abner fuentes guest writer It began innocently enough—sure, it was pretty, but no one had any idea what was kin store when the first few flakes began to fall Saturday, October 25. Granted it is unusual to get snowfall so early in the year, but it was not supposed to amount to much The snow was coming down pretty aggressively by the time the modest showing at ASB's barn party began to break up. Still, not too many students seemed concerned and most continued with their post-barn party plans. The first signs that this was to be an unusual storm came by way of rumblings of thunder and brief flashes of lightning. Most at this point were perplexed but not too worried The storm intensified shortly before curfew and climaxed with an awesome .display of brilliant colors when lightning struck about thirty [electrical transformers, shoving at least forty percent of Lincoln into complete darkness. Computer terminals and televisions [flashes brightly, glowed eerily, then fell unrecognisable into the surrounding darkness. Concern began to set in. Depending on whom one asks the power outage occurred |somewhere between 12:30 a.m and 1:30 ajn. (it would be safe to assume that the end of daylight-savings time sched- uled for that night has something to do with the difference). For the most part, the lack of power did not seem to affect Itoo many people. At least for the first night On Sunday though students awoke to a campus levelled by the combina- tion of tree leaves and heavy, wet snow. Fallen tree limbs pep- pered the college campus. Students reactions ranged from, "It [the campus] is so trashed" to "it is so sad" to "I feel so bad for the trees." Perhaps Dr. Friedline summed up the irony best when he said "Usually fall is marked by the falling of the leaves, not the falling of the trees." This fall has certainly exceeded expectations. By Sunday afternoon, most students were going stir-craey. Some like Junior Dan Rickard took it in stride, threw on an extra blanket Wand "used the opportunity to procrastinate on homework." Upon fur- ther reflection Dan added "I hope Dr. Novack isn't reading this." Well, no romises, Dan. Some other students stretched their creativity to the limits. Whitney Tate and a group of friends, after huddling around the televisions at split up into two teams, picked out fifteen items, exchanged carts and raced to be the first team to replace the items." . _ . jump to Storm" page 3 news October 26, 1997 by eduardo molla ^ guest writer A terrible storm is bombarding the trees out- side, tossing limbs and branches that obstruct traf- fic and make the Taco Bell drive-thru downright impossible. People outside are scurrying every- where padded like football players. I had just returned to my room from a fun-filled night of TV screen watching, when suddenly with- out warning, the lights went out. I_don't know what time it is right now because of this gross weather catastrophe that has ravaged our little Nebraskan campus. Some of the stranded souls huddling bravely in chairs and warming their hands on the last flickering candle they own say it's close to 2:00 a.m. Actually, daylight savings time makes it 1:00 a.m. Luckily for the deans, the mountains of white stuff won't let me frolic for that extra hour I had been plan- ning to take advantage of. Anyway, I"m writing this by candlelight and I can't help but feel like I should be using a big, feathered quill pen. I feel like a William Miller-type, 1800's writer, minus the inspiration .and the bushy sideburns. Is this Minnesota? Will I have to eat my suitemate in a desperate attempt to survive this monster bliz- zard? Ivan is a big boy, but I'm having a hard time imagining a slab of his beautiful girth on my plate. This reminds me of that movie "Alive." You know, the one about that planeful of soccer players from Uruguay who ate their dead friends when they crashed in the Andes. Yep, this is gross. Almost as gross as my soggy-wet shoe-stained socks. I'm hungry. I'm glad the Lord has blessed me with extra adipose tissue form which my body will have to survive for the next few days. Never been so glad to be the pudge-meister. Wish I were a camel. Now I want to describe the smell of my last few hours of earth. Hmmm.... I'd say a good whiff of Ivan's old double-decker taco, Raf's hump of dirty laundry, my soggy Afro-Machine hat and candle wax. Why must I perish to these awful oderiferous omitations? (Sound like a RightGuard commercial?) Fudge and Zach just walked in. Fudge (Chris Brown) just said that if the heat doesn't get turned on quick, he's gonna wake up a fudgesicle. The thought sends chills up my spine. No pun intended. Poor fudge. Poor us. I love my mommy and daddy and sisters. I don't want to freeze to death. I never did get to save the whales, or the manatee (sorry Janelle). I never get did to tell