clocktower staff
editors
chief cassandra milnes 
assistant anna hartfieid 
layout callie kanen 
copy suzanne current 
photo teresa lopez 
ad manager J onathan hilliard 
living heather kampf 
jessica robison 
religion john rivera 
humor seth pierce 
sports kyle martsching 
artkade rea
opinion nathaniel salzman 
historian jared gibson 
u said it bill heinrich 
lost in paradise michael paradise 
words of love daniel murauskas 
formerly rhetorical lois stamper
sponsor michelle velazquez-mesnard 
reporters megan crawley, justin okimi, 
ben yancer, randy harmdierks, 
karen parks, brandon busby, 
devin adams, callie kanen
cover photo by katie rea
to contact us: The Clocktower, 3800 S. 48th St. Lincoln, NE 68506 - (402)486-2091 - ucclocktower@yahoo.com
We’d like to hear from you. The Clocktower accepts manuscripts. Requests to withhold the author’s name will be considered.
editor s note
My family has so many Christmas decorations that it looks like 
Marshall Fields exploded in our living room. Homemade ornaments, 
heirloom ornaments, school art project ornaments and ornaments 
that came as gifts anually weigh down the branches of our poor tree. 
Decorating the tree is a day-long affair, to be done with “White 
Christmas” or “Its a Wonderful Life” playing on television.
I asked my mom why we always have to put all ten million of our dec­
orations on the Christmas tree. After looking at all of the tasteful color 
coordinated, theme-filled Christmas trees at department stores, I sar­
castically told my mom that when I grow up, I think it would be great 
to have a tree decorated with just white lights and tinsel hung one 
strand at a time. Something very simple.
My mom didn’t like that idea. She said she’d miss all of the old orna­
ments—and I didn’t understand why. She explained that they had a lot 
of memories attached. For example, there is one Daisy Duck orna­
ment that I remember having forever. The date written on the back of 
it is 1986.1 got it when we were at Dayton’s and I was allowed to pick 
anything I wanted to go on our Christmas tree. For some unknown 
reason, I chose this cartoon character. On yet another ornament, a 
mother teddy bear is decorating Christmas cookies with her baby. The 
inscription on the back: “Merry Christmas, Cassie. 1983.”
Come to think of it, my family’s Christmas tree each helps me remem­
ber many things. Christmas wouldn’t be the same without Daisy Duck 
staring down at me or without the handiwork of my sister and I 
proudly displayed. As I have grown up, I have learned that Christmas 
isn’t about having a perfect department store tree or throwing a lavish 
party. It’s about family and memories.
-cassandra milnes
in tnis issue
news operation christmas child 
religion tips for surviving the holiday season 
living stockings in the dark 
sports generous athletes 
history a pauper’s christmas 
formerly rhetorical christmas in india 
opinion unedited
The views expressed in this issue of the Clocktower are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors, Union College, ASB, 
or the Seventh-day Adventist Church. The editorial staff retains the right to determine the content of the Clocktower.
formerly rhetorical
Dear Lois,
How do Christians in India celebrate Christmas?
-Jusr Curious
Dear Curious,
Because'India is mainly’Hindu and Muslim, there lsjno official cel­
ebration of Christmas. However, this time of year is looked upon as an 
appropriatethime for gift-giving and tipping or giving "baksheesh," 
charitable hand-outsTO the poo^B
Christians in India decorate mango or banana; trees at Christmas 
time. Sometimes they also dc^:orateiOrejrS© ilses with mango leaves. In 
some parts of India, small'clay oil-burning lanips are used as Christmas 
decorations. They are placed on the edges of flat roofs and' on the tops 
of walls.fffilmrches are decorated with poinsettjas arii& 
candles
forfthe'Qnristmas Eve service.hyi
Taken from Cassie's Christmas Reali^H 
http://www.gurlpages.com/c_andrew/
To contact me for some great answers to your questions write to: formerly rhetorical @ 3800 S. 48th St. Lincoln, NE 68506 or lostamper@ucollege.edu
a pauper's Christmas
by jared gibson
Each of us has a recollection of a very special Christmas. Often, 
it is a remembrance from childhood, a fond Christmas memory of a 
long winter past.
Charlie was ten. School was out, and it was Christmas vacation. 
The family was going to spend the holiday in the country.
Charlie looked out the window of the 
house. He was impressed with the snow.
Unlike in the big city, where traffic black­
ened the flakes before they touched the 
ground, the snow here was cottony white 
and all was quiet.
Charlies mother asked him if he would 
like to go out for a car ride in the snow.
Charlie accepted without hesitation. The 
boy and his mother got into the car and 
drove off down the snow packed lane.
Charlie listened to the crunch of the 
snow under the tires and admired the glistening twigs in the trees. 
The snow now began falling more heavily. A mile or so down the 
road approached a gentle curve. Mother saw it, and slowed down as 
it came up on the road. Unfortunately, a patch of ice caused the car 
to slide off the road and into a shallow snowdrift.
Charlie thought the mishap had been fun. Mother smiled and 
shifted into reverse. The wheels spun without traction. Mother 
stopped smiling. Charlie jumped out the passenger side without 
being asked and climbed down into the drift. He ran around to the 
front of the car and began to push.
Again, Mother stepped on the accelerator. 
Despite her and 
Charlies best efforts, the car continued to sit there, stuck. Mother
assured Charlie all would be fine. She spotted a house just down the 
road. The people would be strangers but undoubtedly friendly. 
Hand in hand, Charlie and his mother started walking. The snow 
continued to fall heavily.
It seemed a long way up the slippery lane. At last, the big house 
loomed before them. Mother knocked on the 
door. Moments later, it was answered by a lady 
with a kind face. She had no hesitation in invit­
ing Charlie and his mother into her house to use 
the telephone. The lady nodded in apparent con­
cern as they related their predicament.
Before long, someone had come to res­
cue the adventurous son and mother. It was a 
very special holiday, for Charlie and his mother 
especially.
During the Christmas season of 1958 in 
Sandringham, England, a ten year old boy finally 
learned what it was like to be ordinary, a remarkable fact.
