see datins • NEWS Wednesday, September 27 Page 2 one knows how ^fc ^^ much longer the nice weather will last, but while it's still fairly warm, you've gotta go to Snowflakes. It's at 107 N. 27th. (Like on the corner of 27th and 0.) The have the best snow-cones you'll ever lick. In 87 flavors, too, from cherry cola to wedding cake, (which tastes exactly like a wedding cake. Weird.) Anyways, their snow cones are only a dollar 75 each and 80 calo- ries...forget ice cream. This melty, slurpy treat far surpasses anything with disease- ridden milk in it. Walk, run, fly, drive to Snowflakes. It's a family owned busi- ness, and the man at the counter will let you taste up to five fla- vors, unless there's a long line. Flips, springs, and leaps Hannah Lunt Reporter "I love gymnastics!" "This is awesome because we don't normally get this much time to practice or this much specialized help." "I like having the chance to work on new tricks." These enthusiastic comments came from Holly, Krista, and Christina,gym- nasts from Sunnydale Academy. They were three of about ISO college and academy students who participated in the 1995 gymnastics clinic at Union College on September 28-30. Teams came from Mile High, Sunnydale, Platte Valley, Enterprise,and Dakota Adventist Academy. Francis Allen and his team of coach- es from the University of Nebraska- Lincoln worked with gymnasts at the tumbling stations during practice on Friday. The university shared not only their coaches, but also the use of their tumbling trampoline and spring floor. Other special guests of the weekend included coaches and gymnasts from three competitive acrosport teams in Missouri: Rising Star from Kansas City, Dance Unlimited Acrostars from Troy, and Mid-America Aero and Tumbling from Saint Louis. Their com- bined expertise, especially in women's pair and women's trio moves, added to the training available at the aero sta- tions. Denison Sager, Mile High Academy coach, taught mixed pair and men's four moves, and Union's own Ric Spaulding worked with mixed pair and men's pair. After a long day of intense practice on Friday, the gymnasts were to relax and enjoy the Sabbath—sore muscles and all. Tony Minear spoke at the spe- cial Friday night vespers program in the gym and, appropriate to his audi- ence, he used a three-high to illustrate one of his points. Minear also provided a sundown worship for the students before the Saturday night program. Saturday night's exhibition started with a special tumbling demonstration by some of the UNL gymnasts. Three men and three women from the univer- sity team, along with two young boys from the Nebraska School of Gymnastics, awed the crowd with their agility and skill. Coach Francis Allen, who announced this part of the pro- gram, told the audience, "This is our third year to help with a performance at the Union College clinic. I hope that ten years from now we can say it is our 13th year." Union College hopes so too! The rest of the program, emceed by Pastor Jeff Deming, continued with routines by DAA, Mile High, Helen Hyatt, Enterprise, and Union College. A special women's quad routine came from Sunnydale, and two mixed pair routines came from Mile High, includ- ing Denison Sager with Abbey Page— the level two silver medalists at Nationals this summer. The clinic proved once again to be a great success, according to UC assis- tant coach Cindy Spaulding. "There weren't any injuries—that's how I mea- sure the success of a clinic!" Not only was it safe, but it was fun too. Buzz Words A jolt of electricity went down my spine as I entered the gymnasium. Excitement oozed throughout. Brightly colored clothing and paint- ed faces, like the faces of fanatic sports fans at Husker games, greeted me as I walked around. What in Carmen was going on? This was the seventh annual Almost Anything Goes tournament. Almost Anything Goes is an opportunity for classes to compete against each other for fame, honor, and fortune. As I walked around surveying the scene, I dis- covered on each corner of the gym, each class had set up their own booth adorned with their class color. Everyone wore a shirt that corre- sponded to their class color. I couldn't help but notice the infemo-hot red corner of the juniors, where a big chili pepper hung from above. Unionaires started the program by singing a rousing rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner." Then a long cheer rang out and the fes- tivities kicked off. The first assignment was for each class to devise a class chant. While the freshmen, sophomores, and juniors chanted their class spirit in a more traditional way, the senior class rapped "We Came, We Saw, We Conquered" to a heavy drum beat. "A rap? We aren't in L.A.!" exclaimed Jamie Burishkin. The first event was called "Snuggle." The game required a male and a female, snuggled chest to chest, to pull a small rubber innertube down from their heads to their feet. The class who got the most couples through the innertube won. After the event, I asked Bert Hernandez what he thought of the game. "It rocked, baby!" he shouted in my face. He had a point of truth to his statement. Not too many times do you get to snuggle with someone who you might not know. The next event, called "Slap Happy," involved trying to whack a puck hockey-style through a goal. This proved to be a challenging event, as evidenced by the rare cheer heard when some- one shot a puck in the goal. "Little Hoops" fol- lowed. Participants shot a nerf basketball through a basketball hoop. The traditional shot form gave way to a one-handed granny shot for the sake of accuracy. The following event, "Postapedia Pass," proved to be the most fun and challenging event of the night. Each class lay in two rows, passing a mattress with a person riding on top. The trick to this event was for the girl on top to stay on throughout her entire ride as the people below Almost Bruce Chan Reporter passed the mattress as quickly as possible. "It was so hard to stay on," exclaimed Kylie Eckenroth. "It was a very jostling and bumpy ride." Julee Means experienced • true bumpiness when she fell off the mattress and hit someone below. The "Rope Grope," Union's name for the tug-of- war, pitted class against class to see who possessed the most physical strength. The first contest matched the freshman against the juniors. Tension mounted as each class refused to budge. Spectators on the sidelines chanted, "Go, go, go," to the underdog freshman class. Finally, inch by inch, the junior class pulled away for the victory. The next match involved the sophomores against the seniors. The seniors lost as the sophomores pulled away with an My hand got crushed several times when she sat on it instead of the balloon. anonymous contestant as they beat the seniors for the runner-up posi- tion. At the end, the sophomores pulled away in victory. The "Nerf Girth" and the "Bopper Popper" con- cluded the festivities. The "Nerf Girth" involved each class member throwing a nerf football through two people who made a hoop with their arms. For the "Bopper Popper," a couple ran to the middle of the gym while holding hands. While running, the guy blew up a balloon for the girl to sit on once they reached the middle of the gym. "My hand got crushed several times when she sat on it instead of the balloon," said one contestant who declined to give his name. The junior class accumulated the most points easy victory. The freshmen proved their strength during the events. Winning Almost Anything Goes isn't new for the class. They have won three years in a row, becoming the first class to do so in the history of the contest. But more than winning, Almost Anything Goes was about class spirit and unity. Reflecting on the event, event coordinator Joe Parmele was pleased by the participation and spirit of Almost Anything Goes. "I am very satisfied with the turnout and enthusiasm tonight. It has been much better than the last couple years. The class officers must be commended for their hard work in setting up the booths and organizing their classes." Many of the students praised the event. "It's a great event. It is an opportunity for the class- es to touch each other. When we physically touch each other, the barriers are down; we become closer," said Valerie Ostrowicki, Jeff Boyd summed up Almost Anything Goes in these words: "I'm out of breath, hot, and hav- ing a blast!" Bruce Chan is a sophomore physician assis- tant major from Clovis, Calif. He likes roses and ASB events. ALMOST ANYTHING GOES: Students and parents line up along the gymnasium floor to test their lung expansion ability. Face paint seems to egg on a wild side in these people, and a streaked student yells hysterically at the ball. Did. you hear Hicks? Sophie Anderson Reporter "What audience is your favorite?" we asked. "Awake." The comeback was immediate. Steven Hicks and Jerry Cohagan, a cele- brated Christian comedy duo from Kansas City, performed Friday night, September 15, in the College View Church for a packed throng of campus and community members. And who could sleep? Though lively banter kept the rafters continually echoing with mirth, beneath the light-heart- ed jesting weighed significant messages. While gently poking fun at human flaws, they fed their listeners food for thought. Hicks and Cohagen have performed since 1975 where they first met at a small Christian college in Idaho. While they have performed extensively for Christian com- munities across the US, Canada, and Mexico and have produced a wide variety of TV programs, videos, and cassettes, they still claim that they're only simple guys with a simple message. They want to subtly change the way peo- ple think, to give a fresh spin and new life to old topics. After all the laughter, they really feel only satisfied when someone responds "I never thought of that before!" Quote dujour 4 iIf it had grown up," she said to herself, wit would have made a dreadfully ugly child; "but it makes a rather handsome pig." And she began thinking over other children she knew who would do well y * as pigs. —Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland "Religion is more than talk," Hicks said. "It's not routine or dos and don'ts. It's sim- ple!" he adds. With their incredible facial expressions, constant comebacks, political quips, and spur-of-the-moment