And So It Went How it really was.... By LAUREL MCCLELLAND The donkey's slow plodding produced wisps of dust that added to the filth of the dirty city. Its ponderous breathing matched the masked groans of Vol. 68, No.8 EDITOR Sophie Anderson ASSISTANT EDITOR Becky Lane COPY EDITOR Casi Ncsmith NEWS EDITOR Jessica Greer FEATURE EDITOR Unetta Campbell PHOTO EDITOR David Kaiser AD MANAGER Heather M on son SPONSOR Chris Blake PRINTER Sun Newspaper/ Nebraska Printing Center The Clock Tower is a bi-weekly pub- lication of the Union College Associated Student Body. Letters, personals and submissions must be received in the mail or put under the Clock Tower door by noon on the Thursday prior to publication. Editorials are opinions of the Clock Tower. All other opinions expressed are those of the author and must bear his or her name. The Clock Tower reserves the right to edit letters for reasons of space or clarity. its load. Another door, the same answer. No room. As the door started to close, a sharp cry erupted from Mary's lips. Opening it slightly, the innkeeper, prompted by his sympathetic wife and his pock- etbook, motioned reluctantly to the barn down the hill. Thankfully Joseph accepted. The jingle of money followed. She looked for reassurance, another option. Then the couple moved toward their lodgings. The barn door creaked as it opened slowly, mirroring the tired feelings of its soon- to- be occupants. The sudden shaft of evening light illuminated a skittering mouse seeking refuge from the intruders. Mary made a face; the stench of the squalid barn made her already heaving stomach turn at the smell. Turning her ques- tioning face to Joseph, she looked for reassurance, perhaps another option. He shrugged, then led their donkey in. Mary clumsily got off the donkey with Joseph's help, tripping into a pile of manure. Fumbling through their few belongings, Joseph found a cloth to wipe her off, then piled up any clean, stale hay that he could find to make a place for her to sit. Not much was spo- ken. What was the use? A cow shuffled around in its pen, snorting. Could this be? Mary wondered. Would the Savior of the world be born in this? She squinted in the dim light, watching Joseph resolutely attempt to clean up an impos- sible task. A chicken scurried by, eyeing her suspiciously and stirring the hot, stuffy air. Mary gasped. A pain pierced through her, more intense than any she had yet felt. Joseph shot up in alarm, scattering musty straw in his haste. Running to her, he knelt in a pile of soppy hay, his brow creased with concern. Suddenly, he started. Slipping through the muck, he rushed to the barn door. Perhaps the innkeeper's wife could act as a midwife. Mary's urgent cries for him to come quickly dashed all hopes of aid. Following her pain- filled screams, he anxiously obeyed her spurted instructions. Tension racked every muscle in his body as he helplessly watched Mary clawing at the ground in agony. The animals shifted in the bam nervously, their eyes whitening with fear. Minutes were eternity as the Son of God was pushed out of mortal woman. Joseph gaped at the sight of a wriggling, bloody body in his rough, car- penter hands. Severing the umbilical cord, he swabbed the See Story...page 7 DOUG NESMITH "Hey." I have a friend who gets me into a lot of trouble. Actually, most of my friends get me into trouble, but that's a dif- ferent story. My friend taught me how to speak in an Australian accent. It's pretty accurate, too. At least that's what a couple of Australians I used to answer the phone with my phony accent. told me. I used to answer the phone with my phony accent to confuse people and have a good laugh about it later. I never thought that an accent could be useful, though, until my sophomore year. My friend and I had become interested in the new Gotcha guns that shot small paint pellets. As they were just starting to show up in sporting good stores, we had decided to check out the local toy stores to see if we could find and price these new "war machines." We made Target our first stop. Upon entering, we meandered to the correct sec- tion in the store and were unable to find the object of our search. We looked for someone with the familiar red apron on, signifying employee status, but to no avail. Undaunted, we perused the nearby shoe section, found a non-busy worker, and requested assistance. We were refused. "What you want would be in the toy department," the young lady replied. "You are in the shoe section." Well, Duhh. But alas, this abusive treat- ment was not a solitary inci- dent! Each time we made our humble inquiry, we were treated with the same cold indifference as the miss in the shoe section had demonstrat- ed. We left the store in dis- gust, preparing to return to campus empty-handed. Upon reaching the car, my friend remembered that he had forgotten to purchase bat- teries, a staple that he needed desperately. Thus, we were forced to return into the hate- ful establishment of merchan- dise. He had a plan: go Australian. We took off our jackets to change our appearances slightly and reentered the store. Walking straight up to the first section (which just happened to be women's clothing), my friend asked, "Batteries, plize, Ma'am, dygot batteries?" in perfect Aussie. Apparently the sales- lady was not accustomed to being addressed as such, but the pleasure was evident by the slight coloration of her cheeks as she quickly left her station and led us to the far side of the store to the battery section. The two of us kept up a meaningless but accented conversation to keep her con- vinced of our origins. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" she asked. "Well, nighow, we 'ad ben tinking of pechisin' thowse new Gotcha guns, if you got any ina stock," we stam- mered. No problem. She quickly led us to the toy department, and interrupted the manager of the depart- ment to help us. She took us into the back stockroom, behind the store, and asked us to look around because "they might have just come in from the distributer, and not put out on the shelves yet." She looked genuinely concerned and disappointed to find that our search was a failure. Hmmmm. Could this sort of treatment be coming from the same store that had acted so rudely just moments before? It was the same at the cash register. The treatment and politeness that we received was considerably better than that of the people in front of us and behind us. Why did we get better treatment? Are Who would've thought it could be so easy. Target employees or all Americans so affected by the novelty of a cultural speech difference? Who would've thought it could be so easy. All I know is that if you ever go shopping with me, don't be surprised to hear my voice slip back to, "Pahden me, Miss, could I 'ave a bit o' 'elp 'ere?" Doug Nesmith prefers apricot jelly on his peanut butter sandwiches. • OUR COMMITMENT TO QUALITY Because we are committed to quality, the paper will reward $1.00 for the first