Ivan that I've been eating all of his frozen SuperSaver bur- ritos this semester. I never did get to tell Paul that I'm the evil roommate who's been eating his Wisconsin- baked cookies. What is this evil world coming too? Is this the effect of global warming? I feel bad for ever burning those styro- foam cups when I've been camp- ing. Uh-oh, I'll never go camping again. I'm sad. If this humble final journal entry outlives me and ends up in the hands of a newspaper editor, please publish this as my honored epitaph. This Is a sad Journal entry by an Inspired survivor at the 'Blackout at '97' (as ohrlstoned by Ivan Cenloeros, now deoeased). Driving to End Danger by abner fuente^ guest writer The statistics are alarming-it is the leading cause of death for Americans between the ages of 15 and 24. Last year over 41,900 Americans died in traffic accidents and over 3 million were seriously injured. In Nebraska alone, 293 lives were lost in 1996, up from 254 the year before. As if the unnecessary loss of life were not enough, the financial burden is also astounding. Approximately $14 billion a year in health care costs can be traced directly to traffic accidents. Of those $14 billion, $11.4 billion rests squarely on the shoulders of taxpayers. In an effort to help curb this disturbing trend, Lincoln institut- ed some "no tolerance" doubled- fine zones which took effect in the late part of July. It is a rela- tively simple law affecting only "speed reduction" areas delineat- ed by the flashing school speed- limit signs. If you are caught speeding in one of these areas it could prove very costly.' This M.P.H over the Speed Limit Cost* 1-8 $ 20.00 6-10 $ 80.00 11-18 $180.00 16-20 i $280.00 21+ $400.00 •court oosts extra city law provides for the same fines as called for by state laws concerning speeding in construc- tion zones. By the end of September, there had been no significant increase in speeding tickets given in school zones since the new law's implementation in July. However, there was also no sig- nificant decrease. This law does not affect the city-wide speed limit, which remains at 25 m.p.h. unless oth- erwise posted. Although it is a step, albeit • a small step, in the right direction, no amount of laws or fines will make our streets any safer. Ultimately, the responsibility rests with each driver when he or she decides to take the wheel. tycf&cgfVWe X-. 1997 Staff c-tHtzrc' Lnr chi^ christine rosette Christine rosette xvtHLgLtrq, edittrc eric ha nsen a & e ecllftnc wanda welch bret schlisner alii son lamon wcLPsrs*- nathan blake lora hagen eric gonaales jabin krassin missy bowers grev,Hd IJOV MU: There were two large tulip poplar squirrel homes on the steep hill behind the house. And I wanted one of the squir- rels to move from its poplar tree into my. house. But how do you catch the elu- sive squirrel? Our Mission Grant and Johnny and I made a plan. To gpt our pet, we would have to chase a squirrel away from the trees down into the drain pipes under the hall- way that connected the dorm to our house. The little tunnel was about ten inches in diameter and 10 feet long. Johnny ran to the other side of the house- trap tunnel and Grant and I waited- for a little rodent to stray from the trees to our peanut bait. About 3.47 minutes after leaving the bait, Squirrelly bit. Grant and I slowly closed In on the trees. After ninjafyingly creeping between the squirrel and the trees, we scooted down the hill side by side. Squirrelly's first choice of refuge was the obvious: that lit- tle drainage tunnel. Squirrelly hurtled himself down the hill. He zipped into that pipe like a kangaroo pup into the pouch. Johnny growled into the cement tube and Squirrelly sat there panting and twitching. We blocked up the pipe with a kickball and ran around to Johnny's side. Each of us stooped down to look at our new pet, trapped under the corridor. Some-day he would come out, and we • would'catch hlBb.^'dl Grant went about 47 feet away with a pair of binocu- lars while we slinked out of sight to trick Squirrelly into thinking all was safe. Ooh. We were oh-so-sly. I think the squirrel could hear us giggling, maybe. After a few minutes, Johnny tired of waiting and went home disappointed as the sun was putting on its autumn coat for the night. There I sat with my paper sack. I would never have a pet. Because this squirrel had more patience than I. I started to walk away, head held low. "Bret! Bret! He's making a dash for itl" The Amayrtng Catch I spun around and dove for the mouth of the tube. It all happened in slow motion. Squirrelly cocked his head at my flailing figure. He tried to dash right. Then left. My elbow smashed into the grass. He freaked. His buck teeth seemed to scream, "I give up! I give up!" And he landed in my j>aper sack like a base- ball slapping a catch- er's