cracks, they kept the audience with them constantly. "It was clean humor," Alana Foote, sophomore deciding major, said appreciat- ingly. She thought their timing and facial expressions were incredible. She said that the monologue of Peter was especially powerful. In addition, she liked how Jesus was presented as :< lsgular guy, joking around with his disciples and even making light of Peter's flaws. Many in the audience felt they saw a much more personal God than they had previously imagined him. Though they often made gentle wise- cracks about certain SDA standards, people could hardly take offense. "They're funny," Kimberly Beach, a sophomore theology/ youth ministry major, summed it up. "It's good for us to know we [SDAs] are not the only people onthis earth." "They made their rehearsed lines look so spontaneous," Kim commented. Yet "it looked like they were actually chuckling unrehearsed at each other sometimes," Kari Lunde, a senior psychology major recalled. Specializing in intelligent, mature enter- tainment, where do they come up with the ideas for their hilarious sketches? "We steal," Cohagen returned unabashed. Making the Bible their inspiration, one way or other, they write and work to perfect their own scripts. Their material, gleaned from common expe- riences in life, is well-received by any audience. "The life experience of everyone is different," Hicks stated. "We hope someone will always pick something up. It all depends on where they're at." "Don't take that the way I meant it," one goofed to the other. TTteir message included the idea that most Christians have normal spiritual vision. We're perfectly blind. Words must be backed up with actions. "We want to remind ourselves that faith is vital still. We need to get reacquainted with the One who calls us by His Name. God has no grandchildren." To show this fresh perspective was the reason why they took our time. Why they liked it here BY KYLIE ECKENROTH "I love this place," said Ernie Reynolds of Walsenburg, Colo., a visitor at Union College's Public High School College Days. On September 22-24, twenty-seven public high school students and ten parents met on Union's campus for a weekend prepared just for them. Students attended academic and financial meetings, went to classes, toured Lincoln, visited Omaha's zoo, ate meals prepared by faculty and local restau- rants, worshiped at vespers and church services, and participated in one of Union's most energetic Saturday night programs-class games. Dr. Larry Ray also presented Union's new Best of Both Worlds program which will offer up to 33 new degrees in conjunction with local universities. This weekend was absolutely free. Union supplied meals and housing, reimbursed the students for their travel, and even made sack lunches for the trip home. Nineteen applications have been received as a result of this weekend. Tim Simon, Director of Enrollment Services, says he hopes to double the number of visiting students next year. However, he says that he likes working with a small group-a more intimate setting is more conducive to the com- munication process. Simon says that the students liked Union's academics as well as the smallness of the school. "They like the one-on-one ratio." - Ben Dickerson of Cedar Rapids, Iowa agreed. He observed that Union's staff is ready to bend over backwards to get students enrolled. "I've been on larger SDA Christian campuses," he says, "but I really like it here." The majority of overall impressions of Union involved the positive Christian atmosphere and the friendliness of the students. For many students, this will be their first time in a Christian school. So, why are they choosing a Christian college? Dickerson says he enjoyed the church service. "It was really nice to see the joy here," he added. shove your head by Bret Schfisner Yo. I'm in South America now. I just thought I'd call and say hi. Well, I've romped in cities that are higher in elevation than an/ mountain in the con- tinental United States. I've seen Lake Titicaca and used some really, uh, clean bathrooms, huh huh. Anyway, one of the most interesting things I've seen is how rich everyone is here. I mean, the Adventist Church pays its top Bolivian workers $4,200 a year. Rico. Everyone here is a tycoon. Really. Would I lie' Well, anyway, I and some other Americans went to this pre-lncan sun worship temple in Peru. It was one of those things that is so ripping that you wanna rave about its fan- tastic beauty in a column called "Shave Your Head," but you just can't put it into words. That's what I thought, too. Yeah, and I was climbing on the 47-foot silos of sol-search when I saw these 8-year- old ragamuffins darting around, swinging slings like they were David and hucking the rocks over this spectacular lake at the bot- tom of this cliff that was approximately 247.47 feet below. I have a sling of my own, ya know, and I wanted to show these little rich kids how it's done. (Oh, by the way, their job was to throw the rocks and then charge tourists to take pictures of them.) So, anyway, I grabbed a sling and began twirling it, as if Goliath were rising up out of the lake 200 feet below, and I'm looking up at him, 447 feet tall. I popped the sling to hurl the rock off the cliff, but, uh, well, the sling jetted the rock two feet from my shoes. There the sling went, a piece of matted, braided llama hair flopping through the air like a great blue heron with vertigo. Everyone in the area waited for me to breathe. I just barfed out, "Uuaaaahhhh," as this kid's money-making tool flopped into oblivion. The Americans all fell on the dirt with their lips plastered to their ears as if they had just seen the OJ trial end with Oj cat- apulting out of his wheelchair like at the end of Naked Gun Guffaw, guffaw. The three Peruvian slingers ran to the edge of the cliff, looked down, and descend- ed the cornice. I stood there with my arm still extended to Goliath's cirrus , arms, wondering something or other. Probably other. The kid whose sling I'd hucked-let's call him Don Juan—said that I owed him five soles (which is $2.50 to you and me) but all that I had in my wallet was an old receipt from Super Saver and my Amigo'sVIP card. Don was tugging on my jacket, insinuating that he'd trade it for the sling. Yeah. (If you hadn't already guessed, I was joking when I said those boys were rich kids.) So some Americans gave Don's friend a buck in mixed currency coins and told them all to get lost. Meanwhile, I was climbing down the cliff trying to find that heron. While I was descending, I thought I'd pray ~ to find this poor boy's sling, and as soon as I said, "Amen," there the sling was, falling from the heavens like God's crown of vic- tory. The end. Just kidding. The prayer that was answered was the one that I please not die while searching for a lump of llama fur. When I returned, I thought Don and his boys were gonna jump me and suffocate me with their licey, slimy hair. I couldn't under- stand their dialect So at our tourist van, the Americans told me they had paid the boys already and we "The three Peruvian slingers ran to the edge of the cliff, looked down, and descended the cornice." should go, and no one else would lend me any more money to give to these kids. Realizing that they were lying about the money, I considered that maybe the sling went haywire because it was old and ratted and frayed and the hook was broken. What if they had found it when they ascended right after I threw it, and it was now in their pockets with the cameras and sunglasses that we tourists had "misplaced?" Even if they were rogue, scumbag thieves, I still wanted to give this kid a fifty-dollar bill to feed his family for a year. But—slam! The van door hitched in its rubber and metal home and our exhaust clouded Don's air. I don't even think the boy was breathing. He wasn't smiling. Nor crying. Nor yelling. Nor nothing. Just frowning. Nor there. Was he trying to bamboozle my paranoid, tourist self? Or are the boy and his family going to die because I threw his ticket to freedom into the pit of despair? All I know is that his soiled, blank face was screaming out to me in Spanish, "Please, just chop my hair off and I'll forget about the whole thing." Bret welcomes chain letters and coinage. •fcto-.. tmmmrammmmmm—mmmmmwmmmmmmmmm GYMNASTICS CLINIC, Friday, Sept. 29.Ben Valentin keeps a steady concentration on balanc- ing his partner on his shoulders. ONE, TWO, THREE THIS WORLD Wednesday, September 27 Page 4 Search The Kitchens OfThe Woild For Our Recipes. And Garage Sales For Our Decor. Our chefs spend weeks creating recipes like Linguini with Shrimp, Spicy Cajun Chicken Pasta, and Fried Mozzarella.And our interior decorators spend those same weeks scouring the coun- tryside for just the right snowshoe, tuba or wagon wheel. Put them all together and you have the perfect, fun place to eat: T.G.I.Friday's.