For all the pomp and ceremony which followed him before and 
since, that one scene from his childhood, an adventurous afternoon 
with his mother remained embedded in his mind. Mother and son, 
helpless against the elements, were forced to call at a stranger’s house 
for assistance. They seemingly went from royalty to poverty.
Another person who remembers the event is the lady at Amner 
Hall who took them in. She never dreamed that Christmas season 
she would be assisting the stranded Queen Elizabeth and ten year old 
Prince Charles, heir to the throne of England.
Adapted from Destiny by Paul Aurandt, New York: William Morrow 
and Co., 1983.
from the uc vault
compiled by jared gibson
Union College Christmas Traditions
by Everett Dick (from Union College of the Golden Cords, Lincoln: 
UC Press, 1967.)
The tradition of the annual lighting of the campus Christmas 
tree dates from 1957 when a committee of the student association 
under the leadership of Sharon Chatfield started the idea. A beauti­
ful blue spruce tree stands at the southwest corner of the library on 
elevated ground. Immediately after Thanksgiving each year the pow­
erhouse crew wires and places Christmas tree lights on that tree. The 
lighting of the tree is announced for early December. At the evening 
worship hour, the whole school family assembles on the lawn sur­
rounding the tree where the president of the student association leads 
out in a short formal program consisting of songs, a prayer, and a
short talk by the president of the college on the significance of 
Christmas. The high point of the program comes at the conclusion 
of the talk of the college president when he turns on the Christmas 
tree lights, thus ushering in the Christmas season. From that time 
forward until vacation ends, every night at twilight the tree is light­
ed for all passersby and campus folk to enjoy.
At the 1965 Christmas tree lighting the associated student body 
“mailed” hundreds of greeting cards to Nebraska boys and known 
friends among the Armed Forces fighting in Vietnam. The students 
formed a long queue and marched past the platform, each placing his 
or her card in a big mailbox shaped and mounted like a rural box. To 
grace the occasion and fellowship with the school family were 
Nebraska Governor Frank Morrison and his wife. The governor 
made a short speech appropriate to the occasion.
news
no more late books
by brandon horniachek
Union College is finally starting to catch up to some of the big 
public universities, at least when it comes to the library. Measures 
have been taken to ensure that people are fully notified of their 
overdue books, and e-mails are now being sent out to those who 
have that problem.
“UNL has been sending e-mails for the past 10 years,” accord­
ing to one student. It’s good that Union has decided to get a jump 
on the technological way of doing things.
With this new system, the library won’t have to worry about 
people claiming to have lost their due date slip or just forgetting. 
Since everyone at the school has access to the internet, either in 
their rooms or in the microlab, the library believes that this will 
seriously cut down on overdue books.
summerless in nebraska
by karen parks
I miss Summer. No, I’m not referring to July. Summer is my Rhodesian 
Ridgeback (a dog) who is living with my parents since I’m not allowed to 
have pets in my apartment—if we’re not counting the mice. After visiting 
Summer, I’m a little sad when I come back; she’s not here to greet me at rhe 
door and keep my feet warm at night. I’m sure many of you can empathize 
with my situation. Many of you have family pets that you miss too-but 
friends, I have a solution to help ease the separation.
There are many furry friends that need your help. The Capitol 
Humane Society needs volunteers to help with their adoption programs and 
care of their animals. Volunteer opportunities include socializing with 
adoption animals-so whether you’re a “cat” person or a “dog” person, there’s 
somepaw that can use your help.
The Humane Society also participates in a pet assistant therapy pro­
gram. Theraputic use of pets is gaining attention and respect as success 
studies surmount with AIDs and cancer patients, the elderly, and the men­
tally ill. Human relationships are complex and sometimes unpredictable. 
Animals provide consistent comfort and bring out our nurturing instinct. 
They make us feel safe and accept us unconditionally-their immunity to 
stereotypes and discrimination is something we humans cannot compete 
with. These animals can bring life saving therapy to the sick, lonely, and 
depressed. Volunteers at the Humane Society bring animals to visit nursing 
homes, hospitals, and rehabilitation centers, and you can be a part of this 
amazing program.
Currendy, I’m enrolled for the Volunteer Orientation and Safe Animal 
Handling classes volunteers must complete. If you’re interested in becom­
ing a member, make an appointment with Donna Bode, Director of 
Education and Volunteers at the Capitol Humane Society: 441-4488.
culver's reconstructive
surgery 
by randy harmdierks
Single digit wind chills and snow flurries have signaled the 
beginning of winter but not the end of construction.
Culver residents will soon see the effects of the Ortner Center 
construction on their dorm as the interior phase of construction 
is scheduled to begin January 15. The cafeteria will be first, fol­
lowed by other areas of the dorm throughout next semester.
The center will join the dorm where the north staircase is 
now. The staircase will be replaced by a window-filled walkway. 
According to Joe Parmele, dean of Culver Hall, areas affected 
include the current lobby area, the rooms directly south of it, and 
all the rooms north of it. The dean’s office, front desk, and lobby, 
before moving into the center, will be temporarily moved to 
another location (not yet determined). The current main 
entrance and accompanying staircase will be eliminated, and the 
south door will serve as a temporary entrance. The rooms and 
hallway directly north of the lobby will become a conference 
room, while the staircase and rooms directly north of the desk 
will become a hallway. The restrooms in the north wing, which 
have been recently remodeled, will remain, but all the rooms in 
that wing will be destroyed and reconstructed as guest rooms.
The time it will take for each segment of the project is 
unknown, but the construction is scheduled to be complete by 
August, 2003.
esl thanksgiving
by justin okimi
Thanksgiving. More than just a feast of mashed 
potatoes, turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce, the hol­
iday (even when celebrated erroneously in November) 
is a reminder to stop and recognize that our lives are 
actually pretty good. North Americans, however, are 
the only people who celebrate this particular holiday.
For this reason, the ESL Department provides the 
opportunity for ESL students to share Thanksgiving 
with American families. Since the majority of ESL stu­
dents are also international students, many do not go 
home for the break. Spending Thanksgiving with fam­
ilies from Lincoln gives the students a chance to learn 
about the holiday traditions. The families also enjoy the 
opportunity of learning about an international culture.
