Christmas Comes By Train Vision-Action Strikes By Kelly Strom December 8, 5 p.m., marked the sold-out ASB Christmas Banquet, which took place in the Great Hall of the Train Station. Of the 250 faculty and the 350 •r students, it is doubtful that even one of them went away disappointed. Far from disap- pointing, the elegance and beauty of the evening was immensely enjoyable. Although 600 were in attendance, the atmosphere of a traditional family Christ- mas was prevalent throughout the evening. The festively lit Christmas tree was the focal McClelland agreed wholeheartedly, and said the decor was beautiful. Former Union College student, Murray Cox, thought the Hay Market was an excellent choice of location since it was a interesting part of town that few students had been previously introduced too. Tammy and Howie Hunts- man also said they were pleased with the evening. "It's the neatest banquet they've had at Union in the five years I've been here," exclaimed Howie. Judging from the turnout, this was undoubtedly the opinion of students as well as faculty, because The Great Hall of the Train Station was filled to thus keeping the strategic plan dynamic and changing. 2) To provide a means by which people may contribute to the shared vision of Union, and to set in place a process for active input. 3) To provide practice to facilitators for hands on experience in the visioning process. 4) To launch a listening process that would assist Union in understanding the college's image in the Mid-America field. 5) To produce a means for staff, faculty, and administration to help constituent schools, acad- emies and churches to develop a vision for Union's future, building a broader base of support for Union College. Union in return will serve and support all of Mid-America in training churches, and schools to vision for their own future. "Vision" continued on page 5. point of the evening's entertainment. The Brass Union, String Quartet, and Sax Quartet each displayed a sample of their talent by playing a wide range of Christmas carols ranging from Silent Night to Jingle Bells. Photographer Gerik Parmele was also a prominent figure around the Christmas tree. During the instrumental entertainment, couples and groups drifted over for a 4x6 remembrance of the special evening. Responses from the students and faculty were overwhelmingly favorable. Mrs. McArthur felt the banquet was a great suc- cess and was particularly impressed with the spirit displayed by the student body. Mrs. capacity. When the dinner of Pat Parmele's delicacies came to a close, the crowded hall was gradually emptied, and the group headed for South East High School where a play of the Velveteen Rabbit was presented. Enough cannot be said about the acting of everyone involved in the production. Its unique ap- proach took a quaint children's story and gave it adult appeal. The play was light- hearted and comical and gave a perfect end to a perfect evening. Overall, The evening was a huge success and everyone involved should be congratulated on a job well done. By Byard W. Parks On Monday, December 2, thirty- seven representatives composed of Union College administrators, faculty, staff, and stu- dents converged for a dynamic "Vision to Action" training seminar—a program that will likely shape the growth and progress of Union for many years to come. Through the primary efforts of Dr. Larry Ray, director of the strate- gic planning committee, and President John Kerbs, and with the funding of North Ameri- can Division's Board of Higher Education, Union was able to host the seminar. "Vision to Action" is a part of the NAD's program entitled "Project Affirmation." This program has been in op- eration for four years and is an innovative endeavor committed to revitalizing Seventh- day Adventist education. Five specific objectives were set prior to the "Vision to Action" seminar. These are summarized as follows: 1) To launch an ongoing visioning process for Union College and to continue to vision, Politically Correct Page 2 L.A. Story Page 6. The Top of TheList Page 9. Deck The Halls With Vine Page 11. Editorial The Editorial (Personal Opinions of Operational Director of Academic Publication) There has been a new and interesting term that we as Americans have had to become aquainted with. This term is called "Politi- cally Correct." At first glance it seems a harmless little phrase that inspires one to think, "Well a little correctness in politics might be in order." But I would guess that most of us know that this has nothing to do with the actual meaning of the term. The true meaning of this term is to gloss over some- thing to make it nice and presentable so as not to offend or violate anyone's esteem. This looks on the surface like a lovely idea. After all, we wouldn't want to offend people now, would we? Well, "Politically Correct" is the most offensive thing that has come up in a while. The whole reason this term has come up is because of people's inability to cope with reality. So they invent nice new terms to make things seem so far removed that they don't have to deal with them. So if the name changes the problem will go away or appear so nice that they need not give it a second thought. Well, isn't that just a nice, well thought-out way to deal with the problem. There are plenty of examples of this atro- cious unreality. Starting with the Army: In World War I they had a term called "Shell Shock." This was a term used to describe the mental breakdown caused by the intensity of combat. Pretty straight forward and sounds harsh. In World War II they changed it to "Battle Fatigue." The same problem in a prettier package. The Korean War brought the new and improved "Operational Dys- function." This is nice and removed—from two syllables up to eight. Then came Viet- nam and the term "Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome." Very sanitary, and it even has a hyphen, but what exactly does it mean? Sounds like something too strange to deal with. Maybe if it was left at the "Shell Shock" stage, then the public could have given the veterans of our wars the help they were in dire need of. There are more terms coming out every day. We now have "Senior Citizens" instead