® 48th and O 467-4007 Columnist I'm Not a Democrat, I'm Not a Republican It used to be you could register as "independent" to express dissatisfaction with "party politics" but not anymore. Ross Perot and supporters are attempting to launch a new political party which could have dramatic effects on the '96 presidential elec- tions. His "Independence Party" is targeting the reported 62% of voters who have told pollsters they don't feel represented by the Democratic or Republican parties. Perot did not say whether he would run in 1996, either as a candidate for the new party or as an independent. He did say, however, that this new party would not be owned by the ever menacing "special interests." Supporters in California are working hard to collect the 890,000 signatures nec- essary to put the party on the state's ballot by next month's deadline. They will also work on meeting Maine and Ohio's '95 deadlines. The rest of the states will be tack- led in '96 if interest in the third party continues. A national primary is scheduled for next April and the winner will go on the bal- lots in all SO states. Most experts agree, however, that the chances of a third party actually winning the presidential election are nil. The party's wildly "independent" platform includes: passage of a balanced budget amendment and congressional cam- paign and ethics reform. New York Times, Sept. 22,1995 She's a Happy Preacher The Sligo Seventh-day Adventist church in Takoma Park, Maryland is the sec- ond-largest Adventist congregation in this country. This 3,000 member church has boldly stepped out and broken tradition with the Adventist denomination by ordain- ing three women as pastors. On July 5, the Seventh-day Adventist World Conference voted down a measure giving the church's 11 divisions the right to individually decide on the issue. In response to this action the Sligo church voted to go ahead and "affirm women in ministry." While the Adventist church has allowed seminary- trained women to perform all the functions of pastors, it has not allowed them to be ordained. Alfred C. McClure, president of the church in North America, said that the younger generation of church members in America and Canada would be "seriously disillusioned by a negative vote" on the issue of ordaining women. Leaders of the Sligo church feel they are setting a historic precedent in a denomination founded in 1863 by a woman. Afew York Times, Sept. 23,1995 No Rubles, No Electricity Just how short on cash the Russian military has become was recently demonstrated when armed sailors of the Northern Fleet forced the duty engineer to restore power to a nuclear subma- rine base in Northern Russia. Northern Fleet Forces took "tem- porary control" of all substations serving nuclear installations after the power cutoff caused a submarine's cooling system to fail and its reactors to overheat. The outage also left four decom- missioned nuclear subs without outside power. The Kola Peninsula power authority had cut electricity to the base because of the $4.5 million debt owed by the fleet. "It's true the fleet owes the company a lot of money," said Northern Fleet spokesman Vladimir Kondriyanenko. "But almost every state-run organization, including the military, has some debts." Jhe navy denied there was any danger of a nuclear incident, but this is not the first time there has been a "power struggle" in Russia. Since 1992 there have been 16 cases of power being cut to military installa- tions for non-payment of bills. Earlier this year power was cut to several air traffic control centers in Central Russia while many planes were airborne. In each case, though, power was restored after a partial payment. In one instance in the Far East, a base commander used a tank to expedite getting his power turned back on—demon- strating that some adjust to the free market quicker than others. New York Times, Sept. 22,1995 The Gods Are Drinking Milk What does the god of learning drink? Not coffee as some have suspected. On September 21, thousands of people in India rushed to Hindu temples across the land after it was reported that statues of gods were miraculously drinking milk! Bearing milk in various containers people converged on temples that housed reproductions of Ganesh, the elephant headed god of learning. So great were the masses of people converging on temples throughout India that riot police and the army were called out to maintain order. The excitement began, according to a priest in New Delhi, when a worshiper dreamed that the elephant god wanted milk. When the man held a spoonful of milk near the god's trunk the milk disappeared! Word spread quickly and worshipers lined up at temples to offer the gods milk. Rumors that this was a hoax were quickly dis- missed. "It cannot be a hoax," exclaimed Parmesh Soti, a business executive who stood in line with an offering of milk. "Where would all the milk being offered go? It is such a small idol, it can't take in so much. The gods surely have come down to earth to solve our problems." Milk shortages were reported in numerous places. In Calcutta cafes stopped serv- ing milk with tea and instead sold it for ten times the normal price. Reports of this miracle were so widespread that the federal Department of Science and Technology was sent to investigate. Scientists offered milk mixed with colored pigments to a statue in a temple at New Delhi. The milk disappeared from the spoon but soon coat- ed the statue. Scientists attributed the phenomenon to surface tension, saying mole- cules of milk were pulled from the spoon by the texture of the statue. The Indian government has accused two right-wing groups of spreading false reports to excite Hindu nationalism in order to gain votes in next year's elections. New York Times, Sept. 22, 1995 OPINION Wednesday, September 27 Page 5 Editor Jackie Ostrowicki Assistant Editor Amanda Krehbici Copy Editor Jeremy Cornfbrth News/Feature Editor FabiolaVatcl Sports Editor Nick Bock Arts and Entertainment Editor Brian Ruckle Photo Editor Kent Shea Design/Layout Jackie Ostrowicki Amanda Krehbici Ad Manager Kris tine EUiston News Writers Sophie Anderson Emily Hoffineier Alison Stewart Hannah Lunt Teri Skultety Lee Bowes Faculty Advisor Chris Blake Printer Nebraska Printing Special Thanks Teri Skultety Marsha Cleveland The Chat Clocktower is the biweekly pub- lication of Union College's Associated Student Body. The views expressed here do not nec- essarily reflect the view of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, Union College, ASB, or the edito- rial staff. The editors reserve the right to determine the content of the Clocktower. Our office is located in the Love Building on the Union College campus. Our address is 3800 South 48th Street, Lincoln, NE 68506. We can be reached by phone at (402) 486-2091 or by e- Quick Answer, Sojry Soul Minds that can sprout sound bites at the sight of a microphone and the ubiquitous camera are wired differently from mine. When I see such a trap ahead I duck through the nearest door that isn't a ladies' room. Soren Kierkegaard from a former century and Johnnie Cochran from this one fit the category of spin doctors who excelled in sidewalk smart talk. Their off-the-cuff com- ments ape spontaneous combustion. Some of us like our questions in advance, fol- lowed by a six-month study leave and the assurance that the reply can be in writing. Aspirants to high office know all about this. Next to the fear of losing an election is the dread of meeting the media. They train harder than Andre Agassi lest they be ambushed by probing reporters. Aides pep- per them with likely questions and critique their responses. At length each perfects an arsenal of catchy phrases to toss out to queries regarding whatever happens to be the public mood of the moment. The real trick is to sneak planks from the party plat- form into their answers irrespective of the questions. Thankfully, no one asked me what I thought about dining in public restaurants on Sabbath. I try to distance myself from the distractions of everyday commerce on the day of worship. Standing in hopes of an eventual dinner bears some resemblance to jockeying for position on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. Waiting in long lines leaves me feeling like Marcia Clark will feel at the end of the O J. Simpson trial. This is an open forum for issues you want to talk about. You can e-mail the editor at cltower(@ucol- lege.edu), write via snail-mail to Clocktower, 3800 S. 48th Street, Lincoln, Ne, 68506, or drop a note in the edi- tor's mailbox. No anonymous letters are accepted. A yes or no answer doesn't seem to work well when asked if I would ever eat in a public restaurant on Sabbath. Either one will alienate half of the readers. To proper- ly qualify the answer would fill a shelf in an average library. I would probably brown bag it before eating in a public restaurant on Sabbath—partly to please the Lord and part- ly in response to my frugal nature. But should the owner of the restaurant call me and ask that I please come to his restaurant and discuss points of faith over a meal on the Sabbath, you can be sure that I would be there. Wan) Hill sociology professor Who's Really Sacrificing? I guess I would like to be heard on one particular issue: tuition. I am a student going to two different schools, Union College and UNL. I guess I am still unsatisfied with the way that Union College uses their money. For one thing, it seems as though everyone and their broth- er's mother or father works for the confer- Maybe if they didn't give such a big subsidy to "conference children" all the rest of our tuitions would go down some. ence. In which case, that person attending Union College gets a massive discount on their tuition. Now, I'm not saying that I would not like the discount if I were in the same situation as those who have parents working for the conference. But, I have heard people say over and over, "Kids who come to Union College make sacrifices to get a Christian education." Well, that is not true for those who have 70% subsidies because their par- ents work for the conference. Their tuition isn't much more than UNL's after you subtract the 70%. I guess I just want Union College to be a little more fair to whom they give their discounts to and who they don't. Maybe if they did not give such a big subsidy to "conference children" all of the rest of our tuitions would go down some. Maybe I'm wrong all the way around, but I know conference workers don't get paid too bad a salary. So, why should they get another favor and get their child's tuition discounted on top of that. The question needs to be asked, Exactly who is making the sacrifice? In my honest opinion it is not the "confer- ence kids." It is us who are paying their other 70% for them. In case it hasn't dawned on the Union College recruiters yet, maybe this is the reason more kids are deciding to go to public schools after high school instead of Union. I know that is the reason I went to UNL. I just could not afford to go to Union even with that weak excuse for financial aid called PASSBOOK. Even if tuition doesn't go down for Union College, maybe a little more money could be spent to put some more lights in the gym. Or maybe some good bases on the ball field so all of us athletic types don't have to hurt ourselves unnecessarily. These kind of things need to be thought of. If not, I can't really see Union College surviving into the next century. And that's only five years away. Benjie Williams computer science sophomore No Isolated Problem I would like to respond to the article "Black Like Me" in the last issue of Clocktower. It is unfair to generalize the people who live in Nebraska or the