Winnie Wong, a sophomore ESL student, celebrat­
ed her second Thanksgiving at the home of Beth 
Rodacker. Along with other ESL students, Winnie 
spent the afternoon playing games and having fun in 
addition to a great Thanksgiving meal. She explained 
that since this was only her second Thanksgiving, cele­
brating with an American family helped her learn more 
about the holiday traditions.
news
operation Christmas child
by kelly hauck
For a week, Union College students could be seen hurrying 
across campus with shoe boxes, toys, and wrapping paper for 
Operation Christmas Child, a project that sends shoe boxes full of 
toys and gifts to needy children all over the world.
This year, Union students and faculty, along with some com­
munity members, packed more than 150 boxes full of toys and 
personal items for hurting and needy children and piled them high 
outside of the Campus Ministries office.
Operation Christmas Child is a project of Samaritans Purse, a 
nondenominational organization that provides spiritual and phys­
ical relief to victims of war, famine, poverty, disease, and natural 
disasters throughout the world. 
In 2001 alone, Operation 
Christmas Child distributed more than 5 million boxes to 95 
countries. The project is a great opportunity for people of all ages 
to get involved in a simple missions project that brings Christmas 
cheer and the love of Jesus Christ to children who have never had 
the opportunity to experience it.
A great big thanks goes out from Campus Ministries to those 
students, faculty members, and community members who donat­
ed their time and money to pack a box and help make a needy 
child’s Christmas.
those empty spaces
by ben yancer
There’s an empty space on the bulletin board over my desk. 
Pictures and quotes, drawings and notes—they’ve been trying for a 
few months now to fill the void. But my memory of those better 
days—days when I always knew in a single glance what any given 
day at Union College was going to hold—has made it impossible for 
me to smile when I see the scrapbook of sorts that surrounds my 
desktop. I can almost still see its outline in the cork. Yes, I miss my 
Union College wall calender.
I’ve kept my feelings concerning this subject silent until now, 
assuming I was the only one sorting through separation anxiety for 
my precious calender. Other students seem okay. They go about 
their days, casual and care-free, carrying around planners that offer 
instant access to any information they might need. Thoughts of the 
way things used to be seem blatantly absent, while empty spaces over 
every desk at Union cry out in abandonment.
But I’m not the only one. While wrestling with this inner tur­
moil at a recent student senate meeting, I was pleased to hear Lynda 
Wysong bring up my dilemma. Scooting to the edge of the couch 
where I sat, I listened as senators began discussing the pros and cons 
of this year’s student planners versus last year’s wall calenders.
Do students long for the old wall calenders? Do they embrace 
the new planners? Which would they like to have next year? Why 
do they feel the way they feel? How do their faculty, staff, and par­
ents feel? Her questions penetrated to the heart of the issue.
To my great relief, the senators seemed to share my fondness for 
the days of the wall calender. They spoke of its many positive attrib­
utes. The monthly layout of Union’s events is more user friendly, 
allowing students to find important information in the blink of an
pizza 'til midnight
by brandon busby
At a recent senate meeting, the senate was joined by food service 
administrators Keri Bollinger and Pat Parmele. They discussed 
issues including current and future food prices, availability, and 
expansion into the Ortner Center, which is scheduled to open in 
August of next year.
The results of a survey given to students showed that 48% feel 
that the overall selection is inadequate, while 22.6% had no opin­
ion. When asked if the prices were reasonable, 89% said they 
weren’t, while only 3.36% said that they were.
With these figures in mind, the new facilities may provide 
longer hours, meaning that students will be able to eat during their 
normal hours, such as 11:30 p.m. Mr. Bollinger said that there 
might be a pizza oven open as late as midnight.
Prices are adjusted yearly, and they don’t vary throughout the 
year. Even though the prices are high this year, Union still accumu­
lates a $27,000/year loss loss in food service.
eye. It’s easier to refer to in one of Union’s many offices than to shuf­
fle through pages and pages, searching for a simple date. Parents 
enjoy having this daily reminder of their son or daughter hanging on 
their wall, where they can count down the days till the next break or 
keep track of what they child is up to in Lincoln, Nebraska.
To my great dismay, the senators didn’t stop there. They began 
analyzing the effectiveness of the student planners. Heeding their 
arguments, I found myself for the first time torn between my former 
love and the new handy book I’d been carrying around all semester. 
Somehow I’d formed an attachment to it. I’d become accustomed to 
having my whole schedule with me at all times, to being organized, 
and always knowing what’s happening no matter where I may be. 
Now hardly a day goes by when I don’t pull it out in the middle of 
class and jot down some assignment or a major project or the dead­
line for a term paper. I’m a person who would never buy an assign­
ment notebook for myself, and yet here I am, using one all the time.
The senators and I came to the same conclusion: We wanted 
both a planner and a calender. We knew that wasn’t possible, and we 
were willing to compromise. Maybe planners could be made for stu­
dents, and calenders for faculty, staff, and parents. Or maybe we 
could continue as planned with planners for all and put a calender 
on the website for people to print out. Or perhaps...
No official decision was made at that senate meeting, but the 
ideas and arguments expressed brought me much needed closure. 
Now as I sit here at my desk I relish in the pictures and quotes, draw­
ings and notes, that surround me. I see no empty space.
news
your mother-in-law
by tell suckut the quality management team
“Providing Unconventional service since Noah”
Are you one of those wigged-out people who swerves all over the road while talking to your mother-in-law on your cell phone about 
what toilet paper brand you should buy? If you are, or are planning to be, then we have the perfect epiphany for you. So sit back, grab some 
corn-dogs and read the low-down on cell phone plans available in the Lincoln area.
Unions Quality Management class engaged itself in serious mental activity to provide you with a full-fledged, in-depth comparison on 
local cell phone plans. Here’s the down-low:
Another factor to consider when choosing a plan is coverage area. For example, even though Cricket only costs 8/10ths of a cent per 
minute, its coverage area is about the size of a doormat. Cellular One, on the other hand, covers from Kansas to Canada and everything in 
between, EXCEPT OMAHA. With Cellular One, you can’t call from Omaha without incurring roaming charges. Meanwhile, Sprint con­
fuses potential customers by having an ambiguous coverage map. From what we can tell by looking at Sprint’s website, their PCS network 
covers Lincoln, Omaha, major highways, and most other major cities.