mit for strike kthree. "I got 'im! I got 'im!" beamed between my fat cheeks and held up the wig- I^DKimmti— scratchy- sounding bag like my Olympic rgold r medal. My brother 'sprinted over rand high-fived my other hand and we looked at the sack " convulsing and quivering and flailing and rustling. I thought all wild animals were nice. Especially cute little squirrels. So I opened the top of the crumpled up bag and peered in at the little guy. Looking back up at me, Squirrelly was such a cute, furry little bugger. I reached into the bag with my chubby hand to caress my new pet. CHOMP! "Ahhoww!" I yanked my hand out of the bag like it was a burning-hot fry pan. But this pan was clamped to the web- bing of my fingers. As I shook my hand in pain, my Squirrelly pom-pom waved up and down, finally flipping off into the mud and jetting toward the trees. The blood oozed from between my fingers! "You have rabies!" ' Grant screamed. "You're gonria die!" He dragged me inside and we washed my hand, sticking a band-aid over the tooth-marks of the beast which had so bru- tally attacked little defenseless me. What was Squirrelly's big prob? I just wanted to be his friend. I just wanted a pet to -iVfBff" and'to-'cheH^;;tq'ihdve,c' 0J and to MP® fee^cfion^s^f^ my finder dd u^'paft?" I guess I learned a lot about love that day. I loved that squirrel. I thought he loved me too. I was wrong. I'm just glad I didn't propose; just think of the pain I would have caused myself, my parents and the other members of our space- time continuum. I survived the episode to date another day. (See Lamon col- umn for more.) Bret Schlisnor has done a cartwheel in all 48 of the continental united states. music Concert: Jars of Clay by lora hagen guest writer You will be thrilled to know that Tory a and I discovered a fabu- lous new workout last Monday night (Oct. 6). Picture this: you, some loud music and a few hundred random strangers. "What is this new concept?" you ask. A Jars of Clay concert. Yes, that's right. In the course of our taskforcing here, we have now been forced to attend that particular Miller Lite-sponsored event. The opening act was Plumb, actually a very musical Christian act. At least, the few words I could decipher were God-oriented. Also, the lead singer has a habit of yelling "Wuhu!" every so often as she strides across the stage. But the main event, JOC, was marvelous. They were funny, and sang all the songs that we wanted to hear. Actually, one of the most fascinating visual things about the concert were the little projection machines that flashed pictures of jars, stars and cross- es on the walls during the concert. The singing was even better live than on their CD, I thought (though I did wonder why the drummer was encased in his own little glass booth...). Most of the audience spent the majority of its time jumping up and down, hence the exercise. I found that it was a better work- out to just bounce up and down on my toes. Torya discovered it was better not to wear any sort of platform/high-heeled shoes. I felt that one of the funniest events during the concert occurred impromptu. One of the intros failed to materialize in a timely fashion. So, to pass the time until the glitch was fixed, they had a dance, er, choreographed movement/time period. Anyway, I suppose that you'll want to form your own opinion. That's why you'll just have to go to their concert when they per- form in Omaha sometime. But hurry up and call Ticket Master, because it might sell out rather quickly. If you're in the dorm, make sure to fill out a late leave thingie and give it to your dean. Some extra knowledge for you: Shirts are $20/$25 apiece. And if you go, you'll want to bring water bottles along. You'll need them. (The preceding facts were brought to you courtesy of TFR Enterprises, Inc.) complex harmonies. The lyrics are incredibly good all the way through. It helps that the vocals have been pulled out of the mix, and that the background music is acoustic and not screaming guitars and deafening drums. Caedmon's Call's track, "april showers" is one of my favorites, along with Ridgley's track, "windows." The songs are so conta- gious that I find myself humming them as I go through the day, and the lyrics are the catchy kind that really stick in your head after a good listen. Independent bands just have a certain "aliveness" to them that most signed bands have lost. You can literally hear the passion and the "realness" in their music. It's neat to know that they're doing it because they really love their musical ministry, not because they're making loads of money or fulfilling a con- tract. I implore all of you to check this worthy audio specimen out. If you're into the Indigo Girls, the Counting Crows, or other similar bands, I'm sure you'll get a jolt from the Compilation. Unfortunately, the