Midwest. I feel sad for the author's negative experiences during her times in Lincoln, and I am not saying that there is not preju- dice or ignorance in Lincoln. I would like to suggest that there is prejudice in every part of our nation; not just in the heartland and not aimed toward one single color. I grew up in Missouri and was fortunate to have friends of different races. When I moved to Lincoln six years ago, I didn't notice a difference in the variety of races or. how they interact with each other. I've also made friends with people of different races since moving here. If you go downtown at all, you will not go very far before you real- ize the various hues of skin color. People who visit the Midwest with big- city attitudes are sure to have a shock. However, classifying Midwesterners as country bumpkins who still eat their vittles by candlelight in a log cabin is not a shining example of intelligence. I have had nega- tive experiences among other races too. But I have not chosen to make it a racial or regional issue and simply take the people There is prejudice in every part of the country, not just in the heartland, and not just aimed toward one color. for who they are and try to understand their life experiences which have shaped their opinions and ideas. I truly hope that the author will take the time she spends in the midwest to explore and realize that we are not a picture of a backwards civilization who is out of touch with the people who are "fortunate" enough to live in the big cities. I am sure she will encounter ignorance and prejudice here because our society is filled with it. However, if she was sent here by God to correct this problem in the Midwest, maybe she could apply her solutions to the entire nation, not just one isolated area that she has taken pity on. Michelle Chip man communications junior Twelve Thousand Dollars for a Social Center? Regarding the issue of interdorm visitation—perhaps my age is showing. 1.1 was unaware that the spending of thou- sands of dollars to attend a private Christian school is done for the purpose of "enhanc- ing social morale.'' 2. My days in the dorm would not have been socially enhanced by interdorm visita- tion. I would have felt it an imposition and a violation of my privacy, to say the least. There is a time and season for everything; also a place. Dormitories are not the place. 3. If I had a daughter (which I do not), she would not reside in a dormitory that allowed such visitation. I've seen too much that already goes on without it (resulting in irreversible pain and damage) to imagine that this would make the situation better. 4. The main voices consistently pulling for interdorm visitation seem to be male. This immediately makes me wary and suspi- cious. What's your hurry, gentlemen? (I'm hoping I can still use that term.) Mrs. Melanie Show library technician, Union College Editor's note: People have written request- ing the "Grapevine" or a gossip column. Unfortunately, this request will not be granted. Columns such as that have caused problems and wounded people in the past, and there are enough real things going on to skip subjective speculations on others' lives. If you have any requests, feel free to write what's on your mind. All letters are care- fully read. Thank you. Lettersjo the WR SPORTS Wednesday, September 27 Page 6 9HHHHH Photo: Kent Shea Brady Bock, Steeler's captain, executes a flawless kickofF as member of the opposite team scrambles for the ball and Eric Fly waves his hands madly. Flagball flurry, part n By Nick Bock Unfortunately, due to rain muddying up 49ers field, we have only two more games for girls' flagball to report. Going into the tour- nament, Sara-Beth Swanson's Green and Becky Stafford's Maroon are leading the pack. The rest of the teams are in hot pursuit. Here are the recaps of the two games played. Schebo (Red) 26 McClelland (Navy) 20 In an offensive showcase by both teams, Red finished off the game on top by one touchdown. Red struck early in the first quarter on a long touchdown run by Tristan Pollard. Navy struck back on a touchdown by team captain Laurel McClelland. Red struck back on a TD by Tami Washam, but was quick- ly countered by a Navy TD from Jamie Goodchild. In the second half, Red put the game away on touchdowns by Tristan Pollard and Teri Barcenas. Navy staged a late fourth quarter threat on a TD by Amy Dick, but it wasn't enough as Red simply needed to run the clock out after the ensuing kickoff. Stafford (Maroon) 24 Booth (Light Blue) 8 Maroon came out in a hurry and showed why they are contending heavily for the women's flagball title. Led by two touchdowns a piece from Dolly Dinning and Jennifer Flanagan. The only offense that Light Blue could muster was a lone TD by Heather Shafer. An apology to the women's flagball teams for the lack of photos of them in these past issues. It wasn't intentional; there were just no photographers available. Pigskin Craze: Guys Intramurals Howdy, sports fans. The season is really heating up down on 49ers field. Brady Bock's Women's Standings team is leading the pack with a perfect 6-0 record going into the tournament. Close behind are Branon's Cowboys (5-2) tied with Chris Wall's Dolphins (5-2). Shawn Sorter's Chiefs are also in the middle of the pack at 4-3. Bringing up the rear of the pack is Kent Shea's Lions at 2-5, followed closely by Christian Stuart's Vikings (1-5) and Kelby Rowe's 49ers(0-6). Here are recaps of the three games in the last newspaper that didn't have writeups, and all of the other games leading up to the tournament. Vikings 20 49ers 12 In the Union College version of the Donut Bowl (that's two teams with no wins) there was one team that would emerge with their first win of the year. The Vikings struck first with a touchdown pass to Jodie Anderson to take a 6- 0 lead into halftime. In the second half, Kelby's 49ers struck back with a touchdown from Humberto Hernandez. After that touchdown, the Vikings took the kickoff and marched down and scored on yet another touchdown by Jodie Anderson. Then in the fourth quarter, the Vikings iced the game on the third touchdown by Jodie to take the trophy in the Donut Bowl. Congratulations. Steelers 27 Lions 12 In a game that was marred by verbal sparring between the two teams and an ejection, the Steelers came out the much better team. The Lions looked impressive early by marching down on their first drive, capped by a TD by Brandon Pardeiro. After taking the 6-0 lead, the Lions defense fell apart. The Steelers came back with two second quarter touchdowns by Tory Gorton and Brady Bock to take a 13-6 halftime lead. Striking early in the second half, the Steelers lengthened their lead on another TD by Tory Gorton. The Lions attempted a comeback in the fourth quarter on a TD by Nick Bock, but the Steelers calmly answered with a TD from Steven Becker. That sealed a decisive 27-12 victory that kept them on their hunt for the flagball title. Dolphins 12 Cowboys 6 In a game with two teams scrambling for sec- ond place, the Dolphins scrambled to a six point victory in a defensive struggle. The Dolphins were led by scores from Brian "Hands" Carlson and Jason Matthews. The Cowboys countered with a score from Shane Daughenbaugh but it was not enough to beat out the Dolphins. Cowboys 27 Lions 12 - .This game was pretty quiet in the first half. There was no scoring, leaving both teams a good chance at pulling this one out. At t he start of the third quarter, the Cowboys struck first on a touch- See flagball on page 7 sports sticks By Nick Bock Sports Editor Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall, Jr. What do you think about the Nebraska running back situation? Well, I was told that there was an ad on Unicom for running back tryouts, but it seems that the only person to show up was Forrest Just kidding, in all seriousness I think the Huskers will do just fine. Besides who do they have left on the schedule? Big Eight and Florida State. Cakewalk. Are you laughing? Dear Mr. Sports know!tall, Jr. What do you think about girls' intra- mural having guys for quarterbacks? Well it makes the game more exciting, does- n't it? It makes the score higher, doesn't it? It makes it more fun for everyone, doesn't it? To make the games even better, let's add guy receivers and safeties--that will really pump up the action. In fact, why dont we just implement a rule that says you only have to have one girl on the field for each team? That sounds like fun, DOESNT IT LADIES? Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall, Jr. Did you know that coed so ft bail intra- murals are going on? Can girls pitch for the team? Do they have the one-girl rule too? I'm so confused. Yes, there is coed softball going on, only a few elite players have been selected forthis rig- orous sport. Just kidding. Yes, the season is three weeks old with three teams vying for the big W. Fortunately here at Union, we don't believe in extra innings, so two games were ties. That way everyone wins and nobody loses. Everybody is happy. Right? Dear Mr. Sportsknowitall, Jr. Have you heard of the new strip joint in Lincoln? I heard it was near Union. Yes, as a matter of fact, I visited it myself the other day. So far in flagball this year, we have had 5 or 6 known below the waist strip- pers. Talented amateurs such as Brian Gibson, Steven Becker, Kent Johnson, and Shawn Sorter have lost all or part of their shorts, much to the delight of the cheering crowd in the stands. For more amateur nights, come to the 49ers field every Tuesday and Thursday night. No cover charge. Thumbs Up To... -The junior class for winning Almost Anything Goes for the third year in a row. -Everyone that showed up for airball. It was rad. Thumbs Down To... -The Vikings for being the first guys' intramur- al team to forfeit. Sportsmen of the Week Steelers QB Brady Bock and his frequent tar- get Tori Gorton. Those two hooked up for seven TD's in three games to help lead the Steelers to a perfect 7-0 record in the flagball regular season. Sportswomen of the Week Dolly Dinning and Jennifer Flanagan for scor- ing two TD's apiece leading their team to a 28- 0 victory over Light Blue. With their receiving, their record has jumped to 2-0, placing them in a tie for first with Green. IW Nick Bock is the long-lost identical twin to