Considering a college student’s budget, we focused primarily on the cheapest plans available. However, if you require extensive minutes, 
we have included Sprint PCS Vision as a viable alternative.
quality management team finds 
the best prices in lincoln
Do you know where to find the best prices on groceries and per­
sonal care items in Lincoln? As a class project this semester, Quality 
Management decided to go shopping and find out for you. We 
picked four of the top names in grocery items: HyVee, Wal-Mart, 
Super Saver, and Russ’s Market. Then, we made a shopping list of 
items that could be bought at all four stores and would most likely 
be on a college student’s shopping list. The list included 27 name 
brand items such as Doritos®, Ben and Jerry’s® ice cream, Sure® 
deodorant, Herbal Essences® shampoo, and Crest® toothpaste. We 
then sent a team member to each store and priced the items.
When we compiled the results and applied the Quality 
Management Theorem (1) we found that Wal-Mart had the lowest 
prices on average. Please don’t sit there in shock. Keep reading! In 
second was Super Saver at 17% higher. Next, HyVee’s prices were 
27% higher on average. In last was Russ’s Market at 35% higher 
than Wal-Mart.
You, dear reader, may consider other factors before you use the
information we have given you. A few of those are distance, conve­
nience, availability of a car, and that nasty sewer smell up on 27th 
and Cornhusker. For some the issues may be larger. Is Wal-Mart 
good for the economy? I’ll leave those matters for you to clarify, 
because that’s an entirely different newspaper article. We have pro­
vided you with the ground base and classified intelligence. The plan 
of attack is now in your consumer hands.
Quality Management leaves you with the reminder that you are 
your own best (or worst) manager.
(1) A+B=C—therefore—C/27=average
A=product list
B=product list
C=total cost of groceries
27=total number of items on list
CellOne 
CellOne 
Sprint
Lincoln 
Western Plus 
Cricket 
Sprint 
PCS Vision
Rate 
$30.00 
$35.00 
$32.99 
$39.99 
$89.99
Anytime Min. 
400 
350 
350 
350 
1000
Nt/Wknd Min. 5000 
3500 
3650 
3650 
7000
Total Min. 
5400 
3850 
4000 
4000 
8000
Price/Min.(cents) 0.556 
0.909 
0.825 
1.000 
1.125
by kris wetmore and the 
quality management team
sports
what good are profes­
sional athletes?
by kyle martsching
#64 left tackle, green bay 
packers, santa claus
by kyle martsching
In the last three weeks, four of the Portland Trailblazers 
of the National Basketball Association have gotten them­
selves into trouble. Damon Stoudamire, and Rasheed 
Wallace were arrested for smoking pot. Ruben Patterson was 
arrested last Monday night on a felony domestic assault 
charge. This involved his wife. Bonzi Wells spit 
on Danny Ferry and was suspended for one 
game. It seems like this is what we hear most 
about athletes aside from their statistics.
Sometimes it just makes me sick to hear this neg­
ative stuff over and over again.
The good news is that there are nice guys out 
there that give back to the community. Many of 
these guys give millions of dollars to charities or 
start their own. They make appearances in com­
munities and take lots of time to help out. It 
might even help them from getting in trouble. I 
wish more of these type of things were highlight­
ed in the news instead of all the bad press.
Check out some of the things that these guys 
have started. There is more information on posi­
tive things that athletes are doing go to 
www.sportingnews.com/features/goodguys/ and- 
check around to see who some of the good guys are. You can 
get information on donations to the different organizations 
or what they are doing. Be inspired to do something great 
for your community.
§lft giving athletes compiled by kyle martsching
In week 12 of the Nation Football League season, the Green Bay Packers 
lost Chad Clifton to a injury brought on by a tough hit by Warren Sapp. 
What will they do without two of their top offensive lineman on their quest 
for a Super Bowl ring?
What they need is a nimble 300 pound guy to block those tough defen­
sive ends away from the quarterbacks blind side. Santa 
Claus fits this description. I mean, the guy can get up 
and down chimneys and lug around tons of toys that 
get heavier every year because they are electronic 
devices. He has to eat all those cookies and milk, and of 
course in Wisconsin he gets cheese. But really, the guy 
is huge and a natural.
Is he a leader? You try and get a some reindeer to 
do what you want them too. I saw a video of a guy 
dress up as Santa Claus and the reindeer attacked him. 
Santa is used to the cold, so playing at Lambeau field 
will seem like summer to him after being in the north 
pole all the time. I am sure that Santa probably has 
NFL season ticket on his satellite dish up there and 
watches lots of games. Its got to get boring with mak­
ing toys and talking to elves. Football makes him feel 
like a man again. You might be thinking, he is old and 
will get hurt right? Santa is a gamer and hasn’t missed 
a Christmas because of an ankle sprain or something. Santa would not need 
a big contract, and yet he is too humble to call for a spot on the team. If he 
were called and could work in his holiday schedule I think it’s the perfect fit. 
Besides he might need to do something if some good little boy’s Christmas 
wish is for the Packers to win the Super Bowl.
DIKEME MUTOMBO Center, Nation Basketball Association, 
Nets 1999: As one of the 20 winners of the President's Service 
Awards, the nation's highest honor for volunteer service, sponsored 
by the Points of Light Foundation, he created the Dikembe 
Mutombo Foundation three years ago to assist with efforts to pro­
vide humanitarian assistance to his homeland (Congo, formerly 
known as Zaire). He traveled to the Congo in the summer of 2000 
as part of his ongoing efforts to build a medical facility in his home­
land. In 1999 he donated $3 million to start construction on a $44 
million hospital, and also shipped $250,000 worth of medical and 
pharmaceutical supplies and 40 beds to existing hospitals.
CURT 
SCHILLING, 
Pitcher, 
Major 
League 
Baseball, 
Diamondbacks: Contributed $1 million in the last year to the 
United Way and ALS organizations in Phoenix and Philadelphia. 
Has contributed millions overall to the ALS cause and courts busi­
nesses to raise more money for related organizations.
DOUG FLUTIE, Quarterback, National Football League, 
Chargers: Has worked diligently to raise $3 million for research into 
autism, which affects his son. Also has lobbied Congress for 
increased government spending on research and education about 
autism.