notice of each spelling (not punctuation, grammar, spacing, improper hyphens, or purposely misspelled words) typo in the Clock Tower that is brought to.the editor's attention. UC students only. Newspaper staff are ineligible. Contact us at 2091 or leave your message in the Clock Tower box in the campus store. OPINIONS The yoke of tradition By JAY WASHAM It is true that tradition often embodies the knowledge of expired ages. Tradition serves to remind us of our heritage. It is also very safe and sure. But tradition is a weight around lite neck of the wise. Tradition serves society well on occa- sion, but it does nothing to lead to greater truth. Tradition stands guilty for persecuting those who pursued truth and defied tradition. Tradition should, at times, be cast off as Tradition is a weight around the neck of the wise. an unnecessary yoke. Throughout history great men have struggled to overthrow the tyranny of tradition. Individuals such as Socrates, Jesus Christ, Galileo, and Nietzsche struggled against tra- ditionally held ideas for the sake of truth. This smuggle against tradition resulted in the execution of Socrates, the cru- cifixion of Jesus, the condem- nation of Galileo, and the extreme psychological isolation of Nietzsche. On a variety of levels, this illustration has been shamefully repeated thousands of times during earth's history. Society is damaged far worse by extinguishing the genius of its most talented members than by any harm that forsaking tra- dition might bring to it. Society is never more vile than when it unjustly crushes oppo- sition for the sake of tradition. Tradition breeds ignorance and provides an excuse to act without personal reflection. Not only does tradition often call for the physical or social removal of thinking individu- als, tradition frequently serves to squelch the curiosity of men and women. For centuries peo- ,ple believed that the earth was the center of the universe. When Gal;,co finally stepped forward to dispel this tradition, he was rejected. Tradition enables people to ease their conscience when they deny the voice truth. To save posterity from this intellectual suffoca- tion, tradition should be devalued. There cannot be a final stop for society in tradition. The shattering of tradition must constantly take place accompa- nied by a quest for truth. If society fails to push itself, there will be truths that remain expressionless. And there is no doubt that truth benefits soci- ety. Right now all of society's intellect and scientific technol- ogy has failed to produce much more than the probable. Society has not reached an end point. Revolutionary break- throughs are still at hand but innovation rarely takes place within the framework of tradi- tion. Tradition does have value and should be treated with some respect, but it should not be immune to critical investiga- tion. Tradition should not act as the governing authority in society. Rather, it should func- tion as a reference, always guiding society toward unreal- ized truth. Tradition too often becomes the god of fools instead of a building block. Tradition should not be consid- ered an end. It is just the most recent resting place for man as he journeys toward truth. • Union questions infamous traditions BY TOM LEATHERMAN Tradition can be good, bad, or just present without affecting many people in obvious fashion. Read on. It's often traditional trying to find something interest- ing to read in a college papei. At Union, we have many tradi- tions, some useful and some con- sidered stupid or useless. The hanging of the Golden Cords is an good annual tradition that gives identity to Union. The annual Christmas tree lighting is also a good tradition. This article, however, will focus on some tra- ditions that aren't so good and some that seem offensive to many Unionites. Many students focus on unap- preciated traditions that are uni- versal to colleges. Union stu- dents do not like the tradition of "dumping homework" during the last full week of each semester. Whether this actually occurs, the impression is that students would like to see the workload spread evenly throughout the semester. Another infamous tradition is the "required" walk to Rees Hall by the men to "pick up" their female companions and then walk back across campus to the church, cafeteria or other location. Some men wonder why the women do not see this as demeaning and why the women do not swing by the men's dorms as they are usu- ally on the way. Some students insisted that the tradition of being Comhusker fans just because of Union's location warrants some serious revision just as other stu- dents do not like to sing the school song or vote in ASB elections. A tradition steadily disliked by engaged men is being taken out to Holmes Lake in the spring and being thrown in just because they are in love. Other traditons that are grimly accepted include the breaking down of Prescott's elevator, grungy bathrooms in the dorms, not enough luandry Try non-traditional Christianity By WAYNE SCHABER Traditions are good, at least most of them. Values long- held are something to be proud of, at least when those values are true to their established purposes. If Christians had forever stuck to tradition, we never would have seen reform in the church. For that matter, our own church, the Seventh- day Adventist Church, would never have been formed. From this we can see that traditions are sometimes better broken when the outcome is a prefer- able for those affected. Picture now the traditional church, or better, the tradition- al church service. The service begins with a little (sometimes long) prayer, a mournful hymn or two, calls for offering, tithe, and healing, and maybe special music or a few pertinent announcements. Next, a pastor steps to the pulpit, drones on for the greater part of 45 min- utes on a selected topic, and sits down. Not much action. Although very nourishing to those in attendance, the service doesn't really shock anyone with Christian values. It does We need to experience the Sabbath as Christ did. shock us with tradition though. Tradition, although it has its place, can sometimes be worn-out, boring, and stuffy. Once in a while we need some zest in our Christian experience. Once in a while we need some concrete action to prove to ourselves and the world that we are Christians, not only in our hearts, but in our daily lives and in the work of our hands also. Once in a while, we need to break away from the traditional "Sabbath Experience" and actu- ally experience the Sabbath, as Christ did. To skip Sabbath School and church and paint an old lady's home, to volunteer time at the City Mission or some other soup kitchen, to help out at Cedar's Home for Children, to visit a home-bound" elderly person during those "hookey" hours from church and Sabbath School— all these activities would heighten our experience of the Sabbath to realms never- before imagined. After all, what did Christ, the non-traditional