Mr. Sportsknowitall, Jr. Team Wins Losses Green 2 O Maroon 8 0 Bed 2 1 Navy 1 S Light Bine 0 4 Men's Standings flagball Continued from Page 6 down by Sheldon Blood. On the ensuing kick- off, Brandon Pardeiro took the kickoff 66 yards for the touchdown. Following that, the Cowboys came back with two consecutive scores by Casey Bock to take a 20-6 lead into the fourth quarter. The Lions tried to rally with a TD by Kent Shea, but it wasn't enough. The Cowboys finished off the Lions with a TD by Casey Turner. Steelers 14 Dolphins 13 In a close challenge to the Steelers No. 1 posi- tion, the Dolphins came within two points of beating the league-leading Steelers. The Dolphins were led by touchdowns from Rob Boyd and Brian Carlson, but fatally missed one of their extra points. Maroon scored with TD's by mystery man and Tory Gorton. The difference was Maroon capitalizing on their two extra points. Lions 25 49ers 7 In one of the few bright spots this year for the Lions, they pummelled the 49ers in a lopsided victory. The 49ers did have a brief lead in the game on a TD by Scott Atwater. But after that it was all downhill. The Lions came roaring back with touchdowns by Brandon Pardiero and Nick Bock. Going into the second half, it looked like the 49ers might tie up the game. Then Kent Johnson picked off a pass and rumbled down the sideline for an 80-yard TD. That proved to be the turning point in the game as the Lions fin- ished off the 49ers on a TD by Nick Bock. Vikings 0 Chiefs 1 In the first forfeit game of the year, the Chiefs were the beneficiaries of the Vikings' not show- ing up. Chiefs 26 Steelers 32 This game was an offensive struggle all the way to the last play. The game started out with bang-on touchdowns for the Steelers by Tory Gorton and John Buxton.' The Chiefs countered with a touchdown of their own from Brian Gibson. At the half the teams were knotted up at 13 and ready for the decisive second half. The Chiefs came out smokin' in the second half on third quarter TD's by Sam Huenergardt and Eric Fly. The Steelers came back with a third quarter TD of their own by Tory Gorton. Into the fourth quarter all tied up. Again the Chiefs drew first blood on a second TD by Eric Fly. But then, the Steelers offense took over. The Steelers tied it up, then took the lead on TD's with Steven Becker and Russ McNeil. The last TD proved to be enough to stave off the offensive attack of the Chiefs. The game ended on a scare for the Steelers. The Chiefs had driven the length of the field, and on the last play threw a pass in the endzone to Brian Gibson. Alas, he caught the ball out of bounds and the game was-over. This could be a matchup to watch come toumey time. Dolphins 40 49ers 12 In a blowout, the Dolphins trampled the 49ers by one of the largest margins that we have seen so far. The Dolphins were led by six TD tosses by QB Chris Wall. There were three TD's by Brian Carlson, two TD's by Jason Matthews, and a TD by Rob Boyd. The only offense the 49ers could muster were TD's by Aaron Fritz and Shawn Lake. Steelers 18 49ers 13 In the 49ers' closest game of the year, they almost pulled off the upset of the century over the league-leading Steelers. The 49ers scored on TD's by Jonathan Lund and Shawn Lake. The Steelers won the game on two TD tosses by Brady Bock to his favorite target Tory Gorton, followed by a TD run by Brady Bock. Dolphins 19 Chiefs 14 This game was close all the way. The Dolphins struck first on the first of two TD's by Jason Matthews. The Chiefs answered with a TD of their own on the connection from Shawn Sorter to Brian Gibson. The Dolphins countered on Jason Matthews' second TD of the night, fol- lowed by the icer on a long TD pass from Chris Wall to Scott Henson. Klein's IGA 815 S. 11th, Lincoln, NE 68505 Sunday only: New York "limes, Denver Post, Chicago Tribune, Des Moines Register, Omaha World-Herald, Jewish World. Store Hours: Sunday 7:3^-6 M-S 7:30-7 Fitness is our Business! Come see us at: 5300 Old Cheney Road Lincoln NE 68516 (402) 423-2511 Ric Spaulding, referee BranonShea Don't forget the city By Nick Bock and Shawn Sorter 'Howdy, sports fan! Intramural flagball isn't the only type of football being played by Unionites this fall. Union has a men's team entered in city league football. Led by Shawn Sorter, the team has rumbled out to a 2-1 record. Their games are every Sunday, so feel free to go out and support the team! Here are the recaps of their games so far. Union Boyz 1 Opponent (they don't remember who) 0 In Union's first city league game, their oppo- nent didn't even show. Team Captain Shawn Sorter on the competition: "They were so scared, they didn't even show." Union Boyz 14 Warthogs 6 We don't know who scored, but we do know Union won their second game of the year to start out an impressive 2-0. Union Boyz 19 Cheerleaders 25 Union came storming back in the second half after being down by two touchdowns early in the game. After tying the score on their second TD, a crucial call went against the Union Boyz. Shawn Sorter was called for guarding the flag, and the extra point was wiped off the board. The Cheerleaders took the kickoff and marched down the field in the waning seconds of the game. On the last play of the game, the Cheerleaders punched the ball in between two Union defenders to deal the Union Boyz their first loss of the year. DEALING Wim Trash Talk By Nick Bock This is based on Jerry Grunska's article in Referee. October 1995, pg. 48-52. This article gave an interesting insight into the intricate world of trash talk. There is a precious balance between what is accept- able and what is trash talk and can get a player kicked out of a game. One of the important parts of knowing how serious the talk is, Grunska points out, is to know who you are working with. The players' back- grounds and the social forces that may have an influence are important in your judge- ment of the talk. Another important issue is the context in which the words were spoken. If it is just playful bantering, then it is probably acceptable. But if you aren't listening closely to what the talk is like during the game, you may not be able to discern the Warrior Mania By Brian Carlson The sounds of the Union College men's basketball team have once again infiltrated the confines of the Thunderdome (that's the UC gym). Basketballs pounding on the wooden floor. Screeching whistles slicing through the heavy air. Sweaty guys beg- ging, "Please let us run 10 more sprints!" Yes, a new season is now upon us, and an exciting one it should prove to be. "It's going to be a fun year," said coach Ron Dodds. "The guys have a good work ethic, and they're really pulling together as a team." With minimal travel to most of the games, everyone should come out and see Union's exciting, upbeat style of offense. 1995-19% Union College Warriors Jamie Wasemiller Todd Essex Dallas Purkeypile Ryan Reinke Casey Bock Brian Carlson Kent Shea Brady Bock Eric Fly Travis Nelson Brandon Pardeiro Paul Britain Aaron Fritz difference. Sometimes, you need to silently address the issue by a glance at the player, putting a finger to your lips, mainly letting the player know you heard him and that it isn't something that will fly for very long. Know where the line will be that will set off players. You have to be careful that even playful bantering doesn't cross that imaginary line where it isn't funny any longer. The most important thing for an official is not to simply ignore it. If this is done, it will just escalate into something in which you might not be able to get back a hold of until you have had to toss players. The best thing to do is simply nip it in the bud. Warrior Mania n By Krystal Lakoduc It's that much anticipated time of the year again-the beginning of the Union College women's basketball season. Once again, the most prominent obstacle the team faces this year is inexperience. The team consists mainly of freshmen with the exception of a few sophomores. But the players have exhibited the zeal and dedication it takes to improve quick- »y- The Warriors open their playing sea- son at home in the Thunderdome on November 11 at 6:00. Mark it on your calendar; it'll prove to be exciting for both players and fans. 1995-19% Union College Warriors Shelly Freeman Amy Johnson Krystal Lakoduk Serene Ho Jessica Larson Jackie Morlen Becky Voss Michelle Miller Heidi Widicker THUMBS UP!! Teaaa Wins Losses Steelers 7 O Dolphins 8 8 Chiefs 4 3 Cowboys 6 8 Vikings 1 8 Lions S B 49ers 0 7 living Wednesday, September 27 Page 8 By Alison Stewart Is it possible for any human to be so creative that they never yawn and say a commonplace you're at in dating; whether a greenhorn or a rela- tionship connoisseur, your dating skills could probably use a little bit of improvement. Everyone's grey matter gets congealed when not strangers and strengthen existing relationships, go even further on a first date, you can tell peo- Sometimes even a boyfriend or girlfriend pie you are a casting/director team and interview becomes commonplace, and the magic of the first your prospective talent on the spot Anybody will date would be just the thing to revive a tired soul, talk to you if they think you're in show biz. "Dates are a direct reflection on a person. The places a date brings you, the food you eat, the movies you do or don't watch—it all says something about the person." thing? In most of life (as far as I've seen), tired brains can't come up with new ideas. Life becomes boring and dry, and your dating patterns are stranded in the middle of the same Saturday night plan you've had for the past four years— in use. Another reason is not wanting to expend the energy. "Our society is lazy—we want instant reward with no work," says Jackie Ostrowicki, a senior nursing major. "The people who don't Many of these ideas were taken from a lit- tle book called The Date Book, written by Margaret Sullivan and Jodi Lennon and printed by Chicago Review Press. It's a worthwhile addition to your Harbrace and dictionary, and only costs $6.95 at Barnes and Nobles. Check it out The Date Book is worth your time. • Go to a grocery store with a tray of tiny crackers spread with cheese and offer free samples to everyone until the manage- ment asks you to leave. Getting rejected together will insert you both • See if you can each spend ten