FRED MILLER, Offensive tackle, National Football League, Titans: 
Committed $800,000 to begin Nurses for Newborns in Nashville, 
Tenn. The organization provides safety for at-risk families and works 
to help prevent infant mortality, child abuse, and neglect.
MARIO LEMIEUX, Center, National Hockey League, Penguins: 
Gave $5 million to the University of Pittsburgh for Centers for 
Patient Care and Research, which is named after him. Has raised 
more than $3 million with a golf tournament for neonatal and 
Hodgkin's disease research
Source: Sporting News.com, NBA.com
living
stockings in the dark
by jessica robison
When I was little, Christmas was my favorite time. No school, 
snow on the trees, hot chocolate, and presents. Usually the presents 
were placed under the protective branches a week before the expect­
ed day. My brother and I dashed to the tree, frantically rummaging 
through the carefully placed packages. We examined the sticky tags 
that said "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Holidays," searching for 
our names. There it was. "To Jessie, from Santa." The tags always 
said "from Santa." After what I like to call The Great 
Disillusionment, we knew the presents weren't really from Santa, but 
we humored our parents anyway. One Christmas, my Grandma 
made us a kid-sized tepee. It was a brownish color, complete with 
poles. The sides had cutout windows and a flap to get in 
and out. Our initials were sewn into the front, in large 
pastel colors. JAR and EAR. This was our tepee. The 
following Christmas, Eric and I decided that we would 
camp out in his room in the tepee. We rolled out our 
sleeping bags and set up the flashlights. We also set up 
a little stool with a clock perched on top. The clock 
was there for a purpose. It told us when it was 5:00 
am. Five a.m. was the earliest time we were allowed to 
rise and open our stockings.
"You kids may not get up any earlier than five," 
my mother warned us the night before. "Just look at 
the clock. When the first number says five, then you 
can get up."
"Okay," we agreed.
We snuggled down in our tepee to await the long 
night. Laying on our backs, our eyes shone white in the dark. The 
excitement was too much. Presents were crying to be opened. 
Stockings were bulging. Cookies and milk were ready. Sleep? What a 
silly idea.
Hours later, I jerked awake, flooded with the realization that it 
was morning. Sticking my head through the tepee flap I was cruelly 
disappointed. Through the window panes I could only see envelop­
ing black.
That doesn't' mean it's not morning yet. I told myself. 
Sometimes it's dark while it's morning. The clock!
The clock would tell me the truth. The clock did not lie. 
Trembling with anticipation, I turned to gaze at its iridescent num­
bers, glowing like red coals in the darkness.
What's that number? It looks kind of like a five. Hmm, I'm not 
really sure. Oh no.
My age was against me again. I didn't have numbers down yet. 
Deciding that it did say five, I shook Eric awake. We tiptoed down 
the dark stairs and into the living room. There they were. Knobby 
stockings pregnant with surprises. We ran to them and dug in. Five 
minutes later, wrapping paper was strewn about the living room and 
we feasted our gaze on the tree.
"What's that behind?"
"I don't know." I went to the tree to investigate the metal object 
nestled behind.
"A scooter!"
"Really? Let's go outside and ride it."
"Okay."
We happily opened the front door and went out 
into the cold, dragging our new treasure behind us. 
Riding it around the driveway, we were startled by our 
father at the front door. His hair sticking every which 
way, his eyes half shut against the glaring porch light, 
he rasped, "What are you doing?"
"It's Christmas! Get up! we ordered.
"It's 2:00 in the morning. Go back to bed."
"It's 5:00. I looked at the clock," I replied, a bit 
offended at his insinuation that I could not read num­
bers.
"No it's not. Go back to bed."
It wasn't five. It was two. We trudged back to bed. 
I stung with the humiliation of ignorance. I couldn't 
read numbers.
Christmas is no longer magical. The excitement is tainted with 
adult worries and problems. I would rather get a few more hours of 
sleep then wake up early and open a stocking. Now I actually have 
to buy presents for others. I know what I'm getting for Christmas 
because I gave explicit instructions to my parents. I'd rather have 
money to spend than packages to open. It's not a bad thing. 
Christmas is not ruined, it's merely different. I could ramble on all 
day about things I miss from childhood. Most people know life can't 
remain simple, and I'm not even sure I want it too. I know every­
body has to grow up, but once in awhile I crave the Christmas of 
childhood. The lights are shining, and the tree towers above me. I 
want to wrap myself in a cocoon of anticipation. I want pure unadul­
terated excitement. I want surprise. I don’t want to know how to 
read numbers anymore. I want to erase knowledge and fill the space 
with feeling.
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coTfryou have, 
and only you can determine how it wilibe spent. Be careful 
lest you let other people spend it for you.
.yrCar[ Sandburg, poet (1878-1967)
w
living
after the stockings
by daniel murauskas
After the stockings, which were hung by the chimney with care, 
have been raided of their chocolate covered cherries and church 
school oranges, you want to eat a big Christmas breakfast. Now, 
this is possible at Jimmy Ace’s Platinum Grille. Located on the 
southwest corner of 1 Oth and South streets, they have been serving 
up some of the better burgers and shakes in Lincoln. But since 
October 18, Jimmy Ace’s added a breakfast menu. One touch I 
appreciated was that all breakfasts come with either toast or butter­
milk pancakes. 
I had a mushroom and tomato omelette and 
enjoyed my pancakes much more. I admit I made a mistake in 
building my omelette without cheese. The hash browns were made 
perfectly as 1 expect from anything made on Jimmy’s grill (after all 
it is platinum). Unfortunately while cotton is king in the south,
ham is still king of the breakfast meats. Eleven of the sixteen items 
include our porcine friend Babe. Of course, one may always request 
removal of the offensive item, but biscuits and gravy without the 
sausage gravy are just biscuits. The orange juice in a frosted glass 
was another pleasing detail. When I go again, I’ll get their wonder­
ful pancakes with some blueberries. And since the pancakes are 
great and they call their French toast and waffles “delicious,” my 
third trip will include one of those. While I was enjoying my meal, 
1 wallowed in the ambiance of Jimmy’s 50s diner setting. I’m almost 
sure my waitress, Peny (yes with one n), was an extra in Happy Days 
and continued with a minor role in Laverne and Shirley. Out of 
seven, I give the food a five, the setting a six, and the cost a four.
