A cool draft circulated throughout the 
banquet hall last Sunday. Many who were 
dressed in something less (considerably less) 
than their long johns and turtlenecks asked for 
their date's dinner jacket. The dinner jacket 
became unisex. 
Sunday, Feb. 2, 1997, the ASB of 
Union College presented their annual 
Valentine's banquet. Held at the posh 
Cornhusker Hotel, the banquet drew a crowd of 
over 450 Union College students and friends. 
"Why a banquet?" a dateless skeptic 
asked before the banquet. "It smells like left-
over portions of Academy. I'd think by now we 
should outgrow such an occasion." 
However, afterward, the former date-
less skeptic commented "I really liked it a lot. 
I had a great time." He continued to say, "You 
don't go to banquets for the food, just for the 
company. I had good company." 
Good company was on a lot of 
people's minds. Laughter at the banquet table 
proved to be the most memorable. 
See Banquet on page 2 
Bouquets &? 
Boutoniers 
Banquet Buddies 
by Tammy Littrell 
Daphne Erhart and Joel Brauer grin for photographer Tammy Littrell at the ASB Valentine's Day banquet at 
the Cornhusker Hotel in Lincoln. Check out several other happy dates in our Valentine banquet gallery on 
page 10. 
.. 
Bruce Chan 
Reporter 
"I am worried about my old 
fans reactions, but most of 
them are dead." 
Clean-cut crooner Pat Boone 
on his new album of heavy 
metal standards, "Pat Boone in 
a Metal Mood: No More Mr. 
Nice Guy." 
Newsweek Feb. 10, 1997 
The numbers of love 
An analysis of Union's social scene 
Brian Ruckle 
Editor 
"Nobody ever dates here at Union," is a 
comment I heard several times from vari-
)us people this year. 
In the spirit of the upcoming fourteenth of 
February, the Clocktower surveyed 91 
students to see if there was any truth in the 
:laims made about Union's dating scene. 
\lso, we examined many of the attitudes 
md perceptions on the topics of dating, love 
uid marriage. 
Maybe Union students aren't as frisky as 
he squirrels who share their campus, but 
>eople do date and fall in love. Although 
ve don't have any stats from Southern or 
Valla Walla with which to compare ours, 
he numbers suggest that the majority of 
>eople have gone out on a date this year 
ind that those who do date, go out often. 
There are approximately 99 unattached 
nen and 130 unattached women that live in 
he dormitories and more live off campus. 
)f those surveyed, 69% of single men and 
61% of single women had gone on a formal 
date this year. 
Of the single dating population that dates, 
most go out regularly. More people went 
on a date within a week of the poll, 43% of 
men and 52% of women, than those who 
date less often: within a month, 22% of men 
and 14% of women; within two months, 
17% of men and 20% of women; within 
three months, 9% of men and 10% of 
women. However, most people don't go on 
dates during the average week: 41% of 
men and 46% of women. Those that go out 
once or twice a week number 37% of men 
and 44% of women. 
Many students come to Union to find a 
husband or wife who shares similar reli-
gious convictions. Unfortunately, many 
don't perceive Union's dating scene as 
highly nurturing for marriage, especially 
women. In answering the question, "Is 
Union's dating scene preparing people for 
marriage?", only 40% of women and 50% 
of men answered "yes." 
Union's dating patterns are affected by 
the students' Adventist background. The 
majority of students who answered the poll 
believe that some aspects of Adventist 
culture tend to limit dating in Adventist 
circles. Adventist^ tend to hold a higher 
standard of commitment and responsibility 
in relationships, especially marriage. About 
67% of men and women said the emphasis 
on commitment limited dating experiences. 
This tendency, according to the majority 
of respondants, is not ideal for preparation 
for marriage. Sixty percent of men and 
56% of women said dating a "variety" of 
people prepared people better for marriage 
as opposed to 40% of men and 44% of 
women who said "sparingly and selec-
tively." 
According to the poll, Adventist boarding 
academies aren't necessarily better in 
See Dating on page 2 
Quote dn jour 
1 By all means marry,* If 
you get a good wife, 
you'll be happy, if you 
get a bad one, you'll 
become a philosopher. 
-Socrates 
NEWS 
Dating 
Continued from page 1 
preparing people how to date. Twenty-nine 
percent of respondents said that people who 
come out of the structured social environments 
of Adventist boarding schools know how to date 
as well or better than people, who graduated 
from a day school, versus 61% who said they 
don't know how to date as well. 
A clear majority of people said people need 
more friendship in their relationships with their 
Significant Other as compared to more romance. 
Eighteen percent of men believed people needed 
more romance, versus 16% of women. A whop-
ping 96% of people believed that people could 
have strong friendships and be romantic at the 
same time, the two concepts are compatible. 
Men and women were split on who carries the 
responsibility for initiating a date. Traditionally, 
men play the active role in proposing the date 
and women either accept or decline. In our poll, 
80% of men believed it wasn't just the man's 
duty to initiate a date and that women should -
take a more active role. 31% of women believed 
the same. The Clocktower then attempted to 
find out why more women were not asking men 
out. Unfortunately, we worded the question in a 
way which may have encouraged a defensive 
answer. The question was stated, "Do you think 
men, in general, would be threatened if a woman 
asked them out?" Thirty-six percent of women 
thought that men would, and only 9% of men 
believed men would be threatened." The concept 
of chivalry originated in medieval times and 
embodied the ideal qualifications of a knight, 
such as courage, courtesy, and loyalty. Modern 
chivalry consists ofacts such as holding doors 
for women, men opening car doors for their 
dates, and seating them at restaurants. 
According to our poll, chivalry still exists: 50% 
of men and 45% of women said Union men are 
chivalrous half of the time, and 30% of men and 
women said they are chivalrous most of the time. 
Some modern feminists believe such acts to be 
condescending, and take offense if a man holds a 
door open for them. Union women overwhelm-
ingly tijinkvotiierwise: 93%^ women believe 
women believe that chivalry encourages male 
dominance/control and female 
submission/dependence in relationships. 
Other dating stats: 
26% of women said the dates they went on 
were creative, 56% said they were traditional, 
and 9% said they were cliched' and trite. 
67% of men said their dates were fun and 
responsive, 22% said their dates were lukewarm, 
and 7% said their dates were cold and aloof. 
37% of men believe in love at first sight, 22% 
of women do. 
65% of men and 60% of women believe love 
is a conscious choice. 
73% of women believe in destiny, that there is 
one perfect person out there waiting for you. 
57% of men believed in destiny. 
A clear majority of students agree with the 
traditional position on the church that living with 
a boyfriend or girlfriend and having sex with 
him/her would be harmful to a later marriage. 
Men are more likely to believe that living with a 
girlfriend would strengthen a later marriage: 
11% versus 4% of women. They are also more 
likely to support the idea that sex before 
marriage is all right: 7% versus 4%. 
58% of on-campus men are single, 29% are 
going steady, 8% are engaged and 1% unknown. 
Those who have a steady 79% of men who have 
a steady, date a Union student. 77% of engaged 
individuals have their partner here at Union. 
62% of women are single, 30% are steady, 6% 
are engaged, and .5% married. 1% unknown. 
72% of women are dating Union students, 61% 
of engaged women are engaged on campus. 
Banquet 
Continued from page 1 
"The one thing I really liked was my date," said Danita Bland. 
"The pedple around my table were absolutely fun to hang with. They were 
all so funny." 
For most, the banquet started before 6:00 p.m. Orders for 
SuperSaver flowers started to come in on Thursday. Many arranged limou-
sine service to the grand occasion. Dresses were bought, tuxedos rented. 
The desk monitors who worked Sunday afternoon experienced the brunt of 
the excitement. 
"Girls were taking pictures. Everyone was taking pictures and so 
many guys called. It was chaos." said Kari Schebo. "Everyone was so prim 
and proper, or at least trying to." 
The Cornhusker provided dinner with a salad, roll, cheese tortellini, 
and a chocolate-coconut desert. Mixed comments were made about the 
food. Many liked the salad, but the pasta turned out to be dry and pasty. 
After the meal, the female vocal group Images sang an inspirational 
program for entertainment. 
"I first saw Images sing in Allan Chapel last year, and I had to 
invite them to sing for us," said Eddie Mejia, ASB social vice-president. 
The entertainment provided a spiritual atmosphere that was appreciated by 
many. Others wished for secular entertainment. The secular not offered 
was made up by the spirit. Images invited the audience to stand and clap on 
several songs. Constricting gowns and stiff tuxedos hampered the crowd 
from breaking into an all out mosh session however. 
The elegant decor of the Cornhusker created a magical atmosphere. 
Crystal chandeliers, a grand sweeping staircase and vivid paintings encour-
aged everyone to their best behavior. Couples walked arm in arm through 
the lobby, dressed in their finest, showing off to the world. 
"I really liked the atmosphere. The hotel is so beautiful. That's 
what made the occasion," said Heather Hornbacher. 
Coordinating the banquet involved many hours of planning and 
hard work. Mejia noted that the staff at the Cornhusker provided excellent 
service and worked well with him during the planning stages. "They didn't 
charge us for many things like the PA system and use of the stage which 
kept our prices lower." 
The hard'work paid off and the banquet proved to be an enjoyable 
event. 
"I'd just like to thank everyone for coming out," said Mejia. "It's 
kind of cool to take the whole college out to eat" 
Cover Boys 
Two Union College students were featured recently on 
covers of Insight magazine. In the January 25th edition, 
the cover featured a full-color spread on freshman art 
major Jeff Birth. The story inside highlighted Jeff's 
talents through high school and his success at the annual 
Brandstater Gallery National Youth Art Exhibition at La 
Sierra University. For the past three years, Jeff has won 
merit awards at the exhibition. Jeff is continuing his 
tradition of excellence studying art here at Union under 
the direction of Mr. Mac. 
In the February 8th issue, Insight features Union's own 
Jesse Dovich as the first prize winner of its annual writ-
ing contest. In their comments, the judges praised 
Jesse's story for its sensory specifics and an "interest-
ing" plot. First prize comes with a cool $250.00 purse. 
Says Dovich, "I'm really stoked about that $250!" Way 
to go guys! 
Scheduling Dilemma 
Union administration found itself in a Catch-22 situa-
tion last spring. The University of Nebraska was late in 
producing their calendar last March. By the time UNL 
came out with this year's schedule, the Mid-America 
Union academies had already planned 1996-97. 
The 
University and academies had conflicting spring breaks 
and the Administration had to decide between the two. 
"In order to maintain the support and good relations with 
the academies, we moved to match the academies' sched-
ule," said Academic Vice-President Larry Ray. 
The decision will allow families with students at both Union 
and at the academies to re-unite during breaks. Unfortunately, 
students taking classes at the University will not have a spring 
break this semester. "The academies agreed in the future to set 
their schedule with ours so we don't have this problem again," 
said Ray. 