dollars—fifty cents at a time. (This Idea, as well as some of the others, is also good as a group date.) This means you can visit one of those surreal dollar stores, since you can pool your allotment for things that come two to a package, like the yellow and red containers for mustard and ketchup. You now have made a domestic pur- chase together, a real leap for a date. • Go to Barnes and Noble and read books to each other from the children's section. pizza, movie, walk/talk combos. "Dates are a direct reflection on a person.The places a date brings you, the food you eat, the movies you do or don't watch—it all says some- thing about who the person is," says Amanda Krehbiel, an English junior from Boulder, Col. "If someone takes you to a standard movie and din- ner, what kind of person is that? Nobody has to be standard. Even first dates can be interesting without being overwhelming." Dating is an important part of learning social interaction. Those who feel at ease in dating situ- ations will feel comfortable in non-romantic situ- ations: a board room, a town hall meeting, a pres- idential campaign. Catch the drift? Dating affects every facet of your life. Isn't it time to update your style? Many people are afraid to try different styles of dating.The solution: face your fear and it will dis- appear. Practice conversation, politeness, creative ideas.Talent doesn't develop overnight. Repetition always brings improvement. There are many reasons dating comes to a standstill. Fear of the act of dating itself is one, but even "experienced" daters can find themselves in stagnation. No matter what stage of the game bother to think of ways to make their dating experience more meaningful, yet complain life is boring, are the same people who want happy marriages without spending the time to develop the relationship. If you don't make effort now, you won't make it later. Everybody's effort may not have the same result, since we're all different, but everyone can make an effort." "We all respect and want to be around those who make an effort," rejoined Amanda. "If a "date is a mirror of who you are, what are you saying about yourself? A person tells on themselves by the way they talk, dress, behave—and the way they date." "Interesting peo- ple plan interest- ing dates. Unique people plan unique dates. Amazing people plan amazing dates. Boring people plan boring dates." There has to be a starting point in initiating any type of change, and the suggestions listed below are just a few ideas on how to get to know in an instant club. We suggest that you buy the cheese and crackers at the same grocery store, go to your place to make your tray, and return as host and hostess. • Go to a religious service that neither of you is familiar with. Religious services can give you a broader per- spective on lifejove and stuff. • Make up story characters, then go out Go to an everything store and pick out a color- ing book. Write your names in the front.Then go to a park or restaurant and color pages together. looking for people you would cast as those characters if you were making a movie. Why not join everyone else who is writing a screenplay? Looking for the perfect actors is an excellent excuse to stare at people. If you want to • Go to a everything store (like WalMart or Target) and pick out a special coloring book. Make sure and write your names in the front. Then go to a place like the park or a restaurant and color pages together. You might want to purchase crayons as well. This date helps you to surreptitiously find out things about your date they might never tell you. Choices like "Litde Mermaid or Sesame Street coloring book?" and "Should we get the Binney and Smith 64 grand deluxe set or the $.96 generic ten pack?" give you insight into your date's personality, childhood, and other things only a therapist would know. This is a good first date and also a good test if you are considering marriage. If you can't color peacefully ("Her hair should be orange-red, not red-orange!"), you probably won't be able to live togeth- er peacefully. • Go on color dates. Do only orange things. For example, eat Cheet- Os, purchase orange slurpees, dine at What they want he A fellow considers a good dale to be a fairly easy achievement. To be a good date, the girl doesn't necessarily have to be overwhelmingly attractive, though that is a bonus. Once the date is chosen, it's crucial that the male remembers who the special lady for the evening is because, as he steps into Rees Hall to pick her up, it. is easy to lose focus and dial a wrong number. That can cause problems with all of the females currently involved. This is just another example of a man's depth. Most men prefer a casual date, especially for the first one. Ask any guy what he thinks of a formal date (remember those hated academy banquets, guys?), and he'll usually laugh. The only reason that he may lie and say that he likes formality would be to impress the girl. The guy considers a date to be good if it's in a relaxed atmos- phere where he can be himself. Although a movie, miniature golf, or bowling aren't exactly creative dates, most guys pre- fer them. They'll be creative at times to get women to like them, but guys generally can't stand it. (Remember, this is about what men like, not what they do.) No matter what happens on the date, it's important for the guy to know that it was appreciated, no matter how ill-planned and boring it was. This can be accom- plished in a number of ways. A "thank-you" as the evening ends, a nice card to show gratitude, or a sim- ple e-mail will do. Assuming that a movie is chosen for the night's entertainment, it would be unwise to choose something like Species or Pulp Fiction for the first date unless you're a gimp. It is also advised to avoid something overly romantic. A good wholesome comedy is the best alternative. (Most women don't like trashy movies.) A good movie needs lots of "Men don't dislike romance, contrary to popular opinion; they actually enjoy it—just not on the first date." SHAWN AND SAM relationship experts junk food, most of which the guy will consume. The guy is generally happier if his date isn't leaning on him throughout the entire flick. This is another rea- son to avoid sappy movies or horror films. A dinner is nice as well, but it shouldn't be too expensive initially. If a man spends a ton of money on the first date with every girl, he won't be going on very many dates. Men don't dislike romance, contrary to popular opinion; they actually enjoy it—just not on the first date. (Romance is for people in love, not for the many infatuations that occur on our campus). Although all this is important, the most crucial part comes after the date is over. It was a good date if the guy can walk away and not feel obligated to propose and offer a ring. A guy may want to go out with a different girl the next week because that's the point of college—to find out the characteristics he likes and those he doesn't. Asking a different girl out doesn't mean he disliked the date, just that he's not through looking. This is a very healthy ele- ment. A girl is asked out on a date because the guy has an interest in getting to know her. It does- n't mean he wants to become committed. A guy also knows it was a good date when the amount of people who come and ask him about it are in the single digits. (In other words, please stop the rumors and mind your own business, Union College). Dating is supposed to be fun at this stage in our lives. If the guy has a good time he may ask again. If he does, his interest is a little more piqued. If not, he'll see you in The Chat and we can all still be friends. Shawn and Sam are some of Union's most eligible bachelors. They can be reached at most times in the Prescott Hall laundry room. Okay, we'll admit it. Women are a little pickier than men. We play the field a lot less, and we expect more from the first date. We don't need a different date every week- end to know what we want. We're bom knowing what we want—security. That's why we take dating more seriously, and why we view dating differently than guys. What a date means to women > Dates (even first dates) usually mean more to women than they do to men. Women look at dates as potential rela- tionships. To.us, a date is a mutual interest situation, a "beyond buddiness" thing. Other tidbits on dating • Women are stuck between wanting to be independent and old fash- ioned. Half of us wants to be asked out, half of us wants to be assertive nineties women. We're torn and having identity crises, so be understanding. Womanhood is being revamped, and role changes leave us dangling at times. 'Women are bowled over by polite and sincerely complimentary men. Coat taking and door opening especially." AMANDA AND JACKIE the nonprofessional view • Women will go back to the dorm and analyze their date with you in a big group therapy session with their friends to figure out why you asked them out, why you went where you did on the date, and what certain key phrases you said meant. It's not gos- sip, just psychology, so don't worry. What we like • We like it when a date is thoughtfully planned. It's awful when your date picks you up, then asks you what you want to do. It creates a dilemma, because a woman doesn't want to appear control- ling, yet she feels a need to respond. • A date where you do more than get picked up from Bancroft sidewalk, watch a movie, and then go home. Getting to know each other is the purpose of dating, and conversation is the best way to accomplish that. • Women are bowled over by polite and sincerely complimentary men. Coat taking and door open- ing create big brownie points. • When guys remember and are interested in what you say. You wouldn't believe how many men unintentionally make their date feel alienated by their nervous behavior. Pay attention, be alert • Guys that aren't intimidated and don't think you're totally after them if you happen to ask them on the date. • Summary: We like to be treated like ladies, to feel like our dates are looking at us as people and not accomplishments. What we hate • When a guy talks about himself the whole time or doesn't talk at all. Or, when he assumes you don't have an opinion and isn't thoughtful enough to ask you what you think. • When you're trying to initiate