of old people. What's wrong with the word "old"? It's true and everyone knows what it means. I'm a Senior in college and I'm a citizen, so then I'm a "Senior Citizen" in some sense, but I'm not old and everyone knows it. Maybe they should call me a "Junior Citizen" just in case "young" be- comes offensive. But then if you were a Junior in college... The other sanitary terms that come to mind are "Handicapped" or even "Physically Challenged" or even "Handicapable" instead of the term "Crippled." Now when you're in an airport you hear this lovely anouncement: "We will now 'Pre-board Passengers with Mobility Impairments."' If that is not ob- scure enough to confuse a Rhodes Scholar on what the real meaning is, then what is? Other sanitizing euphemisms like "Under Repre- sented" instead of "Minority", or "Develop- mentally Delayed" instead of "Mentally Retarded." This term could mean that you happen to be behind in your understanding of Algebra, as well as that you are not function- ing with normal brain power. The whole point of "Politically Correct" is to make a categorical name seem less offensive so as not to offend the party being categorized, but it can go so far as to destroy the real meaning. We could make "Home- work" something painless like "Provisional Exercise of Individual Field Capabilites," but it would still require me to stay up late and "work", or "Expend Energy Pursuing Quality Assessment." The feminist movement has tried to sani- tize terms like: chairman to chairperson, mailman to mailperson. This is one of the better uses of "Politically Correct." But even this could get out of hand. What if we had "personhole cover." People are still crippled and still minori- ties, and I still have homework and the world still has numerous probfeD.s. But changing the package does not in any way change the contents—it just changes the appearance. If we change the perception, then we have not solved the problem—only the perception. The Clocktower Staff Editor Asst. Editor Copy Editor Photo Editor Ad Manager Staff Writers Sponsor Printer Mark A. Pfeiffer T.I. Mahlum Becky Lane Jeff Scoggins Tammie Mentzel Gabrielle Bailey Jim Mules Shannon Nelson Byard Parks Rikki Stenbakken Kelly Strom Greg Rumsey Sun Newspaper/ Nebraska Printing Center The Clocktower is a bi-weekly publi- cation of the Union College Associated Student Body. Letters to the Editor Personals and submissions must be under our door by noon on the Sunday prior to publication. Editorials are opinions of the Clocktower. All other opinions expressed are those of the author and must bear his or her name. The Clocktower reserves the right to edit letters for reasons of space or clarity Christmas For The Kids 2 December 12, 1991 Cartoons Word of the Week December 12, 1991 On Campus A Fortress Within By Jerrold Burr As I walked into the Union College cafeteria it was as if I had regressed to the medieval era. Mist rose from the water of the nearest moat. The countryside was strewn with castles, walls, and fortresses. Knights could partially be seen as they peered down from the towers. "My, what a lovely banquet, and what a masquerade," uttered my astounded compan- ion, "Everybody belongs to one of these castles." It was then that I noticed the lack of drawbridges. Every castle had people in it, but not one had so much as a gate. "How did they get in there?" I asked my companion, "and where is the castle for us?" "They built it around themselves," she replied. I looked around bewildered. A flag flew above the nearest castle. A pure white "C A" stood out against a background of blue. Other castles displayed such initials as MWA, PVA, CV A, EA, D AA, S A, OA, S V A, GLA and MH A. As we walked through the cafeteria we kept looking for a way into any castle, any stronghold so that we could become one of them. There were no doors or bridges across the moats. Finally we chanced upon a new con- struction. Frantically its builders were putting stone upon stone to seal themselves into their own society. One of the group was furiously stitching up a flag for their new fraternity. "HH" was underscored by the small print words "Home- less and Happy" Discouraged, I walked out of the caf- eteria into the cold night air and came to the conclusion that there are three types of under- graduates at Union College. The first type come from Mid-America Scratch and Sniff Union Academies. These are the students that, for the last four years, have bemoaned the small size of their SDA school. They claimed that it was not large enough for them to escape it's limitations. By their senior year in academy they say that they're ready to expand their horizons. The irony becomes apparent when they actually get to college. All those thoughts about expan- sion of horizons fade. A small group of students who may have despised each other in high school now become a close knit family in the face of the formerly glorified "new possibilities" of college life. Like a person watching their worst adver- sary walk by with a big umbrella on a rainy day, all malice is forgotten in a search of security and comfort. Contentment to live in an isolated world becomes acceptable, and seldom is it seen as important to reach out to other people. The second group of students comes from SDA academies outside of Mid-America. They have no "College Days 91 union college" shirts to wear to class. Generally, however, they have several friends who came from their acad- emy as well. Socially they develop more quickly because they don't have friends from high school in every class, as do the Mid-Americans. Thus they are constantly in contact with people they previously didn' t know. But there is always their small group of friends to retreat to if a Friday night date didn't metarialize. The third group of students come from everywhere else. This is the Heinz 57 group made up of International, public high school, non-SDA private school, and home study stu- dents. They generally have no one or no group to call their own. These are the ones that get to room with people they don't know and work with people that they have never met. The major advantage of this group is that they have a clean slate to meet the world with. Everywhere