Accreditation Review 
The Accreditation Review Committee on Education for the 
Physician Assistant came for a site visit January 29-30. The 
committee applauded the recent staff recruitment, the firm 
financial support of the program, the unusual time and 
commitment that President Kerbs has put into getting a PA 
program at Union, and how well the program fits into the 
B 
service oriented mission of Union College. The committee w 
concerned that Union's PA brochure didn't say that t 
program wasn't accredited yet. They were also concern 
about the liberal arts requirements during the last two years 
the program. According to Academic Vice-President Lai 
Ray, they would like the last two years to focus strictly on ] 
classes. Lastly, they would like for 3-4 courses to be m( 
specific about the assessment procedures. 
Ray said, "It loc 
like these things are correctable in the time frame that ° 
have." 
mssmssm 
NEWS 
TLC Gets High 
Tech Toys 
Brian Ruckle 
Editor 
The Teaching Learning Center just got a high tech boost which 
will allow it to further serve the needs of students with dyslexia 
and other learning disabilities. 
The TLC received $9,200 grant from the Nebraska Assistive 
Technology Project to provide the center with computer hardware and soft-
ware. The grant has established Union College is a demonstrative site of 
Assistive Technology for the state of Nebraska. 
With the money from the grant, the TLC bought two personal 
computers, tape players that play tapes for the blind and dyslexic, 
personal voice organizers, a voice powered handheld dictionary, 
and a scientific and financial talking calculator. They also have 
:omputer software which scans in a page and then reads it aloud, 
software which allows the user to control the computer by voice, a 
powerful grammar check program, and software which allows the 
visual person to organize their thoughts in outline and cluster 
form. 
Since the first workshop took place in October, the TLC has 
lad a lot of people come and check out the new equipment. "We've 
probably had 150 people come in and use the equipment," said 
Kristine Elliston, a marketing intern for the TLC and a senior at 
(Jnion College. 
"Some have come as far as Grand Island and Omaha. Most of the 
special education teachers from the Lincoln public school system 
nave been to see the TLC," she said. 
It is mandatory for institutions to provide services for 
people with learning disabilities, such as allowing students with 
earning disabilities extra time to complete tests. Union is the 
)nly SDA school with a with services including a full time staff of 
earning specialists to meet with students. 
The TLC is not just for Union College and college students, 
[t provide a public service for anyone with learning disabilities. 
Students who suspect they have a learning disability are encouraged 
o go to the TLC for an hour long informal assessment. 
Michelle Alvarez 
Spiritual Gifts What 
do you enjoy doing? 
Eric Hansen 
Reporter 
Celibacy, a Spiritual Gift? By the way, what exactly is a spiritual 
gift? A good working definition can can be (and most likely not the only 
one) anything that Ido that I can use to reveal God to others. Please do not 
confuse spiritual gifts with talents. Talents can be used for anything. Satan 
has talents. Looking down the list of spiritual gifts I see none that are not in 
some way revealing God. 
BUT, this does not mean that you can only use spiritual gifts inside 
the Church! What a novel concept. Take the gift of Encouragement for exam-
ple. Can you encourage someone who is not a Seventh-day Adventist? I 
would bet that you can. Each gift can be used inside or outside the church 
walls. -
February 17-21 this campus will begin a spiritual gift discovery 
process. Each night at 7:30 and during chapel times on Tuesday and Thursday 
we are offering you an opportunity to find out what you spiritual gift/s are. 
Come and get munchies afterwards each evening and join your friends in a 
discovery process that can last your whole life. 
'iti'J .riiDdj toi I'sqo i<>«>b 
NEWS & VIEWS 
editorial staff 
Editor-ln-Chlcf 
Brian Ruckle 
Assistant Editor/Copy Editor 
Rebecca Cizmar 
News Editor 
Malachi McNeilus 
Living 
Clocktower Staff 
, 
Sports Editor 
Brian Carlson 
Sports Staff 
Brad Sehmaim 
Vanessa Bolejack 
Religion Editor 
Joe Rector 
Arts and Entertainment Editor 
Tanya Spttovoy 
Photo Editor 
Heather Hornbocher 
Design/Layout 
Johanna Mcday 
Ad Manager 
Kristine Elusion 
epori 
Allison Lamon 
Bruce Chan 
Lora Hagen 
WD. Fitts 
Eric Hansen 
Staff Artist 
Eddie Mejia 
Faculty Advisor 
Greg Rumsey 
Printer 
Oalccreek Printing 
Clocktower is the biweekly publication 
of Union Colleges Associated Student 
Body. The views expressed here do not 
necessarily reflect the view of the Seventh-
day Adventist Church, Union College, 
ASB, or the editorial staff. The editors 
reserve the right to determine the content 
of the Clocktower. 
Our office is located in the Love Building 
on the Union College campus. Our address 
is 3800 South 48th Street, Lincoln, NE 
68506. We can be reached by phone at 
(402) 
486-2091 
or 
by 
e-mail 
at 
(cltower@ucollege.edu). 
School vouchers are bad poliqy 
Editorial 
Brian Ruckle 
An era of my life will come to a close in May. I'll be saying 
good-bye to Union to find my way out "there." By leaving Union, I 
will also be leaving Adventist schools, which I have been attending 
since August 1979. 
My parents made a lot of sacrifices to give me an Adventist 
education. Over the course of 17 years in the system, my parents spent 
well over $50,000. If I should decide to provide my children with an 
Adventist education, my burden would be even greater than my 
parents'. Tuition is increasingly more expensive and my father is a 
doctor and I'm majoring in journalism. 
Forty years ago, Nobel Prize laureate Milton Friedman 
suggested an idea which became the voucher plan. In the typical 
voucher system, students would be issued scholarships or vouchers that 
they could use to enroll in the private or public school of their choice. 
According to proponents, the voucher system would provide parents 
and students with greater choice, improve schools through competition, 
and increase parental involvement in the education of their children. 
Voucher advocates also want to include private religious insti-
tutions in the program, which comprise about 85% of nonpublic 
schools. Had such a system been adopted by the state of Tennessee 
back in 1979, my parents would have saved a lot of money. Also, if I 
ever plan to send my children to SDA schools, I could invest more for 
my retirement and take an occasional trip to the Caribbean. 
Despite the benefits, I can't support a voucher program. 
Vouchers would drain necessary funds from the public school system, 
and private schools would attract the best students and the most moti-
vated parents, leaving public schools with the children who are hardest 
to educate. Within a weakened public school system, equal opportu-
nity in education would be diminished. By law, public schools must 
accept all who apply. Private schools, on the other hand, have the right 
to deny a student's admission and may expel them for almost any 
reason. 
My Adventist background gives me a more compelling reason 
to reject the voucher plan. The transfer of government funds to private 
religious institutions would involve the direct subsidy of religious 
education. This, in my opinion, would breach Jefferson's metaphorical 
wall of separation between church and state. 
The first amendment states that "Congress shall make no law 
respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise 
thereof." It doesn't use the words "separation of church and the state," 
but this has been the accepted interpretation for several years based on 
a letter written by Thomas Jefferson to the Danbury Baptist 
Association. 
This interpretation makes good sense. It is good for society 
for sociefy because religion cannot control public education. It is also 
good for Adventist education. Keeping church schools independent 
may mean fewer students in Adventist schools. Yet keeping these 
schools independent limits government intervention. These schools 
can hire the Christian teachers, set their own policies, observe religious 
holidays, and teach creation, the cross, and Christ without apology. 
Love 
Match 
When it comes to lovers in literature, you undoubtedly 
know that Romeo goes with Juliet. 
How many other 
famous fictional duos can you match correctly? 
09 'IS 'Bp 'q£ 'PZ 'aI 
ISJBMSUV 
Love 
Story 
Shortly after her wedding, England's Queen 
Victoria wrote to her uncle, King Leopold of 
Belgium, of her great love for her husband, Albert: 
"I write to you from here, the happiest, happiest 
Being that ever existed. Really, I do not think it 
possible for any one in the world to be happier, or 
as happy as I am. He is an Angel, and his kindnes; 
and affection for me is really touching. To look in 
those dear eyes, and that dear sunny face, is enoug 
to make me adore him. What I can do to make hin 
happy will be my greatest delight." 
Taken from Page-a-Day Notes, 1995 
Dear Cognizant 
Omniscience Boy, 
Dear COB, 
Hi, I didn't know if I could still turn this in the ASB suggestion box in the Chat, but I'm 
trying right now anyway. Here's my concern. There are these two girls who like me and 
I like them both. I don t want to go on two timing because I'm afraid I will lose them 
both. I know enough about them that I would be interested in pursuing a relationship 
with either one, but how do I narrow it down? What if I choose the wrong one? Help 
me! 
—addicted to sweet tarts 
Dear Indecisive Sweet Tart Lover, 
My poor friend. You like both of these girls so much, so take a step back and think 
about how they're feeling in this situation. Now, assume that both 01 these girls know 
about each other. Yes, they do know about each other. What else is there to do in the 
dorm except talk? Now, say you flip a coin and choose heads. Tail-girl will feel like you 
led her on and then forgot about her. Heads-girl, the chosen one, will probably be happy, 
but in the back of her mind, she'll wonder if you wished you were with Tails-girl. Ana in 
reality, won't you wonder the same thing? If it really is a toss-up, can you say you're 
completely committed to only one of these girls. So relax, take a deep breath, and 
boycott Valentine's Day until you get to know these girls better and you know from your 
gut feeling, rather than Cupid s arrow in the sky, which one you really want to be with. 
--COB 
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OPINION 
s 
a v e 
Bret Schlisner 
Columnist 
| 
Valentine's time is here, 
| and whoa, look at all these 
new couples springing up all 
| around like young tulip buds. 
It's making me think of how I 
spent my spring last year. 
My most memorable expe-
rience revolved around some-
i thing even more annoying 
I than people sucking their 
faces off in the dorm lobby or 
[ the parking lot. Bugs. 
Four Argentines invited me 
on a canoeing trip on the 
J Parana river, which runs 
I through 2,000 miles of 
Argentina. The first thing 
they mentioned was to bring 
bug repellent, chuckle 
chuckle. 
So I loaded my Off, Raid and Mace and jumped in their 
jalopy. I had never really tested my bug phobia. Six-
legged things wigs out my whole body in heebie-jeebies 
and Aaahhhhghakhaggjheeuoggghhh! I thought maybe on 
this trip I could overcome my fear and hate of being 
violated by parasitic specks of wings and cold blood. 
Upon arrival at the' river, we set up camp and 1 let loose 
the Fogger in my tent. As we sang Argentinean folk 
songs, I sat with my can of Raid, spraying anything that 
moved. I was ready for those suckers. 
By the time our campfire was simmering, I had inhaled 
so much insecticide that I felt like a can of airplane glue. 
Raid mixed with my sweat and beaded over my pores. I 
stared at the moon as it jumped over the other side of the 
river bank. 
The strange southern constellations glimmered at my 
pupils while the rays of firelight glanced off the 47 
mosquito bites on Gerardo's left calf. He didn't even 
notice the swarms of carnivorous South American insects 
grazing on his body. Neither could he sing the song, Rico 
Suave. 
your 
The next morning we arose to the chirps of kiskadees 
and kingfishers. We slithered our leaky canoe-like strips 
of fiberglass downstream. 