I will raise my hairy armpits and 
resist gross generalizations! ! by devin adams
All of us have grown up divided and conquered along lines of 
gender and sexual preference, body type and ethnicity, class, and 
race—bought off with privileges and beaten down with psychologi­
cal warfare so we’ll do our parts to keep the pecking order in place.
White supremacy, patriarchy, and heterosexism are the pillars of 
this civilization. I am appealing to everyone at this college and 
myself to fight against these oppressive structures whether we find 
them in society or in ourselves; but aiming for more liberation of 
human beings of all identities—we want the liberation of all human 
beings from generalized identities.
Rise up and believe there are no universals. Group identities are 
self-perpetuating fabrications that begin with circumstantial evi­
dence and end by imposing uniformity. There are two genders, for 
example, like there are “only” twelve tones in every octave; it seems 
true when you look at a piano, but try opening your mouth and 
singing!
Though “femininity” may appear ordained by nature to those 
who grew up in environments where all women shave their legs and 
armpits, it is merely a generalization drawn from generations of 
standardized behavior, reinforced by each replication. But as there 
is no “pure” femininity, no substance the generalization refers to 
besides what all the individual instances are perceived to have in 
common, and so each generation is not the “original” but a “copy.”
At best, generalizations like class and gender can be used to 
undo themselves—to expose and confront the patterns of oppression 
that run through individual lives, to find a common cause in fight­
ing the invisibility of certain experiences and histories. We want to 
move beyond these and all categories and conflicts, but it’s only
going to happen if we begin by addressing them.
In men’s groups, human beings constructed as men can 
exchange skills for rewiring their programming; in women only 
spaces, those constructed as women can explore similarly without 
the presence of men interfering. Our language, our visual, mental, 
and emotional expectations need to be challenged and analyzed. 
We need to ask ourselves where are we drawing our conclusions of 
each other from.
Television, magazines, music, and religion all create pictures of 
how we are suppose to look and act. The Gap, Verizon Wireless, 
and the President don’t care if we feel like an individual. If we are all 
Republican Gap wearers using cellular phones, we keep those com­
panies rich. We live in a fear-based society that scares us into con­
forming so we will consume ideas and products. The media feeds off 
of us not feeling good about ourselves. Our skin can always be clear­
er, our breath fresher, our stomachs flatter, our hair shinier, wrinkles 
are ugly, and this year, plaid is in.
I am petitioning for individual revolution. We need to take back 
our right to make and remake ourselves in every moment, and 
wreck the systems of divisions in the process. This Christmas, adver­
tisements will bombard and want to bring the world together 
through merchandise. The voices will say “all women want dia­
monds and all men want mechanical toys.” The prison walls of gross 
generalizations bar the individual. Rise up and write your own 
story. Grant yourself license to live and tear those shackles to rib­
bons. Don’t wait for yourself to show up—you already have.
Merry Revolution To You!
religion
memories of an aetheist
I’ve been called a Scrooge before and rightly so.I hate Christmas. 
I hate the trees, what a horrible waste of time and energy. Thousands 
of evergreens are cut down every year, so we can have that fresh pine 
smell in our homes, and then hours are spent with tinsel and lights 
to improve on the appearance of nature. Then if a home is seen 
without one, they’re thought of as spoil sports or poor. Couldn’t they 
just be environmentally conscious?
I hate the presents. People never know what to 
get you anyway. Come Christmas morning your 
excitement grows and grows until you actual rip 
open the hideously clashing red and green boxes 
covered in taped on ribbon and overweight cartoon 
Santa Clauses only to find a mug, desk calendar, or 
yet another Chicken Soup for the Soul book. Half 
the presents are obligatory anyway. Someone want­
ed to give one to my brother or sister, or to my 
mom or dad, and felt that they needed to get one 
for me too, because they had to.
I hate the music, like somehow a white 
Christmas in the form of snow will somehow mag­
ically make everything better, like a sleigh ride 
somehow improves the quality of life, and if chest­
nuts aren’t roasting on an open fire somehow the 
joy of the day could be lost.
I hate the food: turkey, cranberry sauce, stuffing, mashed pota­
toes and gravy, pumpkin and apple pie, one more excuse for an
already overweight America to glutton themselves one more day, 
only to feel sorry for themselves and then want to go on some diet 
craze come December 26th.
Most of all I hate the kindness, the kindness that begins once 
Thanksgiving is over, and ends once everyone has had their fill of 
“It’s a Wonderful Life.” I know it isn’t real anyway. If it was it would 
last the rest of the year, but once the credit card bills 
start rolling in, the Christmas tree needs to be taken 
out, and you realize how much weight you’ve really 
gained, somehow everyone seems to lose the 
Christmas spirit.
Wouldn’t it be horrible if church were like that, if 
church were only about the decorations: stained 
glass windows, crosses, murals, dressing up in our 
high heels and suits? Wouldn’t it be horrible if 
church were only about what we could get, or about 
going because we felt obligated, because our friends 
or parents went? Wouldn’t it be horrible if we sang 
all these words about praise and glory and never 
lived then, because they didn’t really mean anything 
to us, and were just some filler for time? Wouldn’t it 
be horrible if it was about the food, potlucks and 
Sabbath dinners, if all we looked forward to 
were the casseroles and punch? Wouldn’t church be just unbearably 
sickening if the kindness started when we walked through the doors 
and ended once the sermon was over? Oh wait. . .
CORNERby yara gomez
It’s the season of lights, bells, good cooking, family, and the best kind 
of music available today. Though it may be cold outside, the hearts 
of people everywhere are as warm as the spiced cinnamon scented 
candles burning inside. Yes, Christmas! The jolly season 
of Yule tide carol! This season of presents and stockings, 
also brings along hat, glove, and scarf weather. While 
celebrating the festivities, we should remember to take 
extra care of ourselves, so that we can stay healthy and 
happy! Here are a few tips:
“Exercise: Many don’t feel like walking in the teeth- 
chattering cold to get to Larson Lifestyle center.
Exercise indoors! Get a workout video like tae bo and 
put it in to your VCR and you may exercise in the 
warmth of your own room!