Jew, really do on the Sabbath? Shouldn't we break from the mold of tradi- tion as He did once in a while. facilities and wet clothes when your dryer stops. Traditions noted by faculty that are of some concern include the serious lack of dating observed. Some faculty see veiy little dating or social interaction of any kind between the women and the men. They regard this as one of the primary reasons why students have no loyalties or incentives to finish their acade- mic programs at Union. It was noted that there has developed a "spectator mentali- ty" among large groups of peo- ple, Union notwithstanding. It would seem that many people are willing to complain or grow frustrated with the status quo but are unwilling to get involved. Some faculty perceive a lack of school spirit that results in part from a failure to immerse ones' self in the total program. These faculty see many other staff and students who do not appear to care about the spiritual, social, academic, or physical opportuni- ties available on this Christian campus. This article developed from just a small list of odd or useless tra- ditions that still occur at Union into a list of two basic ideas. The first group was expressed as triv- ial but obvious enough to wish someone would end them. The second group of traditions was expressed as institutional chal- lenges with the hope that people will evaluate their own opinions and actions to see whether they conform to any of those unde- sired traditions. Is there a conclu- sion in regard to unwanted tradi- tions? That will b<» up to you to decide. •> Where is your focus? Are you losing sight of the true thing you stand for? By MOISHA NELSTEIN I love Hanukkah—the lighting of candles, the games, the pre- sents, the food—I love it all. I suppose I could love it for what it represents. I could love Yahweh for His miracle of keeping the lamps in the temple lit after the rude attack by Antiochus Epiphanes. Yahweh has done so much for the Jews and we have many wonderful celebrations by which to remember Him. However, I prefer to keep all of that to myself and focus primarily on the lighting of the candles, the giving of gifts, the games and the traditional food. Tradition is what I love! I have almost gotten to the place where I can totally forget the meaning and carry out the tradition simply because it is tra- dition. Take, for instance, the Sabbath. I adore the Sabbath! I adore it because there are hundreds of rules that must be thought of as one enters the Sabbath. If you carry a handkerchief, it is con- sidered work, but if the handker- chief is sewn to your garment— hey, it's part of the garment. Editor's note: This viewpoint is not intended to be anti-semetic but to make Christians question their own motives. You can only walk 2/3 mile on Sabbath unless you have buried food. The location of the buried food then becomes your house, and you can go another 2/3 mile to find the next place where you have buried food (next house) and everything works out just fine. Forget spending time with God; these rules nid traditions are a blast. I miss the good old days when you could kill sheep and the priests would do their sacred things and sprinkle blood and atone for sins. That was pretty nifty. But now all that's over and done with. I'm not sure why. I like you Christians too. I like your Christmas. I like the way you can focus on the traditions and lose sight of the one true thing that you supposedly stand for— Christ. I appreciate that because that's what I love. So just let go and focus on the lights, the food, the games, the presents, the tree, the mall, Santa Claus, reindeer, elves, and the Clintons. Maybe some day you too will learn to forget the Christ child and only remember the traditions. Good luck. •> ON CAMPUS Schroeder remembers German traditions By KRISTINE ELVING Real candles on the Christmas tree. Gifts brought by the Christ child. To most of us, these are not traditional images of Christmas. However, to history professor Karl- Heinz Schroeder. who grew up in Germany, these are among the essential characteristics of a Christmas celebration. According to Schroeder, the holiday season begins four weeks befoic Christmas when German families light the first of four candles on the Advent wreath. Then they light one can- dle each week until Christmas Day. Another tradition is the Christmas calendar, which con- sists of little boxes or windows containing chocolates. Children open one window each day of December until Christmas. One of the main differences between American and German Christmas traditions is that in Germany the Christmas tree is decorated on December 24. Schroeder says that the children do not help with this. Instead, the father takes them for a walk in the afternoon while the mother puts up the tree in the living room, which is closed until evening. When the father comes back with the children, the family enjoys a special Christmas Eve meal. Then the parents take the children into the living room, which is filled with the fra- grances of the evergreen tree and of the glowing candles. The children then open the gifts which have been placed under the Christmas tree, not by Santa Claus, but by the Christ child. Finally, in contrast to American traditions, Germans do not celebrate only on December 24 and 25. They also consider December 7 important as the day on which Saint Nicholas brings gifts to good children and rods to bad chil- dren. The holiday extends to December 26. •!• Parchment's canvass: Thisfeels like dying By DOUG COLBURN The Norville Parchment This Feels Like Dying art extravaganza came to The McClelland Art Gallery the other day. I spent a longer time in this art show than I have spent in all other art shows that have been in the McClelland Gallery combined. Between Norvie's superb art and his choices of background music such as Loreena McKennitt he managed to create a totally surreal environment. Norvie displayed more then a dozen paintings and drawings in his art display at the McClelland Gallery. Norvie says, "I try to do things that have not been done before. It is diffi- cult to pinpoint my influences because I try to do new and original works." Norvie's originality is evident in all his art but it is most pronounced in his mirror and glass paintings. A major emphasis of the This Feels Like Dying display was the glass and mirror work with the same name. As I milled about and marvelled at the various pieces of art, Norvie encouraged me to be seated in the chair (hat was placed in front of the acrylic on mirror This Feels Like Dying. "This painting is the whole idea of the show—this feels like dying. Put your face in the mirror," Norvie says with a smile. After looking for as long as I can in the mirror, I turn to the other paint- ings and listen in to what other peo- ple have to say about this unique array of talent..."