As the patchy clouds danced around the noony sun, a 
Paraguayan barge cruised past—serving us waves to 
capsize by. We surfed the wakes like Hawaiian outrigger 
canoers. 
Ja^k 
Pieces of the river were wiggling up into the hot sky. 
The November summer sun blazed from above. The 
mirages squinted our eyes down river. Our arms were 
flabby after 
paddling for 8 
hours. 
Finally we saw 
it. Past those heat 
waves lay a little 
desert. An oasis 
from the never-
ending, tiring 
, 
water. We dug in 
our paddles and raced toward the sandbar as if it were an 
Argentine woman. 
It was real. Our private beach-island. No trees. No 
plants. Just sand, birds, their eggs, and fish in the shallows 
that looked like armadillos with fins. Close your eyes now. 
The guys instantly celebrated by breaking out in a 
game of soccer. But without a soccer ball, we substituted 
a tractor-trailer innertube. What fun we made, kicking 
around a black, rubber donut in which you could have 
comfortably fit the entire Rumsey family, the Rees Hall 
deans and RA's. 
For the next 47 hours, we played soccer amidst the 
bug-repelling river zephyrs. Well, we ate and swam and 
slept a little, but we passed most of the time trying differ-
ent soccer balls; the life jacket proved more useful than 
the t-shirt tied together full of potatoes. As the potato-
lumps flailed through the air, I considered how I could 
learn so much about life if I could boot something really 
cool through the goal, like a bottle of Brut aftershave, or a 
slab of swiss steak, or a toupee. 
I wondered and wondered. My mind had blown 
head 
away with the wind. The air began to stagnate. 
Then I felt the chomp. I looked up. It was like the sun 
was pulling the screen away from the bug cage for the 
night. 
Everyone snagged his stuff and sprinted for the 
canoes. Probation was closing on our skin in swarms. We 
hucked ourselves into the current. We bored whirlpools in 
the water with our paddles, fleeing from those things like 
Sigoumey Weaver from aliens. 
I wish I could share the sheer joy of rowing upstream 
in a ripping current at bugset. Shooing mosquitoes. 
Squashing spiders. Trying to spot the vampire no-see-ums. 
Oh, and Niagara gushing a spout by my feet. Row, bail, 
swat. My companions groaning. The water sloshing in 
my eyes. Row, bail, swat. 
The noodles drooping from my shoulders dropped 
my paddle. My arms were melting and transforming into 
reservoirs of lactic acid dripping down the paddle shaft and 
_ rushing downstream. The nasty beetles settled down to 
chew die cud on my soggy biceps. I had to surrender. 
Finally our car appeared on the shore ahead. We 
launched out of our boats, smashed everything together 
and dragged it behind the car like we'd just gotten married. 
The moaning and gnashing of teeth had finally ended, 
but no one slept that night. Not because we behaved like 
newlyweds. It's that each of us was bloated into a big 
bug-bite mound. 
Having survived Bug Hell, my worst nightmare, 1 
feel a little more comfortable facing everyday fears of the 
United States. 
But all this talking about bugs and hot weather makes 
me regret that Punxatawny Phil didn't see his shadow last 
week. I don't want that early summer with its bugs and 
slobbering puppy-lovers. 
What I do want is the power not to scratch my bite-
welts and the resilience to not vomit in Rees Hall lobby. 
Let us now come together and revive the lost sexual 
art of holding hands. 
This story was written by Pancho Schlisner in 1995, exiled for a 
year, and then edited in February 1997. 
£ i a 
s 
My 
C u p i d. 
Allison Lamon 
Columnist 
Soon our 
campus will 
endure unbeliev-
able anguish, 
pain, emotional 
scarring, and 
poverty-
Valentine's Day. 
I'm not one of 
Cupid's happy 
. helpers, 
Valentine's Day 
. throws too many 
demands on love, 
society, and 
economics. 
The lamenta-
tions have already 
begun: 
"What should I get her?" How should 1 
ow? 
"What do you think he's going to get for 
e?" Nothing, he's broke. 
"Do you think he likes me?" Do I look 
:e a magic 
eight-ball? 
Valentine's Day has been twisted into a 
akeup day for relationship slackers. The rest 
the year they can play love games and be 
afunctional, but on Valentine's Day lovers don 
e elaborate facade of appreciation. Roses, 
ocolates, plush animals, and mushy cards 
rve one purpose—keeping up appearances. 
Not only does this holiday honor 
uples, it breeds them. No one enjoys single-
«d when shallow romance blooms in every 
rner of the campus, especially the Rees Hall 
bby (affectionately known as the Petting Zoo), 
dentine's Day is a calendar-initiated peer pres-
re goading even those who are happy singles 
couple themselves. 
What singles don't always realize is that 
:y are actually lucky. Singles don't have to 
onize over the Gift. Gifts are those mere 
jects which are transformed into the most 
werful form of nonverbal communication 
len given to the chosen sweetheart. Here is a 
quick guide: 
Too cheap— you don't care. 
Too typical— you really don't care. 
Too impersonal— you might as well 
break up. 
But, the other extremes can be as bad or 
worse. Too expensive, too bizarre, or too 
personal and the giver is an obsessed freak rush-
ing the relationship. 
Equally important is the crisis of flow-
ers, specifically roses. Every year to honor 
Valentine's Day we cut down hundreds and thou-
sands of innocent flowers, mercilessly sacrific-
ing them for the glory of love. A little known 
fact is that more men are shoved into poverty by 
the flower craze than by drug use. Think about 
how much money florists rake in because of 
Valentine's Day. Where are the militant 
activists? 
St. Valentine was a priest in Rome that 
turned into a martyr for the cause of love. He 
performed marriages for soldiers even though he 
knew it was forbidden and that he would be 
persecuted. Now hundreds of years after his 
beheading, the greatest sacrifice made for love is 
$29.99 plus tax. 
Face it, most of the happy couples out 
there are just the pawns of their egos, florists, 
candy stores, and Hallmark. Keep the sentiment, 
get rid of the materialism. I'd like to hear just 
one story about a guy that strings his girlfriend's 
name in lights across the Dick Building, a 
couple that donates blood together, a girl that 
has her boyfriend's name shaved into her hair-
something more unusual. 
I dare the whole student body to be 
creative this Valentine's Day. Be wild, crazy, 
inventive, then let us know, we'll print the most 
creative ones in the Clocktower--ii 
you don't 
send anything I'll just have to assume that love 
will settle for being mediocre. 
**Send your brief description and a picture (if 
possible) to the Clocktower—or you can harass 
the editor, Brian Ruckle. 
Letters to the 
editor 
Dear Editor, 
Historically I have been 
concerned 
with 
the 
excessive 
amounts of homework 
that my 
professors seem to believe I should be 
able to complete proficiently in the 
brief amount of time book-ended by 
class periods. 
Don't my teachers 
realize that I have five other classes 
that I need to be studying for? Don't 
my teachers remember what its like to 
be a student who has to balance work, 
study, friends, extracurricular activi-
ties, exercise, sleep, personal devo-
tions, and time just to crash? 
This past weekend, I was 
honored to eat Sabbath dinner with a 
number of adults who are alums of 
one of our sister colleges on the west 
coast. Just as conversations with my 
friends often turn to the subject of 
scholastics and the inordinate amount 
of study time necessary for comple-
tion of assigned tasks, these seasoned 
professionals reminisced about the 
hours of study and torment inflicted 
by their educators. 
You might be experiencing 
the cynical reaction of "Oh yeah, 
another 'up hill both directions in a 
snow storm type of story again!" But 
hold the rope that suspends the guil-
lotine of judgement for just a second. 
As they recounted some of the actual 
classes, a frightening realization hit 
me--they really did have it hard! 
Not to swing an axe at the 
base of Dr. Gibson's reputation as a 
demanding professor, but while I only 
had to read one extra book on the life 
of Eli Whitney for Early American 
History, my dinner hosts recounted 
three extra readings for one particular 
history class-one of which was "The 
Rise and Fall of the Third Reich," 
which alone is three times as long as 
Dr. Gibson's assigned reading. 
A previous 
conversation 
with my father also awakened in me 
a fear of the future and a desire to 
hold on to today. "I've had more free 
time in the past couple of years work-
ing on my doctorate than I had while 
working in my profession, " he 
related. It goes without 
saying 
(though I'm saying it anyway) that 
he's been MUCH busier than I while 
pressing for his terminal degree. 
Yes, we are stressed and 
burdened by the pressure placed by 
the many demands of the aforemen-
tioned responsibilities, but as Jesus 
said, "in this life you will face tribu-
lation." Those who attended classes a 
generation ago actually had harder 
class assignments in many instances, 
and those in the workforce experience 
the same stresses we feel plus others. 
As developing adults we need to 
continue learning how to balance our 
time commitments and prepare to 
move strongly into the roles that our 
education is training us for. However, 
following the model presented by the 
adult Sabbath dinner conversation, 
I ever eat with you in the Chat, I'd 
love to swop horror stories of our 
present mentors (just kidding if any 
of my professors are reading this)! 
Jeff Boyd 
IThiT is an open forum for issues you 
1 
I want rn nlk ahruit YAM ran n-m-sil rha I 
'want to talk about. You can e-mail the' 
Jeditor at dtower(@ucollege.edu); 
J 
jwrite via snail-mail to Clocktower, 3800 • 
|S. 48th Street, Lincoln, Ne, 68506; or 
| 
|drop a note in the editor's mailbox 
| 
| No anonymous letters are accepted. 
| 
I hunched with my can ol 
Raid, 
spraying anything 
that moved. 
Religion 
Thoughts on Righteousness 
by 
Divine 
Amnesia 
Joe Rector 
Religion Editor 
In Further Along the Road Less Traveled, Mi Scott 
Peck tells about a Filipino girl who claimed she saw visions 
of Jesus. 
The news spread, and a monsignor arrived to 
determine whether the Catholic church could sanction the 
messages. 
After a thorough investigation, he remained 
perplexed. He didn't want to bless a hoax, and he certainly 
wanted to avoid, condemning 
genuine visions, so he decided on 
a test. 
"The next time Jesus 
comes," he instructed the girl, 
"ask Him the last sin I confessed." 
At their next meeting, the priest 
anxiously inquired about Christ's 
response. The girl replied, "Jesus 
said, 'I can't remember."' 
Many of us feel comfort-
able with the picture of a forgetful 
God. Being embarrassed by our 
sins, we want them totally erased 
and forgotten. In our "dis-ease," 
we reduce salvation to righteous-
ness by divine amnesia. 
In my 
opinion, the Bible doesn't teach 
that 
God 
literally 
forgets 
confessed sins. Knowing that He 
remembers my faults and accepts 
me anyway deepens our friend-
ship. 
A casual 
reading 
of 
certain Bible texts can cause 
confusion on this issue. 
For 
example, Micah 7:19 states that 
God casts our sins "into the 
depths of the sea." However, it 
does not specify whether casting 
sins into the sea is equivalent to 
forgetting them. In any case, they 
will never resurface. 