* Lotion: In this very dry season, you want to lath­
er up on the lotion to make sure your skin doesn’t crack or bleed. 
Also make sure you have chapstick with you at all times (Carmex is 
the best).
“Toothache: It’s ok to splurge every now and then, but be care­
ful. This holiday season treats and sweets will be given in abundance. 
Don’t get too happy with sugars, you could end up sick.
“Stress: With so much to do, so many presents to buy, and finals, 
stress might become your taskmaster. Try to do your 
Christmas shopping before it gets so bad you have to 
beat old ladies up to get candy canes! Be patient in line! 
And relax and take time off from your studying to enjoy 
friends and family.
“Showtime: Catch up on warm holiday favorite 
movies for some R&R. Suggestions are Miracle on 34th 
street, White Christmas, and It’s a Wonderful life. Listen 
to some Christmas music and sing along, or even take 
friends and go caroling.
The most important part of this Christmas season 
is to remember the greatest gift of all. God sent His 
only son, that through him we should have life. Let’s celebrate our 
Lords birth first and foremost. Let us give glory to God in the high­
est! Merry Christmas, everyone!
columnists
lost in paradise
by michael paradise
“Christmas Isn’t Not My Favorite Holiday”
“True or false: 
Wasn’t Jesus not born in Bethlehem?” Boy, 
Roeske’s tests can be trickier than necessary. I mean, I know the 
answer, but I easily lose count of the double and triple negatives. 
And I’ll admit that it is kind of hard to concentrate on a Christian 
Beliefs final when in a few short hours, I’ll be home for Christmas. 
But sitting here in this classroom and taking a final, I’ve discovered 
an undeniable parallel. Professor Roeske’s exams and the Christmas 
season are a lot alike! They are both confusing!
Yes, the Christmas season is confusing.
Christmas lists, music, and decorations all come 
together to provide an atmosphere that people 
can easily recognize as the Christmas spirit. And 
for the most part, this stuff works. When I walk 
around the mall, and it is trimmed with banners 
of maroon, forest green, and sparkling gold, I 
can’t help but to bring back memories of 
Christmas past. Smiling people, warm candles, 
and a crowded Dillard’s help me recall a special feeling of belonging.
Not only is the holiday great for those reasons, but it’s also a great 
time for practical jokes. As a rebellious young punk, I had some great 
times on Santa’s lap! All that I’ll say is that if you ever have kids, don’t 
allow them to bring a Super Soaker anywhere near Santa. My moth­
er wouldn’t have let me, but what she didn’t know...didn’t hurt Santa! 
The security guards were ticked, but Santa was cool (and a little wet).
Although I haven’t always believed in Santa Claus, I’ve always 
liked him fine. He is probably my favorite of the Holiday Mascot 
Elite League. As a matter of fact, I have Santa on my fantasy team! 
As for as I’m concerned, he is smarter than the rabbit (Easter), better 
looking than the little green guy (St. Patrick’s Day) and jollier than
Satan (Halloween). A bit of advice for the young readers: When you 
stop stop believing in Santa is when you start getting clothes for 
Christmas. Delay that day!
Oh, but those days have come and gone for me. But there are 
still fun things to do during the holidays. Last year, when some car­
olers came to my door, I decided it was time to enjoy the Christmas 
spirit. I answered the door with a smile, but without saying any­
thing. They started their some, and after 
their big finish, I gave them a funny look, 
and pretended to perform a sign language 
expression. They assumed that I was deaf 
and hadn’t heard a word they had sung. 
They laughed, I shrugged my shoulders, 
and politely closed the door. Alright, 
maybe it was rude and politically incor­
rect, but it was sure funny!
Honestly, I love this time of the year. 
Mr. Blake takes his classes around to unsuspecting 2nd floor class­
rooms to carol; festive lights are strung in dorm rooms; and I hear 
that Mrs. Parmele is going to hook up a red and green mock turkey 
loaf! Even the ageless “Silly Songs with Roeske” will be swapped for 
joyful holiday classics.
“True of false: Cain didn’t not kill Abel.” Good ol’ Roeske! While 
his tests are sometimes hard to decipher, there is still a profound les­
son that can be taken from them, for they still remind me of the 
Christmas season. While both can be confusing, their objective is to 
remind me of the existence of Jesus Christ as our sacrifice. Merry 
Christmas!
big bad book basher
by megan crawley
Every year we are bombarded with yet another wave of books 
meant to capture the Christmas spirit. They tell thrilling tales and sto­
ries that make you cry. They include vivid, moving illustrations on 
bright elaborate covers. But their attempts are futile, because a classic 
never dies.
Barbara Robinson’s The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is a 
Christmas tale with an unusual cast of characters, unlikely heroes, and 
a surprising ending. In The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, a local family 
of troublemakers intrudes upon the church’s Christmas pageant, and 
they begin to wreak havoc from the very beginning. After a string of 
mishaps and catastrophes, everyone learns a lesson, and all comes 
together in the end to create a charming story with an important les­
son — love conquers all. In my opinion, no other story past or present, 
true or fiction captures the spirit of Christmas as effectively as The 
Best Christmas Pageant Ever. Let it bring the Christmas spirit to your 
heart this year.
This book is available at the Union College Library in paperback, 
hardback, and audiotape. It is also available in all Lincoln City 
.libraries._____________________ 
_____
opinion
my favorite book
by callie kanen
The Fourth Wise Man is my favorite book, though I have never read 
it. My father reads it every Christmas. This is our oldest and most mem­
orable tradition. Our family sits in the living room and listens to the 
familiar lines of the tattered little book.
It is the story of the wiseman who started all the other wisemen on 
the famous “wiseman quest” for Christ. He convinced his three young 
friends that the king was to be born and to follow the star. He had sold 
all of his belongings to buy three precious gems for the Master: a ruby, 
a pearl, and a diamond. My fathers voice is gentle and wonderful to lis­
ten to as he reads of how the fourth wise man was delayed and in trying 
to catch up with his friends, he stopped to help those in need, using his 
gems as funding. He was on his mission for 30 years. He finally caught 
up with Jesus, penniless but wiser, when He was being crucified.