! really like how you Norvie Parchment looks out from his painting This feels like dying. have to read into it. This art shows a lot of emotion." says Angie Barko as she fidgets with her mittens. Doug Hardt says, "It really makes you think. The art is not just scenery; it expresses imagery. It probably reflects what Norv is thinking." I see many people looking at and commenting about the painting enti- tled The Ninth World. I would have to say that of all Norvie's work this is one of my favorite. The painting currently includes three separate pan- els with a variety of images and moon, Sinead O'Connor, and strange creatures all make up this multi- layered painting. "This has been a painting that has taken shape over a long time." says Norvie. "I plan to add two more panels. Come back and see it in the spring!" Kenneth Dick sums up the tone of Norvie's art collection, "It was very deep and inspirational. It made me think about the other side of life." And so Norville Parchment's art show comes to an end for this fall, but wait until spring—he is having another one.- • shapes portrayed. Buildings, a Check out other artists original art displays in the McClelland Art Gallery. ESL program makes rave reviews ESL...from page 1 gram is very good. I want to come back when I am 18" she says. "It's nice to see them progress Ancient Culver manuscript discovered By HUGH BARLOW There was an ancient manuscript found in the dark recesses of Culver Hall recently. Culver scholars have attempted to decipher what has been written on the decayed pages of what appears to be a diary or log of some sort. What has been deciphered to date fol- lows: "Castle Culver stands defiant in the wind. The winter advances like a wary enemy; yet all reside in warmth inside. King Joseph is once again conducting business elsewhere and the denizens of the edifice reside in somewhat peaceful tranquility. Sir Marty the listless, Sir Evan the brash, and I: Sir Hugh i!ic peculiar, Knights in Rusty Annor of the Long Table, reside peacefully in the halls of our home. The moat of Culver Castle has shriveled with the approach of winter. Yet we feel safe in the knowledge that no force could withstand a long siege outside the towering walls. We are well pro- visioned. Wizard Drew, the Arch-Magician Aaron, and the Sorcerer Thomas of Reynolds are busy in their rooms conjuring electric magic. Occasionally the good magician Michael comes to assist them. Chuque, the Electronic Bard, regales his fellow residents with song; not all care for it. Others vie for his title. The Court Jester, Thomas of Ingram, amuses all with his knife and fire tricks. He is the lone Jester, since his com- panions in frivolity (Billy of Nelson and Shan of Thayer) left us for the next world (may they rest in peace). Dan sits in silent, self-imposed, solitary isolation. He misses Jester Billy. The Friars Juhl, Daughenbaugh, and Rimer keep a wary eye on the citizens of our little band. They make sure we follow the laws of our society, provide us with spiritual guidance and with counsel (when needed). Some of our old companions have left us. They have been replaced by new residents. These new residents fight for their place in our little community: Long Stephen has joined us as Squire. The Lords and Ladies of our Court pro- vide the romance within the halls. Lord Roger and Lady Jennifer and Lord James and Lady Melinda have been found in pri- vate trysts in sundry places. Wilson the Falconer lives in his room with his birds of prey. He longs for quiet, clear days so he can put his birds to flight. The Beast-master Ty burns incense in the dark confines of his room. Strange sounds have been heard coming from thither. Fcv dare venture forth to peek within. Justin the Baker and David the Cook wake early to feed this motley crew. We are grateful for their skills. Chad the Night Watchman keeps vigilant watch throughout the night. Tim and John (the keepers of the Crystal Ball) keep us informed of the goings on in the outside world while Chris of Reynolds keeps the dungeon's rodents. The Sage Romeo is wise. He watches all and remains silent. One wonders what thoughts he thinks. The insane Highland Scott giant, William of the clan of Stuart, came to visit. He told us seemingly pointless stories about...." The document can no longer be deciphered at this point. We have no real clue as to the purpose of this document, but more may follow in the future as it is pieced together. •!• from not knowing a word of English when they come," says Reile "to having a good under- standing of it and speaking it well when they are through the pro- gram." Flaska feels very close to the ESL students. "They're like my own children...it's like a fam- ily and I feel like their Mom," she says. LAST CHANCE!! UNION COLLEGE STUDENTS WANTED! GLACIER VIEW RANCH in the beautiful Colorado mountains. STAFF MUST BE HIRED BY DECEMBER 25! HAVE A SUMMER YOU'LL NEVER FORGET! May 29-August 11 Contact Pastor Ron Whitehead, Glacier View Ranch, 2520 S. Downing, Denver, CO 80210(303) 733-3771 Get applications in Campus Ministries. *l*Even if Glacier View's not for you, we hope you'll find the summer camp experience somewhere in your future! FEATURE Rituals weave quilt of life By DAINA GREEN Familiar rituals, traditions, are the thread that weaves together the patchwork quilt of life. From the small traditions and the big ones we receive our identity, our heritage, and our foundation. The small rituals of day to day existence, like eating out every Tuesday with friends or having worship with the family every Friday evening, give us the stability that we all need. Anyone who has ever been What's a pinch for 150 people? far from home during a major holiday knows the sense of loss and isolation that comes from being separated from the stabil- ity and familiarity of traditions. I discovered that Thanksgiving outside the U.S. just isn't the same, no matter how much food you eat. At Collonges (France) the administration tried to give us, the American students, that at-home feeling by having us make a Thnnksgiving supper for the rest of the school. It was a nice idea. As I contemplated a vat of stuffing that cold, gray November day, lost in unfamil- iar territory (an industrial- sized kitchen), my friend was pon- dering a recipe for pumpkin pie that someone's mother had gen- erously faxed us. She looked up from the recipe, her brows drawn together into one straight line of puzzlement and asked, "What's a 'pinch' for 150 peo- ple?" Being the master chef that I am, I said, "Oh I don't know. Maybe two heaping handfuls?" In spite of my culinary skills we were able to serve those ISO people our American-style pota- toes, pies, corn, and stuffing with a tired but stubborn pride. Our Collonges Thanksgiving, though better than nothing, didn't make us feel at home. In fact, it intensified our feelings of loss and isolation. We were deprived of the rituals and tra- ditions that were a part of us, of who we were. The other stu- dents ate our food because it was supper, not because they were celebrating with us. That day, as on Christmas, we were