they go they meet new people. They learn to build bridges to cross the motes, scaffolds to scale the walls, and ropes to reach the towers ofthe cliques. They don't try to break down the walls for that would threaten. Walls are to be torn down and broken from within by those who built them. At the end of any such stereotyping article, one expects to hear how it should be and what we as students should do to remedy the author's perception. "Awareness is the first step," may be the anticipated phrase here. This article is not an appeal to the Mid-America class to reach out and create Utopia on our campus, nor is it an argument against having a close knit group of friends. Rather it is merely a recognition of how things are. In reaction, the idealist may try to reach out more, the pessimist will lament the situation, and the realist wil 1 wear his armor with pride. $1000 Scholarship Home Study International has an exciting mission, to become Your Partner in Education! Our goal is (o supplement (he needs of college and high school students while providing full home school support to elementary and middle schools, missionaries, educational institutions around the world and (lie growing home school market in the USA. You can help us by designing our logo wliich convoys the mission message: Your Partner in Education! The design promotion is open to all students at SDA colleges in North America. The winning design must be submitted and postmarked on or before December 23, I99l. The winner will receive a $1000 .scholarship to the school of his/her choicc! The design must communicate the relationship we have with our clients. Home Study International provides six essential qualities: / State-approved teacher graded lessons and tests. / The only USA preschool through college correspondence program that is an accredited member of the National Home Study Council (NHSC). The NHSC is the only accrediting body for correspondence schools that is recognized by the US Department of Education. • Guides that provide daily plans for each course. / Biblically-based curriculum. / Students are able to progress at their own pace. / Accessibility, we arc there when you need us. For further information seo Dr. Jim McClelland. IIOME STUDY INTERNATIONAL Griggs University * Home Study High School * Home Study Elementary School P.O. Box 4437 • Silver Spring, MD 20914-4437 12501 Old Columbia Pike • Silver Spring, MD 20914 December 12, 1991 Happenings "Vision" Continued From page 1. Skip Bell, Vice President for Admin- istration for Potomac Conference and Union alumni, served as the facilitator for the semi- nar. Monday's session focused on vision- ing for Union and prioritizing the needs of the college. One faculty member summarized the process as "structured brainstorming". The group in attendance was seated in action com- mittees of six. As Leona Murray, Vice Presi- dent of Enrollment Services, and Gary Bollinger, Vice President of Finance, presented statistics of the college, each person was asked to write down things that either pleased them or troubled them. Then these "pleased and troubled" lists were narrowed within the action committees. Also, each person was given ten minutes to write two visions of what they "saw Union like in 1996". Over lunch an "editing committee" summarized the ideas and concerns of the group, narrowing the field of criteria to thir- teen items, touching all aspects of the college. These were written with a short synopsis of their major objectives and posted on huge paper to the walls. In the afternoon all 37 representatives voted on what they saw as the five highest priorities in the college's future success. They gave 5 points to what they felt most important, 4 points to their second choice etc. The points were then tallied. The results of this process were "un- expected." Dr. Ray asserted positively, "We were delighted to see the consensus of the group," The top four areas were 1) Spiritual Growth 2) Academic Excellence 3) Increased Enrollment and 4) Reduction of Debt. Dr. Kerbs expressed that he was, "thrilled to see a solid spiritual climate and commitment as our campus' highest priority as well as academic excellence." Each action committee was then concentrated on developing one of these areas. On Tuesday, Dec 3, twenty-two indi- viduals were trained to be facilitators for "Vi- sion-to-Action" semirtafi. They will travel within the Mid-America Union and discover the combined vision for Union College of our churches and schools. Tuesday night the first of such meetings was held at the Northside Church in Lincoln. Dr. Kerbs and Dr. Ray both expressed their appreciation for the overwhelming sup- port of those involved. They felt that the sacrifice of time from administration, faculty, staff and students really showed the optimistic committment to the college. The "Vision-to-Action" seminar"met our expectations in every way," says Dr. Ray. "It is now up to us to keep it moving. Those that were trained on Tuesday are enthusiastic and ready to go out. This is a dynamic program that has begun; Union College will harvest signifi- cant returns from it in the years to come." ociable lb ASB Plays Santa By Rikki Stenbakken Christmas in Nebraska—the land that gave us piles of blindingly white snow on Halloween and fifty-degree weather last Sun- day. Are students here on campus in the Christmas spirit despite the sometimes unpre- dictable weather? If they aren't, it definitely isn't because the ASB hasn't tried to make it feel at least a little bit Christmasy. Last week Union College was struck by "Merry Mania." Each and every day the ASB offered us fattening foods and new procrastination possibilities. Monday morn- ing in the lobby of the Dick Building, there were M&M cookies free for the munching. Tuesday evening at nine, the Student Center was open for the movie "An American Tale." According to Chuck Hagele, there was a "good crowd" of people there to see the charge, students could eat all the chimichangas and rice their stomachs could hold. For dessert, ice cream and M&M's were provided along with cookies baked by the faculty. After vespers came the Christ- mas tree lighting. A path from the church to the tree was formed