Psalms 25:7 is another 
confusing text. When 
David 
prays, "Remember not the sins of 
my youth," it seems that he 
desires divine amnesia. However, 
Scripture records his errors in 
great detail. 
If David's accep-
tance depends on God's forgetful-
ness, then God must forget several 
portions of His Word. Since this 
seems unlikely, we must search for a more complete, less 
limiting understanding of "remember." 
In Scripture, "remember" often denotes action 
rather than simple recall. For example, when God remem-
bered Noah (Gen. 8:1), had He ever literally forgotten? God 
didn't need Gabriel to tap Him on the shoulder and ask, 
"Aren't you going to save that Noah fellow before he 
drowns?" Noah was never Out of God's thoughts. When the 
Bible says God remembered, it means He took action to save 
the ark. 
There are many other texts which link memory with 
action and forgetfulness with inaction. For example, Judges 
8:34 states that "Israel remembered not the Lord." Did the 
Israelites literally forget the God of Abraham, Isaac, and 
Jacob? Could they not recall their history? No. It means 
they were not obeying the stipulations of their covenant. 
Likewise, when the fourth commandment tells us to "remem-
ber the Sabbath," it doesn't require simple recall of God's 
holy day. Biblical remembering means we must actively 
"keep it holy," not remember the Sabbath and then go golf-
ing. 
As we have seen, Biblical remembrance often goes 
beyond recollection to action. Thus, if God were to "remem-
ber" our sins against us, He would take disciplinary action or 
give us up to the consequences of our sinfulness. God's 
forgetting doesn't signify that He literally can't recall our 
past—it means He chooses not to treat us as we deserve. 
For some, the notion that God might not literally 
forget our sins seems like bad news. However, all truth about 
God is good news. Understood correctly, God's memory of 
our sins can actually enhance our appreciation of His accep-
tance. 
Special human relationships have helped me put 
remembrance and forgiveness into perspective. My brother 
Jerry is one of the people I trust most completely. Over the 
years, we've shared many kind experiences and some rather 
mean ones. When he was a mere fledgling, barely out of the 
crib, a package arrived from Grandma. Opening it, we found 
a floppy, gangly, homely teddy for him. I received a cuddly, 
lovable Snoopy. Jerry immediately wrapped his arms around 
Snoopy's neck. 
"I want doggy," he squealed, and took 
"doggy" to bed. Jerry toted Snoopy to breakfast the next 
morning, took him to the potty, 
out to play, and everywhere he 
toddled. 
Being a big-hearted 
sibling (and being unable to 
touch Snoopy anyway), I gave 
him to my brother. 
Unfortunately, I was not 
always so kind. 
Every older 
child knows that we get more 
than our share of correction. We 
do something really minor, the 
little punkin' cries, and we get 
punished. "It's just not fair," I'd 
mumble through clenched teeth 
after each spanking. "He never 
gets in trouble." 
One day, 
Siough, I got him. I tattled, and 
Mom spanked him. I laughed 
during the administration of 
justice, 
and 
when 
Mom 
finished, she paddled me for 
mean-spiritedness. 
Because Jerry and I have 
shared so many good and bad 
experiences, 
he's 
my 
most 
trusted friend. 
He knows my 
strengths and weaknesses, and 
he has forgiven me more than 
seventy times seven. 
If he 
chose, he could reveal many 
rotten details of my character. 
However, he chooses to see my 
strengths—to focus on our 
"Snoopy" moments. 
Our 
closest 
friends 
accept us in spite of knowing 
the rust spots beneath our paint 
job. We trust them because we 
don't have to hide flaws from 
them. Ironically, we accept this 
truth in close human relation-
ships but reject it with our heav-
enly Father. 
Somehow, we don't trust God to know us 
intimately and love us in spite of our shortcomings. If the 
highest form of acceptance comes from knowing both sides 
and loving us anyway, then does God really accept us if He 
must literally forget our confessed sins? 
Clara Barton, founder of the Red Cross, was once 
reminded of a deeply hurtful incident. "That's something 1 
can't recall," she replied. 
When pressed further, she 
dismissed the matter by saying, "I distinctly remembei 
forgetting it." I trust God to have a similar attitude. I'm not 
saved by some trick of divine amnesia. Rather, I'm savec 
because God distinctly remembers accepting me in spite ol 
my weaknesses. 
Comparative Dangers 
Tim Winkelmann 
Reporter 
Here's a question for you. What is something 
everyone loves and also hates? Do you give up? It's 
called gossip. 
We all love gossip when it's about 
someone else. However, we hate it when we are the 
subject of innuendo. 
Isn't this true? 
It's easy to 
mention something about another person 
without 
considering the effect of our words. I'm dressed with 
dirty rags when it comes to gossip. 
Before I continue, I should define gossip (to 
make Mr. Blake happy). Gossip involves saying some-
thing negative about someone, whether the information 
is true or false, and whether or not the speaker intends 
to hurt that person. It doesn't matter if we are justified 
by our friends or by the laws of the land. If sharing 
information goes against the Bible's method for deal-
ing with our brothers and sisters, then it is gossip. 
This is not healthy for either party. After all is said 
and done, both sides tend to be hurt. 
The Bible prescribes three steps for preventing 
gossip. 
We've learned this method for years in 
Sabbath Schools, and we continue to be reminded of it 
in college Bible classes. The first step involves going 
alone to talk with the person. 
The second suggests 
bringing a couple of friends for support. Finally, bring 
the matter before the church. 
It's not easy to take 
these steps. It's much more easy to crank up the Xerox 
and send rumors around the globe. 
Our love of negative information can be illus-
trated by our choice of reading material. A magazine 
full of good news would not sell, but a paper full of 
trash about celebrities can make millions of dollars. 
Let's use the Huskers as an example. 
Suppose one 
A magazine full of 
good news would not 
sell, but a paper full 
of trash about 
celebrities can make 
millions of dollars. 
sports magazine prints an article praising 
Tom 
Osborne's masterful coaching. 
In contrast, another 
magazine contains an article criticizing Osborne's 
handling of the latest legal scrape involving one of his 
players. Which do you think will sell best nationally? 
The negative paper will sell, because we want to know 
others' faults. 
I hate to say it, but we feel a little better about 
ourselves when someone falls. 
God says that the 
who compare themselves 
among themselves a 
unwise (2 Cor. 10:12). We shouldn't use stories abc 
others to make ourselves feel better. 
I Peter 4:8 says, "Above all, love each oth 
deeply, because love covers a multitude of sin 
(NIV). First, love gives us the opportunity to forgp 
and second, it makes us use God's three steps inste 
of gossiping. People do not need to hear the sins 
others. 
Passing rumors is easy at a small school li 
Union. It doesn't take much for information to tra' 
between Rees, Prescott, and Culver, leaving someo 
crushed by others' opinions. We should treat everyo 
as if we might be caught in an embarrassing situati 
sometime. We should treat them as we would like 
be treated. Think of a world in which people behave 
a kind manner. Does it sound good to never be st 
matized and to be consistently lifted up with hone 
Friends, this is Christianity. Though we are sinne 
Christ died for us and covered us with His blo< 
Christians don't gossip. 
They cover a multitude 
sins. 
p 
•
M 
"•0. 
•••••••• 
WM 
To My Husband, 
____ 
I can't make it this Valentine's Day. 
Love, 
Andreya 
Holly, 
Do we have a chemistry date? I can hardly wait to go to 
VI again! 
Lova ya, 
Becky 
Hey Ugly (A.J.), 
You are the best roommate I could ever ask for. I'm 
gonna miss ya next year. 
Love ya, 
Hoser (B.H.) 
Dig Daddy S. 
You are the light of my life I love you so very much. 
Love ya, 
Tweekums 
Super Nub, 
XOXO Hugs-N-Kisses. Thanx 4 your friendship and 
hugs. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Big Sis, 
Redeem your coupon! 
Love, 
Li'l Sis 
Mr. Bush, 
You're the greatest 
Thanx 4 your help with things. 
Happy Valentines Day. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Jesus, 
Thanks for pure love that never dumps us. 
—us 
Brenda, you rule at foosball. Open the protea! Be my 
valentine! 
-Cookie Boy 
Karlyn, 
Happy Valentines Day 2 the sweetest gal. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Alana, 
You make me smile real big. Thank you for your sweet-
ness. 
-Zuni '94 
Dearest Nightingale, 
Thanx 4 being the sweetest friend. Luv ya girl. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Perry, 
Thanks for bein' my Lifelong Valentine! 
I Love You, 
Chrystal 
To Karlyn my other Li'l Sis, 
I am happy that we are family. 
I love you. Happy Valentines Day!! 
Love, 
Andreya 
To Sister-in-Law Heather, 
I love ya 
To Leanne Jakupec: Simply because I love you! JA TE 
LJUBIM! 
Yours, 
Scott Krause 
Dear Becky V., 
We might never share our thoughts, might never really 
know each other, yet I want you to know that your every 
glance sends joyful shivers through my soul. 
From the Shy Shadow 
Give a Valentine to my most true friend, most beautiful 
girt, most intelligent, and perfect girlfriend (Michelle 
Miller). 1-4-3 
Dearest Nikole Heinrich, 
Being with you is like having Valentine's Day everyday. 
I love you, 
Jonas T. 
Dearest Brad, 
I love you man, 
KD 
". 
Dear Michelle, 
/ jy; 
I just wanted you to know I love you man! 
K 
Dear Alana F., 
Have a happy VT Day and always remember my phone 
number. 
KD 
Jennifer Simmons, 
Hello hon, you know I love ya! Glad we're still room-
mates and we haven't killed each other. Hee Hee. 
Love ya woman, 
Michelle Picciocca 
Hi TDBH, 
I don't need 20 words, just 3: 
Valentines Day! 
Love, 
G 
I Love You! Happy 
My Soul Mate Joyce, 
I see stars each time you hit me. 
lump on my head for you. 
Your Bermudian He-Man 
*M. 
K -A 
Dear Corey, 
Thank you for all die patience and kindness you have 
shown to me. You're my best friend and I love you so much. 
Happy Valentines Day! 
Love, 
Jeannie Bennett 
XOXOX 
Be my Valentine, Nirma. Your just the bestest and the 
mostest. 
Love, 
Tony 
Jefferson Dahling-
Let's have one last fling before you tie the knot!! 
-Lots of Luv-
Brian Wehling, 
Do you love me? Do you want to be my friend? Don't 
be afraid to take me by the hand, if you want to, I think this 
is how love goes, check Yes or No. 
....Moonshadow 
Wendy, Keila, Wendy, Dwayne, Julio, Monica, Brian, and 
Mike thank you for being there for me. I love you all. You 
are my Valentine. Karen 
Dear CHAT, 
I love you. I love your food. 
Your Hungry Admirer 
Dear Vanessa, 
My love my life, I want you and need you. "Never Say 
Goodbye," by Bon Jovi really is our song. 
