in a hardened plaster mask as a result of his attempt to create a replica of his face for an art class.Lunde and fellow student Dan Pot- ter were working together to make the plaster molds when the tragedy occurred. They covered their hair and faces with vaseline to prevent potential disasters, but apparently Lunde had an insufficient amount of vaseline on his hair. When it came time to remove the heavy plaster, the top portion was found to be permanently attached to his hair. Rather than panic immediately, they remained calm for about IS minutes in order to assess the situation. Then they decided that someone was needed to save Lunde's life, or at least his social life. At this point he did not suspect that the ordeal would be long. Lisette Deemer and Carolyn Adams were the first rescue workers to attempt to chip the plaster away without permanently rearranging Lunde's facial features. Meanwhile,' he was able to gaze sideways out from his prison as Mr. McClelland provided him with a play-by- play account of the happenings. Lunde was unaware that a mis- cellaneous crowd of 20 onlookers had gathered to entertain themselves by watching his plight. Two hours passed. Finally, Mr. McClelland an- nounced, "That's it- -we're calling 911." This was not espe- cially exciting to Lunde, and he ad- mits that it was actu- ally one of the most embarrassing mo- ments of the after- noon. "I didn't hear any sirens, thank goodness. But ev- eryone saw the fire truck, and news spread rapidly after that," he says. Un- fortunately, the fire fighters did not have any tools small enough to fit between the plaster and Lunde's scalp. He was so close to rescue, and yet so far. Anxiety began to build. "They told me to go to Bryan Hospital, but that was the last thing I wanted to do," he says. Then someone suggested the dentist's office across the street. Bad idea. "Now, I really wasn't very cool about that idea," Lunde says, "but I didn't explain why at the time." Of all the dentists in town, he didn't want to go across the street "because I had ceased to date that dentist's daughter about a week before." What an ironic twist of fate. Nev- ertheless, Lunde soon found himself walking through a crowded waiting room with a huge chunk of plaster hanging from his forehead. "I was glad I couldn't see everyone'staring at me," he says. Immediately,, all other patients were put on hold and the dental staff went to work on Lunde. The process was quite painful, and they did not give him Novacaine, but his mind remained free to ponder life. "I was sitting there thinking about how strange this was- -that I was sitting in a dental office having a dentist and an orthodontist work on me to get plaster off of my face. Figure that one out, why don't you?" Lunde admits that he was worried, but did not give up hope. The dentists continued to work for 30 minutes while Lunde made hairstyle plans for the future. "I figured I would have to get a crew cut immediately," he says. He also spent some time wondering if he would be fea- tured in the Clocktower when it was all over. At last the moment they had all been waiting for came—the heavy mask tumbled into his lap, and he was free. "The instant I stopped thinking it was about to come off, it did. I just looked down and was amazed that it was gone," Lunde recalls. After all of the fussing, he was made to sit and recover from the trauma for another 45 minutes. Finally "Plaster Mask" continued on page 4. ASB Student Center to be Completed ByRikkiStenbakken Those of you who have used any of the student center facilities lately have probably noticed a few changes. People have been working in there and things are getting done. Although it seems like things have been moving rather slowly this year, they are going to get a great big push this summer. From June 8 through 18 it is estimated that more than one hundred Maranatha volunteer workers will descend on the campus. They are intending to finish up lots of small jobs around campus that Plant Services just hasn't had time to do. Mostly though, they will be concentrating on the student center/deli area. This area also includes the auditorium. Maranatha is an active volunteer group based in Sacramento, California. Their main form of outreach is building churches all around the world. Many of their projects take them to places such as Mexico and Santo Domingo, but their service is not limited to overseas work. They have built many small-town churches in the United States. In fact, Maranatha helped to build the City Mission right here in town. Even though the majority of the volun- teers are not professional construction work- ers, they have gained much valuable experi- ence by simply going to a work project and learning by doing. Maranatha workers have a reputation for getting things done—and getting them done FAST. Their object is to accomplish as much as they