by shiny luminarias— Christmas lanterns made from lighted candles set in sand inside a paper bag. S AA members Rebecca Rowand, Tammie Mentzel, Corey Hasenauer, and Angie Mills led in Christmas carols and presented Dr. John Kerbs. Dr. Kerbs gave a short speech challenging us to remember the true meaning of Christmas, and then the Christmas tree was lit. From the Christmas tree, students and staff followed the path back to the Dick Building where hot chocolate, donut holes, and fellowship were A Surreal Christmas Tree Lighting classic movie. On Wednesday, cafeteria- goers were able to decorate their own cookies with a variety of different colored frosting and sprinkles. On Thursday, students were given the opportunity to jog down to Dairy Queen and buy an M&M blizzard for only fifty cents. This offer was good only with a valid UC ID card, of course. Friday was the day scheduled for the annual SAA Christmas tree lighting on front campus. First though, we were treated to a Mexican Fiesta Budget Buffet during supper in the cafeteria. For only a $2.50 offered in the lobby. Sunday evening was the culmina- tion of the Merry Mania week with the Christ- mas banquet at the Lincoln Train Station. Those attending were given the chance of horse-drawn carriage rides. They were also given the opportunity to share some of the Christmas spirit with someone else by bring- ing a new pair of socks or underwear for needy families. To wrap up the evening, the play "The Velveteen Rabbit" was presented as an Emmy Gifford Theater production at Lincoln Southeast High School Auditorium. New Location Large Pizza Delivered for the price of a small! $6.25 Save $3.70 one topping, includes lax NOBODY KNOWS LIKE .DOMINO'S. How You Like Pizza At Home. Large Pizza Delivered for the price of a small! $6.25 Save $3.70 otic topping, includes tax Call Us 434-2366 5310 South 56th #6 December 13: Dead-Day Last day to witdraw with a "W" ASB Fun Flicks December 14: Warriors Tournement, OlatheKS. Concert Winds Christmas Show ASB Film - "Prancer" Go Home December 16: GRE First Semester Exams December 17: First Semester Exams December 18: First Semester Exams December 19: First Semester Exams Work complete for December Graduation Christmas Vacation! January 6: Second Semester Registration January 7: Classes Begin Warriors take on Ozark Week Of Prayer - Dick Barron (Through January 10) January 10: "Cantorville Ghost" -LiedCenter January 11: Warriors face Miller and York January 13: ASB Senate January 14: Warriors attack Grace January 16; ClockTower Nine arrives! Warriors meet UNL-Ag. December 12, 1991 „ Feature Climbing the Golden Hills By Tim O. Chapman, Foreign Despondant Apparently the staff of this fine piece of journalism thought something rather interesting was going on here, on the west coast of America. So here I am in the warm sun of southern Califor- nia. I'd like to say that the Clocktower had flown me, the foreign affairs edi- tor, out here to Los Ange- les, allowed me to duck out of the plane in my sunglasses and shorts, quickly peruse Beverly HillsandRedondo Beach, and fax back a report of "It's groovy—nice sand" while jetting off to other more newsworthy spots, like Bermuda or the French Riviera. But no, instead of allowing me to be a well paid and over- sunned tropical affairs editor, the Clocktower left me to become a Medi- cal Student in the San Bernadino Valley, and so I picked up all of my earthly possessions and drove westward. I passed through green fields of grain, beautiful moun- tains lost in misty heights, enchanted deserts stretching into quivering mi- rages, and rolling rangelands where cattle lolled. And where did I end up? A land of asphalt and stucco where Mexicans roll around in low-rider pickups with the appellation "Love Machine" hand painted on the tailgate. Oh, the wonders of the so-called inland empire, a long (and I'm told), once green valley stretching up from Los Angeles into the Sierras. At one time a beautiful valley, it is now a channel where cars full of all the residents stream down into L.A. in the morning, and stream back up at night, bringing clouds of smog back from L.A. with them. People from the fabled land of Colorado speak of seeing the mountains from their backyards. For the first couple of weeks This is not anywhere in California. here I thought I lived on a plain with clouds surrounding it at about a distance of five miles. One day, to my great surprise, clean air (at least it seemed to be clean~I could see through it) somehow got tired of being pushed down by the brown noxious smog, and sat upon Loma Linda. Suddenly huge 10,000 foot mountains were sit- ting twenty minutes away. Wow. I have since journeyed to these moun- tains and found them to be pleasantly cool, clean, and pine scented. It is a mystery to me why no one has bought them and taken them away. "Hey I" you' re say- ing, "is Tim giving us a fair report on this? How can this place, no, this veritable para- dise in the west, so lauded in song and show be in real life just an overcrowded, dumpy Des Moines with a bad lack of grass, water and class?" Well I guess per- haps in the 1800s when the hon- orable institution of Loma Linda was established, it may have been a beautiful spot, nestled in the high valley, with green mountains around, but these days it seems you can't see a piece of lush green para- dise without a six figure charge account and perhaps two orthree German automobiles. For the rest of us, there is reserved dirt, concrete, stucco, and housing in designer fashion colors. Such as tan-brown, red-brown, regu- lar brown and occasional lime green with orange doors. The freeways in Los Angeles are not as bad as you've heard, as long as you are driving at 3 a.m. Anytime between 7 a.m. and 8 p.m., however, could cause a little problem. 