conversation and your date doesn't make an effort to answer, or only answers in monosyllables. • When men think that all we want is romance from the start. We're more serious about the mean- ing of a date, but that doesn't mean we aren't cautious. • Sweet talk is bad. We can tell the difference between a sincere compliment and a staged one. It's actually pretty easy to have a successful date. Act-yourself, be nice, and we promise we'll do the same. Amanda and Jackie are very suspicious of men with promises, but will give you a chance. > • • International House of Pancakes, then watch the sun go down. Do blue things. For example, make blueberry muffins with your jeans on while listening to Muddy Waters tunes. Then go out and mail some letters. * Decorate your cars and have a very loud parade (another good group date.) Be sure to synchronize your radio dials to the same skull- pounding station. Women get to wear elbow length gloves and wave. Variation: pretend like you're just married. Dress formally. Decorate the lead car with streamers and cans. Drive down the main street of town and see how many cars you can get to honk. Try to' stop traffic whenever possi- ble. Go out to eat afterward, at a restaurant like Rock 'n Roll Runza. • Leave a fish on someone's doorstep, then wait in hid- ing for them to come home. • Go to the airport together and act like you haven't seen each other in years. This is a good way for you to get to kiss and embrace repeat- edly without being conspicuous.You'll make a lot of people real- ly happy, too.You need to move from gate to gate and hope that you manage not to do this in front of the same people more than once. You can use this date as a testing field for pet names you might be considering. For example, at Gate A, one of you could say, "Muffin?" and the other, "Soda Pop?" Then at Gate B you could try, "Fieldmouse?" or "Is that really you, Donkeyshoes?" * Make a comic book together. Your dates will certainly use the superhero model to express their innermost needs and expectations. Beware of partners whose main characters have been love-ravaged fools, psychically contained in their own super- heroic desire, unable to find a kindred spirit because their own greatness is too much to under- stand. * Look at catalogs togeth- er and pick out the best item on every page. That's right. You are what you buy, and you want to be what you want to buy. • Buy a disposable camera, then ask twenty-four strangers to take your picture. Use the photos and words cut out from magazines to make an album of your relationship (kind of tricky for first dates.) • Attach notes to helium-filled balloons and set them free. How about offering the secret of your mutual happiness in a one-line statement? You could then share it with whoever fate- fully receives the news. • Roller skate in a parking garage. • Tour condominiums for sale and act like you're buy- ing your first home. Great opportunity for you and your date to focus tons of attention on your "living needs" and your "basic lifestyle compo- nents". Practice saying "What a wonderful apartment!" to each other beforehand. • Put flowers on people's graves. • Drive around looking for fountains and make a wish in every one you find. • Go to thrift shops and pick out outfits for each other. This will give you a good idea of the sense of style your date has.Try to be flattering to each other. Picking out a pair of poly- ester skin-tights or an Little House in the Prairie dress will not put you in a positive light. Hopefully these ideas will generate some of your own, and leave you one of those "happily-ever after" couples. Take care, and happy dating! she ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Wednesday, September 27 Page 10 c afe an I ait Coffee is an important part of college life (yes, that includes decaf)- Believe it or not, it has also held political importance throughout the yea^s, In England, the first coffeehouse opened in 1652 by a Greek named Pasqua Rosee. By 1670, there were about 3,000 coffee houses in England and many impor- tant people visited daily. They talked and argued about many things, including what they thought was wrong with the country. This worried the king, Charles II, and in 1615 he tried to close them down. However, the people of England protested so much that Charles was forced to open the coffeehouses again. As far as North America goes, coffee became the national drink on the night of December 16, 1774. That was the night of the Boston Tea Party, when a group of American colonists threw 340 chests of British tea into Boston harbor. It led to war, after which the Brits no longer ruled America. From December 16 onward, no loyal American drank tea; anyone seen drinking tea was thought to be a traitor. The peo- ple drank coffee instead, although at first some of them didn"t like it very much. Today, here, now. I don't drink coffee for polit- ical reasons. I like the ambiance of coffee hous- es. They are' good places to think and talk quiet- ly, and also because "in the uncertain ebb and flow of time and emotions, much of one"s life history is etched in the senses. And things of no importance, or irre- placeable things, can suddenly resurface in a cafe one winter night." (Banana Yoshimoto, Kitchen.) In a nutshell, here are some good coffeehouses to visit. Miscellanea is a combo art deco gift shop/restaurant/coffeeshop. The decor is unusual, and you feel like you"ve discovered a little world tucked away. It"s pretty ugly outside, which makes inside even more of a •unstrung By Ryan Teller I walked into the theater the other day to see Unstrung Heroes expecting to see a chick flick. I was disappointed. Well, not really disappoint- ed, because if there's anyone who can't stand the mush of such revolting pictures, it is I. This movie was not mushy; however it was packed with emotion, both negative and positive. The hero is young Steven Lidz (Nathan Watt), a twelve-year-old boy with a less-than- normal life. His father, Sid (John Turturro), is a genius convinced that sci-score car* ence is the salvation of the world, and determined that his son will believe the same. Steven's moth- er Selma (Andie McDowell) is a kind, patient woman stricken with termi- nal cancer. Things boil over at home when none of Sid's concoctions seem to help Selma. Steven can't handle it any- more, so he retreats to the apartment of his father's two loony brothers, Danny (Michael Richards of Seinfeld Kramer fame) and Arthur (Maury Chaykin). convinced that fascists are out to get him and everyone else, and is constantly taking precau- tions to avoid being discovered. Arthur is a quiet, caring man who digs through trash every day to find priceless junk. He believes that he can learn about people from the stuff he collects. Danny and Arthur's odd ways and unique insights on life help counteract the atheistic influences of Steven's father. Steven even adopts the name of Franz, and decides to pursue the customs of his Jewish heritage. Throughout most of the movie, the darkness of family conflict and death overshadow the humor of the deranged relatives, and although the ending is predictable, it still leaves many unanswered questions.Director Diane Keaton dwells on the family conflict, mainly Sid's conflict with his own beliefs. The movie grows monotonous about two thirds of the way through the movie when in every other scene, Sid is yelling at Steven or his brothers about how stupid they are. I felt like I had been sitting in the theatre much longer than the one hour and forty minute running time. If you are looking for brainless hilarity or Arnold-like action, this is not the movie for you. However if you are Danny and Arthur are what add life to the looking for a movie that will make you wonder movie. Their antics not only provide laughs, but about yourself, this is the one for you. also reveal deep insights into human behavior. Danny is a boisterous man who is thoroughly The Grotto If you're searching for a first-date dinner restaurant, I most definitely recommend The Grotto, located discreetly on the cor- ner of 11th and tO' street in downtown Lincoln. In fact. The Grotto is worth eating at even If you can't find a date. The food is that delicious. The menu, as described by my lovely (female) server, is international-continental, with a variety of pasta, veg- etable, and meat/poultry/flsh entrees. If you eat fish, the Tuesday light fish special is halibut, and it will blow your mind. The steamed vegetables and pasta are also extraordinary. The portions were large enough to leave me content, but the meal was light enough that I would have had room for dessert. I give The Grotto three and a half out of four yum-yums on Craig's Meal- O-Rama-Meter. The postmodern atmosphere is refreshing because I'm not used to seeing It in Lincoln. The light jazz, paint- ings, and spot-lighted tables fit the design very well and create a relaxing, comfortable environment. I give The Grotto four knappy sideburns on the Date-O- Meter. Price: Moderately expensive; entrees averaged $7 to $12 (definitely worth it!) Bonus for veggies: All vegetarian dishes on the menu are marked with a big carrot! —Craig Unterseher realism B+ profanity C+ violence A moral value C+ beauty C+ inspiring B+ depth B+ overall B ...and the earth did not swallow him... is a film which tells the story of 12-year-old Marcos Gonzalez. Marcos and his family are forced to leave their home in Texas every spring to follow the crops northward into the Midwest. Barely able to make a living, they live in a flatbed truck or in farm barracks with dirt floors. Marcos embodies his fami- ly's dreams of a better life as they sacrifice to let him finish a semester in a Minnesota school. Writer-director Severo Perez will appear at the 7:30 p.m. screenings on Thursday and Saturday to discuss his film with the audiences. The film will show at the Mary Reipma Ross Theater in the S.ieldon Art Gallery this month. Admission to the screenings is $5.50; $4.50 for students. -Brian Ruckle Teri Skultety My heart beat madly in my chest and I could hardly contain my excited and child- like passion as I sat, antsing around like a three-year-old in my seat. I know you're asking yourself, What in the world could get a calm, cool, and collected chick like Teri Skultety in a raving, almost