only way to get this CD-besides attending a concert of one of the bands on the album- is to order it by mail at: P.O. Box 4353 Chapel Hill, NC 27515. Or by giv- ing the guys a call (the number is 1-888- 552-9253.) Or by e-mailing them at: awake@mindspring. com. Next week, I'll share with you the con- versation/interview I had with Scott Sanders, one of the founding partners for Awakening Records. CD Review: The Awakening Compilation by elllot smith _ music expert In keeping with this week's theme, I looked through my record collection to see if there was some way I could tie a music review in with the pet theme. Some CDs that caught my eye were: Def Leppard, Dog's Eye View, thrillcat, Counting Crows, Hootie Se the Blowfish, the eels, the Jayhawks.... I soon grew tired of this idea. Instead/1 decided that I wanted to share an album which could very well blow all of you Unionites away. Thid earth-shattering discovery is a compila- tion of independent, Christian bands. Tt^e 1 CD's entitled, The 'Awakening Compilation, which is also the name of the independent record company who put out the CD. 1 : The whole operation is based out of Chapel Hill, NC, yet the bands on the CD are from all over the country. I came about this CD by attend- ing a concert of Nickel Se Dime, one of the bands on the compilation. They totally blew me away with their raw musical tal- ent and energy, combined with their obvi- ous passion for God. After listening to the compilation, I discovered eleven other independent groups/solo artists who were equally compelling in their own rights. They are: Caedmon's Call (who have since been signed to a major Christian label), Mark Williams, Chris Sawin, Ridgley, Allen Levi, Waterdeep, Tim Pigman, Bebo Norman, Big Wednesday, Huckleberry and David C. Parks. All of the tracks on Awakening are acoustic in |nature, although I do know that most of the bands play other styles of material on their own respective albums. The rhythms range from upbeat to laid back and contemplative. The vocal styles are Just as mixed, with songs ranging from simple to reviews btj nathan blake ^ guest writer I wish I knew French. But I don't And that is okay. Ponette—the 100 minute movie I viewed—was in French with English subtitles. And it was one of the top five films I have ever seen. The story centers on Ponette, a four-year-old girl, as she deals with surviving a car wreck that killed her mother. She has a tough time understanding death and receives virtually no help coping with the loss of her mom. Ponette is sent to live with her cousins in the country. Throughout the movie, different people (father, aunt, cousins, friends) tell her varying and often contradicting things about death However, she continues believing her mom will show up again sometime. Little Victoire Thivisol (Ponette) acts stunningly; I cannot think of a more worthy actress for an Oscar. Every one of the child actors was exceptional and authentic. The entire movie (barring one of the ending scenes) was real and true- to-life. It was as if the audience was actually there observing Ponette and her friends interact Jacques Doillon, the director, made me remem- ber what it was like to be a kid again. The peaceful lifestyle, imaginative games, child-like trust, and an endearing innocent wonderment took me back in time as I watched The movie was spiritual, funny and deep. You should rent this video when it comes out In addi- tion to spending your time viewing an extraordinary movie, you might be able to pick up some French If you've never seen a movie at the Mary Riepma Ross Film Theatre, I highly recommend you take one in sometime. ureal.!***: A* Violence: A a&*MnfY: A tf ORAL valine: a inspiration: A to&ftfflit... overall.: A photo released for publication, photographer unknown. Movie Review: In & Out lora hagen guest writer Have you ever been publicly humiliated? Who hasn't? Have you ever had anyone proclaim that you are gay? Who has? Recently I got to see In £r Out" the newest movie with Kevin Kline. After seeing it I will never think of Tom Selleck the same way. Call me old-fashioned but I just was n't ready for his—shall we say—complete role reversal. Here's the basic plot At the Academy Awards, Carmen announces to the world that his old high school teacher is gay. Carmen's former high school teacher then spends most of the rest of the movie deciding about his sexual orientation. The best parts of the whole movies are the scenes involving Joan Cussack, Kevin Kline's bride. She is hysterical—literally. You have to wait for her best perfor- mances. They occur after the wedding. Watch out for the bar scene especially. "Are there any heterosexual men anywhere?" The plot is pretty straightforward until the wedding. In fact one might say that the movie is a teeny, tiny bit hoky. The laughs are