can while they are at the project, because often after they leave a project, there are not enough people with time to finish the work. Each year Maranatha picks a work site for a convention. According to Gary Bollinger, Union applied some time ago to have the convention here even though they thought the chances of being selected were slim. This summer Union College is lucky enough to be hosting the Maranatha workers. "Student Center" continued on page 4. Choking on the Truth page 2. Homeshow page 4. Year in Sports page 5. Goodbye page 8. Editorial "Think for yourself and feel the walls around you become sand beneath your feet" —Queensryche H O Sex education at Union College ? W Yes! g Safe sex? fil Yes! I've learned many things in my life and especially at college. One of the most impor- tant things I've learned, or have been taught by my better teachers, is to think for myself. In this college atmosphere in which we live it is important that people learn to think for them- selves. When we were in high school we spent a lot of time trying to understand life and figuring out basics. But now we are in college, and we should understand some of the basics. Teach- ers and parents have always said that we shouldn't be influenced by others. We must do what we see as beneficial to us. However, most of us take that as not drinking, smoking, or doing drugs. People apply this thinking to peer pressure, and we don't apply this to all of our lives. As college age adults, we must take this a couple of steps further. I see people on this campus controlled by others or what others might think. People falling into a rut in which they do exactly what their friends do even if they don't want to. Their friends in turn do what they do because they think they have to. It becomes a vicious circle. Following your friends in all they do and think is not conducive to reality. You end up being an indecisive individual incapable of coping or living unless you're sure of what your friends are going to do first. I see people on this campus who want a boyfriend or girlfriend because they feel they need one. After all, their friends have them. They can't function without their fiiends or get some more friends to add a little variety to life. I see people following blindly the religion of their friends and parents. They know only the rules. They don't understand the principles that are involved. They don't seek to find out where they personally fit in their religion. Not thinking for themselves—just following plac- idly along. Let's shine in a little reality. If you follow your friends because they will not appreciate you if you think a little differently, or if you have friends outside their clique, get some new friends. You will only suffocate in this type of life. If you have to have a relationship because your friends do, then you need to get a clue. Following the religion ofyour parents or friends will get you nowhere if you don't understand how it applies to you. Thinking for yourself, searching out your own questions and answers, and allowing your friends to do the same is what life is about. Sheep follow each other blindly in all they do. Sheep are considered the dumbest creatures on the face of this earth. Show a little bit of your human side and start thinking for yourself. But what is "safe sex"? Not the use of condoms. Condoms fail 15.7% of the time among married couples—a lot more for the unmarried and minorities. That's enough to have a baby every year. Couples who rely on them for birth control are called "parents." Since conception can only occur one or two days in a month, most of the failures go unnoticed. But one slippage or breakage of the condom in sex with an HIV infected person is a death sentence for the partner-even after 500 "safe" episodes. Condoms are an iron curtain to pleasure. People who rely on them will, in the heat of passion, sometimes take the chance that their partner is safe. They forget, when it comes to disease, that they are having sex with all the ones their partners had sex with and all the ones those people had sex with, ad infinitum. That can add up to a lot of people. Condoms are a spider web for protection. Holes in latex rubber can be five microns wide- -enough to protect from sperm, but not from viruses which are450times smaller than sperm. Among 800 sexologists at a recent conference, not one indicated a willingness to have "pro- tected sex" with an HIV infected person. And yet these people will tell kids they can have "safe sex" with condoms. "Safe sex" with comdoms is a disasterous misnomer. It creates the impression that one can safely be promiscuous. Today all nature is screaming that only monogamous sex is safe. Even if condoms could protect from dis- ease, sex outside of marriage can do incalcuable damage. How can one trust a partner who is used to sleeping around? "Safe sex" for