uncontrollable frenzy? Only one thing, my dear friends, and 1 am about to share those - precious moments with you. Barry Williams, a.k.a Greg Brady. Need I say more? Well, O.K., I will. HE WAS HERE—in Lincoln, Nebraska, on the night of September 18, 1995! The thought that just a couple weeks ago he was within a 10 mile radius of us all should be enough to send electrifying chills up your spine. Hmmmm...maybe not, but if you're like any conventional human being who grew up with a television between 1976 and now, you have probably been touched in one way or another by that better-than-real-life-and- maybe-just-like-it family—The Brady Bunch. I know it has touched mine. My love/hate relationship with the Bradys has been a legacy in my extended family for years now. For those of you who don't know all of those little-known facts about the Bradys, and that's the only reason why you're read- ing this article, I'll spew some off for you now. The Brady Bunch has now been suc- cessfully running and re-running for four consecutive decades. The original show aired on ABC in September of 1969. It con- tinued for five straight seasons and cranked out 116 fun-filled episodes. And now, ni'ne reunion shows later, they are pretty much all leading somewhat humble lives. But enough of the boring facts. Let's get back to me and my emotions. There I was, sitting in the second row of the Student Union's lecture hall at UNL East Campus. The show began with a video medley of clips from various episodes of the Brady Bunch. The theme song blared in the background and stopped every once in a while for a famous Brady quote. Marcia's should-have- been-Emmy-nominated, "Oh, my nose!" was among them. Then, the lights came up, Barry was announced, and he came running on stage from the side. At that moment, time stood still. The only sign of an outside world was a friend's arm (who shall rename name- less to save him from embarrassment and humiliation for agreeing to go with me) that I had in a visegrip, and the almost-tear that was running down my cheek from disbelief that THE GREG BRADY was standing in "Slowly, a very cruel and hard fact began to rake on my deluded mind: Barry Williams is a geek." front of my very eyes. Bany talked and talked about growing up on the show, mak- ing out with Marcia, and just having a hip, groovy time. To tell you the truth, I was rather disappointed because he basically orally regurgitated his entire book, Growing Up Brady: I Was a Teenage Greg (which I have owned for 4 years and have read numerous times). So I sat there, at first hanging on his every word. But slowly, a very cruel and hard fact began to rake on my deluded brain: Barry Williams is a geek, and so was Greg, and he is clinging to a persona that he was 25 years ago. He had absolutely none of his own identity. When I began to realize this, believe it or not, I was very embar- rassed. What was I doing sitting in the sec- ond row like an obsessed crazy person wearing my Greg Brady T-shirt, with my sweaty hands grasping on to my Brady Bunch poster, and my Best of the Brady Bunch CD, and my Growing Up Brady book? 'Teri," I painfully asked myself, "what in the world have you been so hyped about for all of these years? The show was- n't that great and this guy is clearly a class A dork." Now, that was a pretty harsh realiza- tion for a sensitive girl like me. But the worst was when it was all over and I had my chance to meet and have him sign my armful of Brady Bunch stuff. Despite my new-found feelings for Barry, my palms were still very sweaty when I approached him. I couldn't think of anything to say, which is not uncommon when you meet a guy that you have had a mad crush on for most of your life. So, I thought I'd just be kinda nonchalant about it. Maybe even a lit- tle bit personal. Here's what happened: Barry: "What's your name?" Me (squeaking): "Umm.. Teri." (He begins to sign my stuff) Me: "So, do you ever get tired of touring around so much?" Barry (glaring up at me): "No! I love it. It's my life." Me (taken aback by his defensiveness): "Oh." (He signs some more stuff) Barry: "Why? Should I be tired of it?" Me (humbly crushed): "I don't know." (He's done now) Barry: "Next." That was it. An event that I had dreamed about for years and years. Gone. Over. Done with. It sucked. It was really too bad that he turned out to be a jerk in person. That, cou- pled with his totally dweeby stage presence, has pretty much yanked me out of the groovy Brady Bunch karma that I was in for so long. I'm not saying that I'm giving up on the Bradys forever. I could never bring myself that far. But I've just moved on to a more mature stage in my life where I don't need the Bradys for role models on being the ultimate family. I need something more. Has anyone seen that A1 Bundy guy around? Teri Skultety is still trying to recover from her Bradycardia. Hopefully, she'll be fine without all of us having to send her flowers. around campus Wednesday, September 27 Page 12 so they say w P P Shawn Sorter, senior "When a greater good is done by the sin you commit. For instance, when more harm could come to another individual by telling the truth; for example, Jews in Nazi Germany. If I was asked if Jews were in my home, I'd have no problem lying. Actually, it's really only right to lie to save a life. Any other interpre- tation is a blanket statement." Tracy Bliven "If you're in a situation where you were going to hurt them, then you should lie. Actually, that's not right. You should always try to tell the truth, because people always find it out eventually. When you lie, people learn to distrust you." Amanda Krehbiel, junior "When a lie would hurt a person less than the truth. Like a situation where somebody talks about you behind your back. Also, it's easy to find yourself in the middle of things that aren't your business when you volunteer unnec- essary information. " Dr. Lowell Hagele, professor "I don't know if it ever is, but there are times when caregivers or med- ical people have to be very, very...tactful. In general, if you lie, you have to cover up with another lie."" Pat Parmele,food service director "To keep from offending or hurting someone. If someone isn't dressed nice- ly and they ask you if you like their out- fit, I'd say I liked it. It's not worth telling them you don't like it if it makes them happy and it's not hurting them.." Paul Britain, freshman "It's appropriate to lie when a person doesn't have a right to know, like when someone asks a direct question about somebody else and tries to pry gossip out of you." Question for next time: When is it appropriate to lie? Senate. Notes -The first Senate meeting took place on Wednesday, September 20, and the Student Senate is officially underway. This first meeting was mainly organiza- tional, with the senators finding out exactly what their duties and responsi- bilities entail. One of the duties of the senators is to poll their constituents sev- eral times throughout the year. Hopefully, by now the senators have been around to see you to get any com- ments or concerns that you may have about our campus or issues facing us as students.'Many of the topics and issues which Senate will discuss in the upcom- ing year comes from the information gathered when you were polled. Another issue discussed at the September 20 meeting was the ASB budget. The ASB budget must be approved by the Senate before it becomes official. At the moment, the Senate Appropriations Committee is reviewing the budget to try and find areas that are possible candidates for cuts. The budget is scheduled to be dis- cussed and put before an approval vote at the October 4 Senate meeting. I have tremendous faith in the sena- tors elected for this year and I am look- ing for the Student Senate to have a suc- cessful year. If anyone has not yet been contacted by their senator, please find out who your senator is and ask them why they haven't contacted you (senator listings and districts are in the Sept. 27 issue of the Clocktower). Also, feel free to e-mail me (ryreinke) and let me know how you think the Senate is doing, what you would like to sec happening, or any other comments or questions which are on your mind. After all, the Senate is supposed to be the student's voice in our school, so let your voice be heard. P.S. To see the Senate minutes, look at the ASB bulletin board in the Atrium. —Ryan Reinke, executive vice-president Senate meetings are open to anyone who wants to attend and are held in the ASB conference room in the student center at nine o'clock on Wednesday unless otherwise specified. Meeting times are rescheduled throughout the year. notes from the hive hidey-ho! i have some upcoming events that you need to store in your noggin. AND (for mr. blake) before i jabber on those fun-infested items, i have to hit your noggin with a more serious issue--where are you? why weren't you at airball? this is a school of 500 odd students (and i don't mean approximately, i do mean odd) and only about 60 of you supported airball. read your asb cards again--if you're coming down with weebla- weebla, don't say i didn't warn you! so, where are you? e-mail me at kyeckenr and let me know your excus- es, feelings, and thoughts on how the ozone is affecting the bovine population in southeastern nebraska. i wanna know what you want!!! okay, now for the upcoming rad stuff that you will be at october 7 we're showing that oh-so-romantic movie, while you were sleeping._ grab your fave cuddle-upper and bring or drag him or her there, watch for the posters for the time, next in my bag of tricks is the FALL PARTY! this will be on-campus this year for those of you who can't read a map and got lost trying to find it last year (heather harrison). our shindig will feature fun-flicks where you--yes, you in the droopy drawers and mossimo t-shirt-- can make your own music video--drum roll please--mtv style, watch and listen for more facts, rumors, and out-right lies on what else will be jivin' that night, one thing is fo' certain--you won't wanna miss it! uh, we're sorry to say that due to circumstances beyond our control, the ASB hospital bed race on october 15 has been canceled, watch for its relocation on your socia calendar, same bat channel. » p.s. let me know what you think about social asb. e-mail me! —kvlie eckenroth