fairly standard; however, Kevin Kline's facial expressions add a lot to any scene that he is in. Overall, it's a decent movie. I got my money's worth out of it Of course, I only paid 25 cents to get in..... Ahh the many joys of living in Arizona. Rated: P6-13 Ponette senior focus todd essex interview conducted by Christine rosette what's your major? Business management with a marketing emphasis. who's your favorite teacher St why? Mark Smith and Barry Forbes. Both make class enjoyable, and conduct class in such a way that it's easy to comprehend difficult tilings. God has blessed them with a talent to teach. You can tell they love what they do. what was your least favorite class here at uc? World Lit. what're you doing after graduation? I hope to get a job on the West coast, doing something in the business field, while Michelle is in optometry school. why did you come to school here? To play basketball. how long have you played basketball? 10 years. how did you hurt your ankles? Prom football and basketball. Overdoing it. are you a sports fanatic? Yes. if you could meet any athlete, who would it be Sr why? Barry Sanders. He's a Christian and I've never seen him lose his temper on the field. what do you think is the most important thing the uc war- riors need to have a good season? I think if we play good defense, umm, and never give up, we could beat in every game. We've gone into games knowing we will lose. We need confidence. We need to believe we can win. Fans need to come cuz the new players this year are fantastic. what's the biggest mistake you've made since you came to union? jet's see...my biggest mistake was.... losing my temper in athletics. some girls think that guys are all about sports.- do you think this is true? rIt's an unfair stereotype. It probably came -about because we talk alot without thinking. But guys also love the social/dating life and scholastics as well. who's the crasiest person you know? Aaron Fritz. senior focus Todd with girlfriend MICHELLE which friend would you want with you on a deserted island? MICHELLE. who do you most admire, characteristically speaking? My dad. He didn't have the easiest life. But he bent over backwards to make my life the best it could be. He made lots of sacrifices. what's one thing you've always dreamed of doing? I would love to go to England with three friends and golf on four of their best courses. what's the best advice anyone's ever given you? The President of Florida Hospital gave me the top ten ways to be the best leader possible. what's the best advice you can give incoming students about their time at union? Get involved in as many things as you can, because social skills are just as important as your GPA, but maintain a decent GPA too. (pictures on left page Se above donated by rnichelle miller, picture of todd on right taken by wanda welch.) hey, if you think she's cool & she's graduating, let us know instead of hogging her all to yourself like a fly-snagging spider if he's a stud & leaving in may, call us so we can give his number & pics to all the eligible ladies, call X28W to nominate him/her/it november 3 from china page 18 i ML lemma: American or Chinese? by brace cban — —• guest writer On the first day of class, my Chinese students thought of rue as ah anoma of nature: a black-haired, small-nosed, yel- Jqw-skinner teacher who spoke perfect Eiiglish, but couldn't speak more than four phrases of their native tongue. *Are you Chinese? Your face looks like 'us,"-piped a student, her finger made a circle motion around her face. The director of the school had already warned me of such questions. They advertised in their brochures that only native speakers of English taught at the language institute. So I couldn't say I was Chinese. . "My parents are Chinese. My mom is from Hong Kong. My dad's from Malaysia. My reply sounded foreign to me. If my parents are both Chinese, wouldn't that make me Chinese? I had never felt more Chinese after landing at the Shanghai airport two weeks earlier. I couldn't leave my jfcnswer Just as that. : "So I'm Chinese-American." The faces staring at me gave a collective sigh-of relief. A few smiled approvingly. But that wasn't my first time grappling with the issue. The First Encounter I met Sandy at an eleventh-floor bowling alley, equipped with brand-new Brunswick pin-setter, beautiful maple lanes and com- . puter screens that flashed "01e!" and "TurkeyI" He bowled magnificently, almost reaching 200, and subtly priding himself in beating this American in a purely American game. He wanted to practice his English, and I wanted to see . ' Shanghai, We agreed to meet again two •days later. He promised to show me Shanghai's best: Nailing Road. . "you dee Shanghai is a beautiful city. -We love our city," said Sandy as we scur- ' 'field through the streets in a taxi