1 have yet to see anyone brandishing a pistol on the freeway, but I have seen several middle fingers waved in an unsavory manner. Often have I been sandwiched on an exchange, having the choice of hitting the Pinto on one side of me, causing the very large (This is not Tim)* man inside to show me how he can brandish his fists, or smacking the Ferrari F40 on the other side, with the ensuing brandishing of five or six lawyers. California, incidently is one of the only places on earth with more lawyers than doctors. I also have the sneaking suspicion that there may be more lawyers than air in southern California. During one re-run of Knight Rider. I counted six commercials for law firms (one of which promised money if you were in a motor- cycle accident even if the police report said it was your fault), and two commercials for trucking schools, and one each for underwater welding school and an insurance broker. There seems to be many places to eat, but they all are fast food orchain sit-down places, many of the better ones seem to be named after insane beings: "The Mad Greek, "El Polio Loco," and "The Crazy Cajun"~it makes me want to stop by the "Loopy Laplander" for lunch. Perhaps the new deli would like to follow a Califomian motif and be called "The Kooky Kerbs Chat." I guess there is lots to do, places to go, and people to laugh at. The beach is pretty pleasin' at night if the crowds go away, and the police aren't trying to clear it to curb gang vio- lence. Sixty degree weather isn't bad, not very interesting, but not bad. There are things to do, whether it be watching people steal car radios, paying $15 to go to church at the Crystal Cathe- dral, being shaken by smal 1 earthquakes, or watch- ing the home shopping channel in Spanish. All in all, California is far from a cross between a Beach Boys tune, "Three's Company," Sunkist commercials, and "CHIPS." No, the patrolmen aren't as cute as Ponce and Jon. But California isn't a bad as you might think at first smoggy glance—not quite. Tim Chapman is a Union College Alum who now attends Loma Linda University Med. school. He is natie of Austin "Spam Central" Minnesota, and is knownfor having coined the term "Hat-Hair" and for the chronicles of the infamous"Fred Yittleburg and Spot The Wonder Frog." College View 4130 S. 48th 10% Off r*g. pric* whin you •h«w your U. C. ID OPEN ALL YEAR! COLLEGE VIEW DAIRY QUEEN Eat in or carry-out 4130 South 48th Street 488-1559 760 West "O" Street 475-3406 December 12, 1991 Feature By Robb Crouch As if he has never been asked about his experience as a student missionary, Kevin Oberkramer effortlessly throws his school work to the side and takes the story telling stance. His face lights up, and he gets this huge teeth-filled smile. "How much time do you have?" He Pohnpei says this as he struggles not to laugh. Kevin spent a year in Pohnpei, a very small island in the South Pacific Ocean between Hawaii and Guam. He has no small stories though. Jumping up from his desk Kevin leaps to the other side of his room. On a shelf beside his bed he picks up a two-foot shark carved out of mangrove wood. "I had to do some careful trading to get this," he says. It was carved by a native and he used real shark teeth. Feel how sharp they are." Gently putting the shark down he moves on picking up some star-shaped orna- ments made from shells. He points out the detailed crafts- manship used in the intri- cate design. Stories and memories are shared with each memento. Kevin recorded memo- ries on film also. With his well-used Minolta he cap- tured over 1,100 memory triggering images. He is proud of his slides and looks forward to when he can share them with the student body. With time slipping away he insists that we look at them later. Pastimes Campus Paperback Bestsellers 1. Scientific Progress Goes "Bolnk," by Bill Wanereon. (Andrews & McMeel. $7.95.) Lales) Ca/vfri i Hobbes cartoons 2. You Just Don't Understand, by Deborah Tannen. (BaJlantine. $10.00.) How men and women can understand each other better 3. Memories of Midnight, by Sidney Sheldon (Warner, $5.99.) Vengeful Greek tycoon haunts the desbny of an American woman. 4. The Plaint of Passage, by Jean M. AueL (Bantam, $6.99.) Trekking across Europe during the ice age. 5. Four Past Midnight, by Stephen King. (Signet, $6.99.) Late-night hours Hied vwth horror and terror. 8. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Steven R Covey. (Fireside, $9.95.) Guide to personal fuHMmem 7. Possession, by A. S. Byatt (Vintage, $1200.) The relationship between two Victorian poets as seen by two British academics 8. The Education of Little Tree, by Forrest Carter. (Univ. of New Mexico, $1096 ) Growing up with the Cherokee way of life. 9. Unnatural Selection, by Gary Larson. (Andrews, 1 McMeel. $7.95.) CoHedion of Fir Skk cartoons. 10. The mtt, by Peter David. (Pocket, $4.99.) New Star Trek adventures. New G Recommended m at Snv M«u>y, Pwn 9mb Bt n, UmvMy Pa*. PA The New Russians, by Hedrick Smith. (Avon, $13.00.) Smith re-visits the Soviet Union lor a remarkable new look at its people, politics and staggering internal turmoil. Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher and William Ury. (Penguin, $8.95.) Oilers a concise, step-by-slep, proven strategy lor corning to mutually acceptable agreements in every sort ol conflict My Son's Story, by Nadtoe Gordimer. (Penguin, $9.95.) Brings alive the anguishing pull between family lite and political action, and the power of apartheid behind the changes in South Africa today. association or amkmcam puhjsmmma tonal amocuton or coixkc stows "Well, enough about all my stuff," he says. "I want to tell you about the exciting work I did over there with the Lord's help. It was fantastic." You may be wondering what the big deal is about going over seas to be a student missionary on small island. Well, to many Union College students it is a very big deal. They are excited about the Student Missionary program at Union and love to tell anyone who is willing to listen. For thirty-two years, Union College has had an active Student Missionary (SM) pro- gram. It started in 1959 when several students wanted a mis- sion outreach program on the campus. The very first SM from Union was a student who spent the summer in Mexico. Since then, over 350 students have par- ticipated in the program. "Students wanted expo- sure to missionary life and cul- ture," says Rich Carlson, Union College Chaplain. "They also wanted to see the world picture of the Adventist church." Every year the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists collects available SM positions from around the world