Your heart throb, 
Jesse 
Julio, 
No queria dejar una oportunidad mas para decirte cuanto 
te quiero y tambien para desearte un fleliz dia de San 
Valentin...Te quiero mucho, 
Keila 
There will always be a 
Dear Tom, 
My heart yearns for you, my island man. 
Love (and I mean that), 
Yomana 
Dolly, 
You add sparkle to my life! 
Secret Admirer 
Querida Wendy, 
Gracias por ser mi Valentine. Yo soy tu cajita de choco-
late donde puedas sacar siempre. 
Te quiero, tu Valentine, 
Dwayne 
Dear Rommate, 
You're the best roommate and friend anybody can have. 
I am glad that we are rommatcs. Someday a man will come 
into your life. 
Love, 
Mickey 
Dear Cammie, 
Hey girl, you're a wonderful friend! 
Happy Valentines Day. 
Loveya! 
Esther Hurd 
Dear Dr. Vaqce, 
I'm secretly in love with you. 
Your most Devoted Student. 
To Danny, 
You are such a sweetie. Thanx 4 your advice and care. 
Happy Valentine's Day. 
Love, Tamara 
the 
that 
Dear Eddie Mejia, 
You're cool. 
Love, 
Eddie Mejia 
DearPJ, 
You are the nicest roommate ever, I'm sorry about 
beatings. I promise to stop in honor of V-Day. 
Love, 
Toby 
Second Floor, 
You guys rule! 
Tp my dear Adrian, 
"Hianx 4 your smiles, humor, and concerns. I'm glad 
you're in my life. 
Love always, 
Tamara 
Jessica, 
I'll love you forever 
I'll like you for always 
As long as I'm living 
My baby you'll be. 
Love, 
Brandon 
To my sexy man Jared, 
You are such a stud. May the girl of your dreams appear., 
Happy Valentine's Day. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Hard Work + True Devotion = Forever = Aimee + Eric 
I love you Honey! Happy 4th Valentine's Day together! 
Eric Harl 
To Jeannie, 
Please be my Valentine. For over 3 years you've been 
mine. I love you will all my heart. 
Love, 
Corey Bohl 
Hi everybody, hope this Valentine's day is full of lots of 
love for you and that the cupid has struck! 
Brian 
You are the sweetest Thanks for being you. 
—Mystery Man 
Heather Hornbacher, 
Will you be my Valentine again this year? (It's Lori here) 
Happy Valentine's Brian, (& Steve) 
I give a Valentine to our whole "Group" and especially to 
my love Jani Anderson 
Jeremy Ray 
Heather, 
You my friend! Purr, purr, purr.....I wuv you! Schliiip! 
Forever Friends—Steve 
To My Sweetheart, Jennifer Perry, 
You are the sunshine of my life! 
I love you! Aaron 
Dear Danita, 
Thank you so much for spending another great 
Valentine's Day with me. You are so special to me. I love 
you always! 
Marcus N. Mullins 
Yo, 2nd floor boys, Happy Valentines and I hope you all 
get women soon. 
Love Ed 
Dear ASB, 
OK, guys. I think, Valentine's Day is a cool holiday, 
that's why we have to celebrate cool, too. I hope, next year 
Valentine's banquet will be with champaigne and dancing. ' 
Shakyla 
g 
My dearest Don, 
f 
I love and appreciate that you are in my life. 
i 
I love you. Andreya 
^ 
Tamara, Andrea, Betsy, Laura, Heather, Crystal, Thanks 
for being my "gMfriends." 
I love you gins, 
Lori 
m 
* 
To Adrian, 
Roses are red 
Violets are blue 
you are to sweet 
But I still like you. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Violet, 
MM 
M 
•NHH 
great roommate. May cupid strike you and 
stir love with 
! 
Love, 
Tamara 
Scott Lew, 
Thanx 4 your jokes, smile, and concerns. May you 
find the "woman" of your dreams. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Brian Ruckle, 
Thanx 4 everything, your smiles, humor, and chats. 
Happy Valentines Day. 
Love. 
Tamara 
Lori, 
Thanx 4 being so cod. I love ya girt. Good luck w/ 
Brian 
Love, 
Tamara 
Dear Brent, 
You put a skip in my step, butterflies in my stomach, a 
song in my heart, and stars in my eyes, 
Luv, Jenn Raye 
To ray Romeo.. Jeremy, 
Thanx 4 being a cool friend. Happy Valentine's Day. 
Love, Tamara 
To my wonderful sister Holly: I love you very much 
and 1 am so glad to have you as a sister and friend. 
Love, 
Heidi 
Dear Wanda, 
I guess this means my secret is out. 
Love, 
Andrew 
To Heather, 
You have been the best bud 2 me. Happy Valentine's 
Day. May cupid strike you. 
Love, 
. Tamara 
Roses are red 
Violets are blue 
And one Valentine's Day 
They are all for you. 
Melaxiic Show 
Keila, 
Tu eres la rocjor novia que in muchacho pueda tener. 
Tfe quiero mucho. Feliz dia de San Valentin. 
Julio 
Dear Brian Ruckle, 
I admire you a great deal! 
To Don Juan De Marco, 
Good luck w/your surprises for you know who. Have 
a good one. Happy Valentine's Day. 
Love, 
Tamara 
Tu amor, hara este dia de San Valentin, muy especial, 
aunque tu no estes qui conmigo. 
Wendy Gal va 
lb my big sis, 
Happy Valentine's Day. Wish you and Don all the best. 
Love. 
Tamara 
lb Dwayne Mott 
I love you and thanks for always being there for me! 
Thanks for always making me smile! Happy Valentine's 
Day! 
Love Always, 
Wendy Mejia (Your Girt) 
Dear George, 
You are growing into the carpet, I am going to have to 
vacuum you out. 
Love, 
Jo-Bob 
Dearest Douglas, 
I am truly lost without you here. I wilt be home soon. 
Love always, 
Sister 
To Eddia Mejia, 
I love you enormously! You're the greatest brother and 
my best friend! Thanks for always caring for me! 
Love your little Sis, 
Wendy Mejia 
Dear Rachel, 
Roses are red, violets are blue, thanks for being my 
Valentine, I'U be yours too. 
Love, 
Tim 
For Lori 
We're too different to be together, bit I'll always 
remember you. 
From the Mystery in Emptiness 
Valentine's Day guys! Love ya David! 
Alanna 
Blood runs red 
When hunting the buck 
As do the Cornhuskers 
For which they — 
by D.P. 
Be Fri, 
Thanks for everything. You've helped me out a lot 
since we've met. Will you be Valentine? 
Love you, 
St Ends 
Happy Valentine's Cookie Monster! 
With love, Your Cookie 
Para todos mis amigos, 
Sin ustedes, nada seria igual. 
Los quiero mucho. Keila 
Karen Hawkins, 
You are the most wonderful person in the world. You 
have a gorgeous voice and play the piano like a profes-
sional. Hove you! Yours, Brook Bennett 
PB: 
Hey Wild Thing! Heart's Day is upon us and ray 
words of endearment ring: I love you! 
Hugs and Kisses, TB 
To: Cuz Buz. 
Thanks few being such a good cuz to me. I love ya, Doll 
To Dacyl, 
I miss our talks but hopefully we will get a chance. 
Happy Valentine's Day. Love, Andreya 
To my two little sisters, 
I love you and adore you. I am so glad that you are in 
my life. Love, Big Sis 
To Crystal, 
You are die greatest I miss seeing you around the 
dorm. Happy Valentine's Day. Love, Andreya 
P.S. Before you know it, that special someone will 
return. 
Anthony Stroud: 
The type of Mend who always replies "No problem" to 
any request for help. Thank you. -H 
Jess, 
You're absolutely right- bigger is better! Yellow coats 
rule--You're the best! Vanessa 
Message for Monica Bosques: 
Happy Valentine's Day, I Love You. God Bless. -Efrain 
Dolly, 
Jon says he loves you! 
Dear Jason Hoewing, 
I love you more than any Chia-pet I've ever owned. 
I'm glad you think I'm cool. Please continue to be as 
crazy as you wanna be. Your bro, Eddie Mejia 
Dear Amy, 
Thanx for being so encouraging and understanding and 
such a great friend and roomate. Love, Wanda Welch 
To: Ed Mejia 
I love the way you look in the morning, I appreciate 
your smile and good humor. 
Dear Christine Rosette, 
Our darling daughter, please continue to make Jas, and 
I proud. And may your Valentine be full of love and uh... 
money and stuff. -Ed Mejia 
Natasha, 
You said you lost that loving feeling, but I love you 
anyway. -Farid 
To: Christine Rosette, 
The way you make make me feel, wow! Makes my 
toes curl. I like your clothing, it's so nice and cool. And 
even your banquet dress too. 
Dear Amanda Krehbiel, 
Thanx for being such a "Super Deluxe" friend. 
Low, Ed Mejia m, Jr. Phd. 
Dear Jonas ami Nikole, 
Thanx for the Fajitas. Love, Ed Mejia 4 
Dear Union People, 
Thanx for all the wonderful attendant* at ASB stuff!!! 
Keep up the soul quest Ed Mejia -Jit' 
To Ebbe Cathell: Happy Chat Valentine. Please go out 
with me and be my lady. -RuRwl 
To the best Li'l sister in the world, I love you. Shut up 
Beavis!! Love, Big Sis 
Hey Birtha and Hilda, 
Here's a sappy Valentine wish for you guys since 
you're the best! Love, Shirley 
Hey Melinda P. 
The first time I looked into your eyes made my heart 
stop. 
Still feeling faint, Tweedle Dee 
Happy Vafcntine'i day sweetie! I love you!! 
xoxo 
Jean nine 
Pookie, 
Hey you bodacious babe! We think you're totally 
happening in a far out wayl Luv ya, Shirley & Hilda 
Francis, 
Alas, my love, ours was not to be. Remember me 
always in your dreams. To eternity and beyond, Yours. 
Jeffie: Just 
! I do! 5 months + still going! 
Love, Marci DiProfio 
DDW: Great roomates are hard to find. I guess yar just 
lucky. Love, Marci DiProfio 
Maaaaci, 
Well babe, its been an exciting year so far. Thanx for 
all the help, encouragement, and good times. I love you! 
-Jeff 
Dear Me, 
Everyone loves you. Everyone wants to date you. 
Everyone. They're just shy. Happy Valentine's Day. 
Love, Me 
To my husband, 
Hard to believe we've been married six years! Thanks 
for always being my friend. We've been through a lot 
together. Love, Heather 
Happy Valentine's my roommate & best friend. 
Hopefully, one of these Valentines we will find our lost 
hearts. I love you always, Sunshine 
Lancelot, 
Will you be mine, for Real!?? Love, Moonshadow 
Dear Family (Ed & Jason), 
I would like to tell you how much I appreciate the 
closeness & unity we share. I love you both. 
Love, 
Christine 
To ray Love Whale: it's been along time since we've 
seen water. 
Love Whale H 
Eric, 
Happy Valentine's Day Sweetheart! As each year 
passes, I love you more. You are truly my "angel flying 
low." With love, Aimee 
To my adoring Trinity, 
I have learned more from you than I can express-
because most of it is profane. -Allison 
To Tad 
I want YOU to be my Valentine. 