strangers in a strange land and we knew it. Fortunately, this year I'm at home and can surround myself with the traditions of my family and country and take comfort in the little things, like a patch- workquilt. •> The demise of a legacy By CRAIG HAGELGANTZ Caroling. Feet frozen by the snow that had inched its way into my boots. Polychromatic lights dancing on the roofs of neighboring houses mirrored by the virgin snow. I burrowed between my parents to keep warm as I sang freely the words I remembered. This was a time when I felt secure. No, more than that. This was one of the few times that I have ever felt genuinely content. Now it only remains in the fondness of my memories. It was like the excitement of opening that first gift on Christmas morning or the awe of lighting the tree for the very first time. Such simple pleasures are now becoming endangered in my life.The Christmas tradi- tions that were once the expect- ed are now the exception. Why is that? What invades our lives and causes the preven- tion of good feelings like con- tentment and security? At risk of sounding cliche, I believe it's society's fault. Society has put such a high demand on striving for some- thing different, something better, that being content is detrimental. It's not going to happen any- more. Whatever society says, this year, I am going to change the practices of my family. Instead of reminiscing about the good memories of yesteryear, we will be creating some new ones. I am going to create an opportunity in which I can bur- row between my parents once more and feel content as I sing the now familiar carols. Feliz Navidad! • When there's nothing else to listen to... Lee Bowes and Drew Hickman play DJ for the long Unionaires bus trips. Holiday traditions change from culture to culture World...from page 1 Take for example the Australian Christmas which is in the summer. Christmas activities might include waterskiing, surfing or just having fun in the sea. You may also find the Christmas in the Bahamas quite different. In the Bahamas the traditional foods found on the tables of Americans on Christmas and water activities found in Australia are pre- sent; however, we also have a unique parade. This parade is filled with music and dance and is known as Junkanoo. Large costumes made out of crape paper, glitter, paints, card- board, wood and numerous other art materials are paraded down the street of the town moving rhythmically to the sounds produced by the goat skin drums, cow bells and horns. Dancing and music arc also a part of the celebration of Christmas. Besides the singing, dancing and music, some cultures observe very different customs. In Mexico there are many tradi- tions that differ drastically from any other culture that I have found so far. Gifts are not exchanged on Christmas Day, but they are exchanged on January 6 in celebra- tion of the time wisemen gave gifts to the Baby Jesus. I have a hard enough time waiting for Christmas Day to see what Santa has brought for me. Instead of eating turkey on Christmas Day, Mexicans eat at midnight on Christmas Eve. Two of the traditional entrees are tamolies and moles. The entire city is deco- rated with lights for this holiday. Even though some of these cul- tures observe slightly different tradi- tions and customs, they all realize what the Reason for the Season is all about. In each Christian's heart, he remembers that this is the time we celebrate the birth of a King. • Union Scholars offers a better way. It's a new honors program that opens doors to graduate schools, internships and the bottom line—a good career. And until the future arrives, you'll know you are using your full potential. Thaf s satisfying. Call Professor Schroeder at x2324 and ask about Union Scholars. A little sweat now could save you a lot of freezing in the future. Union College CRUISE SHIP JOBS! Students needed! Earn $2000+ monthly. Summer/holidays/fulltime. World travel. Caribbean, Hawaii, Europe, Mexico. Tour Guides, Gift Shop Sales. Deck Hands, Restaurant Workers, etc. No experience necessary. CALL 602-680-4647, Ext. CI47. 6 Tuesday, December 14,1993 AKTS&ENTERIAINMENT The Clock Tower n uper t. The Poetry Contest, deadline for the Contest The National Library of Poetry has announced that $12,000 in prizes will be awarded this year to over 250poets in the North American Open try Cc nefoi is Dec. 31,1993. Entry free. To enter, send ONE original poem any sub- ject and style to The National Library of Poetry, 11419 Cronridge Dr., P.O. Box 704-ZT, Owings Mills, MD 21117. The poem should be no more than 20 lines, and the poet's name and address should appear on the top of the page. Entries must be post- marked by Dec. 31,1993. Leatherman's TOP TEN Things That Would Change At Union If Doug Hardt, Doug Nesmith, Tom Hinde, and Tom Leatherman Were In Charge 10.Juggling with fire a required P.E. credit. 9. Hammocks strung up in every classroom. 8. Ingredients in the deli made public by official decree. 7. Our new job titles: Dougy, Dougster, Hindo, and Grand Admiral. 6. Library fines and parking fines quadrupled to help pay for renovating my new apartment atop the Dick Building. 5. Joe Parmele would get a well-deserved 50% pay increase. 4. Doug Hardt would slip up and occasionally refers to himself as "Coach," while Doug Nesmith would debate which color the new storm and hail-resistant vinyl siding should be for each building on campus. 3.The school vans would be replaced with big, luxurious Lincoln Town cars. 2.Tom Hinde would seal up the cafeteria and fill the entire lower level of Culver Hall with water and plant life in an attempt to re-create a Little Minnesota; however, students would prefer calling the new resort "Our Kansas Paradise." 1. Parking anywhere anytime except in areas designated as Reserved For the Dougs and Toms. By CHRISTIAN STUART I get really angry when someone tells me that the "grass is always greener on the other side." 1 usually tell them to go and hop the fence then, but I don't tell them that the fence is electrical. A lot of people don't realize the controllable personality of dry . creal. If you tear the cereal box open in a violent spasm, the cereal will get either angry or scared and it will be soggy by the time you finish pouring the milk. But if you tenderly open the box and gently pour the cereal into your bowl, it will stay crunchy as long as you want it to. 1 really appreciate the airlines that give out peanuts as the mid- flight snack. With all that protein, 1 leave the plane feeling natural- ly refreshed. Way to go, guys! I bet the Beatles were really four unlucky elves that Santa decided to give a break one Christmas. • Country—WHy> By DOUGLAS COLBURN I really can't believe that I own a country album, let alone that I'm publicizing the fact. But the reality of it is that country music is changing. It used to be all you had to do was lose your wife, drink a beer, and twang a guitar, and you would have all the major components of a good country song. Thankfully, this is no longer true. Still, country artists must con- vince me that their music is wor- thy of joining my album collec- tion before I will purchase. I don't just buy any album that pops up on the market. I have to be able to turn the CD player on in a year and still feel good when I listen to the album. Tell Me Why is one of these albums. Tell Me Why is an album filled with 10 songs with clean lyrics and some sad tunes and some happy. Its running time is 37 minutes and 52 seconds. 