andpublicizes them in a call book which is distributed to Adventist colleges and universities around the world. From this, students choose a call that interest them. Before they can accept the call they must follow the application process: Fill out forms, obtain several recommendations, re- ceive approval from Dean's Council and appear before a board of former student Missionaries. After the call is taken, the student is responsible for raising the money for the air fare. Under certain circumstances donated funds may be made available to students who are unable to raise the total amount. Students who return to Union after their missionary adventure love to share their experience. "I was excited to return to school and share my experience," says Oberkramer. "Per- haps I can encourage someone who is thinking about being a student missionary to go for it!" Michele Sparks and Kerri Zeelau are excited about the time they spent in Borneo this summer. Anyone who has heard them tell "The Snake Story" knows. Michele and Kerri dual up to tell a great story of a snake capturing esca- pade. As the two throw the details of the expe- rience back and forth they are sure to get a laugh out of any listener. "It was great," Sparks says with em- phasis. "I'm so glad I was able to go. With all this excitement about the SM program it makes you want to check into some available calls. If that were the case you would see Rikki Stenbakken. Stenbakken is the stu- dent missionary director at Union College and she loves to talk to students about opportunities. According to her the European calls go the fastest. "Union, though, has a reputation for accepting calls on islands such as Pohnpei, Ebeye and Majuro," Stenbakken says. Stenbakken was a SM to Costa Rica last school year where she worked for Adventist World Radio. Her responsibilities included translating English programs and announcing. Students don't go over seas for a vacation and they receive more than just fun memories. When asked what personal gain was received from his SM experience, Oberkramer feels he is more responsible and respectful of other cultures. "I was able to travel quite a bit and I came in contact with many different cultures," he explains. "You can read about them all you want in books but you just can't get an idea what they are like until you can experience it for yourself." Sitting back down at his desk Kevin gets a little more serious. "Because being a student Mission- ary is so much fun you can get a little carried away telling just the good stuff," he says. "It's not all fun and games. It's a lot of very hard work and you hit some big hills that you don't encounter everyday going to school in America. But that shouldn't discourage any- one." Kevin doesn't advise everyone to be a student missionary. He suggests that you talk to as many previous student missionaries as possible and pray about it. "It's a challenging experience to sud- denly receive so much responsibility—you learn to depend on God a lot." December 12, 1991 Some Stuff Cool Yule By Jim Mules I was on a mission—a mission for our great editor and grand poobah Bubbles Pfeiffer. My objective was to occupy Twisters and check out the myriads of recording artists who had Christmas albums on the market. My search brought me to the usuals—Dolly Parton, Frank Sinatra, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Barry Manilow, and Elvis (yep folks, even Elvis did one). But some more curious oddities came across my searching eye. One was James Brown's "Santa's Got a Brand New Bag" album (Heeeeeeuuuuuuggggghhhhhh!!!). An album called "Just in Time for Christmas" had Wall of Voodoo's Christmas classic "Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun for Christmas." It also had a song by one of my personal favorites, Dred Zeppelin, who sing Zeppelin covers in reggae style while their singer does an Elvis impression. The "Rockin Little Christmas" album contained songs titled, "Surfin' Santa," "Mambo Santa Mambo," and "I'm Gonna Lasso Santa Claus." Another bizarre album was "Bummed Out Christ- mas." Songs like "Christmas Eve Can Kill You," "Christ- mas in Jail," and "Santa Claus got a DWI," must be destined to become fireside classics. However, my favorite of all the strange albums I came across was the Bob Rivers Comedy Group's "Twisted Christmas." It contains beauties like "12 Pains of Christmas," "We Wish You Weren't Living With Us," "Wreck the Malls," "O Come all ye Grateful Dead- Heads," and "I'm Dressin' up Like Santa (When I get out on Parole)." Surely your Christmas will be made more colorful if you purchase one of these albums. US DepartmentolTiansfjortaton Ever Get Somebody Totally Wasted! FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS DRIVE DRUNK 8 December 12, 1991 Also Top-Twenty Reasons Union College Should Become a University: 20. Militant school spirit. 19. Spiffy basketball mascot, John "Buckskin" Buxton. 18. Obvious location of the '96 Sum mer Olympics. 17. University-sized tuition. 16. High-tech, state of the art, com- puter terminals in every room. 15. Excellent summer session curriculum. 14. Bureaurocratic eminence Midwest Computer Systems. 13. Dashing faculty nicknames (Smokin' Joe, Frosty, and Stumpy). 12. "Daily" quality newspaper. 11. Never faced NCAA probation for anything. 10. 9. 7. 6. 4. 3. 2. 1. Abundance of campus squir rels for lab experiments. Ample, safe parking system. Statue and pigeon-free park- like setting. Immense research library. Excellent Juris Education Depart ment. (Freshmen: look it up.) Plethora of fine eating establish- ments on campus. Existing athletic facilities for 2,000 NCAA quality basketball team. Impressive initials: UU Open-minded, Ivy-league, aca- demic atomosphere. Personals Tracy Cash You would have met your match, but now you will never know. Jeff The Denver Broncos will win it All—But then again maybe they won't MP All personals and responses should be sent the The Clockbox in the UC Bookstore. The Personals section is a FREE service o f The Clocktower. filled bi- weekly on a first come; first serve basis. Top Ten Things Seen and Heard At the ASB Banquet 10. Shannan Nelson—under the not heard category. Where are your lungs Mr. President? 