Union College? You betcha! The kind that God provided for—between two committed people whom God has joined to- gether for life. Sincerely, Beatrice Neall The Clocktower Staff The Clocktower is a bi-weekly publi- cation of the Union College Associ ated Student Body. Letters to the Edi tor Personals and submissions must be under our door by noon on the Sunday prior to publication. Editorials are opinions of the Clocktower. All other opinions expressed are those of the author and must bear his or her name. The Clocktower reserves the right to edit letters for reasons of space or clarity. ShovingGoodFoodDown Others Throats ByDougHardt I love the Adventist church. I have been bom and raised in what I consider a Biblically and fundamentally sound church. 1 believe that we are the "bearers" of truth to the world in these last days of Earth's short history. Doctrinally speaking, I would argue for Ad- ventism above every other religion and church. However, there is one thing that really upsets me about our church. Why don't we tolerate other people that think a little differ- ently than we do? For example, I have heard rumors that somebody in our Mid-America Union complained that Union College had a pastor that was too liberal and that is why enrollment was down. They also said, suppos- edly, that they would not encourage anybody from their conference to attend Union because .of that fact. Now, whether or not this one rumor is true is not what I care about; I care that attitudes like these can even exist in our church. And the sad thing about it is that they do! There are many examples in our denomination where conservatives and liberals become Biblical pugilists and go a few rounds in the name of Adventism. I am not trying to argue that the liberals or the conservatives are more correct in their theological views than the other. I am arguing that each side needs to accept the other and the way they think. This attitude that "I am right and you are wrong" has got to stop. Although this attitude is prevalent in all of society, I think it is more prevalent in the religious sector. I believe that this is because people believe they are divinely inspired to proclaim the truths that they have discovered about God to the world. They think that since it works for them in their relationship with Christ, it should work for the rest of the world in their relationship with Christ. The crazy thing is that they believe God actually approves of their holy close- mindedness. For example, look at the Middle- East. Why do you think those terrorists are so scary? It's because they believe killing people of an opposite religion is what God wants them to do. They will fight to the death for their beliefs. Although the Adventist Church's problem is nowhere near that magnitude, a microcosm of it does exist. We have people in our church that believe if you don't think like they think, then you shouldn 't have the right to think at all. Well, I'll tell them what I think about that! I think that attitude is dead wrong. The problem with people that have that attitude is that they have forgotten that religion' at it's core is a relationship with Jesus Christ, not a set of doctrines established by a church. The church is a human attempt to make a support group for this relationship. For ex- ample, if I were to start a start a father-son support group, I hope I wouldn't criticize fathers who don't play catch or go fishing with their sons. Even if that was the best thing for me and my dad to do to get closer to each other, maybe their sons don't like fishing or baseball. It's true every father should do some things for his son like tell him he loves him, feed him, etc., but there is no one right way to achieve these goals. The same should be applied to the church. What works for the individual may not work for the whole. Maybe some Adventists get a blessing from Stryper or from water- skiing on Sabbath; and then again, maybe some Adventists come closer to God by eating tofu and not using any electricity on Sabbath. Every individual's relationship with Jesus Christ, although governed by the same prin- ciples, is unique. I encourage us all not to play judge when we look at others and to think twice before we act in Biblical retribution. We may not agree with and approve ofeverybody's lifestyle, but fight- ing them about it does more bad than good. Even if you feel like "force-feeding" them the good news of the Gospel it is best to offer them a living example and not a verbal reprobation. Just remember this: God can work miracles in people's lives; you can't. That is why He just tells us to "love our neighbor as ourselves" for "love covers a multitude of sins." Although God can bless each of us indi- vidually in millions of ways, don't think that the ways He blesses you are the same for everybody. Don't shove good food down others' throats. April 