1 would say that Wynonna has found the "new" country sound that so many artists (and consumers) are striving for. So if you are still like 1 used to be and think that country is just a twang thing, you'd better give it another chance and start with Wynonna. The first song I heard off this album was Only Love which has been on the radio for quite some time now. This ballad is one of the better song off the album. The second song I heard was Father Son which was even bet- ter then the first! After hearing the title track Tell Me Why I was sold. Tell Me Why just has that happy country kick that Wynonna so amply gives to her newest album. There was one major surprise about this album-it has a reli- gious Christmas song on it. I really wasn't expecting to hear a song about Jesus and John the Baptist when I read the title Let's Make A Baby King, but I was pleasantly pleased. It is nice'to see that secular artists do have a concept of spirituality about them. It is even better to see it mixed in with their other more secular works. From a touch of the blues to a taste of the southern rhythm, this album has it. I like it. I don't know who started it, but country music is sure evolv- ing! Many songs now have a subtle blues or soft-rock over- tone but still seem to maintain that flowing Graceland music hospitality. Enough of justifying my transition to a more univer- sal music taste. Give the "new" country a try sometime. • Letter from Japan Dear friends, Ack! I'm in poverty and I have no one to blame but my out-of-control self! Guess where all of my yen has gone?! Yep, a certain someone right there on your campus. A Mr. Doogendorf? Do you know him? Help! It's the telephone bill—will they accept my cooking as a substi- tute? No? I'll be deported instead? Get me on that flight-Shayne, I'm comin' home! Just kidding! Sorry. Instead I'll starve and live blissfully in love. Right. I need food! OK. The only real truth to this let- ter is that I am destitute because of my phonebill. But, that will not hin- der me from attempting to get in touch with those that took time out to give an "American hello" and slap on the back for encourage- ment. Thank you and also con- gratulations to all of the 65 engaged couples on campus-my best and warmest wishes to all of you! Thank you: Ginger Wipf, "Snatcheroo" Sara, Jennifer Pettijohn, David-Shayne's-a -jerk- Dick, Jay-oops-what-was-I-think- ing?-Washam, Carla-my-Ioyal-let- ter-writer-Andersen, Dr. Kerbs, Mrs. McClelland, Tiffany and Jason, Tammy Caldwell, Heather Finch, and last—but certainly not least—Shayne Daughenbaugh. I know there's more but Sophie does- n't have enough space, and I don't have any more paper! I'm surviving in the land of no more rice and excessive rainfall quite well, but I miss all of you very much. Kari and I are afraid that we're going to go hysterically insane when we return to the States. You are going to be foreigners to us! Imagine that for a moment (No. Not us being hyster- ically insane-although that will look rather amusing.) Thank you for remembering us. You all will be in my prayers during the holiday sea- son and thereafter. God bless! Much Love, Jennifer. Merry Christmas SMs and Task Force workers! W e miss vou! Campus Paperback Bestsellers 1. The Day* An Just Packed, by BlWatleison. (Andrews & McMeel, $12.95.) Mote "CaMn and Bobbes" canoona. 2. The Age Ot Innocence, by Edith Wharton. (Coker/Macmitan. S5.9S.) New York society Me in the lata 19th century. J. The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan. (Ivy, $5.99.) Destinies ot Chinese immigrant women and their Chinese-American daughters. 4. The Pelican Brief, by John Gnsham. (Dell. $6.99.) Law student finds herself on the njn from killers of two Supreme Court justices. 5. Rising Sun, by Michael Cnchton.(BaIantine.S6.99.) Fierce industrial intrigue between Amencan and Japanese rivals. 6. The Tale Ot The Body Thief, by Anne Rice. (Balantine. $699.) The saga ol vampire Lestat continues. 7. The Secret History, by Oonna TartL (Ivy. $6.99.) New England college is the setting lor shocking rituals and gruesome murder. 8. The Way Things Ought To Be, by Rush Limbaugh. (Pocket Star, $6SO.) Controversial issues - that's limbaugh territory. Bif. m0 »fmtm mmi i» *EXTRA INCOME '93* Earn $200 - $500 weekly mailing 1993 travel brochures. For more information send a self-addressed stamped envelope to: Travel Inc. P.O. Box 2530, Miami, FL 33261 9. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, by Maya Angelou. (Bantam. $4.99.) CNIdhood and adolescence in the depression-eta South. 10. Seven Habits ol Highly Effective People, by Steven R. Covey. (Fireside, $9.95.) Guide to personal lulBlmenL New G Recommended Charlie Chan Is Deed, Jessica Hagedom, Ed.. (Penguin $14.00.) Major anthology ol Asian American fiction. The stones sweep across the 20th century and across the range ol Asian American experience. Mostly Harmless, by Douglas Adams. (Ballanline. $12.00.) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Part Five: The book that gives a whole new meaning to the word "trilog/. Book, by Robert Grudin. (Penguin, $10.00.) Highwire act ol a novel that folows a zany cast ol characters through a madcap plot while satirizing academia, book publishing, literary lorms.. .and art itseH. ASSOCIATION OF UKNCM PMUMMMATIOMAI. AMOOATOM W COOIOC (TOMS Family Dermatology Elliot L. Rustad, M.D. Specialized treatment of all skin and scalp disorders. Complimentary medications for acne patients. Evening hours. Convenient location. 