9. Ryan "Fingers-of-Gold" Wells tick- ling the ivory. Is that legal? We'll ask Mark Smith and Shawn Nowlan. 8. Three measure baritone sax solo. Definitely broke new ground in this musical genre. 7. "Binckley, party of six, yourtable is ready!!" Oh our fault, that was at Lazlo's. Only a 15 minute wait there. 6. Missy Severns—A new inductee in to the Splendid Backs of the Mid-West Club. 5. The Dessert both heard and seen. Exactly how long was that sitting out. See Websters under "Food Poisoning." 4. Eternally playing a piercing note on one's glassware. 3. Shoveling Pre-chewed leftovers on the disposable table-cloths. 2. "If you have to skin it, don't eat it." 1. "How much did that long, white Lincoln and ticked driver cost you anyway?" Top-Ten Famous and Infamous Union College Alumni: 10. Randy of the Redwoods. Associate in Art 1978. Randy slogged through eight years of intensive study after that unfortu- nate summer job working in Jerry Garcia's greenhouse. 9. Connie Chung. Working closely with Professor Greg Rumsey for three sum- mers in the mid-eighties, Ms. Chung earned a BA in journalism in '87. 8. David Letterman. Attended UC for two unsuccessful years on an athletic schol- arship, but was lured away by Ball State in •75. 7. Nikita Krushchev. During the Stalinist purges came to UC on the Student Exchange program. Nikki, as he was lpiown here, commented that Lincoln weather re- minded him of his homeland. 6. O. Osborne and all the members of his band. Attended every SDA college at least one semester (Except SAC). This strange phenomenon plays a part in the lives of several other notables, such as Prince, Magic Johnson and Lawrence Welk. 5. Alfredo Garcia. Manager of sev- eral famous San Francisco bands, attended for the fall semester in 1961, but was ex- pelled for not reaching the required number of worship credits. 4. John Sununu. While never attend- ing Union College, he was turned down twice for unsatisfactory GED scores. 3. Woody Harrelson and most of the cast of Cheers were required to take Speech from Dr. William Fitts, during the summer of '85. 2. William H. Bonnie A.K. A. Brushy Bill Roberts. Though thought to be dead in the late 1880s, "Billy" as he was known at UC, founded the Campus Security depart- ment in 1897. 1. R. Plant, J. Page, J.P. Jones, and J. Bonham. Never graduated, dropped out after first successful performance together at the UC Student Talent Show, May 1968 December 12, 1991 9 Battle Ground where? Was there actually a battle there or is this just commercialism? Hmmmm!! m^m^maag^msKM Ldvc is Blind, God is Love Conclusion: Stevie Wonder is God??? Poetry Mirror An Eternal Moment By Byard W. Parks I gaze across the expanse of glassy sea; Shimmering and Shining It appears a mirrored sheet of ice to me. The sky above rolls as if comes an anxious storm; Churning and Whirling The impending scene provokes the boiling cloudy form. The river of Life, a glistening mercury bed, Dazzling and Electrifying Gracefully it's silver path winds from the Godhead. Like sunshine igniting diamonds is the spectre 'round the throne; Shocking and Radiant The Palette from which all the universes' color is sown. Beyond harbors the captivating serene of deepest space; Vast and Eternal A translucent sapphire, known only to this peculiar place. Before my Creator lies my name to be judged; Omnipotent vs. finite My record open, all sooty, black and smudged. With a voice like thunder and eyes as lightening, Pounding and Pulsating While God searches my soul my senses igniting! "Son," He says to Jesus sitting next to Him, Powerful but Pondering "Is this a friend of yours ~ so scarred by sin?" "A friend?" Questions Christ in a hesitating tone. (I Wondering but Trusting) "No Father, much more. Why, this is one of our own!" Jesus' eyes dance with whimsical glee; Priding and Loving He opens wide His arms and beckons me. The Spirit breaths a joyful sigh in a job well done; Relieved and Rejoicing Delighted in a fight well fought and a race well run. So rapt is the Father, He quietly sings a lullaby; Soft and Soothing A deep and earnest love song, bringing tears to my eyes. Suddenly, I understand heavens purpose and design; Reuniting and Coalescing God's gift: an eternal moment between man and Divine! By Manish Raj Pandey Where am I going? I bustle through the exploding sea of human bodies of the subway. The train comes and I head for my destination. Every day is the same. It's a struggle; it's a challenge; Exhaustion, fatigue are an integral part of my regimented life. I have lost my feelings. I have lost my purpose and my identity. I am going through the motions like a machine on an assembly line. I look around: Everyone else seems to be engrossed in the same routine; Everyone else is just as occupied and pensive. Why is there pain on our faces? Why are agony and dissatisfaction so prevalent? Why does life have to be so somber? What is our purpose? I approach the mirror in front of me. I ask the image, "Who are you?" Sometimes it takes a mirror to find oneself. SPEND A YEAR IN CHINA TEACHING ENGLISH This will be one of the most rewarding years of your life Opportunities are now open for qualified college graduates to teach in government schools in MAINLAND CHINA For more information contact: Dr. M. T. Bascom or Treva Burgess General Conference of SDA Teachers for China 12501 Old Columbia Pike Silver Spring, MD 20904 Phone:(301)680-6000 Fax: (301) 680-6090 1G December 12,1991 Vine The Vine Decks The Halls By The Burgundians The Vine is hear with its lovely and exciting Christmas gossip. Did you think that we would neglect you on this the last issue before the finest of all holidays? Well then as usual you weren't thinking. This is Christmas and you had better think or else Santa and his little elves will giveyouaboil on your nose and then you will be Rudolph. This wouldn't look good for those little family like cards that you will send to relatives you never see. So enjoy your- selves, but please be safe it does get rough out there in those hectic mall/halls of horror. Vine Christmas List!!! To Ericka McCoy—The elves hope that the snow in Colorado melts away so you can know what really happened. Though we want the snow because