I never understood or really cared about the story when I was a child 
or a teenager. It held only sentimental value for me because it was a fam­
ily tradition. I never read it myself—I simply listened. I was usually to 
preoccupied with my recently opened treasures to understand what Dad 
was giving me. He wanted so badly for me to understand and to think 
about more than just the story. Although an avid reader, I was a kid and 
I just didn’t care about what the story meant. The story bored me but 
the tradition meant so much to Dad, so I endured the two and a half 
hours every Christmas. For a kid, two and a half hours is an eternity in 
playing-with-just-unwrapped-gifts time.
At the age of 20,1 discovered reading-and thinking—in a whole new 
light. I read book after book that I would never have touched before. I 
learned that the technicalities of the story aren’t always what is impor­
tant. The meaning behind the story is the bigger picture. I began to learn 
about layers and why the author would hide behind characters and sub­
plots and pen names to get a point across. Over and over I asked of 
myself this same question, why am I reading this book? This helped me
unedited
by callie kanen
I don’t know about you, but I like to plan my conversations before 
I have them. Like a stage in my own head, I play out the scene. 
Sometimes I visualize this whole movie in my head about a conversation 
I know I’m never going to have. But the best ones are the ones that I 
plan to have, then do have... and shoot to pieces. Where and how will 
I stand? What will my facial expression be? Every tone in my voice is 
carefully chosen. This way I can edit what I want to say and it will be 
perfect. Of course, things never go the way I want them to.
The other day, I knew I was going to see someone; spend time with 
him. There was something I wanted to say. So I started. In my head the 
movie played. He sees me. I say, “Hey. How are ya? Great weather we’re 
having. Look, I wanted to tell you something. I think you’re great. 
You’ve been an inspiration to me. I really admire the way you listen to 
me and are honest about your opinion of what I do. The way you talk 
to me makes me feel grown up and intelligent. You are a wonderful 
mentor. Without you, I wouldn’t be headed in the direction I am now. 
Thank you for being so...great.”
Next comes the editing. Change words. Relax. Change posture. 
Rearrange stances. Each syllable is edited, each word analyzed. Suddenly 
I realize that he might take this whole speech wrong. The doubts begin.
weed out superficial material and spend my time on more meaningful 
literature.
Last Christmas, as usual, my dad got out the worn book, but we 
were driving out to see someone and he was forced to watch the road so 
I was left to carry on the tradition. “Read with flare,” Dad said. “Put a 
little emotion into it.” I began the story and we wove our way through 
the journeys and adventures of the wiseman. Far from boring, the story 
began to sweep me from my place in the car to the sand of the desert and 
the villages the wiseman passed through. I was feeling the book for the 
first time. As the wiseman came to the end of his journeys, I began to 
choke up. He was looking for Jesus and the streets were empty because 
everyone was at Jesus’ crusifixtion and then I couldn’t finish. I never cry 
over books.
Tears rolled down my face as my mother read the last of the pages. 
I thought about the years before when I had not appreciated my father’s 
choice in books and thought of all the time I had wasted. I was glad he 
had not given up because I finally understood what he had wanted for 
me all those years. He wanted me to love the tradition for all it 
was—more than just the reading of the book but a new experience every 
time. He wanted me to understand the book. He wanted me to think 
deeper. This was the only way he could think of to get the point across. 
Like the wiseman, my father had given me everything he had over the 
years. He had felt as though he was getting nowhere and was hindered 
by gifts and parades and Christmas dinners. He was finally coming to 
the end of the quest because I understood. I understood that he wanted 
me to learn something more from the book.
As you go through your holiday season, remember that the tradi­
tions you hold are there for a reason. Look for the meaning behind the 
things your family does year after year and bring it back with you to bet­
ter your life. Merry Christmas.
What if he thinks I’m coming on to him? I am a girl and he is a boy and 
that puts a strain on any conversation as it is. (Should it be that way? 
No. But it is and we all have to face it.) So, clip. The “you’re great” part 
falls to the cutting room floor. What if he thinks I’m clingy? Clip again. 
There goes “changing the direction of my life.” No amount of scripting 
could plan for all the possibly wrong ways he could take my wonderful­
ly planned speech but I’m going to give it a try anyway. Then suddenly, 
I’m done. I have finally accomplished the impossible. I have edited every 
possible thing he could take wrong.
And just in the nick of time too because I’m am coming upon the 
meeting place.
He turns.
I look into his face and say...“Hi.”
My intentions were good. I wanted to say everything I felt but the 
filter in my head caught all the emotion and my speech was wrung dry 
like a dirty dish towel. My words that were intended to tell him what a 
wonderful person he was and the impact he had on me were swept away 
in the worry of how they might come across. No matter how many 
times I have the opportunity to see him and tell him everything, I won’t 
because I will never have the courage to give him the unedited version.
art
picture by michelle singh
Katie Rea, art editor
/Meditated /\ mbitxons
by Jennifer ewers
Some students view Union as a school that focuses on working as a team 
Yet others see it as a source that leads them to their dreams 
Students choose every day how they view the school 
Only they know what drives them to accomplish their goals—what works as a fuel 
When one chooses their own special path 
They cannot worry about how parents, teachers or friends may laugh 
Dreams and goals seem so far out of reach 
There is so much to be done, they all preach 
All you put into what you do will pay off 
When the unthinkable works itself out 
Your dreams and goals are just ahead
For when you commit your life, goals, and dreams completely to out God, who cares? 
You and your family are happy you shared 
And once your goal becomes a reality 
Everything starts to fall into place expectedly 
Life begins to take you on a whirlwind 
But with all these changes come new experiences 
And you may face some fears
But then you remember that God is on your side and everything is clear 
Your life begins to blossom before your very eyes 
And it all started with a single dream sent up to the skies
faithfully accumulated by bill heinrichu said it
what do you hope to find under the Christmas tree?
“Kelly Ruin in a navy 
blue bridesmaid dress.”
- anitra reynolds -
“An electric blanket. I 
hate Nebraska winters.”
- kristen eddy -
“A new supercharger.”
- karl doering ag
“A Harley.”
- vanessa waters -
“A set of Ellen G. White 
books.”
- jenelle mathiesen cSf
“My two front teeth.”
- scott barron -
“A brand new car.”
-lois stamper
“A hand-crocheted scarf 
and hat.”
- dan fale -