3901 Normal Blvd. Lincoln, NE. Call 483-7806. LIFE STYLE with the Lanes By Becky and Brent Lane Becky: This is going to be a warm fuzzy Christmas article. An enduring piece of literary magnificence. A trip down memory lane. Brent and 1 are going to share with you some of our family's dearest holiday traditions. Brent: Do we have to? This could endanger our already precarious rep- utation as normal citizens. I think our traditions are sort of a Minnesota thing, or maybe a Norwegian thing. Becky: As I was saying, we're going to give you a rare glimpse of Christmas at the Lanes'. As we write, we're sitting here in the warmth of a glowing fire... Brent: Uh, Becky? Becky: What? Brent: That's not a fire. It's a Hewlett Packard computer. We're in the Microlab. Becky: Well, OK. We're sitting here in the electromagnetic warmth of a glow- ing computer remembering our blissful childhood. Take a minute to join us. Forget about organic chemistry equa- tions and syllogistic logic. Close your nursing fundamentals book. Lay aside your accounting notes... Brent: Becky, leave them alone. I don't want to be responsible for any- one failing an important test because.... Becky: . . . and throw those biology flashcards to the wind! Come with us on a journey. Peer into your past and explore the magical spirit of Christmas. Delve deep into the mysterious time-honored traditions that bind our culture together in a... Brent: Are you finished yet? Becky: Almost. Brent: Why don't you just tell them the truth? Becky: That's what we're doing now. You and I. We're going to tell them about Christmas in Minnesota. Brent: No, I mean the truth about your little problem. Becky: My what? Brent: Your problem. Your sickness. Your obsession. Becky: What are you talking about? Brent: You're a Christmas addict. Becky: I am not. Brent: It's obvious. Becky: What'sobvious? Brent: Come on now, the first step to recovery is to admit your sickness. Becky: Everyone likes Christmas. I'm not sick. Brent: You will be if you eat all the candy canes off the tree like you did last year. Becky: That wasn't me. I don't even like candy canes. Everyone has candy canes. They're boring. Brent: Now you sound like Scrooge. And nothing's wrong with candy canes. At least they're normal. Becky: Are you saying that my ( iiristmas traditions aren't nonnal? Brent: Nothing in our house is nor- mal at Christmas time. Becky: Everyone in our house is crazy except you? You'll be sitting out in the cold if Santa Claus hears you talking like that Brent: You really need to start deal- ing with your obsession. Singing "Deck the Halls'' in July is not social- ly acceptable. Becky: Everyone has done that before. You like Christmas too. You used to open your presents early and wrap them back up like nothing ever happened Brent: Everyone's done that before, too. Besides, I was only four. At least I opened my presents. You saved your presents until Easter one year so you could have something to open every week. Is that normal? Becky: That was over ten years ago. I was just a kid. Brent: It was more like four years ago, but that's not the point You're a lot older now, and you aren't grow- ing out of this abnormal Christmas obsession. You still get a Christmas stocking from Santa. Becky: So do you. Brent: I'm younger. Becky: Maybe that explains why you like to go snowmobiling in your underwear. Brent: There you go, exaggerating as usual. 1 wasn't snowmobiling; I was playing snow football with the dog. And it wasn't my underwear; I was wearing swimming trunks. Becky: Swimming in a snowbank at Christmastime? That's certainly a nor- mal ritual. See, you're just as strange as the rest of us. Why are you hying so hard to prove that our family traditions aren't normal? Brent: Well, it's embarrassing when my friends find out that we put a Christmas tree in the bathroom. And in the kitchen. And everywhere else. We had seven Christmas trees one year. Who wants to look at a Christmas tree while they're taking a shower? Besides, that outlet in the shower for the lights seemed a bit dangerous. Becky: And what about the tree in your bedroom? Brent: That's my private business. Becky: And shall we tell everyone what you put on your tree? Brent: Just normal things. Lights and stuff. Becky: And stuff? Brent: OK, and football cards. I hang football cards on my tree. You can't expect me to be perfectly nor- mal in such a bizarre home. Becky: Not everything is bizaire. We have green and red cookies and vege-turkey and Christmas music. And we always go caroling. Brent: Becky, I've got to tell you something. Most people go caroling to people, not cows. Becky: But we don't have any neigh- bors. Besides, I think it's nice to sing for the animals on Christmas Eve. The cows appreciate it. Last year, one of the heifers gave me wool socks for Christmas, and the bull gave me a cam- era. Brent: Fine, just tell the whole world that our family gets Christinas pre- sents from the cows (and the horses and the dogs and the barnyard tompten— it's a Norwegian thing, don't ask). Anything else you want to add? Why don't you tell them about the gingerbread men that Mom has been storing in the basement for eight years? And the Christmas decora- tions that stay up until Ground Hog's Day? And remember the time when Dad nearly fell off the roof while pre- tending to be Santa's reindeer? Becky: See, we're not so strange after all. Brent: Hey, and we could tell them about our annual igloo sleepout- Becky: Or maybe we could just tell them Merry Christmas. Brent: Merry Christmas. •> ...How it could have been From Story...page 2 Baby with whatever clean cloth he could find. Mary lay in a depleted heap, stretching out her shaky hands to hold the Promise of the world. Raising her weary but wondering eyes to his squalling, kicking body, she was struck with the awe of the moment. It was nothing like what she expected. Here was the long- awaited Messiah gustily screaming in a dingy barn, with no one to pay homage to Him but a few lowly beasts. Was this any greeting for the anival of the King? Too exhausted to struggle any more, Mary quieted her thoughts, allowing Joseph to wrap God's Love in the ripped shreds of a ragged garment and place Him in a crude feeding trough. No welcome, no home, no security. Nothing reflecting the One Who would give all this and more to humanity. Yet He did. Praise Him for Christmas! •> TEACHERS NEEDED Spend a Year Teaching Conversational English This could be one of the most rewarding years of your life. Opportunities are now open for qualified graduates or non-graduates to teach in CHINA and RUSSIA For more information contact: Dr. M.T. Bascom or Treva Burgess General Conference of SDA International Teacher Service 12501 Old Columbia Pike Silver Spring, MD 20904 Phone: (301) 680-6028 Fax: (301) 680-6031 SPORTS ft ^ WESLEY PHIPATANAKUL TRAVIS SAGER Sports Editors EDITORIAL Once again, it's time for anoth- er one of my controversial sports editorials. There's so much going on in the world of foot- ball, that I've been hoarse from all the debates I've gotten into over different issues. First, I'd like to start with the Minnesota Vikings. I did have to swallow my words when they beat Denver, but let's face it Viking fans, your team stinks. After a big win at Denver, what did they do, but turn around and lose to Tampa Bay and New Orleans. The funny thing is that the Vikings still have a shot at winning the division. It won't happen. At least Minnesota has a football team, which is more than St. Louis can brag about. Green Bay and the upstart Chicago Bears, who are cur- rently playing the best defense in the NFL, will battle it out for the NFC Central crown. And how about those Bears, who not only are playing great defense, but are scoring more points from their defense than offense. It looks like the Bears will win the divi- sion. I've heard that if Green Bay didn't have Brett Favre, they would be a great team. But the point is they do have Brett Favre. Also, San Francisco has been playing the best football in the NFL. If the playoffs began today the 49ers would win it all. However, the playoffs don't begin today so don't forget the Cowbows. Look for a classic Dallas- San Francisco rematch in the NFC Championship game. It will be a dandy. Those two are definitely the class of the NFC. On the other hand, who knows who will win the AFC title. Buffalo is fading. Miami con- tinues to win without Dan Marino or Scott Mitchell. Kansas City looks terrific every time Joe Montana plays. The hottest team in the AFC is the Houston Oilers. Don't forget the Broncos with John Elway's history of excelling in the AFC playoffs, fhe Super Bowl is a different story. 