A secret admirer 
TU., 
What more can I say, you're the best. I love you. 
N.A.S. 
Brad, here's to fanticizin' 'bout b's and h's on 
Valentine's Day. Shout out to my dead homies. 
—Tie Tie Luva 
Tom, be careful in the sandbox on heart day! Thanks 
for the coolness. The search goes on. Word. 
—Weekend Warrior 
Amanda, 
Happy V-day, argentina! 
Love, Pancho 
Sylvia, 
You sing nice Christmas carols. Thanks for your 
friendship. —Bret 
Eddie, Che! Dale A.S.B.! Vamos a gobemar juntos! 
ElFlagador 
Hey there Patrick and Christina. 
Have a nice 
Mike, 
Valentines Banquet: 
Cupid was certainly busy the evening of February 2, 1997 
Love is... 
"...a deep well: a man may 
drink from it often, but he falls 
into it only once." 
—Old Proverb 
"All, everything 
that I understand, I 
understand only 
because I love.'.' 
—Leo Tolstoy 
War and Peace 
"In one high bound [love] has overleaped the massive wall of 
our selfhood; it has made appetite itself altruistic, tossed 
personal happiness aside as a triviality and planted the interests 
of another in the center of our being." 
—C.S. Lewis 
"Love combines a peculiar unfathomable combination of under-
standing and misunderstanding." 
—Diane Arbus 
"Real life lies in 
love, laughter and 
work. We are 
shaped, and fash-
ioned by what we -
love." 
—Goethe 
Love 
has 
ever in view 
the 
absolute 
loviness 
of 
that which it 
beholds." 
--George 
MacDonald 
Unspoken 
Sermons, 
1867 
Reviving Romance 
Dr. William D. Fitts 
Reporter 
When asked if romance is an archaic concept, I think of 
the young woman interviewed in the PBS documentary 
Making Sense of the Sixties: "I think sex with love is that 
much better, but I don't think you have to have love neces-
sarily to have good sex." I'm also reminded of the woman 
described in Mary Chapin Carpenter's hit song "He Thinks 
He'll Keep Her." The woman does the laundry, makes his 
bed, carpools P.T.A., drives all day, makes his coffee, packs 
his suitcase for business trips, and is never really told he 
loves her; he just "thinks he'll keep her" because she always 
does for him. Actually, I don't believe romance is archaic. 
I know colleagues who send roses or special cards to their 
wives or take them out to eat (I do all of these on a fairly 
regular basis—not just for special occasions, although my 
wife and I just celebrated the twenty-fourth anniversary of 
our first date.). 
I do think, however, considering the statement of the 
young woman in the documentary and Carpenter's lyrics 
that romance has gone through some rough times in 
America. One need only note how much older than eigh-
teen many of the seniors looked in a 1957 high school year-
book to understand why the sixties' youth said what they 
did. As we've heard before, much of the rebellion of the 
sixties' youth was due to the attempt in the fifties by many 
(often well-meaning) parents to fit them into the "little 
boxes" of the well-known folk song. However, one needs 
only look at how much older many of those sixties' rebels 
Top Ten Signs You Are 
Having A Bad Valentines's 
Allison Lamon 
who broke sexual taboos now look than their peers to see 
the results of the promiscuity. 
And the high number of 
divorces among the baby boomers can also be traced to the 
situation in Carpenter's song: sooner or later the romance-
starved housekeeping slaves met their husbands at the door 
and told them the free labor was over. Therefore, I propose 
that Valentine's day is a good time to increase the romance 
in our relationships. 
The expectations of romance differ from woman to 
woman. Some like routine (the Friday afternoon rose, 
special Walgreen card, walks under the moon, candlelight 
dinners). Some don't; they like to be surprised. Some like 
candy. (My wife hates it; she prefers potato chips...no 
kidding.) Some like to be serenaded. (Again, this doesn't 
impress my wife. What a waste of all that money I spent on 
guitar lessons. My rate for fifteen minutes under a balcony 
is $5. I mean it; just don't ask for anything older than 
Elvis, Holly, or Orbison.) Some like poetry (Eureka! 
Really. Neither the feminism of the seventies nor the mate-
rialism of the eighties could kill this one.) Which poets 
work best? Try Byron's "She Walks in Beauty" or "Maid of 
Athens," Wordsworth's "She Was a Phantom of 
Delight," or one of Shakespeare's sonnets. Some 
are romanced when we roll up our sleeves after 
a big meal and plunge into the soapy dish-
water. (Try this at her home sometime. 
You will immediately make a big hit 
with her mother, which may make your life easier in later 
years.) Sometimes we can romance her by taking a special 
interest in her troubled relative. I did this with an older 
brother who had just returned from Vietnam and was 
disgusted with life in general and the local Adventist 
congregation. I lost the girl, but he and I became good 
friends, and he returned to church. We can also romance by 
simply listening. My point is that we need to observe and 
listen to find which "romancers" work with her and use 
them. Sensitivity, gentleness, communication, and respect 
work every time. A date who isn't interested in these four 
probably isn't worth dating, anyway. 
Is romance selfish? Only when its goal is 
selfish...which I think fits the sixties girl in the PBS docu-
mentary. She had confused sex and romance. She was 
short-circuiting her feelings, ability to think clearly, and 
ethos. When it is other-centered, romance can build up, 
reaffirm, and heal. The husband in Carpenter's song was 
also selfish: "She does for me; therefore I think I'll keep 
her." He needed a maid, a nanny (and probably wanted her 
to look like the one on CBS when she was 
sixty-five), and an automatic dish-
washer, not someone to love. I 
think had he tried some of the 
suggestions, he might have 
been able to keep her. 
Reporter 
xl 
10. 
Hugs and Kisses are something you eat. 
9. 
As far as you are concerned, X's and O's are only used, in Tic Tac Toe. 
8. 
The only Valentine you got (not from yourself) was from your insurance company. 
7. 
Your chocolates are filled with hemlock. 
6. 
The closest you get to holding hands is being hand cuffed to a police officer. 
5. 
1-900 number operators hang upon you. 
4. 
Cupid took your name out of his rolodex. |l 
^ 
3. 
You define PDA as Public Displays of Animosity. 
2. 
Instead of chocolate, you eat cooked cherubs—normally you're vegetarian. 
1. 
You quote Juliet, "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?" and the only answer is a 
barking dog. 
The Folklore of Love 
Johanna McClay 
Layout Editor 
Through the centuries, people have been falling in 
love. For some, falling in love was an easy task. For 
others, like Romeo and Juliet, falling in love was a 
trial. No matter where you look, someone is always 
looking for true love. 
True love seems evasive and 
hard to come by for many. Evidence for this lies in the 
many charms, divinations, superstitions, beliefs, and 
prospects of love that have been handed down over the 
centuries. Each of these has added to the ever increas-
ing multitude of ways to get your man or women. 
Beware, some of the ways mentioned below are rather 
strange. We don't suggest trying them in the dorm! 
Name two apple seeds and put one, moistened, on 
each temple. The one that sticks the longest will be 
your true love. 
Repeat the name of the one you love while you cut 
open an apple, and if the apple contains twelve seeds, 
you will marry that person. 
Place four-leaf clovers beneath the four corners of the 
bed sheet, and you will dream that night of your 
future true love. 
On your birthday, when you go to bed at night, take 
off your slipper or shoe. Stand with your back to the 
door, and throw the shoe over your head. You must 
not look at it again until morning. If the toe points 
toward the door, you will be married before the year 
is out. 
Name each of the four fingers of one hand for a 
different person of the opposite sex, then press or 
squeeze them tightly together with the other hand. 
The one that hurts the worst indicates whom you will 
marry. 
full of water, you may be 
married that year. 
If you stumble up the 
stairs, it is a sign of 
marriage. The closer to the 
top of the stairs, the sooner 
the marriage. 
If a couple is out walking together 
and stumble, it is a sign that they 
will be married. 
When a cat washes its face in front of 
several persons, the first person at whom it 
looks will be the first to be married. 
Never let anyone sweep your feet, or sweep under 
your feet, or sweep beneath the chair on which you 
are sitting—you will not marry if this happens. 
A white speck on your little fingernail foretells a new 
sweetheart. 
Think of your sweetheart when you have the hiccups. 
If they stop immediately, your sweety loves you. If 
they continue, you are not loved. 
If you want to sneeze and cannot, it is a sign some-
one loves you and does not dare to tell it. 
Think of the one you love when you are about to 
sneeze, and at the same time press your upper lip. If 
your beau loves you, you will not sneeze. 
Spilling flour on the front of your dress while baking 
means that your spouse will be a drunkard. 
whom you 
please. 
If you can 
make your 
forefinger and 
little finger touch 
together over the 
back of your two 
middle fingers, you 
can get whomever you 
want. 
You can secure anyone you 
want by cutting your nails on 
nine successive Sundays. 
(For Gentlemen) 
You can secure a girl's love by pulling a hair from 
her head. 
To make a young girl fall madly in love, hide the 
dried tongue of a turtledove somewhere in her room. 
She will be helpless to resist your advances. 
To win a maiden, the lover should count her steps up 
to the ninth one, then take some earth from the track 
made by her heel, and carry it in his pocket for nine 
days. 
If you want to have good luck with a girl, just wear a 
rose. 
Found in The Folklore of Love and 
Courtship. 
selected and edited by Duncan 
Emrich 
If you can walk around the block with your mouth 
Swallow the heart of a wild duck, and you may have 
LIVING 
Basketball Intramural Preview 
Brian Carlson 
Reporter 
The season for intramural basketball in the Thunderdome has once again rolled around. Each student athlete will run up and down the hardwood floor, scoring points and 
playing defense, trying to lead their team to victory. The games will be aggressive, action-filled, and exciting. Let's take a look at each of the teams, and see who will be the main 
Men's League: 
Team 1 (Tarheels)— Chris Brown, Jonas Tavares, Jonathan Lund, Brent Page, Luke Liepke, Louie Wade, David Wisbey, Bret Schlisner, Jeff Naustdal. 
Team 2 (Wildcats)— David Ritter, Mike Kendall, Mark Brodis, Don Bush, Aron Henninger, Travis Nelson, Tony Scott, Julio Serrano, Ryan Svihla, Levi Abbott. 
Team 3 (Razorbacks)— Brandon Pardeiro, Ed Mejia, Justin Bacon, Jeff Deming, Seth Ellis, Marcus Mullins, Ernie Reynolds, Wayne Trana, Trey Watson. 
Team 4 (Orangemen)— Corey Bohl, Casey Bock, Kenneth Dick, Michael Diehl, Tad Edgerton, Brandon Holland, Kent Johnson, Jabin Krassin, Kyle Martsching, Greg Steiner. 
Team 5 (Wolverines)— Clark Sargeant, Jason Hoewing, Nick Bock, Ivan Ceniceros, Farid Hii, Justin Schober, Jared Still, Scott Wilde, Jonathan Stewart. 