30,1992 Editor Mark A. Pfeiffer Asst. Editor T.I. Mahlum Copy Editor Becky Lane Photo Editor Jeff Scoggins Ad Manager Tammie Mentzel Staff Writers Gabrielle Bailey Jim Mules Shannon Nelson Byard Parks Rikki Stenbakken Kelly Strom Manish R. Pandey Sponsor Greg Rumsey Printer Sun Newspaper/ Nebraska Printing Center Cartoons h,great-, there he goes again. Word of the Week HUMOR Learn it! Love it! Live it! April 30,1992 Dream Forever Homeshow!!! ByManishRajPandey In every drop of the monsoon rain, In every flake of winter snow, In every gust of the eastern wind, In every ray of the morning sunlight, In every tide of an ocean, I see your image. In every song of the birds, I hear your lilting voice. In every flower in the Garden of Eden, I recognize your bright smile. You seem to be omnipresent. Maybe you are everywhere. Maybe it is just an illusion. "Plaster Mask" continued from page 1. he was driven back to Union College—by the dentist's daughter. "I was greeted on campus by Mike Needles and Chip Hart," says Lunde. "Their first words were, 'How's it going, plaster face?'" That was only the beginning of the creative nicknames he has heard since. A favorite comment seems to be, "Hey, Eric, we heard you had a heavy weight taken off your mind the other day." The plaster mask attached to Lunde's forehead for four hours was found to weigh 10 pounds, 4 1/2 ounces. He says that his forehead and even his hair are basically back to normal now, although ittook three washings with Dawn detergent to get his hair clean. Surprisingly enough, Lunde insists that he "Student Center" continued from page 1. There are two phases to the convention. The first will be the work project June 8 to 18. During this time, they will be working around campus doing re-roofing, construction on the student center, and painting in Jorgenson and Engel halls. They will come and work in exchange for free room and board. The second phase will be more of a retreat for the workers June 18 to 20. It will serve both as a reunion for workers recently re- turned from Santo Domingo, and a workshop where they can learn better ways to do things efficiently. Charlie Henkelmann has been the moti- vating force behind the work in the student Or perhaps you have formed a veil around me, A veil that is beautiful and protective, A veil I absolutely adore. It makes me forget all the miseries. It alienates me from this bitter world and takes me to a wonderland, Where everything around me is merry. It is like a dream. If it is, I never desire to wake up again. I pray to God to make the longest night He has ever made, so I can sleep forever. is not about to destroy the mask that held him captive. "After all this work, of course I'm going to use it," he says. He plans to use the mold to create a positive image he can save for all eternity. Signed replicas will soon be available in the Union College Bookstore. Art professor Jim McClelland claims that this is the first such incident in his lifetime of teaching. Foul play is not suspected, although a thorough investigation will be conducted. Lunde says, "Now that it's over, I think it was foolish. The entire experience was crazy. But at the time, it was quite serious to me. I didn't plan to spend my entire life with a chunk of plaster attached to me." center. For the past month, he has been working free of charge getting the area ready for the Maranatha workers to come. He would like to get it to the point where they can maximize on the man-power Maranatha 'Will provide. The group is so optimistic about getting things done that they have tentatively planned to have the convention banquet in the finished auditorium on Thurs- day evening, June 18. So if all goes as planned, by the time the next issue of the Clocktower is published, the student center and the deli will be fin- ished. We can always hope. ByKellyStwm Saturday, April 18, was the moment to shine for 27 Union College athletes. The stage was set at the college gym, where an enthusiastic crowd and a group of nervous gymnasts gathered for the yearly Home Show. At 9 p.m. sharp, the lights dimmed, and the first notes of the entrance routine burst forth as spotlights simultaneously hit the gymnasts. The hard work, sweat, determina- tion, and prayers of the team now manifested themselves in the form of grace, strength, and coordination. This year's Home Show demonstrated a wide range of skill levels and talents. High- lights of the show included an individual routine featuring Brean Martinez and a men's four routine featuring Denison Sager, Bryan Fly, Matt Rodgers, and Doug Nesmith. Brean showed off her grace and flexibility, while the men's four displayed their advanced strength and tumbling abilities. Other per- formances of note were those of the chair and block routines. These guys should be con- gratulated on an incredible handstand! How- ever, I would have