1 can see anyone of these teams making the Super Bowl, so the AFC is a total toss- up. However, too many people are overlooking the Buffalo Bills who seem to kick it up a notch come playoff time. Miami should not make it with a 39 year old quarterback,Joe Montana will get hurt during the playoffs, Houston has a long history of choking in the play- offs, and I don't see Denver winning the AFC title on the road. I still stick with Buffalo as my pick. In college football, the contro- versy is very close to Union College, as the currently #1 ranked football team is down the street at UNL. However, we all know the true #1 is in Florida State, but too many people are not giving the Cornhuskers cred- it. That Oklahoma- Nebraska Tumi Gnedc Dallas Purkeypile and Doug Hardt on the court against Manhattan Varsity's world travels continue University Parte, Iowa—Since our last issue, the Union College men's basketball team has played 2 more games, both on the road. This makes it four straight road games for the team. However, happier times are on the way, as Union plays 2 straight home games before the semester ends. By the time this issue comes out, Union will have already played Manhatten last Tuesday, but there is a game on Monday December 13 for Both Teams right here in the UC Thunderdome. I know it's during finals week, and we will all be busy, but it sounds like the perfect study break to me, so come on down if you have time. On November 23, Union played Grace Bible College and were beat soundly 88- 76. Perhaps the guys had their minds on a terrific Thanksgiving dinner than on the game, and who can blame them. Randy Reinke, Doug Hardt, Jamie Wasemiller, and Dallas Purkeypile all scored in double figures. It's good to see a nice balance of scoring. Another bright spot was the fact that the team had only 9 turnovers. The big problem was Union had only 7 assists. This past weekend was a marathon basketball fest for team members. The team left for Iowa at 2:30 pm on Friday afternoon, got back at 3:00 am on Sunday morning, then at 9:15 am, swam with children of battered spouses till 12:30 pm, then had a 1/2 hour practice at 1:15pm. That shows the great dedication that basket- ball players put into the basketball program. The team won their second game of the year against Venard 77- 65 once again led by a total team effort. Jamie Wasemiller pulled down an impressive 12 rebounds, Randy Reinke led with 21 pts, assisted by Doug Hardt's 10 pts, Ryan Reinke's 10, and Hans Widicker's 9 pts. Union led most of the game, but survived a late rally to win. W L Road Record 1 3 Home Record 1 0 Overall Record 2 3 Volleyball days are all tied up UC Thunderdome—The Welch's Juiciers under the leadership of Paul Welch were 'pressed' out of the 4-person v-ball league because of their attendance, or lack thereof. This allowed many teams easy victories. The regular season indeed came down to the last night. Ron's Cons, Campbell's Soups, Ivyless Poison, and DaBohls were in a fierce run for first place. The events of the season should be explained so that all understand the rankings. Ron's Cons and Ivyless Poison ended in a tie for first, but since the Cons had defeated the Poisons 2-1 earlier in the year, they finish 1st. DaBohls and Campbell's Soups ended in a tie also. Since DaBohls beat the Soups 2-1 they get the #3 nod. The rest of the rankings are as follows: Six mail/woman teams ready for tournaments EditoriaL..continued game was a total blast. Jure, I lost my hat in the post-game riot and was almost trampeled, but getting up on the goalpost made it all worth the while. I'll say it till I am blue in the face: Nebraska has a chance to win the Orange Bowl. A very tiny chance, but they can win that game. I've seen enough football to know that all kinds of crazy things can happen in one game. If they didn't have a chance to win, then why play the game? The teams with the most talent don't deserve the National Championship just because they have the best players. They have to go out and win it on the field. It's the upsets that make sports so great. The unexpected upset is what brings us back. Ask North Carolina State in 1983, ask UNLV why they never won a title with Larry Johnson, Stacey Augmon and company, and ask Alabama in last year's Sugar Bowl. You can say what you want about Nebraska's recent bowl history, but they have a very good foot- ball team this year. Well, that's all for now. Next issue we will know if these words rang true. • UC Thunderdome—Once again your intrepid sportswriters had a very difficult time. (And it wasn't learning how to tie our shoes) The two top teams were nearly even and we (I) had a tough time deciding who would be the #1 team in our poll this time. We looked at many factors, but the decision ultimately came down to head-to-head competition. In this, Tucker's CVA boys held a 4-edge over Team Consignado, so we give the nod to Tucker. Perhaps one reason for the rise of Tucker's team is the decision of Terry Bock to come out of retire- ment. The #1 ranking for the tournament goes to Ron because of a better overall record (He played more games.) Basically in both the Men's 6 and 4-person the Championship will come down to the tournament. In Women's 6-person, we find our third close call for #1. Do I find this a coincidence? Not anymore. Because of the new free- agency rule many teams are competing for #1. Jeanne McWilliams and Cheri Wehling are in a cat- fight for the top spot. Once again we will have to wait for the season ending tournaments to find out who gets the coveted intran.jr- al champion t-shirt.*> # Team Team# Games Matches 1 Ron's Cons 4 20-4 7-1 2 Ivyless Poison 5 20-4 7-1 3 DaBohls 9 22-5 7-1 4 Campbell's Soups 2 22-5 8-1 5 Soap Sudds 1 14-13 54 6 Lover's Lane 11 11-13 3-5 7 Merlin's Magic 3 10-14 2-6 8 Hedge Hodges 8 8-16 3-5 9 sPIKEs 7 7-20 2-7 10 5 Cent Pieces 6 1-23 0-8 11 Welch's Juicers Squeezed From League MEN'S Rank Captain Team# Games Matches 1 Tucker Fredrickson 5 14-4 5-1 2 Ron Consignado 2 20-4 7-1 3 Sheldon Blood 4 14-7 5-3 4 Jeremy Reiswig 3 3-15 0-6 5 Greg Gryte 1 0-15 0-5 WOMEN'S Rank Captain Team# Games 1 Jeanne McWilliams 3 .13-2 2 Cheri Wehling 1 13-2 3 Kelly Schebo 5 10-5 4 KariFurne 4 5-10 5 BrendaReed 2 2-13 6 Janelle Wolfe 6 2-13