Team 6 (Bruins)— Chris Gorton, Tory Gorton, Scott Atwater, Eric Hansen, Darrel Hoyt, Marc Oster, Matt Teller, Casey Turner, Mike Wasemiller. 
Team 7 (Expansion)— Merlin Wehling, Steve Becker, Greg Stock, Lee Bowes, Bortz Osario, Josh Eno, Dan Wysong, Sam Huenegardt, Tom Nazarenus, Dan Rickard. 
Team 8 (faculty)— various basketball warriors 
Women's League: 
Team 1— Katy Klootwyk, Jen Card, Karisa Chinchurreta, Jackie Morlen, Michelle Hansen, Nikole Heinrich, Maureen Reid, Renae Wehling, Amanda Rocchio. 
Team 2— Sherry Follett, Wendy Barnes, Beth Dawal, Karen Galva, Brenda Hardt, Michelle Huebner, Jana Kaiser, Virlyn Tejada, Eya Tkachenko. 
Team 3— Jennifer Booth. Wendy Stoner, Dolly Dinning, Kelly Dodds, Lora Hagen, Jenny Hargrove, Tammy Martin, Aimee Monson, Violet Onkoba. 
Team 4— Kari Schebo, Marci DiProfio, Becky High, Denae Kelstrom, Atsuko Mukai, Jasmine Park, Tiffany Parker, Heather Shafer, Duska Wright. 
SPORTS 
Schick 3-on-3 
Brian Carlson 
Reporter 
On Monday night, January 27, a group of eager 
basketball players huddled around athletic director, Ric 
Spaulding, as he explained the rules for the annual Schick 
Super Hoops 3-on-3 Basketball Tournament. Each athlete 
knew that only one of the seven teams present would be 
victorious and move on to the Regional Championship 
Tournament. Faces were etched with determination. Finally 
the huddle broke and the games began. 
Round One was highlighted by a forfeit by Farid 
Hii's team, and Justin Schober's team having to play with 
only two players for most of their game. Schober and Bret 
Schlisner battled valiantly until Brandon Pardeiro showed 
up, but were thrashed by Ernie Reynold's team. In other first 
round action, the team comprised of brothers Tory and Chris 
Gorton, took care of business, beating Jason Hoewing's 
team, 33-19. 
In the next round of games, the Gorton team won 
again, this time shooting down the Seth Ellis team, 34-21. In 
the other semifinal game in the winner's bracket, the 
Reynolds team moved easily past the Santiago team, 37-24. 
In the consolation bracket, Schober's team, now with all 
three players, defeated the Hii tearr, 38-23. Other games on 
Monday night included Schober winning again, 39-35, 
against the Ellis team and the Santiago team slipping by the 
Tourney 
Hoewing team, 34-29. 
Heading into Tuesday's action, four 
teams were still alive. In the consolation bracket, 
the Schober team, continued their late surge, 
easily beating the Santiago team, 37-24. In the 
winner's bracket, the Gorton team outscored the 
Reynolds team, putting them in prime position for 
winning the tourney. Having only lost once, the 
Reynolds team matched up against the Schober 
team, to see who would challenge Team Gorton 
for the title. Team Schober again cruised, coming 
away with a 47-26 victory: 
The Finals were set. 
Team Gorton 
(Chris Gorton, Tory Gorton, Jared Still, Corey 
Bohl) vs. Team Schober (Justin Schober, Brandon 
Pardeiro, Dan Wysong, Bret Schlisner). In the 
end, it was the Gorton team that came away with 
the big victory, thanks to the three-point shooting 
of Tory Gorton. The final score was 45-31. 
Thanks to Schick for the many razors 
and prizes that they gave away. Also, good luck 
to Team Gorton as they move on to the regional 
finals! 
threats: 
Tornados blast onto volleyball scene 
mmmmmm 
(adapted from an article in the Lincoln Journal Star, Tuesday, 1/21/97) 
Brian Carlson 
Reporter 
Now that everything has fallen into place, the man footing the bill for 
the National Volleyball Association said he can start spreading the news about 
the Nebraska franchise in the women's professional league. 
Gary Wyma, who owns all or the majority of each of the six league 
teams, says that the start to their 10-game regular-season 
will begin in 
February. The Nebraska Tornados, featuring 1995 Nebraska All-Americans 
Allison Weston and Christy Johnson, open their season against the St. Louis 
Spirits Feb. 1 at Omaha Burke High School. The Spirits' top player is former 
Husker All-American Lori Endicott, the U.S. Olympic team's starting setter in 
1992 and 1996. 
The Tornados play four of their five home games at Burke and the 
other, March 29, at Lincoln Northeast. 
NVA players will earn between $75 and $250 per match. The excep-
tion is Endicott, the only U.S. national team member in the league, who has her 
own pay scale. 
Endicott is the biggest name in a league that features several players 
who were college All-Americans in various divisions. 
Most of Endicott's teammates joined pro teams in places such as 
Japan, Brazil, and Italy, signing six-figure deals. The NVA features a level of 
play just a notch below those leagues, said Kimberly Coleman, the league's 
director of operations. 
Nebraska Tornados 
Player 
Allison Weston 
Christy Johnson 
Kelly Aspegren 
Kate Crnich 
Amy Steffel 
Denise Otten 
Rebecca Emstmeyer 
Julie Krofcheck-Strong 
Annie Viviano 
Rachel Errthum 
Danielle Anderson 
Maria Hedbeck 
Roster: 
College 
Nebraska 
Nebraska 
Nebraska 
Nebraska 
Nebraska-Omaha 
Nebraska-Omaha 
Concordia 
Union (Kentucky) College 
Bellevue 
Nebraska 
Central Missouri 
Nebraska 
Brad Sdtmann 
Sports Editor 
, 
Sportsman of the Week: Tom Nazarenus, for his thunderous dunk, while teetering atop 
his donkey, giving his team the championship in the ASB sponsored-activity. Way to go, 
Tom! How come it took you two tries to stand up? 
Sportswomen of the Week: No questions on this one! The Union College Lady Warriors 
basketball team on their two-game winning streak. Congratulations on your outstanding 
victories. 
Thumbs-Up: Again, we look to the donkey basketball game and Jason Hoewing's acro-
batic "lean under the donkey not falling off sitting back up nothing but net" shot. That was 
impressive. 
Thumbs-Down: To a coach's decision that didn't allow Julienne Brauer and Elisha 
Bonilla into a Union Lady Warriors game, when they were winning by 19 points. Come on, 
now...they deserve a chance to play. 
Quote of the Week: "The donkeys seem to be winning," said a bystander at the recent 
Donkey Basketball game, as Ben Austin took yet another nose dive. 
HELP WANTED 
Men/Women earn $480 weekly assembling 
circuit boards / electronic components at 
home. Experience unnecessary, will train. 
Immediate openings your local area. 
Call 1-520-680-7891 ext. c200 
i 
Ben Austin and his unwilling donkey. 
Jason continues his acrobatics on his beast. 
Tornados Home Schedule: 
3/2 
Arizona 
at Omaha Burke 
1:00 p.m. 
3/15 
Colorado 
at Omaha Burke 
7:30 p.m. 
3/29 
Iowa 
at Lincoln Northeast 
7:30 p.m. 
4/20 
Utah 
at Omaha Burke 
1:00 p.m. 
For ticket information call 1-800-577-4537 
Jason Hoewing, leader of the Jacks, led his team to win the Chiaheads 
Grasstop Family for second place. 
Jason goes for a spin on his ass. 
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 
Barry gets 
Cyberspaced 
Lora Hagen 
Reporter 
Get a copy of Dave Barry's computer book, Dave 
Barry in Cyberspace. It's a fun book to read, espe-
cially if you've ever gotten frustrated with computers. 
When you scan the book, you can pick up all sorts 
of information about computers and the internet— 
well duh, it is about cyberspace. 
Dave uses his own cynical, twisted, "Bob's Your 
Uncle" method of looking at all the computer crazi-
ness. 
In fact, I just happen to have an info-nugget 
from his book. Just sample this and see what you 
think.What do people talk about in chat areas? "Most 
chat-area discussions revolve around the fascinating 
topic of who is entering and leaving the chat area. A 
secondary, but equally fascinating topic is where 
everybody lives. Also, for a change of pace, every 
now and then the discussion is interrupted by a 
hormone-crazed 13-year-old boy wishing to talk dirty 
to women." 
Dave also takes time to answer the basics, such as, 
what kind of computer do I need? "Experts agree that 
the best type of computer for your individual needs is 
one that comes on the market about two days after 
you actually purchase some other computer." And, as 
anyone knows who has tried to keep up with current 
technological findings, that is the truth. 
So, all your computer barely-functionates get the 
book from the library (it's about $25.00 for the hard-
back if you really, really want it) and peruse its white 
pages of black print. That way/you'll get to laugh at 
someone else and have fun not worrying about what 
to do when you get snowed in next Sunday. 
Computer geeks (Dave's self-describing term) will 
enjoy this too, even if it doesn't exactly praise the 
computer literate. 
Here's a little extra for your money. If you really 
enjoy the book, you can play the Dave Barry In 
Cyberspace game. They send questions from the 
book and you e-mail answers back to them. It's 
easy, it's fun, and you win stuff. Or so I assume. I 
haven't yet. But I will. I have not yet given up 
hope in this particular area, just on other, more 
savory items. Anyway, here's the address: 
dave@yoyo.com; the Website is: 
http://www.yoyo.com/davebarry. 
P.S. "As clock radios become more intelligent, 
they'll start to actually anticipate your actions. 
Even as you read these words, top appliance scien-
tists are working on a prototype clock radio of 
tomorrow that will have little feet, so that after it 
sounds the alarm, it can dart around the room, 
evading your fist. Eventually your clock radio will 
be so smart that it will figure out, after being 
punched a few times, that you don't really '"want* 
to wake up at 6 a.m. Instead of sounding the alarm, 
it will tiptoe quietly out of the room, telephone 
your workplace,and, mimicking your voice, inform 
your employer that you're quitting." 
What's the Frequency, Lee? 
Lee Bowes 
Reporter 
If you are tired of hearing Alanis Morissette, Bone Thugs in Harmony, and Garth 
Brooks, maybe you should tune in to Lincoln's community radio station, KZUM—89.3 FM. 
The programmers at KZUM take pride in the fact that 85% of what is heard on the station is 
not heard on any other radio station in Lincoln. The mix of blues, jazz, and multi-ethnic 
programs is offered as an alternative to the overplayed tunes too often heard on Lincoln's 
"popular" stations.Sound Alternatives, KZUM's written voice, says the station's mission is 
"to increase ethnic awareness through diverse music, news and public affairs programming, 
while striving for spontaneity and programming excellence both in content and technique." 
Lezlie Roper, KZUM's Development Director, says, "These objectives have been 
achieved through a wide variety of programs aimed at Lincoln's Spanish, Native American, 
Vietnamese, African American, blues and jazz-loving communities." 
KZUM: A BRIEF HISTORY 
Though broadcast-inducing action was 
taken in 1973, the station had difficulty gaining 
clearance for transmission of its signal. The air 
of Lincoln was already charged with energy 
from several stations broadcasting 100,000 watt 
signals who didn't want KZUM's new signal 
interfering with them. 