to say that five-year-old Brittany Spaulding both stole the show and won the hearts of the audience. Her poise, grace, and mastery of difficult skills were displayed in a women's pair routine which brought the house down. This particular team has presented a spe- cial challenge for head coach Frank Martinez and assistant coach Cindy Spaulding. This year's team of 27 can claim only 12 of those members as veterans, while the other 15 were either new to the team or were incoming freshmen. "We got off to a good start though," says Spaulding, "because the skill level of each individual member was relatively high to begin with." Overall, Cindy was very pleased with the team and the progress they made in the last year. The advanced skill level and determina- tion on the part of the team allowed for numerous tours this past year. A few of the weekend trips were to places such as Colo- rado, North Dakota, Michigan, and Kansas. The highlight of the year was a 10-day trip to Mexico, where the team performed al- most everyday. Although this year's team was very suc- cessful, Cindy and Frank have even bigger plans for next season. They intend to tighten up the requirements for team tryouts in the hopes of increasing the overall skill level. If you plan to try out next year, you better start working on that handstand. Rumor has it that a 20-second handstand will be required for both men and women of next year's team. Over the past three years, Union College gymnastics has risen in popularity on cam- pus, as well as outside of the school. The college gymnastics team has made a real contribution to recruiting efforts over the past years. UC freshman Matt Rodgers says his decision to attend Union was made solely because of the gymnastics program Union College offers. "I had pretty much decided to attend Walla-Walla," says Matt, "but they didn't have a gymnastics program at all out there. After talking with Ric [Spaulding] about what Union had to offer, I made my decision to come here." Now Matt is en- couraging other academy students to come to Union. Undoubtedly, the hard work and commit- ment of the team has paid off. This is dis- played both in its increase in skill level and also, in the not-so-obvious but very real benefits to recruitment. Let's congratulate the team and the coaches for making gym- nastics a strong incentive for attendance at Union College 4 April 30,1992 Here and There COLLEGE VIEW 4130 S. 48th brazier. OPEN ALL YEAR! COLLEGE VIEW DAIRY QUEEN. Eat in or carry-out 4130 South 48th Street 488-1SS9 760 West "O* Street 475-3406 Events: May 1: Dead Day Last day to withdraw with a V May 2: CVC Bob Bretsch ASB Yearlook May 4-7: Finals May 8 -10: Graduation . May 22: Rostropovich with Omaha Symphony Orchestra - Lied The Year in Sports April 30, 1992 5 See Ya! Ever feel it's impossible to keep your education on track? Griggs University, Home Study International's'Higher Education Division, specializes in maneuvering tight corners for college students. You chose Union College because you wanted a Christian education, individualized attention, small classes, and committed, caring teachers. Don't compromise your standards by turning to a public college to find that extra course you need or to solve your scheduling conflicts. Griggs University can help you maintain your high quality Christian education even for those courses you can't pick up on campus. Don't get thrown off track! See your registrar today or call 1 -(8001-394-GROW. -YOUR PARTNER IN EDUCATION- A Survey of World Religions Acts and the Epistles Adventist Heritage Algebra American Literature Bible Survey Book of Revelation Composition Cultural Geography Early Christian Church English Literature Evaluation in Teaching French Fundamentals of Curriculum Development General Sociology Government in the United States Health Education Health Principles History of World Civilization Introduction to Psychology Jesus and the Gospels Mathematics in the Elementary School Modern Christian Church Music Appreciation Nutrition Old Testament Prophets Philosophy of Adventist Education Principles of Accounting Principles of Christian Faith Prophecies of Daniel Prophetic Guidance Psychology of Learning Science and Christian Belief Scientific Study of Creation Spanish Teaching Reading Teaching Social Studies Typing United States History 15% discount on college tuition! Only $97.75 per credit hour for first-time enrollment in Griggs University, the collegiate division of Home Study International. Attach this card to your application. Don't delay—SAVE!! Call 1-800-394-GROW (4769). (This offer good until July 30, 1992.) GRIGGS UNIVERSITY P.O. Box 4437 Silver Spring, MD 20914-4437 Also The Meaning of Life? WeTl Tell You! BySockriteaseandPlqydough Union College, lift up your heads from your lifeless existence as we grace you with our words of timeless wisdom. Sockritease and