two days later. "How do you like Shanghai?". *0h, it's nice so far, but I haven't seen much," I replied- The driver stopped in front of a water- front park district, known ELS the Bund. A Wide walkway runs about a mile along the Huangpu River, and behind it looms a vagabond assortment of new-classical 1930's New York-style buildings. The Bund reminisces of London's Parliament buildings along the River Thames, and serves as a reminder of Shanghai's painful colonial past. But history and bad memories haven't kept away the throngs of locals and tourists who stroll along the river front and the Bund. Beautiful marble sidewalks beckon the crowds. Lovers walk hand?in- hand. Old chums talk loudly in strange Chinese dialects. Mothers and fathers lov- ingly grasp the hands of their child between them. We walked a little distance along the * river front, and then Sandy directed me to Narking Road, Shanghai's ritziest shopping district. The entire street was cordoned off, only allowing pedestrian traffic. People saturated every available space. The entire street was lit up like the Las Vegas strip. Gawking tourists respectfully stared at the brand-new Yamaha stereo systems, iLacoste polo shirts and bot- tles of Chanel perfume. "Do the locals shop [Narying road?" I asked Sandy. "Oh, no. They have no ^Fmoney. These are mostly Frich overseas Chinese." He answered. "You like this rplace?" — 'Yeah, I suppose I do." I like American music The more we walked, the thicker the crowds became. Finally I saw a CD shop. Inside we'd find a respite from the crowds. We stepped inside. I tried steer- ing Sandy to the American music section. Old Michael Jackson, the Carpenters and all three Cranberries albums ^ caught my eye. "I don't like to listen to American music," said Sandy as I tried to show him the newest Cranberries CD. "It just doesn't sound very good." "Well, then show me some popu- lar Chinese music," I retorted. "Male or female?" "Female." Sandy started to look intently at the racks. I pointed out to sAndy a beautiful female Hong Kong singer, Alice Ou. "Wow. She's very pretty." "Oh, yes. All my classmates thinks she is the most beautiful." Sandy had a way of putting crisp endings on harsh conso- nants. It made it nice to hear. He smiled, and his eyes squinted to oblivion. He then showed me a male Cantonese singer, whose name I've yet to find out, since the cover is In Chinese. "I have this album. It very good." I looked at the price tag. $1.15. Well within my budget. Next to it I saw the Best of Sting album Fields of Qold. It sold for $2.00. I bought it too. One would have to search for a genuine copy of a CD or VCD here in China. Everything is pirated. We walked the entire mile-and-a-half length of Nanjing Road. I felt exhausted. Jet lag still had its evil grip on me. We rested at a place called "People's Square." The square was my first encounter with Chinese civility. Before then I had yet to find a park bench, where one could sit and relax. Consequently, thousands of Chinese use the same place to gain peace and rest. In such an environment, you have to create your own rest and privacy. While Sandy and I talked in English, sip- pin gour cold 7UPs, men sitting nearby strained to listen to our foreign syllables. Roadmap? "Do you like Michael Jordan?" Sandy smiled, hoping I'd recognize his hero. "He's a great player. But I don't like the Bulls.". ' '.. "You like John Stockton, Scottie Pippin and Roadmap?" "Who? Roadman?" "Roadman." "Ohhh. Dennis Rodman. No, he's got too many earrings." I couldn't believe he knew this strange creature's name, but it was oddly comforting. "Did you know that Michael Jordan said he wouldn't play for the Bulls if Phil Jackson was fired?" asked Sandy. "Oh really? I vaguely ^ remember hearing about that. How did you know about all of this?" "I love watching the MBA." "The NBA." I corrected. "Sandy, do you want to visit America?" "Who wouldn't?" he smiled, his eyes squinting them- selves away. "But I still love my country." I looked at him, and said, "I love mine too. I love mine too." Bruoa Is a UC student mission- ary tM^hlng »ngll«h at Shanghai, China. He ftlll needs to find an electric converter. "You like John Stockton, Scottie Pippin and Roadmap?" "Are you Chinese?" piped a stu- dent.... My reply sounded foreign to me. oomplled by wanda welch k Did you know that asb provides a free dating service? If you are hard-up or not. all you have to do is dial x261<3 & get hooked up with a prayer date. "What's a prayer date?" you ask.. Weill, a prayer date is yocir real authentic opportunity to get to know anyone you think is cool I'ts hard to lie when you're praying, so sepa rate the stalker-freaks from the nice people. Pray with them, & God will give you a spouse for a mere $60,000. Call the hotline now. Operators are standing by. —Bret Schlisner