some do want to ski. To Jennifer Denny and Whitney Schauer— Remember to wrap your gifts yourselves, or stand in a long line at the counter. To Robyn Davidson—We grant you the greatest hits of James Brown including the lovely Christamas in jail album( or was that Elvis, he has been every where). To Travis Hand—a year supply hair gel, not just any hair gel, but ShopCo extra-strength. To Mark DelValle— numb- chucks(?), but being from non-violent Lincoln, and not the war torn Brooklyn they will be non-flammable of course. To Jason Fisher and Jennifer Pettijohn— granted a month of week- end leaves to your par- ents house...subject to review by Santa. Todd Koobs—We give you one more chance at long hair, so don't blow it this time. Chuckii Henrii--We Knight you and grant you a real sword and not some wooden rapier. Chester Cheetah—Gets a week of vacation to lick the orange dust off his paws. To room 472 Rees—two dozen Hoe Cakes. To Penny Roberts-a T-Shirt from the Tabor Center that says "I Said Hay Bartender." To Angie Mills and Ron "I Sing there for I am" Mahlo—A Barbie rock band set. Christmas Poem for your cultural en- hancement: The tree has both lights lit, So up close you can see it. Pretty blue, lovely red, When finals are through I'll Be brain dead. The squirrels are all fat, We live in a vat. This rhyme has no reason, Because it's the season. To give and to take, There is no mistake. The publication Clocktower, Has the all knowing power. So watch what you do, And hear what we say, . Or the Vine will be on you. Jim Morrison is like the brain, Oh what a strain, Aaron asks Stacie to be his wife, Some choose to have strife, Mark hangs with a Priest on the train. Professor Schroeder is a slave driver, Next to him the Inquisition pales, Maybe he should go into used-Auto sales. Julie Johnson is an ethereal beauty, A Christmas blessing in the distance of Korea, Due to the importance of this line, It didn't need to rhyme. Being veggie we find it best, And it is our behest, Since there are no collegians named Tess, Our campus should remain pork-less. Good-bye and good riddance. What a time it has been. To have the last dance. Don't be quick to edit, We hope you have your worship credit! Quote of the Week: "It's Christmas Baby, Please Come Home" U2—A Christmas Tune December 12, 1991 11 Sports College Football And The Warriors OSBORNE EYES ORANGE AS MONKEY LEA VES HIS BACK defense, it was Mitchell time. On the second drive, Osborne brought out the air arsenal. The drive was sustained with a sensational catch by Mitchell as he brought the ball down between two defend- ers. Nebraska threw the ball 12 times dur- ing the game. Some would say that was more than the Cornhuskers had thrown all season long, so why did Osborne pick the worst weather in the world to do it in? The truth of the matter is, that Nebraska aver- aged over 13 1/2 passes a game. But perhaps the greatest call of Tom Osborne's ca- reer was when he decided to go for the first down late in the fourth quarter, rather than to take a 2- point lead with a field goal. The decision paid off, as Calvin Jones scored a touchdown one play later. Finally, Osborne proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, to the darkest corners of the world, that he is truly one of the greatest coaches of all time. He put together a defense with one All-American and a handful of walk-ons. He put together an offense with a quarterback who, in his previous three years, had only snapped the ball three times in collegiate play. His offense gained more yards against Oklahoma in one half, in pouring rain, than most teams did in 60 minutes of sunshine. He coached himself into the right to play the number one team in the nation. The bookies that favor Miami by 10 1/2 don't realize the potential that the all-time winningest coach has instilled into his Huskers. So as Mr. Osborne sets his sights on Miami and waves good-bye to the mysterious Monkey, Nebraska fans worldwide can be proud of a truly great man, Tom Osborne. 3 - PERSON VOLLEYBALL STANDINGS A LEAGUE 1ST-TEAM 4 Mark Kelley Chris Tortal Jeffrey Kaious 2nd - TEAM 2 Barry Forbes Brad Forbes Byard Parks 3rd - TEAM 9 Michael Mille Terry Bock Bob Bretsch Corey Bretsch B-LEAGUE 1ST-TEAM 11 Doug Nesmith Greg Hagele Jeff Scoggins 2nd-TEAM 14 Jim Gaul Roger Hagen Scott Walgren Dawn Strnad 3rd-TEAM 15 Loralee Blanchfield Jeanne McWilliams Jayna Krueger Kelly Schebo TOP FAVORITES ON CAMPUS 1). FOOTBALL -30% 2). BASKETBALL - 27% 3). BASEBALL - 19% 4). HOCKEY - 14% 5). VOLLEYBALL - 10% MONEY FOR COLLEGE Every student is eligible for some type of financial aid regardless of grades or parental income. Financial Aid Available Immediately! Special grants program Every student eligible No one turned down Simple application Send name, address and $1 P&H fee (refundable) to: Student Services P. O. Box 22-4026 Hollywood, FL 33022 RESULTS GUARANTEED. By Shannon Nelson Tom Osborne got his Thanks- giving wish with the Cornhuskers' 19-14 victory over the air-less Sooners. With the win, Nebraska earned its share of the Big Eight title and a trip to the Orange Bowl to play the number one ranked Hurricanes. But perhaps even more im- portant than a trip to Miami, Tom Osborne got the Monkey offhis back. Hecklers of the Huskers have been haggling the team for not being able to win the big game or beat a top ranked opponent. Well, Tom Osborne killed two birds with one or- ange. Not only did the Cornhuskers win the big game, but they did it against a ranked team with one of the best defenses in the country. No longer can the Cornhuskers' critics say that Osbome can't win the big one. In addition to the above, Osbome put to rest the rumors that he was a poor motivator, Mr. Conservative, and that he really wasn't sure what a passing game was. Nebraska came out in the second half and put on a clinic. The openingdrive started outwithnine straight carries by Derek Brown for 44 yards (By the way, Brown is the CLOCKTOWER'S vote for the Heisman.) Osborne molded his soggy troops into the infamous Big Red Fighting Machine. However, the moti- v a t i o n didn't end with the opening drive of the sec- ond half. After the blackshirts held the Sooners off with 12: December 12, 1991