In 1978, KZUM was allowed to slice 
through the air for the first time with ten surg-
ing watts of broadcast power. In 1981, KZUM 
was given the green light to increase its power 
to 1500 watts. Since that glorious day, this 
modest signal has lovingly lavished Lincoln 
and Lancaster County with blues, jazz, and 
cultural music as well as news. 
Elliot Smith, a loyal listener of KZUM 
says, "Though KZUM's signal is occasionally 
difficult to receive, I really enjoy the variety of 
programs offered. It is a pleasant variation 
from the 20-song rotation heard on Lincoln's 
other stations." 
KZUM: MORE THAN MUSIC 
Besides providing Lincoln with music 
and news, KZUM is very active in the commu-
nity. The station organizes jazz and blues festi-
vals annually in Lincoln and provides programs 
like Ventures in Partnership (VIP) and Bright 
Lights. 
VIP began in 1994 with Riley 
Elementary School. KZUM's staff met with 
students and teachers at Riley to craft a radio 
•feature explaining the "Underground Railroad." 
The broadcast feature kept with KZUM's 
mission, "to increase ethnjc and cultural aware-
ness," and it provided for Riley Elementary students ideas of how information is written and 
produced for radio broadcast. 
Bright Lights is a summer class informally called, "Hey, Mom, I'm on the radio!" 
This program gives middle school-aged students a chance to produce their own feature radic 
program. Students select the material and music for their program and "DJ" the show for 
all of Lancaster County to hear. Some graduates of this program develop a lifelong love for 
radio, while others decide that radio is best left to the "pros." 
KZUM: TODAY 
As with any non-profit organization, KZUM's existence relies on two gifts: money 
and time. According to Lezlie Roper, every month more people come into the KZUM 
family through donating these gifts, and KZUM is always ready for more. Roper adds, "W< 
like to help people get experience, and we 
like the help people give us." 
Local businesses, organizations and 
individuals who understand the need for 
this type of programming provide the 
financial support necessary for the station'; 
operation. Though financial donations are 
an important component of the station's 
existence, KZUM's full-time employees 
are quick to point out that without a solid 
base of volunteers the station would not be 
able to function. 
Jon Morris, KZUM's Program 
Director, explains the role of volunteers. 
"They perform duties ranging from basic 
clerical functions to the exciting task of on 
air announcing. We would not be able to 
keep up in the office, and there would be 
no one to go on air, if Lincolnites weren't 
willing to help." 
KZUM: WHAT YOU CAN DO 
If you are tired of what you are hear-
ing on Lincoln's commercial radio station.1 
give KZUM a listen. The station is locate< 
at 89.3 on your FM dial. There's a variety 
of programming so if you don't like what 
you hear, listen at another time. 
If you would like to volunteer at 
KZUM through gifts of money or time, 
don't hesitate to contact Jon Morris at 474 
5086. 
Photo Credit: Nicola Goode 
Stretch (Tim Roth) seems to have a talent for getting himself and best friend 
Spoon (Tupac Shakur) in some tense situations in the Vondie Curtis Hall film 
GRIDLOK'd, a Gramercy Picture release. 
Winnie The Pooh 
and Lincoln Too 
GRTDLOCK'd 
Malachi McNeilus 
News Editor 
Tim Ross (as Stretch) and Tupac 
Shakur (as the cool Spoon) are hilarious, 
frustrated, and often lucky as they race 
through Detroit. On the run from the law, 
the bad guys (D-Ripper), and their drug 
habit, these guys can win no matter what. 
The plot of this movie centers the two 
men struggling through a twisting maze of 
bureaucracy just to get into drug rehab 
and kick their drug habits. Irony runs rich 
throughout the movie. Both Tim Ross and 
Tupac Shakur give excellent performances 
which you should see for yourself. 
What made the movie for me was 
Cee-Cee (Lucy Alexis Liu). Although 
Cee-Cee is peripheral to the central plot, 
her character is stunning, composed, and 
cool as key lyme pie. Cee-Cee shares an 
apartment with Koolaid who sells Stretch 
and Spoon their drugs. Cee-Cee never 
loses her composure, even when Koolaid's 
suppliers violently collect on a debt. The 
movie occasionally lost focus trying to be 
funny. At times the plot was too obvious. 
But Cee-Cee made the show. 
Score Card 
for Qridlock'd 
by Brian Buckle 
Tayna Spilivoy 
A&E Editor 
2/6-16 
Bound 
Mary Riepma Ross Film Theater 
12th and R St. 
2/20-3/2 
Grace of My Heart 
Mary Reipma Ross Film Theater 
12th and R St. 
2/7-3/1 
"The Woven Vessel: New Directions in American Basketry" 
Hayden Gallery 
335 N. 8th St. 
2/7-3/5 
"Watercolor and Oils" by Chuck Novich 
University Place Art Center 
2601 N. 48th St. 
Now through 2/28 
"Visions of New Mexico: PSA Photographers" 
Great Plains Art Collection 
Love Library Rm 205, UNL 
2/8 8 p.m. 
Christian McBride and Joe Lovano 
Two of America's fastest rising jazz stars! 
Lied Center 
2/11 8 p.m. 
KODO 
High energy art: world famous Japanese drummers 
Lied Center 
2/15, 8 p.m. 
Mummenschanz 
A fantastical and magical Swiss mime troupe 
Lied Center 
2/22, 8 p.m. 
Conjunto Cespedes 
Cuban Band blends salsa, jazz, and mambo 
Lied Center 
2/27, 8 p.m. 
Elisa Monte Dance 
Cajun music, storytelling, modern dance 
Lied Center 
2/7-9, 13-16, 20-23 
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest 
based on the novel by Ken Kesey 
Lincoln Community Playhouse 
2500 S. 56th St. 
2/23 7:30 p.m. 
John Scott, Organist and Director of Music at St. Paul's 
Cathedral in London and Professor of Organ at the Royal 
Academy of Music, performs at the First 
Plymouth 
Congregation Church 
2000 D St. 
2/ 13-16,20-23 
Romance Romance 
Take your valentine to see this adventurous musical. 
Huey's Dinner Theatre 
13th and Q St. 
2/21,22,25-28 8 p.m. 
The Imaginary Invalid 
A seventeenth century comic soap opera 
Howell Theatre 
1st floor of the Temple Building, UNL 
12th and R St. 
Lora Hagen 
Reporter 
I slumped down in my seat at the Lincoln 
Community Playhouse and turned to my friend, 
hoping that the woman on my other side wouldn't 
ask me which character was my favorite. I 
would've had to reply "Eeyore" and that is not the 
acceptable answer. As everyone knows, Winnie and 
Tigger are the best. I realized earlier that this 
would be an interesting evening when a little boy 
and his mom came into the bathroom. He was 
loudly humming and half-singing the Winnie-the-
Pooh song. She hunkered him down and 
commented on his wet diaper. She kindly asked, 
"Did you get so excited about seeing Pooh that you 
had an accident?" 
With big owl-like eyes, he nodded his head a 
little and said, "Uh-huh," and continued singing 
"Winnie da Pooh, Winda Pooh, I, I, Winnie Pooh, 
Winndapoh...." 
Meanwhile, in the Children's Theater, legions 
of Pooh-clad, Tigger-embracing children raced to 
their designated seats. As the minute hand ticked 
closer and closer to 12, and the hour hand edged to 
7, kids got excited and waited, none too patiently, 
for the play to begin. 
The lights dimmed slightly, and three women 
appeared on the Pooh set. They were dressed alike 
and sang about going to visit the Hundred Acre 
Woods. Christopher Robin came out and visually 
led the youngsters and assorted adults to the magi-
cal place. 
The 
Brian Ruckle 
Editor 
The first time I attended a contemporary folk 
concert, I was hooked. Since then, I have come to love the 
honest, earthy tunes of artists such as Carrie Newcomer, 
Ellis Paul, Greg Greenway, Dougie MacLean, and Laura 
Love. If you like folk or acoustic music, or think you 
might, it might be worth your time to drive two hours out 
to to Hastings, Nebraska for one of the Listening Room's 
eight concerts during the spring season. The concerts begin 
Finally, the real stars of the show appeared. 
WINNIE AND PIGLET! But they weren't wearing 
what one would call a full-fledged "costume." 
Instead, they were wearing the primary colors asso-
ciated with their character and wire headframes. 
That's right—wire. I was surprised. At first, I 
didn't quite like the frames, but when I noticed all 
the facial expressions that were possible by the use 
of them, I approved. 
The story being told was the episode when 
Kanga and Roo and Tigger come to Hundred-Acre 
Woods. When the other characters first learn of 
their invasion, they are horrified. Gradually, they 
come to accept it. As Eeyore puts it, "The worst is 
yet to come." 
Rabbit's facial expressions were particularly 
amusing, and Piglet, dear sweet Piglet, was so cute. 
One of the members of the Rabbit family squinted 
a lot and put her teeth out a little too much. It was 
rather annoying. But the greatest things to watch 
were the kids in the audience. They got into the 
story so much. These characters were their friends. 
Overall, this production was excellent. The 
actors were comfortable on the stage, and the audi-
ence really interacted well with everyone...espe-
cially the pudgy little guy on the end of our row.. 
When everything was over, he sat in his mom's lap, 
tears streaming down his face. He reached out to 
where he had seen the characters last, and sniffling, 
cried "Pooh! Come back Pooh! Come back!" 
Room 
at 7:30 in the Knights of Pythias masonic lodge in down-
town Hastings, 106 N. Denver. Tickets cost $7 at the door. 
For more information call (402) 463-1029. Celeste Krenz 
will perform Saturday, February 22. Upcoming performers 
include Buddy Mondlock and Carol Elliot, Cheryl Wheeler, 
Martin Sexton, Brooks Williams, Tom Kimmel, Tpm 
Prasada Rao, Michael Lille, and Leslie Smith. 
Listening 
Realism 
D 
Profanity 
F 
Violence 
7 
Moral Value 
F 
Beauty 
D 
Inspiring 
D 
Depth 
D 
Overall 
D* 
around campus 
Reporter 
If 
you 
could 
have 
personally 
witnessed 
one 
event 
in 
history, 
what 
would 
you 
want 
to 
have 
seen? 
Jason Hausherr 
"The event that I would 
most like to witness 
would be Jesus' birth." 
Karlyn Lewis 
"I'm forced to say that I 
would like to see the 
beheading of bloody 
Mary." 
Andreya Nimblett 
"I would like to see the 
assassination of JFK." 
Candy Littrell 
"I'd probably have to say 
the event I would like 
see is Jesus being cruci-
fied on the cross." 
Jeff Naustdal 
"Oh hi!" 
Jessica Larson 
"I would like to be a 
passenger on Noah's 
Ark and then be able to 
see the clean new 
earth." 
Beth Poblette 
"I would have wanted to 
see the holocaust." 
David Scott Wisbey 
"I would have wanted to 
see the Exodus and the 
ten plagues on the 
Egyptians."