Playdough have once again taken up the task of answering your far from insightful questionings. No need in wasting more space complaining; we will just print the wretched things, and you will then be shown by comparison how beef-headed your in- quiries really are. Dear Clocktower (Sockritease and Playdough), Is it me, or am I the only person who writes you? —Lost Dear L, - As you may already know, the Clocktower is always swamped with letters. You have just been lucky enough for us to ridicule you twice in this feature. This letter was written much better than the last ones we've re- ceived from you, but far from significant once again. It's obvious that you have ignored our advice, so we will repeat it: Don't write us anymore. Dear Clocktower, I am the president and co-founder of People for the Ethical Treatment of Spagetti- O's (PETS) here on campus. In the last article written by Sockritease and Playdough, I was offended by the reference to "smashing faces with Spagetti-O's." HEY! SPAGETTI- O's have feelings too! If you don't want to risk being boycotted by devoted PETS mem- bers I would suggest not slandering our beloved O's. Our modem society was built on Spagetti-O's and now has a nationwide membership of 50 people, 25 of which are here on campus. Sockritease and Playdough should not be allowed to write in this highly regarded paper. --(Name and address withheld by re- quest) Dear Chef Boyardee, As you can very will see,, we are still writing this article, and you are an annoying excuse for a decent activist. Your little cult of "Freak-O's" has bored us already. Be- cause your letter was so pathetic, you are receiving the Playdough and Sockritease "Pinhead, don't waste your time on this cause" award. Now excuse us while we go outside and pummel a can of our favorite pre- made pasta. Dear Sockritease and Playdough, The other day I decided to watch that network of networks, Fox, and I was struck by a "Penetrating Question." How many times a day is "Who's the Boss" on anyway? --Bud Dear Mr. Bundy, _ This is one of the many wonders of life. Who really understood the significance of the Carrier Pigeon? Who can really under- stand the miracle of life? Who is Tony Danza? Well, true believers, Tony Danza is the eighth wonder of the world. And thanks to the phenomenon known as syndication, we will be able to bask in Tony's supernatu- ral housekeeping abilities three times a day! Thank you, Fox, for making our lives a little brighter! Dear Sockritease and Playdough, What exactly is NCATE and what do they do? —A Confused College President Dear J.K., I know that these little organizations and acronyms may seem confusing at first, but once explained, the answer will seem quite obvious. NCATE stands for National Coun- cil for the Accreditation of Teacher Educa- tion. As of now, no one is really sure what service they supply. They appear to us as a fungus, materializing at the most unwanted times, and staying far too long. Just ignore them, and after they've eaten in the deli, they will leave. Now that we have come to the end of another literature landmark, there's some- thing that must be discussed. An event so foul and disturbing that we couldn't con- clude this article without making reference to it. A couple of weeks ago, my colleague and I, incognito, slipped into the landfill that you call a gymnasium. There was no amount of preparation that would've saved us from the sight that brutally assuaulted our senses. It's hard to believe a college of our standards would condone such a sick, paganistic dis- play of human disgrace. To save the poor idiots involved in this pitiful performance more grief than they already should've recieved, we will leave this catastrophe un- named. We leave you with this thought, in hopes that you will someday learn from your mistakes and ovecome your sub-human de- sires of being less than you can be. with Stuff It! KIMCO Self Storage * Special Student Discounts* Stuff It! 2601 N. 27th 466-744 6000 S. 56th 423-3003 April 30, 1992 Personals Jenny— Yo Everybody I! 36,3 4,l,22'32 36,1,5,32 Thanx for all the warnings abou 9,22,32,5,18 11,7,9 4,7,20,3 12,7,20,3 Miklshake Lollies. After I've already pullet 2,1,2,3! my crown with one!! Ah well, it's th< - - thought that counts. I miss yo heaps! Yo\ Toddles know who loves ya babies! Your mate under, "Phantom", Kurly "Think of me" . 1 From too far away, Daniel, "Christy" He ya Babel Upon your advice I'm no longer herding sheep — I've taken u| Pete E. kiwi hunting. Ha! Don't break too man} Yes I remember you from hearts! Oh, Hey! Will you be my manage Grandmother's. I hope you are having an when I make big?! Ha-ha! excellent semester!! Love ya babe! - Jen. Jennifer K. Due to lack of response (four) to The Clocktower's opinion poll in the April 2nd issue, no clear student opinion could be accurately compiled. Graduation 1992 8 April 30, 1992